Jackie0621

There are times when it all seems easier if I just left but no road is an easy road. Life is not easy for that matter. My husband and myself never fight in front of the kids. I know they probably feelthe tension but really there isn't even that. My husband does not like to talk about his problems or the problems facing our family. For him, avoidence is the best answer. He says it is because he has no answer or excuse. His sexual addiction to him is a private matter which he tries to hide from me at all costs. Most of them he does not know I know about. He knows how I feel but says he cannot help himself. I realize that with any addiction the bonds are hard to break and until he is ready there is nothing I can do but pray for him. I have been leaning on Christ for this. Patience is something that I have prayed for a lot over the years and seem to recieve when I need it the most. I do not want to hurt the kids. Maybe that is not an excuse to stay but they deserve at least the fighting chance for our family. I have watched my husband go from bad to worse over the last month. He is fighting his personal demons. His family is trapped by porn. His father is addicted and joined a nudist colony. His brother is in jail for a sexual related crime. He was also addicted to pornography. His mother is a Christian but only became one again in the last three years. His whole family was when he was younger but his Dad gave that up when my husband was about thirteen. His father refuses to have anything to do with the church or God. Now so does my husband. He barely believes God exists because he prayed and cried for deliverence and nothing happened. He said he was still in bondage. To him that means that there is no God. This all happened a few years ago. I do not know what the right thing to do here is. Yes it hurts. Yes my self estem suffers even though I know it has nothing to do with me. When I pray though I can't help but feel like if I leave I would be turning him over to only sin further. Then he would have noone that beleives in God in his life. I have prayed and meditated on all the advice everyone has given me and still have no definate answer. My husband has said to me that he does not like to talk to me about it because if I knew what he really thought about I would leave. I also know the devil has him wrapped tightly. What if me and God are the only things standing in his wasy from something much worse? I am due to have this baby in about six weeks and have no idea how things are going to turn out but for now I am holding on to faith.

Hi all, Thank you for your comments but I am still slightly confused. If you sin against the holy spirit that means you cannot be saved. What if you were saved and walked away from that life? Is that sinning against the holy spirit? I have not had much to do with my faith? Often I have even questioned it? Yet I still refuse to completely stop believing in it. Once I honestly heard the Holy Spirit working in me but that was so long ago. Now my desire is gone! I am trying to find my way back because I long for that peace but seem to be getting nowhere. Is this a hardening of the heart the Bible refers to? I have prayed and even tried to read my Bible! Still nothing stirs withinme. So i began to think that maybe I have commited this sin because I feel shunned. Maybe I am overshooting but I knew the truth and walked away. The impardonable sin is to blaspheme against the holy spirit. Isn't what I have done along the same lines. I have sinned concsiously knowing it was against god isn't this blaspheme? Jackie

Hi all, I was reading the verse about the unpardonable sin against the holy spirit. I was wondering if you have lost all faith and can't seem tp pray anymore does that mean you might have commited this sin. When my mother died I was unable to attend church. Me and my mother took the kids every Sunday. I have not been able to go back since. I really have no idea why. I can't sem to bring myself to pray. I geuss I don't see the point because I feel like I am lying to God. I have not felt his presence in my life for three years. If you committed this sin would that mean you would loose all desire for Christ and his message. If it's unforgivable then have you lost hope for your salvation. I am just confused. A pastor didn't tell me what this sin meant but that I wouldn't care if I had commited this sin. So if it has gotten to the point where I don't seem to care then does that mean I have. I have no real explanation for why my life has gone this way so if anyone has any input please let me know. Jackie

Thank you all for your advice and loving support!! I am still at my wits end with this but have laid it in Gods hands. I wish he would see a marriage councelor but he is very objective to this. Feels there is nothing wrong. I just get to the point where I stop talking about it to avoid problems. I have asked God for many years about this ands have gotten no clear answers. I know leaving would break the kids hearts so have avoided that at all costs. There are times it feels easier not to care at all. I love my family so to keep fighting seems like the answer. I just wish my heart would listen once and awhile. Thank you agin for all of your help. You all have been a great comfort to me for I have no one else to talk to about this. God Bless, Jackie

Crystal, I know how you feel! I have been down that road many, many times. I have gotten to the point that I wondered if I was even saved. I couldn't bring myself to pray because I felt like I was lyingto God. I knew I would only last a few weeks before my life would go back to the same sin I was in before. I have also learned that the devil wants us to give up, give in, give up hope. Nobody knows you like God does and he has infinite patience. We don't but he does. Even if you don't feel like it pray, read God's word, and keep supportive Christian friends around you who will help you keep your sight on him. God does not expect us to be perfect. He knows your heart and he knows what troubles you!! Keep praying that has helped me. Take care in Christ.

Hi all!! I need some advice. I have been married for 7 years and my husband has eyes for other women. He is currently involved with online chat with a girl who sent him some mildly explicit pictures of herselh. he says there is nothing going on but I have seen the emails he has sent to his friends about her. Mostly they are about how hot she is. she does know that he is married. Over the years I have dealt with alot of things with him. Pornography, magazines, his flirting, and I just can't seem to trust him. I have told him how I felt but it doesn't seem to really matter. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. He doesn't believe that lusting after other women can lead to having an affair. He will not have anything to do with God so that is out. I am constantly hurt over and over. I feel inadequate,ugly, unworthy of true love. The kind where it is just me and him. I realiz this is an addiction but how long shoukd I keep hurting. i end up resenting myself and him. I have tried ignoring it thinking it really has nothing to do with me but the hurt never goes away. When i push te issue he makes me feel stupid for feeling the way I do . Or that it is all in my head. There r times I just want to pack up and leave to save myself the heartache. However,we have four children and are about to have our fifth. i worry about there future and sexual morality. What do I do????