RedeemedByHim

Of course it is about publicity. I expect there will be a couple of books comming out shortly, "Living with Abuse" and "Christians and Divorce"

Maybe you are right maybe not, but personally a book on Christians and divorce may be a good thing. I would love a book like that. I just had my husband abandon me a few months ago and completely cut me out of his life. THis has been the hardest thing I have ever encountered and because my husband said he loved God, I often question God's love for me and how this could happen. I also was in an abusive marriage. I agree on the publicity thing, but I also side with Bynum that she shouldn't have to live with abuse. I totally understand her wanting to be done.

how do you make a marriage last if you have 4 kids and your spouse doesn't love you

I will be praying for you. I don't have the words to say and as I am posting I have tears in my eyes...My husband did not love me. For three and a half years he called me horrible names and put me down constantly and I put up with it cause I thought I deserved it. Two months ago I came out east to visit my sick grandma who I had not seen since I was sixteen. My husband called me the night before I was to return home and told me he no longer wanted to be married and then changed his phone numbers. This is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.

But I don't want to talk about me cause this is about you, but I will be praying for you.

Going through this is so much harder than I would have imagined. Here I am waiting on the papers to come in the mail for our separation. (In Minnesota I guess you have to be separated first) But anyhow, my husband has completely cut me out of his life. There is no way that I can get a hold of him. I cry at the oddest times and then can't stop. I am filled with so many emotions right now. I am angry, hurt, sad, confused, in shock. I just want the pain to be gone and all of this to be over with so I can get on with my life.

Sister, you do not have to wait for your husband to act to get on with your life. Start now! Seek the guidance of His Spirit and His leading as to where you are to go from here. The mail will come, and the day will come and go, but this should never be the reason not to seek what He has for you at this moment. If you turn it all over to Him, and not take it back, He will give you the peace you seek. Put all this aside and know that He will lead you in His love. Remember, when we have our eyes on Him, then his fruits will flourish in us. When we take our eyes off of Him, then our flesh will flourish.

I understand how this is hard, for I have been through two divorces in the past and my present wife is starting another. The first was easy on me, for I was just a kid and there was no love at all. The second dragged on for years, because I did not want to let go and she did not want to file for I had the kids. Yet, during these two, I was not following God. This one is harder on me, for I am now following the Lord and will not file myself. I don't want this marriage to end either, but if it be because my wife no longer loves me, there is nothing that I can do but to give it to God and move on.

I encourage you strongly to seek His will for you now, not later, and leave your broken heart at the cross.

In His Love,

Alan

Thanks...I just got really down last night and that post was in a desperate cry for help. I did not marry for love, but at the same time, I was willing to make my marriage work. Yesterday was just an especially difficult day.

hmmmm

Going through this is so much harder than I would have imagined. Here I am waiting on the papers to come in the mail for our separation. (In Minnesota I guess you have to be separated first) But anyhow, my husband has completely cut me out of his life. There is no way that I can get a hold of him. I cry at the oddest times and then can't stop. I am filled with so many emotions right now. I am angry, hurt, sad, confused, in shock. I just want the pain to be gone and all of this to be over with so I can get on with my life.

Thank you all for the prayers. Right now I am just leaning on Jesus. I am living with my aunt and uncle and going to church with them. Their church has already shown me so much love. Even the ones who know all of the background. (My aunt works in the church office) Two couples have given me money for clothes which was unexpected. But today I am going to go get my hair cut. The hardest thing to imagine is how Brandon would just cut me out of his life as if the last three and a half years mean nothing to him. But you all are right. It was not a good "church" and I had tried before to leave cause I was seeing stuff that didn't line up with the Word of God. But each time, I just wanted to be with my husband so I ended up staying with the church. Even though our marriage was not a good one, i have never been single in my life. This is the first time for me. And so like I told my Aunt, Jesus is the only man in my life right now and He will be for a long time.

I honestly don't know what to say either. I can't at this time go into a lot of detail because of how emotional it is for me still. But I have been in a very controlling and abusive church. almost cult like from what others have told me. Although I won't go that far. So, I decided to leave. When I came out here to visit family my husband was spending alot of time with his pastors. He called me the night before and told me our marriage was over with and not to bother coming home. Since then, he has taken my name off of everything, cleaned out my bank account, changed his home and cell phone numbers, and not responded to any of my emails. It is very hurtful to think that a person can just up and throw away three years. On top of all this, all through our marriage he has called me horrible names that are not appropriate for me to say on here. I thought I deserved it. This is something I never thought I would encounter but I had no option. I appreciate the prayers. I know some in here are against divorce as I am too, but especially after this week, I have decided to not fight it. I want this over with as quickly as possible. The last thing he said to me was that he doesn't want to speak to me again. This is all I can say for now as I am already in tears.

Hey all,

My husband has decided to leave me. So I am now living in West Virginia so if I am not on much, that is why. Miss you all.

Tina

So I am finally off to see my Grandma before she dies. Thanks to every one who has been praying that this would happen for me the last several months. Six weeks ago I booked the flight and I am off tomorrow morning. I will be back on Wednesday. Love u all!! And will miss u

Tina

thank you so much for sharing

"Winter of the heart" was a term I heard someone use to describe a time on Christian's life when it seems like the connection to out Father is not there, we dont feel it. We know that He will never leave us, but there are times when it feels like He takes away the "feeling" of closeness. We pray, but to seemingly no answears. We read the Bible, but it just doesnt feel the same.

Thats sort of how I've been feeling these past few days. I read the Bible, but it doesnt feel the same. I pray, but it feels like nothing happens. I put on my favorite worship CD, but sometimes it feels like just music. I realize thats its not a normal thing to be that way, and that I am suppose to feel His closeness.

The problem is that this, to the best of my knowledge and as far as I can remember, is the first time I felt like that, so I am sort of taken by surprise and not sure of what to make of it or how to deal with it. Sometimes its feels like all my emotions are dimmed and I cant seem to express them as well as I used to. The scary part if that sometimes if feels that the only way I hang on still is by KNOWING in my mind that God is there and if I care about what He cares. I realize that if the Holy Spirit was not with me still I wouldnt care about God or Bible or praying, so thats the good news that keep my going. And I am sure there are people that pray for me.

So, I guess whatever the "winter of the heart" is, I am feeling it these days and I am not sure what to make of it, or how to deal with it.

So, yeah, any help would be great.

I am right there with you right now...

THanks Vickilynn for the prayers...It has been an up and down battle cause I know my body is the temple of God, yet I will do good for a while just to fall right back into it...

Shalom Anne,

Don't let anyone condemn you Sister. The L-rd is your strength, rest in Him and let Him take control of this area. Please know that Jesus understands the struggle that you go through and He can help you overcome it. I pray that the L-rd will intervene!

I try not to...but I get alot of condemnation from people in my church...again thanks for prayers..

Tina

Happy New Year to you too...but it is only 8:40 am on New Year's Eve here...

I really respect your decision and it is one that you will be blessed with.

THanks Vickilynn for the prayers...It has been an up and down battle cause I know my body is the temple of God, yet I will do good for a while just to fall right back into it...

If you could go back and choose an era to live in (besides Jesus' time! ) what would it be?

I would love to have lived in in the 40's and 50's. It seemed like America's golden age. The only sex you saw on the screen was a romantic kiss...the worse curse word you heard was "damn" (Gone with the Wind)...and NOBODY took their clothes off!

When family was the ideal, when parents, teachers, and all authority were respected. The worse violence in school was running in the halls. (The only "school shootings" were rubber bands and spit wads). When families ate dinner together (at one table!) and you didn't even have to lock your doors at night! When Sundays wern't for hangovers, but for Church.

When kids actually played outside without any video games, iPods, computers, or cell phones to distract them. When children read books, instead of staring at a glowing screen.

When cartoons were actual cartoons, and not just commercials for toys. Or steeped in sexual inuendo.

When children were allowed to be children, and not forced to grow up so fast. When you were still a "kid" until you got married.

When brides wore white, and most could pull it off.

When people actually respected and admired their President. When you had real stars like John Wayne, with not a Paris Hilton type to be found.

When it actually took talent to write a song, and not just a beat laden piece of filler whose lyrics are 90% "Yo Yo Yo."

*sigh*

Either the same as you or I would even go back to the late 1800s

Shalom,

This is a spin-off from a thread about Narcissism and whether that is a physical or spiritual condition.

My topic here deals with a wider range of mental illnesses and what should be our Biblical response to A CHRISTIAN with a mental illness and they display sinful, selfish and even destructive behavior.

Do we blame them?

Do we condemn them?

Do we accuse them?

Do we shun them?

Do we treat them as unrepentant sinners?

OR

Do we love them?

Bear with them?

Forgive them?

Help them get more of Jesus, the Word, prayer?

Tell them the truth of what they are doing? (most are unaware and if they are aware, they are usually unable to stop the behavior)

Do we try to help them by being patient with them, even when their behavior hurts us or damages us?

Do we love them as Jesus loves them and tells us to love them?

My friends, I have first-hand experience dealing with Christians with mental illness and have seen what some Christians do with their judgment and condemnation. I believe that is NOT the Biblical response.

Ask yourself, should Christians treat Christians with mental illness any differently than a Christian with any OTHER type of illness, say diabetes or cancer?

Sometimes, the cause of the person's mental illness is physical / chemical. Sometimes it is spiritual. Sometimes it is a combination. The point is, as with all things, we cannot see the person's heart, only their actions and if we judge them to be unrepentant sinners when in fact, they have a chemical imbalance and need medication, we are wrongly judging them.

I believe we need to love these people and try (if we are able) to get them help. If they are saved and know Jesus, we should help them get into the Word and a regular prayer life with accountability.

Perhaps Christian counseling and/or medication may help.

Most of all, WE Christians need to love them and bear with them, not turn our backs on them, shun them or accuse them of being unrepentant sinners. G-d knows the heart, we don't. Our responsibility is to love.

Matthew 22:

36"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" 37And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

I am going to be upfront here..I have struggled with an eating disorder on and off for several months now. I have lost my best friend due to it and I have had the question thrown at me that if I really loved God and was secure in my faith, I wouldn't struggle with this...well guess what? I do love God and I am thankful for what He has done in my life, but yes I still struggle with this. Today I ate the first actual meal in about two and a half weeks. and God has sent a wonderful person in my life to help me who has been through this and she is a Christian. So yes, in answer to your question, we need to love them as Christ would.

Wether or not those children were conceived in sin, God can still use those children in incredible ways! There is a saying, 'What Satan intends for evil, God intends for good!'

I totally agree. My sister got pregnant in high and it was her first time ever. But Kaylee (her daughter, my niece) is the biggest blessing to our family. And even though the father took off, my sister's best friend stepped up to the plate, married her, and adopted Kaylee. They now have a son that was born 11 months after Kaylee and have another one on the way. God has taken that situation and truly turned it around for good.

I wanted to add however, if she doesn't feel it is a sin, she is setting a bad example for her children to where they will think premarital sex is ok. I personally have seen the damage that premarital sex and adultery does to you. My husband was the first man I did not sleep with until we were married. I am so thankful for that. We have to call sin for what it is and stop beating around the bush. I have been guilty of doing this myself. I do agree that she may still have trials, but that child is NOT a mistake. God has a plan and destiny for those children.

Hi Damo,

While I agree with you to an extent...we are going to disagree at times. Yes we must disagree in love. However, with all the denominations we will not be in perfect unity until Heaven. I think the important thing is to just love each other that God wishes we would do. Even with our differences, we can still make a difference in the world. I hope you have a merry Christmas.

http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/007/smith-oprah.htm

I couldn't even read the whole thing. It made me sick to my stomach to see how bad this is..I will never watch Oprah again.

Since I live in Texas I was appalled to wake up to cold weather this morning! It's going to be down in the twenties tonight. Then I started thinking 'maybe I ought to be glad it's only in the twenties'; I sometimes forget that, though we are blessed with warm weather here most of the year, most of the country is not. I'm curious to know the temperature where the rest of you are...........???

It is in the teens here right now

I also want to wish everyone a merry Christmas!!! Thanks for being a family to me

ABC News' "Match-O-Matic is up and running.

Answer questions to find out whose politics closely match yours. Then find out who are the top 3 candidates for you.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/page?id=3623346

Mine were:

1) Huckabee

2) Romney

3) Guliani

Looks like I'm going to have to start paying more attention to what Huckabee's saying out there.

I didnt like that at all..I like McCain, Huckabee, and thompson!!! i may disagree with republicans on certain issues and some I don't know anything about..but I am against abortion and marriage is between a man and woman only and that is why I vote republican...don't want a mormon in office and I don't want a democrat that is dressed up as a republican in office...these are just my thoughts...don't mean to start anything...so please just respect my wishes

I think we shouldn't take it that seriously. Y'know? Like i dont really like to hear the "F" word all the time, so i choose to watch shows with minimal language or minimal use of it. But i dont think that the "F" bomb is harmful, its just abrasive. Same with Sarah Silverman. She's hilarious. I think when people do God jokes or Jesus jokes, its funny.

Why?

Because i dont think God cares. If he really, honestly cared he'd probably do something about it.

Shalom Thoughtful,

May I ask in all sincerity, are you serious about this?

I am 110% serious about this. God made us in his image. This does not mean only in the physical sense. I'm sure God has a sense of humor, an ability to shrug stuff off, an ability to laugh, to feel anger, to be indifferent.

God gave us free will, which means he promised, in giving us free will, to allow us to do certain things. If he were just a fraction as offended as some Christians are by the mockery on TV, he would probably do something to stop us. But he wont. Im sure God could laugh at things like Bruce Almighty, or feel indifferent to things like Sarah Silverman.

But he probably doesnt. Why? Because he doesnt care. God is not watching every person on this earth for the sole purpose of seeing whether they're "bad or good". He's not marking down that Sarah Silverman made some awful joke about him. And he's not counting the people who laughed.

He

Dosent

Care.

And why should he? He's God. Do you think that he puts in as much concern for televised entertainment as he does for third world issues? No. If some Christians get offended, then they shouldn't watch it. If some don't, then the one's who are offended shouldn't judge them for it.

Alas, some Christians wouldn't be able to go on breathing if they couldnt judge SOMEONE for SOMETHING, whatever those two may be.

Shalom Thoughtful,

I am sorry, but these statements are not Scriptural. Please prove that G-d doesn't CARE about what is said about Him.

I believe the Scriptures indicate that G-d hears every word, thought and cares very much what we think about and say about Him. He is HOLY. He isn't a joke. Even His Name is Holy! How dare we, or anyone, treat the Almighty as a joke and think it's OK?

Exodus 20

You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

1 Peter 1

4 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

Thank you..amen I also wanted to add that the reason God does not change it is because then He would be violating our free will...I agree with Vickilynn that this is mockery of our Lord and Savior.

I want to ride on a dinosoar!!! hmmm...