bondservantofchrist

At some point, she is going to be willing to receive a hand up and not just a hand out. Our Pastor's Pastor once told a man who came often for help: "If you want my money, you must be willing to hear my message." Then he would go on to share with him God's way of dealing with finances. If there was not a willingness to hear, there was no hand out.

Starling, the King greatly desires your beauty. I truly believe that loving ourselves cannot take place without knowing how very much Father loves us just like we are. He loves us as and where we are but that love won't leave us where we are. He wants to so renew your mind to His mind that the things that trouble you so greatly are nothing but a buried past that went into the tomb when the body of Jesus did. The enemy works in the gap between what we think and what God thinks. The only One who stood in that gap is Jesus and His works defeated the enemy. Read Psalm 45 and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you from that Psalm. It is my favorite. Now, for the boyfriend. I would be looking for Christ in him now and not wait until the ring is on the finger. The husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might cleanse and sanctify her by the washing of the water of the word. Cleansing comes by way of a death to self, no matter how right one may think he/she is. To truly love you as God does, he would be willing to lay aside anything that he knows hurts you, no matter how insignificant it seems to him. As a matter of fact, this should be as major to him as it is to you until you have found the place of rest for all the past. I love the fact that you are so open to change, even if it means you are uncomfortable. And finding out who you are in Christ can make this about nothing more than your simple conviction that watching them sows ungodly seed that can be watered to maturity.

"You can add as many "and one more thing"s as you want it gave me a laugh which I needed because she mentioned it again this morning as I was cleaning. I think that is one thing that bothers me most is when I've just finished cleaning and it hasn't gotten bad yet and while I'm in the middle of cleaning for her to come and say "I'm glad you decided to clean before we are expecting a house guest." Maybe it's just me but it sounds like an insult instead of a compliment especially with the tone of voice she used. Immediately, I had no energy to continue, and felt like, every time I am at an emotional high she's got to come behind me and knock me down." Snort! You know what the precursor to the shouting match was? I was getting ready to start cleaning, just doing some last minute packing and, just before I started out of the living room and into the kitchen, my mother took the opportunity during a conversation with her to tell me that my kids were just like I was when I was younger.....that I never would clean my room...and I didn't like her tone of voice. That did it! I had given way too much occasion to the enemy by meditating and that one little comment sent me over the roof. It bugged me a lot to have it confirmed that her image of me was rooted in some past failure on my part as a child. It made no matter to her that I was a grown woman and mother now and that I was no longer the child with a messy room that she remembered. She told my husband during our stay that I wouldn't even talk to her. Well, yeah...every time I did, I got an inquisition......so I started keeping myself and my youngest children in the room we slept in. And the day we left....went to talk with her and all I got was a bunch of reminders of how sorry I was as a child in regards to cleaning my room. To tell you the truth (and my heavenly Father knows it too), I don't care much for having a conversation with someone who can't leave my past out of it and see me for who I am now. Because of her vision of me, she couldn't even see "clean" no matter how much I did. Even the top to bottom cleaning I did while she was on vacation never got one thank you. All I ever heard her say was to someone on the phone and all she could give me was an "at least it smells good". What????!!!!! When I wasn't mad, I was crying my eyes out...and I'm 42. One Sunday morning, there were some dishes in the sink and she mentioned it to my husband. My husband, being the sweetie he is, did them because I was busy fixing Autumn's hair for church and finishing getting ready myself. My mom got mad that he did them and told him that it was "my job". From that point on, she never said anything to him about dishes in the sink. She would wait until I came out and say something just so he wouldn't do them and I would have to. And it didn't matter if waiting on me to do them would cause us to run late. She loved to see me sweat it trying to please her. One day she told us to be out at the end of the week so I spent the day before that Saturday packing, washing, cleaning, moving stuff to our van. I was literally worn out by the time my husband got home. And when he got there, she told him that we could stay another month. I had been there ALL DAY and she never told me we could stay. I was so mad I could have spit but my husband just gave me that smile and defused the bomb before it went off. That's the Christ in him and he is the only person on the face of the earth who can do that. I fizzle out real fast when I get that look and that smile. He doesn't even have to say anything, doggone it!

Another one more thing....your vision of yourself needs to line up with Father God's vision of you. You began your post with "I am absolutely terrible at keeping the house clean". You might want to check with Him about that. I am sure He has something more uplifting and encouraging to say about you

One more thing: begin every day with thanksgiving. Invite the Lord into this area and expect Him to manage your time. He is better at it than you are. My husband brought things into clear focus for me after I had that shouting match with my mother. He asked me if I was going to talk to her before we left. I said I was but continued to try to justify myself and accuse her. My husband, after listening to me rant and rave for several moments, said, "You know, I would do anything to have my mother here like you have yours." He had just lost his mother to cancer back in December, two days before her birthday. That kinda brought things back to reality for me. He's good at that.

My goodness....I know exactly what you are going through. My family (all seven of us) just moved out of my mother's home last month after six months. She is 72 (I think) and had been alone with the exception of her dog since my father passed away. We went through the same thing, except I did everything she asked me to do and then some. It just seemed like I could never do enough or do well enough what I did do. She even, at one time, claimed that she had to go behind me and redo everything I did. I knew that wasn't true but it was to her. And we didn't pull out Nintendos or anything like that. I was never thanked one time for anything but there was a host of complaints to my husband and to everybody else about my housekeeping...or the lack thereof. And I did a top to bottom house cleaning job on it when she went on vacation. You know, it wouldn't have been so bad if her own housekeeping excelled my own, but it didn't. Just in case anyone would think that my housekeeping was payment for staying there...no, it wasn't. Our payment for staying there was to pay the electric bill and an outrageous water bill the likes I have never seen in my entire life. You do have to realize that when you have excelled in what you have done and there is still complaint, then the fact of the matter is that the complainer is just looking for a reason to complain and will pick up on everything that hasn't been done and nothing that has been. I have one piece of sage advice......don't give place to the devil by meditating on her dissatisfaction. That will only drag you down and affect your relationship with her. As much as is in you, live at peace with her because this is difficult for all involved. My own situation ended in a shouting match the day we left...with me ending up humbling myself to ask my mother's forgiveness before I could pull out of the driveway. The best way for a relationship to be restored is for it to never be broken. Stay in touch with your heavenly Father during this time. The Holy Spirit can keep you one step ahead of your mother if you will listen to Him. Many of the times I got the most flack was when the Holy Spirit showed me what to do before my mother said anything...and I didn't do it. Even though we had a horrible shouting match and accusations flew all over the place our last day in her house, I did not fail to clean that house one more time before we left....and I did it in pure love with the presence of God carrying me from room to room. I vacuumed, swept, mopped, dusted, did dishes, stripped beds, washed sheets and comforters, and remade beds. I left nothing out of place and was as blameless before her as I was before my Father in heaven. Whatever you do, don't permit meditation on this to become a root of bitterness that will spring up and defile many. And don't permit her vision of you to define who you are. I speak from experience.

Hi Yahwehsdaughter You need wisdom and discernment in this matter because her motive for wanting to know may be well disquised as concern for you. I have trusted people before who seemed to be concerned only to have what I said used as the arrows for their bow. None of their concern resulted in any kind of help or encouragement but instead to much sorrow and heartache for far more people than were originally involved. These kinds of things tend to spiral out of control very quickly. Our first reaction when we are hurt is to tell someone else so that we can be comforted. At any rate, calling you disloyal and unfair sounds like the accuser to me instead of the comforter and is earthly, demonic, sensual wisdom in the form of manipulation for self-interest. If she uses anything you share with her as ammunition, she stumbles and possibly causes others to stumble, particularly if she is looking for justification for her hatred.

Just that were both commitmentphobes so thers a lot of ugliness in between. See, I told you that the problem was what was in between. When who we are is in between, there is a problem called "I, me, my, and mine". When Jesus is in the midst, there is no problem Both walking toward Him brings the union of both in Him and makes all one.

"This guy I've known for 9 years now. We have been on again and off again for the 9 years. Long history, lots of back and forth and him leaving and me leaving and him being with other girls, yada yada... Sometimes we would stop talking all together." I surmise that somewhere between "yada, yada" and "sometimes we would stop talking all together" is some information that would solve the whole problem.

Rachel, the key to the book of Revelation is right over the door. It is the first five words of the book: The Revelation of Jesus Christ..... The word 'revelation' means 'unveiling' or 'uncovering'. The whole book is written in signs that point to the person and work of Christ in a people who grow up into His image. The language of Revelation comes from the Tabernacle of Moses where there is a lampstand, altars, a seat of rest (mercy seat), a table with bread and wine on it, a laver, incense, and an ark. When John turns to see the voice that spoke to him, he saw one in the midst of the candlestick (a part of the Tabernacle). If he turned to see the voice, then that means he was facing the Table of Showbread and feeding on the two stacks of bread and the wine there before he turned around. It was what he was feeding on (the broken body and the blood of the Lord Jesus) that caused him to hear the voice and then turn to see the voice. We are told that those who read the words and understand the words of this prophecy are blessed, not cursed. If you know who the book is about, it isn't such an enigma. I agree with the person who said that removing the lampstand means that there is no testimony of Christ in that place because the angel of that church left his first love. With no love for Him, the light goes out.