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Hello Everyone, I am starting the process to find a church that I can call home. I live in a big city and there are a lot of churches. Do to the fact that there are so many I have come up with the idea to research online and send a questionnaire to each that may be a potential fit for me and my family. I have come up with the following questions and would like your advice on the questions I have come up with before sending this out. I am not trying to offend anyone, but I do want to get to know them a bit before I visit. Then chose 3-4 churches from the responses to visit over the next few weeks. All thoughts will be appreciated. For those of you who are Pastor's, Preacher's, or Priest's; How would you feel about receiving this? Hello Potential Church Family, I am conducting research to find a church where I may grow in the Spirit and become an active member. There are many churches in this area and I could spend years attending all of them trying to find the right one. Many churches do not have online websites therefore I am asking the same questions to all that I contact. I have made a promise to God that I will attend different churches in the coming weeks. I have researched churches in the area online and your church is one I have chosen to reach out to for more information. Please answer the following questions to assist in finding my home church. These questions are not for judgmental purposes but for me to pray over when choosing a church to visit. 1. What is your doctrine, statement of faith, mission, vision? a. What estimated percentage of your church body follow these? 2. Who are your pastor/s? a. Name b. Sex c. Race d. Place of employment (outside the church), if any e. Role within the church (Lead, Children’s, Women’s, Men’s, etc.) 3. How many elders are in the church? On average how long have they been in attendance? 4. What events do you hold on a weekly/monthly basis? (Sunday morning worship. Wednesday night prayer group? a. How many members/guests typically attend each of these events? b. What is the composition? (various age ranges, sex, race) 5. How many members/guests can your congregation hold at one time? 6. What are your Community Support Ministries/Programs (Prison, Food, Clothing, etc.)? 7. What is the most vexed theological question the church has faced? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome? 8. What is the churches position on the role of women? 9. How does the church practice church discipline? What sort of discipline has been practiced in the past? Please give an example. 10. What is the process of being baptized and becoming a member? 11. How many lives are saved in a typical month? a. What percentage of them are in your congregation 3 months after being saved? 6 months? 12. When an individual is saved in your church what methods/procedures does the church use to support growth in that individual? Does the church take responsibility for the individuals growth? How? 13. Is the church ever locked? When? 14. What is the current practice of communion? How often? 15. Why should I choose your church? Thank You

Yes, there have been times when I felt so close to God that it was as if He was walking with me every day and every where I went. There are other times when things would go very wrong. I would pray for God to help, thanking Him even though I didn't know why this was happening. He always came through in His time. As I look back, I realize it was times when I had drifted that things would go wrong and times when I gave up (on worrying about the issue) that things would go right. But I don't stay close because of fear, I stay close because I like the feeling of His love. I like knowing He is there protecting me and leading me.

Thank you everyone. My understanding somehow got muddled with this and I thought that maybe I was ignoring it. But my understanding is clear again.

This is all reminding me of a psychology class I took in college. Where there are stages of growth. One of the stages is like children they do what is true and right because of fear of punishment if they do not. Some people never come out of this stage. While others do move forward and do right not for fear of what will happen but because it is the moral thing to do.

Thank you, I am going to read about David again it has been a while. That is what I was thinking, but many people misinterpret this word especially when it comes to wives fearing their husbands. Thank you

Ananias and Sapphira lied and died. Which made the people fear for their lives and be obedient. I understand that some may need to fear in order to be obedient but that seems forced, at that point is it truly Free Will? Does one need to be in fear in order to be obedient? Can't love be enough to be obedient without the fear? Is True/Perfect love not enough? Thank you for your responses I greatly appreciate having someone to help me figure this out. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

Years ago, I was in an abusive relationship, this was a physical and emotional fear. Therefore, I have no respect for someone that I fear because of this past. I am trying to put into perspective the differences if there are any.

Fear the Lord? I've read and heard multiple times that we should fear God. However, I've always conversed with Him as a friend, confidant, or advisor out of respect not fear. He tells us in the Bible not to fear, to trust Him and be obedient. But yet, the Bible also tells us that, "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" Psalm 111:10, "fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" Proverbs 1:7, "fear of the Lord is to hate evil" Proverbs 8:13, etc. Fear is the word that is messing with me and I wonder if the translation of this word is accurate. Due to the fact that when I am in fear of someone I do not trust or respect them. Any thoughts will be appreciated.

I left him Dec 06. However our divorce finalized July 1, 08. In the last 6 days I have grieved. I have searched for a way to relieve it, to no avail. I have been angry, scared, confused, and tired. I feel like I wasted 12 years of my life. Was I stupid to think that I could really trust someone not to turn on me? How do you live without someone to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright? I don't know how to support my 3 kids (I haven't worked in 12 years). I have tried to lean on God and trust that he will reach down and save me from this whole that is getting deeper and deeper. But I am starting to wonder if God was the one who sent me where I am job wise. I was so sure that He sent me into this position. With caring and understanding people that wont demand more than I can give. That will be patient for me to learn. The only catch is that the pay comes slow the first year or so. (I have some help from my mother but she is starting to fall to). How am I suppose to support 3 kids with no resume. I refuse to search out a man to take care of me. I feel like I can't trust men especially financially. If I hadn't trusted my ex financially I wouldn't be so lost now. I would have had some experience to fall back on (a resume). I have no one to seek advise from that can hold me and make me feel safe. I was suppose to be safe. He was suppose to keep me safe. Now I have to find my own safety. How do you do that? How does a woman feel safe outside the arms of a man? I feel like I am loosing my mind. I know the grieving process is the same as if someone had died but how do you cope?

Perhaps your husband isn't at home in your church and he was expressing this to his friend prior to you over hearing? As far as your husband going to a different church than you, If he is truly unhappy at your church and you are not willing to try other churches then I would agree that he visit without you. First priority in life is Our Lord Jesus Second priority is your spouse If your husbands first priority isn't met then all of his other prioritys will fall to peices. Try to support him in his journey to truly find and walk with Jesus. That is just a guess. You really need to speak to your husband about this.

Wow I've been out of town and without internet I come back and ya'll have given me much to think about. Thank you all for your suggestions and input. I will read and reread until I find the Lord speaking through me. Instead of me trying to speak through him. I will try this week to listen carefully, don't interupt, and think about what Jesus would say before I speak.

I like that one. Patience is not usually a problem for me. It's the restraint part that sometimes throws me for a loop. What a great example. The older I get, the less I talk. As with any of our freedoms, it is not just about "is it allowable", but "does it edify" -- another way of saying - is it necessary. There is some small talk and games that may seem "unnecessary", but are actually helping building the relationship by tearing down walls; so this is not always easy to discern. 1 Corinthians 10:23

kind and true is easy enough I think the necessary is the part I'm having trouble with. I will have to keep that one in mind.

The only time you shouldn't speak is if what you want to say has sinful intentions (like cursing at someone) or if it would offend another Christian. Just pray about it I have been praying about it and I will continue to pray about it because I feel like I goof almost everyday. I do that because I'm afraid I'm going to forget what I was going to say before the other person finishes. I am also guilty and in turn I miss what the other person is saying. I do notice when I goof so I am praying with time I will get better.

I find myself in a pickle alot of the time trying to figure out if I should speak or keep my mouth shut. Can anyone give me some common sense basics? Thanks