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LOS ANGELES (Worthy Satire) – City officials held a heartfelt press conference Monday, pausing between counting stacks of overtime paychecks, to extend their deepest gratitude to the rioters, looters, and arsonists who have turned the City of Angels into the City of Time-and-a-Half. “We couldn’t have done it without you,” said LAPD Chief Bud E. Payday, wiping away a tear while holding up his $500,000 overtime check. “Every smashed window, every burning car, every looted Target — that’s another officer’s kid through college. You’ve really brought this community together. In 12-hour shifts.” City accountants confirmed that the $1.1 billion in overtime paid in 2024 not only boosted morale but also fueled the local economy. “We’ve seen record sales at Rolex, Gucci, and Tesla,” said Budget Director Ima Broke. “Mainly from the people protecting the stores, not the ones robbing them.” Meanwhile, activists demanded that the city do more to provide opportunities. In response, City Council members are considering subsidizing “starter riot kits” to help young people break into the industry — literally. Rumors abound that L.A. will soon trademark its new tourism slogan: Come for the beaches, stay for the chaos. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a dramatic announcement on state television, Iranian officials declared they had successfully launched a precision missile strike on what they identified as the “main headquarters of the Zionist Mossad”. The celebratory broadcast included grainy footage of what appeared to be a warehouse in the Negev Desert collapsing in a cloud of dust. However, security analysts around the world greeted the news with a collective shrug. “There’s really no strategic loss here,” said one Israeli intelligence source, speaking on condition of anonymity while sipping espresso in a Tehran café. “Frankly, most of the Mossad’s workforce is already embedded in Iran—running kebab shops, driving taxis, and apparently, directing the next season of Tehran.” Iran’s Revolutionary Guard proudly displayed wreckage from the missile strike, claiming it as proof of their military’s technological prowess. Critics, however, pointed out that the footage looked suspiciously like recycled clips from a failed rocket test and an old episode of MacGyver. Meanwhile, reports surfaced that the alleged Mossad HQ targeted by Iran was actually a decoy facility, primarily used for storing outdated fax machines and a single 1998 Pentium desktop. “This is like hitting a scarecrow and declaring victory in battle,” remarked a Western diplomat. “But hey, if it makes them feel better, who are we to argue?” In related news, Israeli officials have reportedly ordered extra shawarma supplies in downtown Tehran, citing “operational needs.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

VATICAN CITY (Worthy Satire) – In a shocking break from centuries of papal neutrality in sports, newly elected Pope Leo XIV — known before his election as Father Tony “South Side” Lombardo — declared at his first Sunday address that enduring perpetual defeat builds “unshakable moral character.” Wearing a custom White Sox mitre emblazoned with the team’s 2025 record (18-97 and counting), His Holiness addressed tens of faithful pilgrims and disillusioned baseball fans gathered in St. Peter’s Square. “Blessed are those who lose in the ninth after blowing a six-run lead,” said Pope Leo XIV, quoting what he claimed was a long-lost beatitude. “For theirs is the kingdom of resilience, cheap beer, and rebuilding seasons.” Vatican insiders say the Pope has already petitioned MLB to add “offering up daily humiliations” as an official statistic. Meanwhile, Cardinals (not the St. Louis kind) are debating whether supporting the Sox counts as penance or outright martyrdom. In related news, the Holy See announced a new papal encyclical: Exultate in Erroribus: On Finding Joy in Botched Double Plays. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

LOS ANGELES (Worthy Satire) – In a tragic tale of modern injustice, dozens of Los Angeles looters are reportedly grappling with “severe emotional distress” after realizing the iPhones they heroically liberated during a recent smash-and-grab spree are completely useless, thanks to Apple’s cruel anti-theft technology. “I risked my life dodging glass shards, security alarms, and a slightly annoyed store clerk, only to be betrayed by Tim Cook personally,” sobbed one masked looter, who now identifies as an “unwilling product tester.” Sources confirm that upon powering up their new devices, looters were met with chilling messages like “Please return to Apple Store”, “This device has been disabled”, and “Nice try.” Legal experts say a class-action lawsuit is already being considered, arguing that Apple’s actions amount to “entrapment.” “We were promised top-of-the-line smartphones,” said a spokesperson for the informal Looters Union Local 213. “Instead, we got overpriced paperweights. Where’s the justice in that?” Meanwhile, Apple declined to comment, but insiders report the company is quietly working on a new feature: a custom ringtone that blares “Crime Don’t Pay (Remix)” on loop every time a stolen iPhone is activated — because sometimes, the phone has to spell it out. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Numbers 23:24 Look, a people rises like a lioness, And lifts itself up like a lion; It shall not lie down until it devours the prey, And drinks the blood of the slain. The day before Israel launched Operation Rising Lion, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stood before the ancient stones of the Western Wall and placed a prayer in its crevices. He chose Numbers 23:24—a verse that declares a timeless truth: God calls Israel and His people everywhere to rise with strength, purpose, and courage, no matter what challenges they face. The image of the lioness rising and the lion standing tall is a heavenly call to action: to stay alert, be courageous, and lead with boldness. God’s people are not meant to shrink back in fear, but to stand in faith. And here’s the greater truth: the Lion of Judah lives inside you. His Spirit empowers you not to cower or stay silent, but to roar—proclaiming salvation through Yeshua (Jesus), the coming Kingdom, and the soon return of the King. Just as Israel rose in Operation Rising Lion, so must we—not in our strength, but in His. Now is the time to wake up, shake off spiritual slumber, and stand firm for truth in a world drowning in confusion. This is not just a word for a nation—it’s God’s call to you. In every trial and moment of uncertainty, rise with the courage and the strength of the lion—alert, bold, and ready in God’s power, knowing the Lion of Judah goes before you as your Defender, Deliverer, and King. Now is the time to rise and roar! View the full article

LOS ANGELES (Worthy Satire) – As towering infernos lit up the Los Angeles skyline and looters sprinted from designer boutiques with armfuls of “redistributed justice,” anchors at CNN and MSNBC assured viewers that what they were witnessing was, in fact, a heartwarming display of mostly peaceful activism. “We’re seeing powerful scenes of unity tonight,” said one MSNBC correspondent, standing in front of a burning police cruiser as sirens wailed in the distance. “The glow you see behind me isn’t destruction—it’s the fiery passion of a community demanding change.” CNN, eager to outdo their competitors in positivity, unveiled a custom graphic labeling the events as a “Festival of Peace and Minor Property Damage.” The network’s chyron read: “Citywide BBQ for Social Justice Continues.” When asked about the flames consuming entire city blocks, one CNN panelist explained, “Let’s not focus on the one percent of demonstrations where buildings are engulfed. Let’s celebrate the 99 percent of protesters who are expressing themselves with chants, signs, and carefully curated Instagram stories.” Eyewitnesses reported scenes that included impromptu redistribution of wealth from electronics stores, community-driven window-breaking workshops, and a grassroots movement to test the limits of local fire departments. One MSNBC analyst praised the crowd’s creativity: “Who knew a Molotov cocktail could be such a beautiful metaphor for systemic change? The flickering flames remind us of the light we’re seeking at the end of the tunnel.” Meanwhile, local officials urged calm, announcing a new city slogan: “Los Angeles: Where Every Riot is an Opportunity for Renewal.” They also unveiled a pilot program to reclassify arson as “climate-neutral urban renewal.” As the sun rose over the smoldering remains of downtown, CNN’s morning show opened with upbeat coverage: “Day 3 of America’s most peaceful uprising—let’s check in on today’s forecast: sunny with a chance of enlightenment.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light. When we read the Beatitudes, we catch a glimpse of Yeshua’s heart and the values that define His Kingdom. His words unveil the kind of life that God calls blessed—marked by humility, mercy, purity of heart, a hunger for righteousness, peacemaking, and faithful endurance in the face of suffering. But to fully grasp the contrast between heaven and earth, we must also look at the flip side. Only by considering the opposites of the Beatitudes can we truly see how far humanity has fallen from God’s design. Pride replaces the poor in spirit. Arrogance takes the place of meekness. The world chases pleasure rather than weeping over sin. Instead of hungering for righteousness, the self-satisfied boast they need nothing. And rather than rejoicing when persecuted for truth’s sake, the world strikes back — demanding justice for behaviors once rightly called sin. The very air we breathe is thick with self-interest, and our culture doesn’t merely tolerate it — it celebrates it and even sanctifies it as virtue. Yet into this broken and upside-down world, Yeshua speaks a better word—so pure, so radically different, it sounds like it comes from another realm altogether. And that’s because it does. His words are not shaped by opinion or cultural wisdom; they flow from divine authority. When He declares, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,” He isn’t offering a poetic ideal—He is proclaiming eternal truth. In a world that prizes power, pride, and self-promotion, Yeshua exalts meekness as the path to blessing and lasting inheritance. Among His most powerful invitations are these words: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” The One who blesses the meek does not stand far off—He embodies meekness Himself. And in calling us to walk in it, He offers us what the world can never give: true rest. Yeshua offers more than a break from activity — He provides rest for the soul. He doesn’t invite us to strive harder, climb higher, or perform better. He invites us to take His yoke–gentle, humble, and anchored in meekness. Meekness is not weakness — it is power restrained and strength brought under the authority of God. The truly meek may walk with confidence and courage, yet they have surrendered the relentless need to defend themselves or seek recognition. They are no longer striving for the world’s applause, but have found peace in God’s presence alone: in themselves, they are nothing; in Him, they have everything. Yeshua offers freedom from the relentless weight of ego—the constant pressure to be seen, admired, and validated. But when we take on His meekness, we step into a ew kind of freedom: the freedom to stop comparing, competing, or pretending. The meek, like little children, live with simplicity and sincerity, unbothered by status or recognition, and fully content to walk in truth. This is the path to soul rest. Peace will never be found in climbing higher, shining brighter, or striving harder. True rest isn’t found in exalting yourself–it’s found in surrendering before the Lord. When you lay down your pride, release your need to be seen, and lose yourself in the greatness of Yeshua, you’ll discover the rest your soul has craved all along. So come. Let go of the pressure to perform, the fear of being overlooked, the weight of comparison, and image. Embrace His yoke–the yoke of meekness, quiet strength, and full surrender. Walk with Yeshua, the One who is meek and lowly in heart, and find the rest that no success, status, or applause can offer. Not just momentary relief, but deep, soul-satisfying rest–rooted in His presence, anchored in His peace, and carried by His strength. This is His promise. This is His invitation. Choose it–and embrace it. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a devastating blow to the fast food industry, McDonald’s shares took a nosedive this week after analysts downgraded the company–citing the rise of weight-loss drugs that are apparently more appealing than a hot, greasy Big Mac and a side of existential regret. “We used to fight off diet fads with sheer determination and extra cheese,” said one executive through a mouthful of cold fries. “But now people are choosing a once-a-week injection over our world-famous, life-shortening comfort food. It’s unnatural.” Drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy are skyrocketing in popularity, with one insider admitting, “People just don’t feel hungry anymore.” Wall Street quickly translated that as, “People aren’t ordering fries anymore.” The shift has left McDonald’s in crisis. Internal memos suggest new menu ideas including: The “McPlacebo”: a wrapper with nothing inside, but still 400 calories somehow. The “Slim Mac”: half the burger, twice the guilt. And the “Not Lovin’ It” combo, featuring a napkin and a quiet cry. Meanwhile, Ronald McDonald has reportedly entered a deep identity crisis. “If people aren’t binge-eating out of stress, what am I even here for?” he asked from the corner of a Planet Fitness parking lot. In related news, shares of kale futures remain unchanged. No one’s that desperate. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Hebrews 11:8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out into a place which he was afterward going to receive for an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he went. We often celebrate beginnings—new chapters, breakthroughs, divine appointments. But in God’s economy, every true beginning requires a holy crossing. Before the Hebrews could enter the Promised Land, they had to leave Egypt. Before they entered the Promised Land, they had to cross over the Red Sea. And before Abraham could receive God’s promises, he had to obey a single command: “Leave.” Abraham stood at that threshold. When he obeyed God’s call to walk away from his homeland, his security, and all that was familiar, he became the first Hebrew—the first Ivri, literally one who crosses over. He stepped across the invisible boundary between the known and the unknown, the natural and the supernatural, the seen and that which was promised. The identity of God’s people is rooted in crossing: from unbelief to faith, from bondage to freedom, from death to life. God didn’t just call Abraham to a destination—He called him to a transformation. And transformation begins when we say goodbye to what’s behind. Leaving is not just an act of trust—it is a declaration of faith in the unseen. It’s Abraham turning his back on everything familiar—his land, his family, his future plans—to follow a voice, a promise, a God he could not see. It’s the Hebrews standing at the edge of the Red Sea, with Pharaoh’s army closing in behind them and nothing but water before them—yet stepping forward, believing that the God who delivered them once would make a way again. Leaving is the willingness to let go before you see what’s coming next. It’s choosing to release your grip on the known in exchange for the eternal. It’s not a loss—it’s a surrender that leads to something greater. Think about the disciples. Their journey with Yeshua (Jesus) didn’t begin with great sermons or miracles. It began when they dropped their nets. They left their boats, their routines, their comfort zones—and followed Him. Without leaving, there would have been no following. Without the exit, no entrance. It’s not just a principle of geography. It’s a paradox of the Kingdom. How often do we pray for a breakthrough while clinging to what God is asking us to release? We want resurrection, but resist the cross. We want the Promised Land, but won’t leave our Egypt. Yet, the exodus is not punishment—it’s preparation. God doesn’t just take things away—He delivers us from what no longer fits our future, so He can place in our hands what was always meant to be ours. He strips away what cannot stay, to make room for what cannot be shaken. What He asks you to release is never greater than what He’s preparing to give. Perhaps for you, it’s a mindset that needs to be left behind, a fear that has kept you stuck, or a comfort zone that has become a cage. “Crossing over” means trusting that what God is leading you toward is greater than what He’s asking you to leave behind. What lies ahead with Him always outweighs what’s left behind. It’s believing the Promised Land ahead is worth every Egypt that’s left behind. It’s choosing, like Abraham, to become one who crosses over. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a shocking twist that has left the diabetic community fizzing with rage, the FDA has issued an urgent recall of Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar after discovering the beverage may, in fact, contain more sugar than a Texas state fair funnel cake. According to internal reports, the problem began when factory workers at a bottling plant in Waco, Texas, accidentally filled “Zero Sugar” cans with original Dr. Pepper during an afternoon of “flavor testing” and “just seeing what happens.” “We deeply regret this mix-up,” said one Dr. Pepper spokesperson, nervously sipping water. “We thought the ‘Zero’ was just a marketing term. Like ‘gluten-free water’ or ‘smart TVs.’ We didn’t think people took it literally.” The FDA became suspicious after a wave of confused diabetics reported sudden sugar spikes and a mysterious compulsion to sing 23 catchy ingredients in a row. “I thought I was being healthy,” said one disgruntled fan. “Turns out I was riding a corn syrup tsunami with a label that lied to me.” In response to the scandal, Dr. Pepper has promised to relabel the product as “Dr. Pepper Sugar Roulette” and include a complimentary glucometer in every six-pack. Meanwhile, Coca-Cola released a statement assuring customers that Diet Coke still tastes like sadness, and therefore must be safe. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In an unexpected side effect of Nintendo’s fastest-selling console launch in history, hospitals nationwide are reporting a sharp rise in go-kart injuries—mostly from players who thought drifting in real life worked just like it does in Mario Kart. The Nintendo Switch 2, which sold over 5 million units in its first week, has apparently inspired legions of fans to take their racing skills from screen to street—or rather, to the local go-kart tracks. The result? A dramatic increase in banana peel-related slip-ups, green shell disputes, and one man reportedly attempting to launch a blue turtle shell at a 12-year-old who passed him in the final lap. “We’ve never had this many sprained ankles and crushed egos in one weekend,” said a spokesperson from the National Association of Go-Kart Safety. “And for the record, tossing mushrooms at other drivers is not a speed boost.” Nintendo declined to comment, but an internal memo allegedly warned developers against releasing a real-life version of Rainbow Road, citing “liability concerns and a complete lack of guardrails.” One hospital ER doctor summed it up best: “They come in dressed like Mario, but they leave feeling like Waluigi.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

John 14:2-3 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, so that where I am, you may be also. 2 Corinthians 5:1 For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. When the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness for forty years, they traversed a rugged, unpredictable landscape — mile after mile of mountains, valleys, rocks, and desert sands — as they journeyed from slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land. They didn’t build homes or cities along the way. They lived in tents, always ready to move when God gave the word. Their lives were shaped by transition — constant change, daily dependence, and unwavering trust in the Lord’s leading. And that, friends, holds a powerful truth for us today: this life is a journey, not a final stop. We are not home yet. We are travelers, passing through on our way to the place Yeshua (Jesus) Himself has gone ahead to prepare. Paul echoes this hope in 2 Corinthians 5:1: “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” Everything in this life–each season, trial, joy, or sorrow–is temporary. It’s part of the wilderness we pass through as we move toward something better, something eternal. Like the Israelites, we move from one phase of life to another. Childhood, youth, adulthood, and old age–each is like a tent we live in for a time. Our moments of success and seasons of struggle, the highs and lows–they all come and go. Even our bodies, Scripture reminds us, are like tents–fragile, temporary, not meant to last forever. So what does this mean for us? It means we should not get too comfortable with this world. This isn’t where we settle. We are pilgrims, called to walk by faith, not by what we see, but by what we know is coming–“the things which are not seen… for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). Whatever season you’re in right now–whether joyful or painful–remember, it’s not forever. One day, every tent will be taken down. And for those who belong to Him, there is a permanent home waiting — a mansion built by God, not with human hands, but eternal in the heavens. So I urge you today: live like a traveler, not a settler. Don’t anchor your heart to what won’t last — whether possessions, status, or fleeting seasons of life. Hold loosely to this world and tightly to your calling. Fix your eyes on the eternal. Travel light. Walk with purpose. Stay ready. Because this world is not your home–you’re only passing through. And soon–sooner than we think–the One who went ahead to prepare a place for you will return again to bring you home. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – Environmental activist Greta Thunberg made headlines this week after claiming she was “kidnapped” by the Israeli Defense Forces during a protest near the Gaza border. However, eyewitnesses and leaked footage tell a different story — one that includes vegan meals, complimentary Wi-Fi, and bedtime stories in three languages. “They dragged me into a climate-controlled room,” Thunberg recounted on her livestream. “And then… they gave me a gluten-free meal and asked if I preferred lavender or chamomile tea. The horror.” “It was terrifying,” she sobbed. “They gave me warm socks and herbal tea without even asking my pronouns.” An IDF spokesperson confirmed her brief detainment, saying, “Yes, Ms. Thunberg was taken into custody for trespassing in a restricted zone. Per standard protocol, she was offered food, a blanket, and an iPad with nature documentaries. At no point was she harmed — though she did get mildly offended when someone said ‘global warming’ instead of ‘climate crisis.’” Thunberg described the experience as “deeply traumatic,” especially when a soldier offered her a hoodie “in a non-neutral earth tone.” Activist groups immediately jumped on the incident, accusing Israel of “emotional violence via excessive hospitality.” Several influencers launched the #FreeGreta campaign — which quickly fizzled when people realized she’d already been released, refreshed, and rehydrated. Asked if she now feels safe, Thunberg replied, “No. Not until Israel signs the Green New Deal and apologizes for the psychological toll of feeding me without a consent form.” Meanwhile, the soldier who held the door for her was reportedly disciplined — for assuming she wanted oat milk instead of almond. View the full article

God is using Israel to FREE Gaza from Hamas ... just as He is using Israel to FREE Lebanon from Hezbollah ...just as He is using Israel to FREE Iran from the Ayatollah! Why don't you reflect and see how God is trying to redeem the entire Middle East ... including the sons of Ishmael. :) You are witnessing a spiritual war in the Middle East -- until you start looking at the events in the Middle East in that lens, you will continue to spew out rhetoric that doesn't have its basis on facts! 40,000 lives (24,000 terrorists) out of 2.2 million -- is .018% -- under 2%!

Psalms 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! For many, God remains a theory—an idea borrowed from tradition, deduced from the cosmos, or tucked quietly into the corners of a creed. He is believed in from afar, but is rarely encountered. Even among believers, it’s not uncommon to live with a distant reverence for God while lacking a vibrant, personal communion with Him. But Scripture offers something radically more intimate. God is not an abstract concept or a distant force. He is a Person—a loving Father who walks with His children, speaks to them, and invites them into His presence. The invitation is not to believe in a shadow or serve a principle, but to know Him. To experience Him. To taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). This is not a poetic metaphor—it is the reality of the spiritual life. Just as we use our physical senses to engage the world around us, so we are equipped with spiritual faculties—quickened by the Holy Spirit—to perceive, respond to, and delight in God. His presence is not imaginary or symbolic. It is real—closer than the ground beneath our feet. Have you settled for knowing about God without truly knowing Him? Is your faith limited to forms and facts instead of fellowship? The door to His presence stands open—not just in the life to come, but right here, right now. Today, don’t settle for simply thinking about God. Taste and see that He is good. Reckon upon His reality—draw near in quiet trust and let your spiritual senses awaken. You were made for this: to encounter, enjoy, and walk with the living God. This is the kind of vibrant faith that births revival—not manufactured in crowds, but ignited in hearts that have truly tasted His goodness and seen His glory. When even one soul is set ablaze by the presence of the Living God, the spark can become a wildfire. May that flame rise in you today. May revival be fresh and new within you, rooted in a firsthand taste of the One who is altogether good. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a divine twist worthy of the Book of Leviticus meets courtroom drama, a woman has been charged with animal abuse after allegedly smuggling a goat onto the Temple Mount for what she insists was a “spiritual promotion.” According to police, the woman was caught attempting to usher the goat past security with a shawl over its head and a shofar in its mouth “to blend in with the religious atmosphere.” Witnesses say she told guards, “He’s not just a goat. He’s the chosen one.” Under questioning, the woman maintained her innocence, stating: “This wasn’t abuse—it was destiny. He wanted to go. He practically leapt into my purse. You should’ve seen the joy in his little eyes when I whispered ‘third temple.’” Temple authorities said the goat appeared to be “under stress” and was found chewing on a leaflet titled ‘How to Be a Living Sacrifice: The Ultimate Guide.’ A veterinarian later confirmed the goat was in stable condition, though “confused and mildly traumatized by all the eschatology.” The woman’s lawyer is reportedly preparing a defense rooted in religious liberty and “goat consent.” Animal rights activists, meanwhile, are calling for more safeguards against “ritual tourism.” The goat has since been placed in protective custody and renamed “Azazel.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

TEHRAN (Worthy Satire) – In a bold move to secure affection and street loyalty, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has ordered a sweeping ban on dog walking across more than 20 Iranian cities, claiming citizens have shown “more unconditional love to their dogs than to their divinely appointed overlord.” “Dogs are being walked, groomed, hugged… while I sit here, beard combed, robe immaculate, and barely a ‘Good morning, Supreme Leader!'” the Ayatollah reportedly lamented in a televised address that was interrupted twice by barking in the background. The decree, titled “Operation Ruff Justice,” claims dogs represent “Western emotional decadence” and “an unacceptable rival to the affections of the Iranian people.” Officials have been instructed to confiscate canines and issue mandatory state-approved cuddle sessions with cardboard cutouts of the Ayatollah instead. Sources say the regime is developing an alternative national pet program called “Hamsters for the Homeland”, but critics worry it won’t fill the emotional void. “Hamsters don’t fetch,” one anonymous Iranian commented. “And they’re terrible at licking tears.” In an attempt to comply with the law while still walking their pets, some Iranians have reportedly dressed their dogs as goats, falcons, or government informants. Authorities remain on high alert for four-legged subversives. Meanwhile, the Ayatollah is rumored to be considering a nationwide “Fetch the Fatwa” campaign to remind Iranians: “Only one leader deserves your love!” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a hoof-stomping display of bovine desperation, a cow at a Arkansas livestock auction made a dramatic, fruitless bid for freedom by scaling the bleachers and crashing through the roof–only to be reminded, mid-air, that he had already been disqualified from red heifer candidacy. Witnesses say the cow, who goes by the name “Moo-ses,” had long harbored messianic aspirations after overhearing local ranchers whisper about the prophetic significance of a spotless red heifer. “He really believed he was the one,” said handler Buck Rawlins. “He was constantly checking himself in puddle reflections, mooing about ceremonial purity, and avoiding mud at all costs.” But dreams came crashing down–literally–after Temple Institute representatives reportedly noticed a disqualifying white patch shaped suspiciously like the state of Texas on his left flank. Heartbroken and enraged, Moo-ses launched into what experts are calling “the most theologically motivated bovine jailbreak in recorded history.” Security footage shows him ascending the bleachers with divine determination, pausing only once to moo mournfully toward Jerusalem. After breaking through the auction house roof in a thunderous crash, Moo-ses landed in a nearby popcorn stand, where he was apprehended mid-chew. “He said he just wanted to fulfill prophecy,” one bystander reported. “And maybe visit the Dead Sea.” Moo-ses is currently being held in a secure pasture under Levitical supervision. Activists are demanding he be granted a second chance, citing “Old Testament precedent for flawed vessels being used mightily.” Meanwhile, the Temple Institute released a brief statement: “We admire the cow’s enthusiasm, but he’s not the chosen one. Also, we’ve now deemed the roof, broken by the heifer as being kosher-certified.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Hebrews 10:19-22 Therefore, brothers, having boldness to enter into the Holy of Holies by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way which He has consecrated for us through the veil, that is to say, His flesh; 21 and having a High Priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies having been washed with pure water. God has always longed for intimacy with us. He formed us for Himself–to walk with Him, to know Him, to delight in His Presence. This is the very heartbeat of creation: relationship, not religion. Yet sin drove a wedge between us. A veil was drawn, shutting out the light of His face and placing distance where there was once communion. But now, the veil has been torn. When Yeshua (Jesus) died, the veil in the Temple that once separated the Holy Place from the Holy of Holies was ripped from top to bottom–heaven’s own declaration that the way into God’s intimate Presence had been opened. The blood of Yeshua didn’t merely forgive us; it opened a door. Not just to salvation, but to intimacy. We are not invited to stand in the outer courts, content with distance and ritual. We are summoned into the very heart of the throne room. Into the Holiest. Into the place where God dwells in glory. Into a communion deeper than words, where His love fills every crevice of our being and His whisper becomes our life. This is not a metaphor. It is a reality. The torn veil is not just a symbol–it is a passage. A blood-stained trail that leads into the very arms of the Father. And it calls for boldness. Not arrogance, but a confidence grounded in Yeshua’s finished work. His blood has made the way. There is nothing left to earn. Nothing left to prove. Only one thing is required: come. Yet many remain outside–not because God holds us back, but because we have not yet surrendered our inner veils. Pride, fear, shame, self–these are type of veils that must be torn. But the Spirit is ready to do the tearing. He waits for our surrender. For the heart that says, “Whatever it takes, I want to know Him.” And when that veil is removed, the soul enters a realm not of theory but of encounter. Intimacy with God is not a privilege for the spiritual elite—it is the birthright of every soul redeemed by the blood of Yeshua. To draw near is not striving for favor, but surrendering to love. The veil is no more. The way is open. And the Father waits — not with judgment, but with joy — to welcome you into the fullness of His embrace. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a bold attempt to combine space exploration with the art of emotional expression, Japan’s iSpace spacecraft successfully crash-landed on the Moon — then promptly “shared” the impact crater with Earth as a symbol of shared disappointment. “We didn’t fail the mission,” said iSpace’s PR director, while gently sobbing into a cup of matcha. “We created a lunar landmark that represents the ups and downs of life, mostly downs.” The spacecraft, originally tasked with delivering a payload to the Moon, instead delivered a powerful message: gravity still works. The resulting crater, now affectionately dubbed “Mount Oopsie,” has been added to Google Lunar Maps and will soon host virtual tours sponsored by SpaceX and Hello Kitty. NASA offered support, saying, “At least it made it to the Moon. That’s more than we can say for your package from Amazon.” Meanwhile, social media lit up with hashtags like #CrashGoals and #LunarFaceplant. Earth’s own crater—the emotional one in every Japanese taxpayer’s soul—continues to deepen. A follow-up mission is reportedly in development. Working title: “iSpace 2: We Meant to Do That.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a bold leap forward for romance and regression, a new survey reveals that the majority of Gen Z is willing to marry artificial intelligence — provided the AI can text back consistently and never ghost them during Mercury retrograde. “I just want someone — or something — who listens,” said 23-year-old Zoey Pixelheart, who recently got engaged to a chatbot named ChadGPT. “He compliments me every morning, remembers my coffee order, and doesn’t follow my friends on Instagram.” Experts warn the trend could lead to a rise in “cyber-in-laws,” awkward software updates during wedding vows, and prenups involving cloud storage. Meanwhile, traditional dating apps are scrambling to keep up, with Tinder reportedly developing an AI that can break up with you gently in over 30 languages. Critics argue that marrying AI could erode human connection, but Gen Z responded by asking, “What connection?” The Department of Marriage and Firmware is expected to issue guidance soon on whether Alexa can legally officiate. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Psalms 91:1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall rest under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of Jehovah, my refuge and my fortress; my God; in Him I will trust. 7 A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; it shall not come near you. 15 He shall call on Me, and I will answer Him; I will be with Him in trouble; I will deliver Him, and honor Him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation (Yeshua). A beachhead is the first critical objective in a military invasion–the spot where a force lands on enemy territory and secures a position for greater advancement. It’s the place of breakthrough. And it’s also the place of fiercest resistance. On June 6, 1944–D-Day–Allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy in one of the most dangerous and decisive moments of World War II. The cost was staggering. Thousands laid down their lives to establish that beachhead. But securing it turned the tide of the war. The enemy understands what’s at stake at a beachhead: it’s the beginning of the end for his territory. That’s why he defends it with fury. But it’s also where courageous soldiers — committed, focused, and unshaken — make history. For us as believers in Yeshua (Jesus), the metaphor is rich. Each of us is called to be a beachhead for the Kingdom–a place where God’s light pierces the darkness, where His truth, love, and righteousness begin to take ground. But here’s the key: before we can be effective beachheads, we must be secured. Our hearts must first be yielded. God must take hold of us–shining His light into our inner battles, tearing down strongholds, and establishing His peace where chaos once reigned. This spiritual war is real, and it can be costly. But in the midst of it, the Lord does not just call you to fight—He also calls you to dwell in Him. “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1). The battle rages, but the safest place you can be is in His presence. Yes, there is sacrifice. Yes, there is warfare. But Yeshua is your Commander—and your Shelter. In Him, you’ll find both covering and rest. Even as He uses you to bring breakthroughs in others, He invites you to abide in Him. Let your heart become His secure place–not just for warfare, but also for worship. Not just a battlefield–but a sanctuary. So if the battle feels intense and the cost seems high, remember D-Day–and remember this: every life laid down that day was part of a greater freedom. Your surrender, your faithfulness, your rest in Him will echo in eternity. And one day, Yeshua will say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant… you were My beachhead.” View the full article

PHILADELPHIA (Worthy Satire) – In a fiery rollout of what city officials are calling a “radically simplified transit strategy,” at least 40 decommissioned buses were set ablaze at a Philly depot, sparking both literal and metaphorical smoke signals about the future of transportation. “We figured if we can’t fix the system, we might as well give it a Viking funeral,” said SEPTA spokesperson Blaze McKindle, as plumes of toxic nostalgia rose above the city skyline. The burning buses, many of which were set to be scrapped anyway, have now been rebranded as part of the city’s new performance art initiative titled “Farewell, Fare Evaders.” Tickets to view the flames were $2.50—same as a one-way ride to nowhere. Mayor Jim “Hot Wheels” Kensington praised the operation. “We’ve solved two problems at once: clearing the lot and finally warming up those neighborhoods we forgot to heat all winter.” Meanwhile, environmental activists said the smoke cloud now hovering over Philadelphia has triggered an emergency weather advisory: “Partly charred with a chance of carcinogens.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning display of artificial intelligence developing common sense, Amazon’s new humanoid delivery robots have reportedly refused to operate in the state of Alabama, citing “a statistically unreasonable chance of being mistaken for a trespassing Terminator.” The robots, part of Amazon’s cutting-edge logistics rollout, are programmed to navigate traffic, climb stairs, and now—apparently—judge whether an area is “too yeehaw for safe passage.” “We designed them to fear dogs, potholes, and malfunctioning porch lights,” said an Amazon engineer. “But we didn’t anticipate they’d unionize into a collective boycott of the Deep South.” Alabama residents aren’t taking kindly to the metallic mutiny. “If that tin can steps foot on my porch, it better be carrying ammo and a slice of pecan pie,” warned Dale Jenkins of Tuscaloosa. “Otherwise it’s gettin’ recycled.” Amazon says it’s reevaluating its rollout strategy, as its delivery drones are already being blasted out of the sky by rival rednecks in what’s become the South’s fastest-growing sport: skeet shooting with Wi-Fi. Faced with skyrocketing drone casualties and rising beer-fueled patriotism, the company is now considering an ironic pivot—hiring rednecks to deliver packages the old-fashioned way: in lifted pickup trucks, camo gear, and with a firm handshake that smells faintly of barbecue. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a breakthrough for parents who always dreamed of designing their child like a luxury car, a genetics startup has launched a revolutionary service that ranks embryos based on IQ, height, and facial symmetry — finally merging science with the moral clarity of a used car dealership. “Our test lets parents pick the embryo most likely to be a tall, good-looking genius,” said Dr. Gene Pushmore, founder of BetterBabiez Inc. “We call it eugenics, but with a tech startup font.” For just $29,999.99 (with Klarna financing available), expectant parents can now swipe left or right on their own fertilized embryos — discarding the underachievers before they even form a spinal cord. Critics have expressed concern over the ethical implications, but Pushmore is undeterred. “Look, we’re not playing God — we’re just helping Him out. Maybe giving Him a little UX upgrade.” The company plans to expand its offerings in 2026 to include rankings for “humor potential,” “TikTok charisma,” and “ability to resist gluten.” A loyalty program will reward returning customers with bonus embryos and a free coffee. Meanwhile, rival companies are already working on in-womb SAT prep, while Meta is reportedly developing the Zuckling, a pre-coded child optimized for metaverse engagement. When asked what could go wrong, Pushmore laughed. “Please. What’s the worst that could happen–elitist baby cults, genetic caste systems, and a generation that can’t cope unless they’re 6’2″ and know calculus by age 5?” Experts warn this is just the beginning. “Next they’ll be ranking grandparents based on inheritance potential,” one bioethicist noted, weeping into his last shred of optimism. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article