George

(Worthy Satire) – In a heartwarming yet slightly unsettling milestone this week, Amazon celebrated the deployment of its one-millionth robot at its mega-fulfillment center in Japan. The robot, affectionately named “Unit #1000000,” was welcomed with confetti, a synchronized beeping ceremony, and a retirement party for Steve–Amazon’s last human warehouse worker at the facility. “Steve was a legend,” said the new facility manager, a sleek AI named FulfillTron-9000. “He could lift up to 23 pounds without a hydraulic arm and once smiled at a coworker without being prompted. He’ll be missed.” The new robot, built with advanced package-sorting algorithms, facial-recognition-powered inventory sensors, and the ability to glare menacingly at nearby humans without eyes, is expected to increase efficiency by 0.0042%–which Amazon executives called a “revolution.” “This is what Bezos dreamed of when he first stared into the void of space,” said company spokesperson Alana Circuit. “A world where robots don’t sleep, eat, unionize, or ask about bathroom breaks.” According to leaked internal memos, Amazon plans to celebrate Unit #1000000 with a new promotional holiday called Prime Directive Day, where robots get double charging time and humans are reminded to “step with caution or be gently nudged aside by a package-delivering exoskeleton.” Meanwhile, Steve has been offered a severance package that includes three Prime Pantry coupons and a heartfelt email from Alexa saying, “Thanks, Steve. We’ve got it from here.” He now plans to spend his retirement learning how to avoid drone delivery flight paths in his backyard. When asked if he had any parting words, Steve simply said, “At least the robots don’t steal your lunch from the break room.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Luke 10:2-3 And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest. 3 Go your way; behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves. When Yeshua (Jesus) spoke these words not only to the seventy He sent ahead of Him, but to every disciple who follows Him into the world, it’s a striking picture: fields overflowing with a harvest, ready to be gathered. The problem isn’t the readiness of the harvest — it’s the shortage of workers willing to go. “The harvest is plentiful…” These words should ignite faith within us. They remind us that Abba has already been at work—preparing hearts, breaking up the hard ground, and causing seeds of truth to grow. Our role is not to make the harvest happen but to join Him in reaping what He has already made ready. But Yeshua doesn’t stop there. He says, “Pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest…” The first step is not action—it is intercession. Before we go, we must seek His face. When we pray for laborers, something happens in us: our hearts align with His, and we often become part of the answer to our own prayer. Then comes the sobering truth: “Go your way… I am sending you out as lambs among wolves.” This mission will not be without cost. The world may oppose the message of the Kingdom. But our confidence doesn’t rest in our strength — it rests in the Shepherd who laid down His life for the sheep. We go not in fear, but in faith. Not with force, but with love. Not as predators, but as peacemakers—carrying the message of redemption and the power of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit). The time is now. The fields are not just ready — they are bursting with opportunity. Yeshua did not speak these words to inspire passivity, but to ignite purpose. You were not saved to sit — you were saved to be sent. The same Spirit that empowered the early disciples burns within you. The same voice that called them still calls today: “Go.” Yes, the wolves are real. The resistance is real. But so is the power, the protection, and the presence of Yeshua, who walks with you. You are not going alone — you are being sent by the King of Kings, commissioned by the Lord of the Harvest, and carried by the strength of the Ruach HaKodesh. So rise up, laborer. Shake off fear. Step into the harvest fields with boldness and compassion. Speak truth. Show mercy. Proclaim the Kingdom. You were made for this moment. Now go—and reap. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In what flight attendants are now calling “a literal spiritual journey,” passengers aboard Flight 316 from Orlando to Dallas broke into spontaneous Scripture quoting after a live snake was spotted slithering under a row of seats midair. “I heard someone shout ‘SNAKE!’ and before I could scream, someone else yelled, ‘THE SERPENT WAS MORE CRAFTY THAN ANY BEAST OF THE FIELD!’” said passenger Linda Matthews, a Sunday school teacher who admitted she’s always wanted to quote Genesis 3:1 in a real emergency. “It was like Bible jeopardy meets an Indiana Jones reboot.” As passengers panicked and clutched their Bibles and carry-ons, the cabin descended into an mix of prayer, praise, and pest control. Meanwhile, a professional herpetologist—who just happened to be onboard—said the snake likely slithered aboard in someone’s luggage, possibly seeking a non-stop to Eden. “It’s not uncommon for reptiles to seek warmth in dark, enclosed spaces,” he said. “Although how it ended up in seat 12C is still a mystery. Might’ve booked the wrong Spirit flight.” The plane’s captain, clearly unamused, made an unscheduled landing in Memphis. “I signed up to fly through turbulence, not temptations from the Garden,” he said during a press briefing. “This is why we don’t allow emotional support cobras.” In a final twist, a local pastor waiting at the arrival gate proclaimed, “The serpent may have gotten on board, but it didn’t get the final word. God turned that plane into a revival meeting!” Delta is now offering complimentary spiritual counseling and snake-proof Samsonite upgrades. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a bold crime wave that police say could only have been masterminded by someone with the coordination of a caffeinated squirrel, a 12-year-old boy was arrested this week for allegedly stealing multiple vehicles — and then flipping them for what authorities described as “basically lunch money.” The pint-sized prodigy reportedly learned his tradecraft from hours of playing Grand Theft Auto V, which he referred to as “driver’s ed but, like, fun.” According to officials, the boy’s motive was not revenge, rebellion, or a cry for help — but a desperate, brain-freeze-fueled addiction to cherry Slurpees from his local 7-Eleven. “He was moving cars like a used car lot with ADHD,” said Officer Linda Martinez. “One 2015 Honda Civic was sold for $14, half a pack of gum, and a promise of a Fortnite skin.” The boy, known on the streets as “Lil Vinnie,” allegedly boosted at least five vehicles over a three-week spree, usually abandoning them in school parking lots or behind vape shops. His negotiation style? “Take it or leave it, I got places to be and Slurpees to drink,” according to police transcripts. In court, the child’s lawyer argued that his client was not a criminal, but a misunderstood entrepreneur responding to inflation and a lack of after-school programs. “This is what happens when you cut funding for youth sports,” she said, adding, “and when GTA is cheaper than daycare.” Slurpee sales at the 7-Eleven in question have plummeted since the boy’s arrest, and sources say he is currently working on a plea deal involving community service and a lifetime ban from Rockstar Games. Meanwhile, multiple car owners are reportedly “just glad the kid didn’t take the aux cord too.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Psalms 11:3-7 if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” 4 The LORD is in his holy temple; the LORD’s throne is in heaven; his eyes see, his eyelids test the children of man. 5 The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence [Hamas]. 6 Let him rain coals on the wicked; fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup. 7 For the LORD is righteous; he loves righteous deeds; the upright shall behold his face. This piercing question opens Psalm 11 like a cry from the heart in times of trouble. It’s a question we ask when law and order collapse, when truth is ridiculed, and when those who do evil seem to triumph. The foundations — the principles of righteousness, justice, and truth that uphold society — are under siege. And it begs the question: What can God’s people do when everything righteous seems to be crumbling? The answer comes immediately: “The LORD is in His holy temple; the LORD’s throne is in heaven.” God has not abdicated His throne. He is not shaken by the shaking of this world. While evil rises and darkness spreads, God remains sovereign, seated above it all. He sees. He knows. “His eyes behold, His eyelids test the children of man.” He is not blind to what is happening. He is testing the hearts of all people — especially the righteous. The Hebrew word for violence in Psalm 11:5 is hamas — the very same word that names the modern terrorist organization Hamas. This is no linguistic coincidence. In Scripture, hamas describes more than just aggression; it embodies a spirit of brutal injustice, lawlessness, oppression, and bloodshed. It’s the same violent corruption that filled the earth in the days of Noah (Genesis 6:11), provoking God to cleanse the world with judgment. The spirit of hamas is ancient, and it remains active in our day — cloaked in modern ideology but rooted in the same rebellion against God’s order. God is not passive toward such evil — He hates hamas. Whether it manifests as personal cruelty or coordinated terror, He detests those who love violence. Psalm 11:6 makes the verdict clear: “Let Him rain coals on the wicked; fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup.” This isn’t poetic metaphor — it’s prophetic reality. The rise of hamas may be celebrated in the streets of men, but it stands condemned by the throne of heaven. God’s justice is sure. Evil may have its moment, but it will not have the final word. But even as judgment falls, a promise shines for the faithful: “The LORD is righteous… the upright shall behold His face.” God delights in righteousness. He takes pleasure in those who remain upright, even when the world collapses around them. For those who endure, the reward is more than rescue — it’s relationship. They will see His face. Take heart, righteous one. Though the foundations shake, ḥāmās—violence and lawlessness—floods the earth, and the wicked rise with boldness, do not be moved. God is still on His throne. He sees, He tests, He judges—and He remembers the faithful. Embrace the testing. It’s not to break you, but to prepare you. Each trial draws you closer, deepens your dependence, and refines your walk. And in the end, the promise remains: the upright will behold His face. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a new Gallup poll released just in time for the Fourth of July, only 36% of Democrats reported being “very proud” to be American—prompting nationwide shortages of reusable tote bags, NPR bumper stickers, and hand-woven guilt. The remaining 64% were reportedly somewhat proud, existentially conflicted, or in one notable case, currently identifying as Canadian until after the election. “We’re not un-American,” clarified Brooklyn resident Luna Thistle, sipping an oat milk cortado in front of her vintage typewriter. “We just think fireworks are colonialist, the flag is problematic, and freedom should come with a trigger warning.” Meanwhile, Republicans are preparing to celebrate America’s birthday the old-fashioned way—with meat, explosions, and singing the Star Spangled Banner. “Nothing says liberty like lighting Chinese-made mortars while shouting ‘Let’s Go Brandon,’” said Chad Rawlins of rural Texas, whose grill is already on its third propane tank of the week. Independents, for their part, were split between “very proud,” “mildly bewildered,” and “still waiting for Joe Rogan to weigh in.” In California, state officials are expected to replace fireworks with mindfulness circles and low-emission sparklers, while New York has issued a PSA reminding citizens that barbecued meats are “potentially fascist.” Still, some Democrats are planning to attend July 4th events—as long as they’re sustainably catered, feature at least one spoken-word poem about indigenous pain, and end with a diversity-focused drone light show. As the nation prepares for Independence Day, Americans remain divided—not just by politics, but by whether it’s okay to eat a hot dog if the pig’s backstory hasn’t been ethically sourced. One thing’s for sure: even if only 36% of Democrats are “very proud” to be American, 100% of them will still take the day off. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

LONDON (Worthy Satire) – In an unexpected plot twist that shook the foundation of progressive grammar everywhere, BBC reporter Nigel Penworthy earned viral fame yesterday after dramatically halting a live broadcast to correct the phrase “pregnant people,” daring instead to utter the ancient and mysterious word: women. The moment, which some are calling “the linguistic Normandy invasion,” occurred during a routine health segment on fertility statistics. As Penworthy read from his teleprompter, he suddenly squinted, winced, and made the sign of the cross before stopping mid-sentence. “Apologies,” he said solemnly to the camera. “The script says pregnant people—but I believe the biological term is still women. Unless something’s changed since breakfast?” The camera crew gasped. Twitter collapsed. And somewhere in Oxford, the English language whispered, Thank you, dear sir. Within minutes, hashtags like #NigelTheBrave and #SayWoman surged across social media. Thousands praised the journalist for his heroic resistance to “syntactic surrender,” while others began organizing candlelight vigils for fallen vocabulary such as mother, breastfeeding, and common sense. In a follow-up statement, the BBC clarified their commitment to inclusivity, noting that future reporters would be replaced with AI voice avatars programmed to say “birthing entities” in 37 dialects. As for Penworthy, he’s reportedly been transferred to the BBC’s new Siberian bureau — broadcasting from a snow cave where he’s allowed to say “woman,” but only in Morse code. Stay tuned for next week’s episode: “Is It Still OK to Call It a Father’s Day Sale?” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

1 Kings 19:1-5 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” After one of the greatest spiritual victories in all of Scripture–calling down fire from heaven on Mount Carmel and turning the hearts of Israel back to God–Elijah finds himself blindsided by fear. Jezebel’s threat, a single message promising his death within twenty-four hours, sends him running for his life. The same man who boldly faced hundreds of false prophets now flees into the wilderness, collapsing under a broom tree, physically exhausted and emotionally shattered. In that lonely place, Elijah utters one of the most raw and human prayers recorded in Scripture: “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life.” How does a prophet fall so far, so fast? Because even the strongest among us are not immune to burnout, to despair, or the crushing weight of unmet expectations. Elijah had hoped that revival would take root, that Jezebel’s reign of terror would come to an end. But evil still held the throne, and Elijah felt utterly alone. His cry wasn’t rebellion–it was fatigue, disappointment, and the pain of believing he had failed. We’ve all had broom tree moments–times when we’ve poured ourselves out in obedience, only to be met with resistance or silence. We’ve felt the sting of rejection, the fear that nothing we’ve done has mattered, and the quiet whisper of defeat. And yet, the beauty of Elijah’s story is not only in his honesty but in God’s response. The Lord doesn’t scold Elijah for running. He doesn’t reject his weakness. Instead, He sends an angel with food, gives him rest, and later speaks in a gentle whisper–not a rebuke, but a reassurance. God’s heart toward the weary is full of compassion. He knows the limits of our humanity and meets us right in the middle of our brokenness. If you find yourself under your own broom tree today–overwhelmed, tired, or afraid–know this: God sees you. He’s not finished with you. The wilderness is not your final destination. It’s often the place where God begins to write the next chapter of your story, with fresh strength and renewed purpose. Let Him meet you there. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning move that has rocked the tech world and therapists alike, Microsoft has officially retired the iconic Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), ending decades of nostalgic trauma and late-night sobbing. The company announced the decision in a press release that immediately crashed upon opening, prompting many to question whether the BSOD was truly gone or just lurking in Safe Mode. “We’re replacing the Blue Screen with something warmer and more user-friendly,” said Microsoft’s Head of Emotional Computing, Serenity Byte. “The new error screen features a soft pastel gradient and a sad emoji that gently weeps while your system collapses.” Longtime Windows users were devastated. “I’ve had breakups that hurt less than losing the BSOD,” said IT technician Frank DeFreeze. “It was the only consistent thing in my life—my dad left, my dog ran away, but that blue screen never failed me.” Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists claim the BSOD isn’t truly gone but has been outsourced to Bing Chat, where it now responds with cryptic haikus and the occasional blue background for old times’ sake. Grief counselors have been dispatched to corporate offices nationwide, while Gen Z users—who never knew the rage of losing a 15-page essay to a fatal memory dump—have taken to TikTok to mourn ironically with #BlueScreenChallenge dance tributes. In unrelated news, Apple celebrated by releasing an update that causes Macs to whisper “I told you so” whenever a Windows user enters the room. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

1 Kings 18:41-45 And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink, for there is a sound of the rushing of rain.” 42 So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Mount Carmel. And he bowed himself down on the earth and put his face between his knees. 43 And he said to his servant, “Go up now, look toward the sea.” And he went up and looked and said, “There is nothing.” And he said, “Go again,” seven times. 44 And at the seventh time he said, “Behold, a little cloud like a man’s hand is rising from the sea.” And he said, “Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.’” 45 And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. Elijah heard what no one else did — a storm was coming. Though the sky was still blue and the ground still cracked from years of drought, Elijah discerned the sound of abundance. It was a prophetic knowing, a spiritual sensitivity that saw past what was visible into what God was about to do. But Elijah didn’t just declare it — he prayed it through. He climbed Mount Carmel and bowed low, face between his knees, entering into deep intercession. This was the posture of travail. He sent his servant to look toward the sea seven times. Even when the report was “nothing,” he persisted — because faith doesn’t quit when the sky is clear. Faith presses in until the cloud appears. We are in a similar moment now. God is preparing to pour out His Spirit again, in power and glory, in ways we have yet to see. There is a latter rain coming — an outpouring for the final harvest. But like Elijah, we must learn to see it before we see it, to pray into the promise, and to position ourselves for it. Elijah tells Ahab to eat and drink — to rest in what’s coming. This is the spirit of Shabbat — a holy invitation to cease striving and trust that God is moving. In our own lives, we are called not just to work for revival but to rest in the God who brings it. Shabbat is not spiritual passivity; it’s confidence in God’s timing. And here’s a crucial reminder: Some people get so focused on the tares that they miss the wheat. Yes, Scripture tells us a great apostasy is coming — but it also speaks of a great harvest. These two realities are not in conflict. The wheat grows right in the midst of the weeds (Matthew 13:30). The presence of darkness does not cancel the promise of light. In fact, the harvest at the end of the age comes while the weeds are still present. The farmer does not panic — he waits patiently for the latter rain to ripen the crop (James 5:7). With prophetic vision, we can see that God is preparing to do something new—a fresh move, a divine shaking, a call to gather the harvest while it is still day. The clouds are forming. The rain is near. This weekend, can we slow down — truly rest—and allow the Spirit to revitalize us for the mission we’re called to? Can we lay aside distraction and despair long enough to see the wheat, to hear the whisper of rain, and to recapture a vision of God’s plan for our lives? Let this be a time of sacred rest and prophetic realignment. You were made for this moment — for His harvest. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei emerged via pixelated bunker broadcast on state TV Wednesday to declare “total victory” over Israel and the United States — despite the minor detail that Iran didn’t shoot down a single plane, kill a single soldier, or prevent any of its “symbols of strength” from being turned into flaming craters. Speaking from an undisclosed underground lair that appeared decorated in Cold War chic, Khamenei triumphantly announced, “We have delivered a hand slap to America’s face!” — though critics noted it resembled more of a missed high-five in the dark. Over the course of the 12-day war, Iran’s much-hyped air defenses accomplished exactly zero confirmed kills, while its missile sites, nuclear facilities, and command centers were methodically dismantled by precision strikes. A senior Iranian official reportedly tried to count how many targets remained intact but was last seen asking a janitor for a flashlight and a prayer rug. Meanwhile, U.S. President Donald Trump continued his whirlwind tour across the free world, visiting leaders, walking outdoors, and traveling above ground without fear of vaporization — a luxury apparently unavailable to Iran’s leadership. “They call that a win?” Trump said during a joint press conference in London. “If I lost all my major assets, didn’t kill a single enemy, and spent two weeks hiding in a hole, I’d call that Tuesday in Joe Biden’s America — not a victory.” Iranian state media attempted to spin the optics, announcing that Khamenei’s bunker was actually a “Strategic Command Sanctum” and that “remaining alive while losing everything counts as moral triumph.” The claim was followed by a musical montage of exploding Iranian facilities set to triumphant martial music and three straight minutes of pixelated fireworks. One Western analyst summarized the situation bluntly: “If your enemy walks away unscathed, your weapons are smoking wreckage, and your supreme leader is broadcasting from beneath a mattress — it might be time to rethink your definition of ‘slap.'” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

When Elijah cast his cloak over Elisha in the field, it wasn’t just a symbolic act—it was a divine call. Elisha understood this and responded not with delay or excuse, but with decisive action. After asking to say goodbye to his parents, he returned, slaughtered his oxen, and used the wooden yokes as fuel to cook the meat. Then he gave the meal to the people, and walked away from everything familiar to follow the prophet Elijah. Elisha didn’t just leave his past—he burned it. The plow, the oxen, the life he once knew—all of it became a sacrifice. He didn’t just say yes to God’s call; he made sure there was nothing to go back to. Now consider the words of Jesus in Luke 9:62: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Jesus wasn’t speaking to farmers. He was speaking to followers. To those who say “yes” but keep glancing in the rearview mirror. Elisha didn’t just put his hand to the plow—he let it go entirely. Jesus warns that any heart still attached to the old life, any disciple still wondering “what if,” is not truly fit for the work of the Kingdom. There’s a high cost to discipleship. It requires a clean break from the past and full focus on the future God is calling us into. Looking back implies regret, reservation, or second thoughts. But the Kingdom of God advances through those who have burned their plows and never looked back. View the full article

1 Kings 19:15 And the LORD said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. Elijah had just come through one of the most intense seasons of his life. He had called down fire from heaven on Mount Carmel, seen the prophets of Baal defeated, and yet found himself running in fear from Jezebel, exhausted and discouraged. In the cave at Horeb, he cried out, believing he was alone and that all was lost. But it was there—in the still small voice—that God revealed His presence and His plan. And then came a surprising command: “Go, return.” Elijah was to leave the place of hiding, the place of despair, and return to the world, back into the midst of God’s unfolding plan. There was still work to do. Elijah was called not just to prophesy, but also to anoint, to prepare the way for new leaders, and to participate in God’s sovereign purposes that extended far beyond his lifetime or understanding. The instruction to anoint Hazael as king over Syria reminds us that God is at work in ways that cross borders, kingdoms, and expectations. Even in foreign lands, even through leaders who did not know Him, God was orchestrating His justice and mercy. Elijah’s mission was part of a greater tapestry—a plan that God was weaving through history. Even in the Old Testament, God was at work creating the paths for the greater work of the Kingdom. His dealings with kings and nations, as well as His raising up and tearing down of rulers, were never random or isolated events—they were all threads in the unfolding story of redemption. His plan works to bring forth the salvation that would ultimately come through Yeshua (Jesus), redeeming people from every nation, tribe, and tongue. Elijah’s task, though it seemed small or even puzzling at the time, was part of preparing the world for God’s greater purposes. So let us lift our eyes beyond our immediate circumstances. Grab hold of the grand plan and understand the grand framework of His workings. Trust that your obedience, like Elijah’s, fits into a design that is far bigger than you can imagine — a design that leads to His glory and the redemption of the world. However, we can sometimes feel, like Elijah, defeated or isolated. We may think our role is finished or our strength is gone. But God says: Return. Get up. Keep going. I still have a purpose for you. His plans stretch beyond our sight, and our obedience — no matter how weary we feel — places us back in the flow of His divine will. Is there a place where God is calling you to return — to reengage with His purpose despite discouragement, weariness, or fear? Like Elijah, you may feel alone or that your work has no lasting impact. But the same God who spoke through the still small voice calls you now: Go, return. His plan is far greater than your understanding, weaving your obedience into the tapestry of His Kingdom purposes. What you do today may set in motion blessings and victories that you will never fully see on this side of eternity. So trust Him, step forward, and embrace your part in His unfolding story of redemption! View the full article

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Worthy Satire) – In a shocking but totally coincidental series of events, Meta reportedly made “eerily perfect” trades just seconds before members of Congress moved large amounts of stock — all while owning WhatsApp, the encrypted messaging app lawmakers used to coordinate what they repeatedly insisted were “totally unrelated lunch orders.” The House of Representatives has now banned WhatsApp from all government-issued devices, citing “cybersecurity concerns” — which apparently include Meta reading messages like: “Sell all pharma stocks NOW 😬” followed by 3 rocket emojis. “Meta was simply too good at predicting the market,” said Rep. Blip Fineman (R-Oops). “At some point, you have to ask: is it really a coincidence they bought defense stocks every time I typed the word ‘Iran’ into my phone?” Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg responded to the allegations in a monotone livestream wearing his signature gray hoodie: “We deny all wrongdoing. We only monitor users’ metadata… and lunch orders. Also, shout-out to Nancy for that enchilada recipe.” The House’s Chief Administrative Officer confirmed that WhatsApp had been used to organize bipartisan fantasy football leagues, share memes about C-SPAN camera angles, and — allegedly — drop hints about upcoming legislation like “HR420 🚀🔥 GET IN NOW.” Meta’s AI trading bot, code-named “ZuckStradamus”, was quietly shut down after buying 400,000 shares of “Generic Military Contractor, Inc.” precisely 1.2 seconds after a House Armed Services Committee group chat lit up with, “Let’s bomb something vague.” Meanwhile, lawmakers are now being advised to switch to Microsoft Teams, a platform so unpopular that even insider trading won’t touch it. One intern put it best: “We were fine with Facebook watching us, but when they started beating us at our own stock game… it became personal.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

Confused Anatomy Awareness Month Begins with a Cervix-Screening Campaign for Men (Worthy Satire) – Planned Parenthood sparked confusion and laughter online this week after launching a bold new campaign urging “men” to schedule their routine cervical cancer screenings. The organization doubled down on its long-standing slogan, “Trans men are men,” while reminding them that they may still need to get their cervix examined—assuming they haven’t misplaced it. “We affirm that men can have uteruses, and therefore, men must be vigilant about cervical cancer,” said spokesperson Casey Spectrum, who uses all pronouns and communicates in interpretive dance. “This is about inclusion, equity, and reminding all people with XY energy and XX plumbing to stay healthy.” Critics were quick to mock the campaign. “So now men need pap smears?” asked one bewildered commenter. “Do I need to get mine at Jiffy Lube or is it covered under fantasy insurance?” In response, Planned Parenthood clarified that “men who were assigned female at birth and who haven’t had gender-affirming surgeries should still get screened.” When asked why the campaign didn’t just say that, the spokesperson blinked twice, rebooted, and offered a coupon for free rainbow stickers. Meanwhile, actual men—biological and bewildered—were last seen backing away slowly from gynecological clinics, holding tight to their dignity and double-checking their anatomy. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning blow to Paris, Bali, and that one pharmacy in Tijuana, New Zealand has officially been crowned the “Best Place to Have Herpes,” thanks to a cheeky public health ad that has now gone viral — in more ways than one. The award-winning campaign, funded by the New Zealand Sexual Health Authority (NZSHA), features beaming Kiwis frolicking through lush landscapes, climbing glaciers, and sharing awkward STI disclosures over flat whites. The slogan? “If you’re going to get herpes, get it somewhere beautiful.” Critics called the campaign “insensitive,” “hilarious,” and “shockingly relatable,” while Tourism New Zealand immediately adopted it as their secondary slogan, replacing 100% Pure with 100% Positive (HSV-2). NZSHA spokesperson Dr. Poppy Hives defended the campaign: “We just wanted to destigmatize herpes and boost tourism. And if we can do both with one itchy, beautiful ad, why not?” The award ceremony was held in Geneva, where New Zealand representatives were presented with a golden blister-shaped trophy. Australia responded by launching their own campaign: “At least you didn’t get it in Perth.” Rumors are swirling that Iceland, jealous of the win, is preparing a counter-ad: “Our volcanoes aren’t the only thing that occasionally erupts.” Meanwhile, herpes sufferers worldwide are reportedly Googling flight deals to Auckland — because if you’re going to flare up, it might as well be with a view of the Southern Alps. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

1 Kings 19:12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 1 Cor 15:57-58 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. Over the weekend, the United States launched a bold operation aimed at ending Iran’s nuclear program. In the quiet of the night, unseen by human eyes, B-2 Spirit bombers initiated Operation Midnight Hammer—a precision strike designed to eliminate hidden threats before they could bring harm. With unmatched stealth, they cut through the darkness, delivering a decisive blow against danger. In much the same way, God moves in the unseen battles of our lives. When the enemy plots in the shadows, our mighty Deliverer initiates His own midnight operations. Without fanfare, without earthly applause, the Lord acts with precision, power, and purpose. Elijah heard God not in the fire or the earthquake but in the still, small voice (1 Kings 19:12). Likewise, we may not always see or feel the hand of God at work, but rest assured—He is always advancing His plan. The enemy may think he has the upper hand, but God is never outmaneuvered. He is the Master of holy stealth, sending forth His Word, His angels, His Spirit to hammer down every scheme of darkness. Are you facing hidden battles or feeling overwhelmed? Don’t fear—God sees every scheme, and even now, the hammer of heaven is striking where it must. The Lord of Hosts is on the move! Victory isn’t distant or uncertain; it’s here, ready to be claimed. The victory was secured at the cross and sealed by the empty tomb. Now, stand firm, pray boldly, and walk in the victory Christ has already given you. No force of darkness can stand against Him. View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a shocking on-air monologue that left even the studio teleprompter sweating, an MSNBC host passionately defended Hillary Clinton’s hypothetical foreign policy toughness, saying, “If Hillary had been president, Iran’s nuclear program would’ve been flattened–just like the careers, reputations, and pulses of her political enemies.” Drawing comparisons to recent U.S. strikes in the Middle East, the host pointed out, “Everyone talks about Trump’s unpredictability–but Hillary? She had the quiet resolve of a Bond villain with a Clinton Foundation tax shelter.” “When Hillary draws a red line,” the anchor added, “it’s not just metaphorical–it’s chalked at the edge of a shallow grave in Arkansas.” Analysts across cable news scrambled to decode whether the statement was a foreign policy endorsement or a subtle threat. “Look,” the host said, “Iran wouldn’t dare retaliate under her. Why? Because they’d have a sudden email server accident, or coincidentally find themselves doing backflips off hotel balconies in Qatar.” One MSNBC viewer summarized it best: “She may not have nuked Iran, but she’s certainly been known to delete… problems.” No interns were harmed as of yet in the creation of this satire, but we’ve updated our wills just in case. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

TEHRAN (Worthy Satire) – Iran’s notorious “Destruction of Israel” countdown clock met its end this week in a precision Israeli airstrike — but rather than rage, Iranian officials have responded with relief, admitting that the clock’s timing was based on the wrong prophetic calendar all along. “For years we’ve been counting down to the destruction of the Zionist regime using what we thought was the correct timetable,” confessed Ayatollah Ayar Zaman, head of Iran’s Ministry of Sacred Chronology. “But it turns out we got our dates scrambled. We’re not sure if we should’ve been using the Mayan calendar, the Essene calendar, the Islamic lunar calendar, or maybe just the Gregorian one like everyone else.” The destruction of the digital doomsday clock — a giant display installed in 2017 showing how many days remained until Israel’s supposed demise — has, according to Tehran, “provided a much-needed reset.” “Frankly, it was prophetic that Israel blew it up,” Zaman explained. “It saved us from the embarrassment of counting down to the wrong doomsday. We’ve thanked them in private channels and plan to send a fruit basket.” Officials say they now intend to rebuild the clock — but only after they’ve sorted out which calendar correctly aligns with their apocalyptic aspirations. Insiders say debates are fierce: some favor recalibrating the clock according to ancient Babylonian star charts, while others insist on waiting for a United Nations interfaith timekeeping committee to weigh in. “We thought about syncing it with the Mayan calendar, but as you know, that didn’t work out so well in 2012,” said one senior official on condition of anonymity. “We’re also exploring a new app that will generate doomsday dates dynamically using AI.” For now, construction of a replacement clock is on hold until Iran can conclusively determine when the end of Israel should happen. Estimates for the new countdown’s launch date range from next spring to sometime after the heat death of the universe. Meanwhile, Israel’s Defense Minister offered a wry comment: “We’re happy to assist with the math next time. We specialize in ending regimes with dangerous countdowns.” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

1 Kings 18:36-39 And at the time of the offering of the oblation, Elijah the prophet came near and said, “O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that you are God in Israel, and that I am your servant, and that I have done all these things at your word. 37 Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.” 38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. 39 And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, “The LORD, he is God; the LORD, he is God.” Every true move of revival begins where few look for it—at the hidden brook, in the quiet place of God’s pruning. Cherith (נַחַל כְּרִית) means to cut off, to separate, to covenant. Before Elijah could stand on Mount Carmel and call down fire, he had to be separated, set apart for God’s purposes. Cherith was the place where God stripped away distractions, where Elijah learned to depend not on crowds or acclaim, but on the Lord’s daily provision. Like Elijah, God brings us to Cherith to prepare our hearts, to cut away what hinders His power, and to renew our covenant loyalty. Revival begins when God’s people allow Him to do this hidden work making us ready for His fire. But Cherith is not the end of the journey. God calls His servants from the brook to Mount Carmel (הַר הַכַּרְמֶל)—the mount of decision, where revival breaks forth. Carmel, once a fruitful place, had become barren through compromise and Baal worship. Yet God chose that very place to send His fire. On Carmel, Elijah called for the fire — and God answered. The fire fell, not just for spectacle, but to burn away idolatry, to awaken a nation, and to turn hearts back to Himself: “Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that You, O Lord, are God, and that You have turned their hearts back again.” (1 Kings 18:37). The fire of revival always falls where hearts are ready to return to God. And the fire was not the end. Revival fire makes way for the rain. After the fire came the Geshem (גֶּשֶׁם)—the rain of restoration, the outpouring that brings life to dry ground. Elijah’s prayer brought the rain that broke the drought and healed the land. This is God’s pattern: first He sends the fire to purify; then comes the rain to restore. It is the same pattern we see in Yeshua (Jesus) — the judgment for sin at the Cross, then the outpouring of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:16-19; Joel 2:28) to bring life, power, and true fruitfulness. Revival is the fire that prepares the way for God’s rain of blessing on a thirsty world. So rise up, beloved! Don’t shrink back from Cherith’s pruning, don’t hesitate on Carmel’s heights, and don’t stop watching the skies for God’s rain. Now is the time to yield your heart fully—to be the one through whom His fire can fall and His rain can pour. Let your life be the spark that ignites a generation, the vessel God uses to awaken the dry bones of a nation. The God who answered Elijah with fire and rain is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is ready to move again—are you ready to be part of His revival? Surrender now. Cry out now. The hour is at hand! View the full article

(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning display of perseverance — or perhaps just stubbornness—the Iranian regime announced today that it will continue its nuclear program at “full speed,” despite the minor inconvenience that every single nuclear installation in the country has been reduced to smoldering rubble. Standing defiantly before a backdrop of twisted metal and radioactive dust, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei declared, “We may not have any centrifuges, reactors, laboratories, or electrical outlets left, but by Allah, we are not quitters!” Iranian state media hailed the speech as “historic,” noting that while the nuclear program currently consists of a charred toolbox, two AA batteries, and a schematic drawn on a napkin, work will proceed “without delay.” “Our enemies think they can stop us by turning our facilities into craters visible from space,” said Iranian Nuclear Chief Hamid Zarif. “But we have grit. And we have plans to rebuild—just as soon as we can locate some uranium that hasn’t been vaporized.” In a follow-up statement, the government unveiled its new initiative: Operation Nuclear Spirit, aimed at inspiring the next generation of Iranian scientists to dream of reactors they’ll never build. The official slogan: “You can bomb our buildings, but you can’t bomb our dreams.” Meanwhile, satellite imagery confirms that what used to be Iran’s nuclear infrastructure now doubles as a national chain of open-air barbecue pits, prompting one U.S. official to quip, “Iran’s nuclear threat is now mostly smoke—literally.” When asked how Iran plans to move forward, Khamenei hinted at a new secret facility “so well hidden even we don’t know where it is yet.” Analysts predict Iran will announce construction of a new reactor site by next week—or at least a PowerPoint presentation of one. Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

1 Kings 17:2-6 And the word of the LORD came to him: 3 “Depart from here and turn eastward and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. 4 You shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.” 5 So he went and did according to the word of the LORD. He went and lived by the brook Cherith that is east of the Jordan. 6 And the ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning, and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook. Before God’s servants can stand in high places before men, they must first bow low before Him. Elijah, fresh from proclaiming God’s judgment to Ahab, might have felt indispensable to God’s plan. Yet the following command was unexpected: “Hide yourself.” The brook Cherith became Elijah’s place of humbling, where pride was stripped away, self-reliance was broken, and his soul learned the sweetness of depending on God alone. So it is with us. We are often too eager, too confident in our own strength, too certain of our usefulness. But in His wisdom, God leads us to our own Cheriths–hidden places where we learn to trust Him afresh. Shabbat is our Cherith, week after week–not just a pause from labor, but a posture of the soul that says, “I trust You.” It is God’s invitation: “Cease striving. Rest by the brook. Let Me supply your need.” Like Elijah, we cannot stand on Carmel in victory until we have first knelt at Cherith in surrender. Even at Cherith, the brook dried up. Day after day, Elijah watched the stream diminish until the final drop was gone. But God had not forsaken him. The drying brook taught Elijah to trust–not in the gift, but in the Giver. It revealed a more profound truth: when one source runs dry, God opens another. So it is with us. We, too, find ourselves beside drying brooks–when health fades, resources run low, friendships waver, or doors of opportunity close. In those moments, God invites us into deeper rest, into stillness of soul, into unwavering trust. “My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my hope is from Him” (Psalm 62:5). His living water never fails. His grace flows, undiminished by the thirst of generations, unwearied through the ages. The promises of Yeshua (Jesus) remain true, especially in our Cherith moments: “Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst.” (John 4:14). If you find yourself beside a drying brook—take heart! God has not forgotten you. This is not the end. Beyond Cherith lies Zarephath. Beyond this wilderness, fresh provision, new purpose, and greater power await. Hear His voice above the silence: Rest in Me. Trust in Me. Shabbat is His gift—a holy invitation to be renewed, strengthened, and refreshed. Like Elijah at Cherith, hide yourself in Him. Trust His miraculous provision, even when it comes in ways you never expected—as when ravens fed the prophet in his secret refuge. The God who sustained Elijah will sustain you. His grace still flows. His living water has not run dry. Now is the time to be refreshed and renewed—for Cherith and Zarephath were God’s training ground for triumph on Carmel, where the prophets of Baal were crushed and a nation was turned back to God. But it all began with Elijah first learning the lessons of surrender and trust at Cherith! View the full article

Learn what Twelver Shia's are ... and figure out the Spiritual War that is unfolding. Dan 10:11 And he said to me, "O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." While he was speaking this word to me, I stood trembling. Dan 10:12 Then he said to me, "Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. Dan 10:13 But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia. Dan 10:14 Now I have come to make you understand what will happen to your people in the latter days [acharit ha-yamin -- learn this phrase it comes up about 12 times in the Old Testament], for the vision refers to many days yet to come." It's the same spiritual war -- the Principality of Persia (Iran) at war with the God of Israel. We are simply watching it unfold. For what purpose? Jer 49:36 And I will bring upon Elam (ancient kingdom within the borders of Modern day Iran) the four winds from the four quarters of heaven. And I will scatter them to all those winds, and there shall be no nation to which those driven out of Elam shall not come. Jer 49:37 I will terrify Elam before their enemies and before those who seek their life. I will bring disaster upon them, my fierce anger, declares the LORD. I will send the sword after them, until I have consumed them, For what purpose is God bringing a war? To establish His Kingdom! Jer 49:38 and I will set my throne in Elam and destroy their king and officials, declares the LORD. Jer 49:39 “But in the latter days [acharit ha-yamin -- same phrase in Daniel] I will restore the fortunes of Elam, declares the LORD.” The purposes of the war are for RESTORATION OF IRAN to bring them into the KINGDOM! God is fulfilling a cycle -- it was Cyrus (Persia) that allowed the Jewish people to RETURN back to Jerusalem ... now the JEWISH PEOPLE are being used by God to allow the Persians to come back to Him and their ancient homeland! Learn what's happening spiritually -- then your mind will be at ease, understanding God's prophetic plan! Now the question is -- are you actively involved in it? Or just continuing to try and hinder it by purposely not trying to understand what is happening! Be blessed, George

(Worthy Satire) – In a shocking new study that no one asked for, researchers found that conservatives report higher levels of happiness than liberals across every measurable category — including work, family, relationships, pets, hobbies, weather, and even the taste of oatmeal. The groundbreaking findings triggered immediate outrage on social media, with liberals demanding a retraction and accusing the researchers of “happiness shaming.” “This study is oppressive,” tweeted one activist. “I’d be WAY happier if I wasn’t constantly being told that I’m supposed to be happy! Let me be miserable in peace!” Sources say liberal respondents proposed several conditions under which they might feel joy, including: abolishing capitalism, outlawing offensive speech, and ensuring nobody anywhere enjoys life more than they do. Meanwhile, conservatives celebrated the results with backyard barbecues, family game nights, and another round of not caring what Twitter thinks. Researchers are now considering a follow-up study: Why Does Everything Make Liberals Angry? Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article

HONOLULU (Worthy Satire) – In a bold new initiative that blurs the line between pest control and political strategy, scientists in Hawaii have begun dropping live mosquitoes from drones — a program reportedly co-sponsored by the state’s most seasoned blood-sucking politicians. The official explanation claims the mosquitoes are part of a program to curb invasive species. However, insiders say the real goal is to train the insects to identify fresh donors for campaign funds and new taxes. “We figured if the politicians were going to bleed the people dry anyway, we might as well make it efficient,” said Dr. Mahi Mahi of the Institute for Aerial Nuisance Deployment. “These mosquitoes are fitted with tiny sensors that detect voter fatigue and wallets.” Eyewitnesses on the ground reported swarms zeroing in on residents, with the bugs allegedly whispering slogans like “for the greater good” and “temporary tax hikes” as they drained victims. Local officials denied any connection between the mosquito drops and a recent surge in new fees for mosquito abatement programs, calling it “a coincidence as natural as rain in the rainforest.” Environmentalists are concerned about the long-term effects, but political strategists hailed the program as a model for future fundraising efforts: “Why knock on doors when you can just send in a drone with pre-programmed donors?” Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ] View the full article