KimN

Thank you Alan. The faith has been wavering I know. I do believe in him though...and will continue to pray and read his word. Not sure why the 'feeling' is so important to me, except I was hoping it would replace the heaviness and emptiness I feel now. If that would start subsiding, maybe I would not struggle as much???? But I understand what you all have been saying...Faith..regardless of what or how I feel...I have to have faith. Even if I never feel him...he is there. thank you again.... Kim

Thank you for the prayers, I am beginning to see that I need them. I am doing everything I can think of to seek him. I guess I have been waiting to feel him in my life again...but maybe I won't for awhile. I have to fight the thoughts that tell me I won't ever feel him in my life again. It has been 10 years since my husband and little girl were killed. I know I am the one that walked away from God...and it took a long time for me to start looking for him again. I am very sorry for turning my back on him...I never realized how far I had drifted. I am praying, reading the bible...asking him to guide me. I don't know what else to do. It is encouraging reading all the posts on here, helping to build faith but also seeing how many people have questions and that is ok. So here I am...and I iwll keep reading etc...hoping to find him again thank you

Thanks OneLight My boyfriend, David gave me the meditation. He isn't New Age, however he is not a believer in God...I am very conflicted. The more I try to pray or read, the more muddled things become. I know I have to have faith that he is with me...and I do...I am trying

Dear Sister, I was not implying that he was of the Hindu religion. I was trying to show you where meditating with a mantra came from. Since I am not privy to the email, I can not truly understand what his instructions were, nor can I know what form of meditation you used and what the "mantra" was. As I mentioned above, we are to meditate on Him, whether it be His words or what He has done in the lives of someone. Scripture tells us what to meditate on. Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy

Thank you Axe and Onelight. Reverent fear makes sense I guess I just couldn't verbalize or feel that the other night. I have to go with head knowledge for now because I certainly don't feel him within me right now...but I know I will

hi I am fairly new here. Having a hard time 'finding' god again after many years. I have to admit that I still harbor some anger at the world.,. God, someone...but mostly, it is not the anger that bothers me...it is the emptiness. The aching of nothingness. Sigh...anyways...I am taking it a day at a time and trying to look for the good. So a good is I had not been sleeping well at all for awhile....but for 2 nights in a row...with a brief meditation/mantra that David (boyfriend)suggested, I have slept..hard. Feel so much better just because of sleep Someone from the boards here, "man", suggested to study Proverbs and chapters 5,6,7 in Matthew. (He also said to post on the boards to get to know people, so here I am) anyways...I have a question. In the first chapters of Proverbs it talks alot about the fear of God. This may seem like a strange question...but what exacelty is meant by fear of God? My boyfriend was reading with me (He does not believe in God) but has been trying to be supportive as I struggle with reestablishing my relationship with God. David (Boyfriend) asked why we had to fear God, and I just couldn't answer in an intelligent way. I feel a great weight on me most of the time....a curtain of darkness it feels like, and as I was trying to explain fearing God, the darkness got darker. Gets heavier when I try to study the bible...so maybe it is the 'fear of God' that is missing in me...I don't know. But when i couldn't answer this question, that seems so basic...there may be a lot that I am missing. In Proverbs it talks about Fear of God and knowledge....to get knowledge you have to fear God? Can someone explain Fear of God? thanks Kim

My heart is always warmed when I hear young adults asking faith questions, looking for answers. I am far from a teen (teen xs 4) and struggling myself with a lot of the same questions that you present. All I can say is keep searching...keep looking to God and your church leaders for guidance in faith and understanding. I know in my younger years, I would continually read his word and find the answers and/or peace I sought. It is so hard right now to read his word...but I do it anyways, as I have to believe he will talk to me again, as he will you. You just have to be open. Bad things happen in this world and we may never know why they happen. I struggle with that...but for all the bad, perhaps God gives us strength to deal with the bad, and gives us opportunities to help others who are caught up in unfortunate situations Take Care