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I don't even know, I don't really post this for an answer but rather just to get it of my heart because I have no one to share it with... I'm adopted. 19. South Africa is to expensive for me to live on my own and I have to study. I honestly have a really hard time. My adopted parents think I don't hear anything but I am so trained by hearing everything they say because I used to listen how my dad abuse my mom... Why do some people go trough the minimum and othershave to suffer all their life? Whenever I go to someone to talk to they just tell me: stop playing the victim. I don't want to hear that. People don't understand. Why tell someone that went trough and abuse that struggle with finding love by people stop playing the victim... I don't even feel loves when people day that. My adopted parents children absolutely hate me. I hear them talk with my mom thst I'm not their sister. I'm not part of the family. It really hurts. I feel unwanted.. the youngest sibling bullies me..sometimes verbal but mostly by actions... her body language definitely talks. When I try to talk to my parents about my hurt they tell me it's all in my head. I know God is an answer but I sometimes just need a human to support me. Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much. It really hurts. I have to study next year. I got accepted in the university and my parents don't even believe that I'll make it... in one teaching thst I watched it said "your real parents can disown you but not your adopted parents" it seems so true for everyone but I feel like I am disowned but I still live here. Thanks for reading.