I lost the respect of my most valuable friends

[Ovedya]

I saw your blog, dusty.

After clicking through a couple of the links on the left, I wondered if some of the problem might not have been about where those links lead. The first link leads to another blog with a lot of cursing and some graphic material. Are these also blogs that you participate in?

Seriously, I think that perhaps the wrong approach was taken by your pastor. It seems to me that you need some more fellowship concerning the negatives on the Goth scene, etc. I don't know much about Goth, but the obsession with death is really Satanic to me.

But whatever the cause, I believe that you did the right thing in posting the apology. Even better, though, would be to approach each person who vwas offended and offer an apology, hoping to recover their fellowship.

I would say definately open to some fellowship with your pastor's wife, and perhaps a couple of other sisters in the church with whom you are comfortable sharing your feelings; ones who are not so easilly offended, and who understand where you're coming from. Then have a sit-down with the pastor and tell him how you feel with his wife present.

It's my opinion that your pastor went about this the wrong way. It doesn't sound to me like he thought this through thoroughly enough. This is not an affair to get the whole church riled up about. But in the way that he's punishing you so openly, it could be. I believe that he's giving the enemy a way to spread division among you.

But maybe a short break is something you could use after all. You know this might be a good time to be alone with the Lord. Maybe you should play hookey from church this next Sunday, and take the day to spend time with Him. Take a walk with Him somewhere. Open up to Him, and let Him speak to you. You will never be at peace unless you allow the Lord to be your peace.

[Guest dustycanvas]

God-man,

Those blog rings were mentioned in that meeting. To be honest I hadn't thoroughly explored them...I just joined them after seeing a few "like minds"..not those that curse but, some others.

I do not practice the goth lifestyle...I'm just intrigued by them. (that is an issue I need to address, i know) It's a struggle of mine. We all have struggles...mine is just something not as common, as say...smoking or something. Ya know?!

Unfortunately, there is no more "like minds" in my church. It's a small church ( around 100 people) so, I'm an "original" there. Ya know what I mean? I will try to keep the communication lines open with my pastor's wife. I hold the highest respect for her...so, Her opinions are important to me. If I can just get her respect again...then I would be a happier person.

It's jsut right now...I'm feeling like an out cast...at a place where I should feel accepted and loved. It's hard!!

[Ovedya]

I understand that, dusty...Believe me, I do. I've been there myself. Well, like I wrote previously, it sounds to me like you could use a recharge anyway. Open to fellowship with the pastor's wife, and with other sisters if you can. Then take a little "vacation" with the Lord. The best advice that I could ever give to you is just to gain the Lord through this. Whatever you do, at all times, just gain Him. People will always let you down. But the Lord will never let you go.

[Guest dustycanvas]

Your right, I definitely need a recharge. But, my reputation is ruined by whatever those people are saying. Now, I'm this sinful, social reject by there standards. It will no doubt take a long time to change the way they see me now...if some ever change.

[Ovedya]

Your right, I definitely need a recharge. But, my reputation is ruined by whatever those people are saying. Now, I'm this sinful, social reject by there standards. It will no doubt take a long time to change the way they see me now...if some ever change.

Hey, well join the club. We're all sinful social rejects, aren't we?

"Let he who is without sin...." after all.

[Guest dustycanvas]

True.

[ray]

Now that I have a better of understanding what is going on than when I made my first post. I did visit your web site and it did seem a bit weird to me. Although it weord in a good sense all the people who responded seemed to be all faithful to the Lord in my book that is what it is all about. Not about How you or anyone elses dresses. To punish you even after you apologized and changed and made corrections to web site is wrong.

As "Whodine" secular music artist exusse my spelling "The Freaks Come out night"

Every one thaught I was a saint till I shared my testimony.

Most them I shared with still accepted me after my teestiomny others betrayed and backed stabbed me.

But I basicly agree with God-man

Remeber harships are a paathway to peace

The tree which does not grow its roots deeper in the drout to reach more water; will not be able to withstand the next storm when it hits because its roots never grew stronger.

[Guest dustycanvas]

Ray,

I had deleted all the negative links to my site. What you saw was a very edited version.

I have apologized to two of the people. One has graciously accepted and is not angry...the other well, I'm waiting to hear....this is the one that made it a huge ordeal...so, what happens with her will determine what's going to come of this.

It's a wait & see kinda deal.

[stilllearnin']

dustycanvas,

I hear your heart, you have a sweet spirit in all of this. You want to please your pastor's wife and still be her friend, you care about what she and others think of you, you apologized for the hurt you caused, even though it was not intentional.

You have done your part and handled yourself with a lot more grace then a lot of people would have done.

Personally I would have said, 'fine, I'll go somewhere else and lick my wounds' and I would have gone and told my mom and gotten lots of sympathy from her, and I am 20 years older than you are.

Without realizing it you are an example to others in that church, and I hope this doesn't sound too insensitive, but pretty soon someone else in your church will make a mistake and people will forget about what you did and gossip about them instead.

[Guest dustycanvas]

Stealearnin',

Thanks for the encouraging words. It has been incredibly hard to bite my tongue even though I didn't want to cause more drama. The kid in me DID wanna run and "lick my wounds".

Well, I hope those that I inadvertantly hurt can somehow view this the way you do.

Sigh...I just wanna go to church and have friends and eventually get to heaven.