A Rant Against Parenting

[princess2000]

I would like to take a moment of your valuebal time for a pathetic rant from a whiney 18 year old with unfair parents, especially concerning how they raised her little sister.

Like I said, I'm 18, my lil sis is four years younger than me, her school starts at 9:00 in the morning so she stays up till 10 frequently and doesn't wake up until 7:30 at the earliest. When I was her age, first of all, we lived in a different house where we were picked up by the bus at 8 in the morning, but God forbid I was up until 9:00 at night, and God forbid I wanted to watch anything other than Disney, Nickelodian, or Cartoon Network, any show other than those shown on those channels were just plain inapropriatre for children my age, 8th grade. I also had to pay for half of my video camera (which was a birthday presant, which I understand and agree with) and all of my iPod when my original MP3 player broke (from innocent causes, it fell a few times, when my dad reallly started using his and dropped it even less times than I had, his broke too). My lil sis still woke up around 7:30 and since I was always in bed before her I never knew what time she went to bed.

The next year we moved into a new house, my sister and I went back to sharing a bathroom, here's something that happens from time to time: 10:00 at night my little sister comes barging into my room, demanding I go over and flush the toilet since I accidentally forgot. Here's something that frequently happens: I go to the bathroom at 6:00 am, SHE forgot to flush, but she get's on my case if I go into her room to get a hair tie in the morning (oh but she doesn't do it till dinner). Do you know how much trouble I'd get in if I woke her up at 6 to flush the toilet when she can just barge into my room at 10 at night and demand I do the same? She's also been watching Bones for about a year now, a show I wasn't allowed to watch at her age because I couldn't see dead bodies, blood, or sex when I was her age (granted I didn't even know the show existed back then, but if I did I wouldn't be allowed to watch it). I'm not allowed to go into her room without her permission, but she frequently barges into my room (especially when my door is shut) then comlains when she walks in on me changing. If I walk up the stairs behind her, she'll dilberatly stop mid-staircase and won't move until I try and dodge around her then do the exact same thing at the top of the stairs, and when I try and get around her, she goes for my room to block the doorway, possibly enter and lock it. Again, do you know how much trouble I'd get in for pulling a stunt like that?

If she doesn't get her way she'll grab my arm and squeeze really hard or pretend to hit me so I flinch and laughs at me. The few times I've retaliated I've gotten punished. She also exploits my fear of flying projectiles, but if I would throw stuff at her I'd be punished. She gets away with saying mean things about me, but I can't do the same. My parents paid for not one, but 2 iTouches for her, both password protected and they don't even know the password, one she's had since 6th grade. If I had passoword protected anything (other than the obvious online accounts,) when I was her age my parents would have killed me (metaphoricly speaking) then 'asked' to know the password, they don't know the password to her iTouches. They also never take her phone and search her messages while they took mine several times between freshman year and sophmore year to see who I was texting and what I was saying. (I think it's cause they didn't think I could possibly have friends, I had this core group from 4th grade to 8th grade and most of them ditched me when we reached high school, then in high school I formed a new group that's shifted every year and I got a boyfriend freshman year.)

Some facts about us:

8th grade my parents made me go to counciling because they thought I was anti-social, during that time I was diagnosed with ADD, I'm also a bit OCD (new developmet after freshman year) and a smidge of a smidge of a smidge of a smidge dyslexic. I was medicated for my ADD for two years, but the medicine didn't do anything and I hate taking any form of medicine so I stopped.

There is nothing wrong with my sister.

I guess I'm just mad that I have a billion and one boundries, none of them relaiting to my ADD (I don't think my parents notice the other stuff, the only people who have are the ones who notice me eating M&Ms, Skittles, Smarties, gummies and various Cereals) and she has none. I'm also not anti-social because I have friends and a bunch of people like me, it's just my friends and I don't really hang out after school (and neither do my sister and her friends except for one who she's been friends with since Kindergarden).

~Beka

[Isaiah 6:8]

They are not unfair, your just their learning child. They were learning how to raise a kid with you. You are still a kid as well. Trust me though I understand what you are going through I am the oldest of 5 kids and the youngest is 16 years younger then I, and I have seen the same sort of thing. I may not agree with what my mom has let my siblings do, but I am not the parent so I stand back. Its really hard for me since I helped raised most of them. If you are concerned, then pray for them. This is Honoring your parents as we are commanded to. Also if you don't like the rules, your 18 you may move out. Until you do, then you need to respect the rules of your parents house. You may feel like your an adult, but trust me your still quite young.

[~candice~]

Copy what you just wrote and store it in a safe location. In 10-20 years time, when you've had some parenting experience, read it back to yourself. You will see the situation in a whole new light .

Sounds like your parents are learning, like all parents. Maybe they made a few mistakes and are refining their parenting? Is it really THAT bad? If how they treated you was so bad, why do you want them to treat your sister equally? Are you 100% sure you are aware of all the boundaries they put on your sister?

If the worst thing that happened to me today was that I found out my parents didn't know the password to my siblings itouch, and she tried to block me on the stairs, and forgot to flush the toilet, it would be an awesome day!

Time to stop focussing on your sister, it's making you bitter. Appreciate what you do have. Parents who are obviously concerned for your welfare. Won't be long and you will be the parent scratching your head wondering "how do I do this"?

[princess2000]

It's not so much the lack of boundries, I'm actually fine with all the boundries they set for me, I wish they had set them for my sister. My problem is, and I thought of this after I had hit 'add reply' is that my parents are always going on (to me) about how I'm their 'good child' and how they 'never had any problems with me'. Yeah, you didn't have any problems with me because you gave me boundries, I knew how far I could pull the line. I also never had to deal with bullying, why? Because I could let a comment roll off my shoulders, my sister can't let the smallest comment roll off her shoulders, she has to fight everything.

I'm not bitter, I love my life, I'm happy with how I lived it, I'm annoyed that 180 differeces were used in raising my sister and I and the same outcome is expected of both of us, I'd agree with some differences, I'm not athletic, my sister is. I have ADD, she doesn't, I like history, she hates it, reading is a punishment for her, it's not for me, keeping her inside is a punishment for her, unless we're at the beach I'd rather be inside. So differences are important, but 180 differences with the same results expected, then complaining because you're younger daughter has so many problems with her behavior is not...acceptable in any way.

To be honest, I'm 18 yeah, but I'm way more mature than my classmates, the other week I said how parents shouldn't give in to their child's every demand and everyone except the teacher jumped down my throat and said "But the child doesn't have money and can't buy things they want on their own" So? So just because I throw a fit in the middle of a store I should get the Barbi doll I want? They were all like "Yeah" and I was like "No, that makes you a spoild rotten brat because then you throw a fit and expect your way all the time and if you do that in the work force you get fired." I have the same views on disiplen, I mentioned once how if my child deserved it (and obviously not to teach not hitting) I would spank my children, I was spanked, my parents were spanked, my classmates looked at me in absolute horror. Oh come on, I'm not going to abuse the kids!

[Isaiah 6:8]

I think the key here is to remember, your not the parent. You don't know everything. Trust me youthful ideals and opinions will be put to the test and you'll find they are not as simple as you may think.

BTW I posted a similar rant about 6 months ago, and I am now 32 years old and I was concerned about my siblings, and I got similar responses.

[nebula]

Can you talk to your parents about this?

I'm not used to younger siblings bullying the elder, but it does sound like she is bullying you.

Yes, grace and forgiveness need to be practiced and applied, but yet you do have valid feelings that need to be reconciled.

[Guest LadyC]

i hate to state the obvious, but you're 18... you can move out ya know, then you won't have to deal with the daily frustrations of seeing your sister treated with more leniency than you! you can set your own rules then! how long til you're out of school, a month? two maybe? go get a job, find a friend who also wants to move out (or maybe two or three), start saving some money, set your goals, and start looking at apartments or houses for rent.

[hr.jr.]

I would like to take a moment of your valuebal time for a pathetic rant from a whiney 18 year old with unfair parents, especially concerning how they raised her little sister.

Like I said, I'm 18, my lil sis is four years younger than me, her school starts at 9:00 in the morning so she stays up till 10 frequently and doesn't wake up until 7:30 at the earliest. When I was her age, first of all, we lived in a different house where we were picked up by the bus at 8 in the morning, but God forbid I was up until 9:00 at night, and God forbid I wanted to watch anything other than Disney, Nickelodian, or Cartoon Network, any show other than those shown on those channels were just plain inapropriatre for children my age, 8th grade. I also had to pay for half of my video camera (which was a birthday presant, which I understand and agree with) and all of my iPod when my original MP3 player broke (from innocent causes, it fell a few times, when my dad reallly started using his and dropped it even less times than I had, his broke too). My lil sis still woke up around 7:30 and since I was always in bed before her I never knew what time she went to bed.

The next year we moved into a new house, my sister and I went back to sharing a bathroom, here's something that happens from time to time: 10:00 at night my little sister comes barging into my room, demanding I go over and flush the toilet since I accidentally forgot. Here's something that frequently happens: I go to the bathroom at 6:00 am, SHE forgot to flush, but she get's on my case if I go into her room to get a hair tie in the morning (oh but she doesn't do it till dinner). Do you know how much trouble I'd get in if I woke her up at 6 to flush the toilet when she can just barge into my room at 10 at night and demand I do the same? She's also been watching Bones for about a year now, a show I wasn't allowed to watch at her age because I couldn't see dead bodies, blood, or sex when I was her age (granted I didn't even know the show existed back then, but if I did I wouldn't be allowed to watch it). I'm not allowed to go into her room without her permission, but she frequently barges into my room (especially when my door is shut) then comlains when she walks in on me changing. If I walk up the stairs behind her, she'll dilberatly stop mid-staircase and won't move until I try and dodge around her then do the exact same thing at the top of the stairs, and when I try and get around her, she goes for my room to block the doorway, possibly enter and lock it. Again, do you know how much trouble I'd get in for pulling a stunt like that?

If she doesn't get her way she'll grab my arm and squeeze really hard or pretend to hit me so I flinch and laughs at me. The few times I've retaliated I've gotten punished. She also exploits my fear of flying projectiles, but if I would throw stuff at her I'd be punished. She gets away with saying mean things about me, but I can't do the same. My parents paid for not one, but 2 iTouches for her, both password protected and they don't even know the password, one she's had since 6th grade. If I had passoword protected anything (other than the obvious online accounts,) when I was her age my parents would have killed me (metaphoricly speaking) then 'asked' to know the password, they don't know the password to her iTouches. They also never take her phone and search her messages while they took mine several times between freshman year and sophmore year to see who I was texting and what I was saying. (I think it's cause they didn't think I could possibly have friends, I had this core group from 4th grade to 8th grade and most of them ditched me when we reached high school, then in high school I formed a new group that's shifted every year and I got a boyfriend freshman year.)

Some facts about us:

8th grade my parents made me go to counciling because they thought I was anti-social, during that time I was diagnosed with ADD, I'm also a bit OCD (new developmet after freshman year) and a smidge of a smidge of a smidge of a smidge dyslexic. I was medicated for my ADD for two years, but the medicine didn't do anything and I hate taking any form of medicine so I stopped.

There is nothing wrong with my sister.

I guess I'm just mad that I have a billion and one boundries, none of them relaiting to my ADD (I don't think my parents notice the other stuff, the only people who have are the ones who notice me eating M&Ms, Skittles, Smarties, gummies and various Cereals) and she has none. I'm also not anti-social because I have friends and a bunch of people like me, it's just my friends and I don't really hang out after school (and neither do my sister and her friends except for one who she's been friends with since Kindergarden).

~Beka

I agree with you. It is extremly unfair to your sister that your parents did a good job of parenting you and have done an awful job parenting your younger sister. You are blessed that you were reared to be responsibe. Your sister will suffer the consequences later in life for being reared to be an irresponsible brat.

[Guest LadyC]

I agree with you. It is extremly unfair to your sister that your parents did a good job of parenting you and have done an awful job parenting your younger sister. You are blessed that you were reared to be responsibe. Your sister will suffer the consequences later in life for being reared to be an irresponsible brat.

wish i had thought to say that!

[princess2000]

i hate to state the obvious, but you're 18... you can move out ya know, then you won't have to deal with the daily frustrations of seeing your sister treated with more leniency than you! you can set your own rules then! how long til you're out of school, a month? two maybe? go get a job, find a friend who also wants to move out (or maybe two or three), start saving some money, set your goals, and start looking at apartments or houses for rent.

There aren't many good paying jobs for someone without a high school deploma let alone a collage degree, besides it doesn't bode well for my dreams of being a history teacher if I can't even pay for collage. Besides, all the friends I would want to live with/can stand for more than 3 hours are either sophmores, juniors, or going to collage as well

I agree with you. It is extremly unfair to your sister that your parents did a good job of parenting you and have done an awful job parenting your younger sister. You are blessed that you were reared to be responsibe. Your sister will suffer the consequences later in life for being reared to be an irresponsible brat.

Thank you

~Beka