Waiting2BwithHim Posted October 8, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 248 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 373 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 113 Days Won: 5 Joined: 04/18/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/10/1963 Share Posted October 8, 2011 First let me start off by saying I know what you're feeling because at this moment I am going through the same thing. I know it feels like it is crippling you when you feel helpless as to what to do. Some people that are like this handle it differently and what works for one may or may not work for another. My first advice is be careful in the advice you choose to take because the advice you take has to suit what you are comfortable with. If you aren't careful you may end up worse. Second advice is that if you end up being put on any medication ALWAYS start at the lowest dosage and for a trial period of no more then a month or 2 to see how you feel. I especially know this one because the doctor I had literally almost killed me off. I started out with 1 500mg tablet per day of Depakote. It started working fine. I saw her for the course of a year. Within that year she felt it was necessary to keep upping my dosage and how often. I was telling her NO i didn't want to do it. I had to take matters into my own hands with this because this medicine was making me hallucinate BIG time. This medicine on 2 different occasions almost had me hit by a car twice when I was going to the pharmacy. The Lord watched over me and spared my life. I knew I had to do something and I didn't see her anymore, I weened myself off of the Depakote, I also found another doctor. Just because they are the doctor they believe they always have the correct answer of you and know what's best. You need to listen to YOU. I learned that when you listen to yourself you are in trust. I am also a private person and I don't trust easily. I can't handle failure easily either. But i learned also with what I know is from God and knowing he is with me (as he has proven with the 2 car incidents) you are a child of his that his loved. He made you for a reason that if you don't know why he certainly does. Your answer is there but you may not know what it is at this time. When you are feeling the way that you do now if it were me and it is in a way right now... Go in a room all by yourself for however long it takes, try to relax your mind while squeezing something that is hard in your hand(s). You should if it works for you get rid of a lot of tension and built pressure you are feeling. Talk to God also while doing this and let him know that you would like his guidance in this. Do this with sincerity because he knows your struggle and what you are going through. He just may be waiting to see if you will talk with him. I hope this helps and remember do what is good for you. Please let us know if this helps. PS. I'm not seeing any kind of doctor for this because I have been led to many times the wrong way. I seem to be handling things fine or at least better for now. The only thing I will be doing is maybe to see a counselor (therapist) so that I may talk and get some of whatever is pent up inside out. Good Luck and God Bless You I'll pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kasey777 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Well, I am not bi-polar but some of your symptoms definately sound like an anxiety disorder...are you really sure about that diagnosis?? The inability to handle stress...difficulty in comprehension at times...issues with rage...that can all be attributed to anxiety... I am a Pastor and a Counselor....in my experience Bi-Polar Manic Deprepressive Disorder in a "yo yo" type thing and there does not need to be an agent / aggravation in order to trigger bi-polar responses. Typically a person is very "up" or very "down", there is never an even settled sensation of emotion...meaning there is never peace, also a part of bi-polar is paranoia, an attitude that "people are trying to hurt me"...whearas in anxiety the feeling is more " I feel uncomfortable or people are looking at me" kind of sensation. Both my son and myself had issues with "rage" when we were young, if we didn't learn something quickly OR if we experienced physical pain....rage would ensue. I learned to harness that rage monster by going to a quiet room. I taught my son the same thing and he was successful at harnessing it as well. We are both A.D.D. with Mild Autism... For us, a quiet place, no noise or loud music helped a lot. Also, having our living space in "order" helped us feel like we were in control not the "chaos". I might suggest finding your quiet spot, getting rid of any "clutter" in your living space and if you live with other people, have them keep the sound down. The calmer your space is, the calmer you will be. Then when something happens that triggers anger or rage, take a deep breath and repeat a comfort statement over and over again, mine was "Jesus has Control" and I would keep saying it out loud or in my head until the rage subsided. The good news is that I have only had about two anger / rage episodes in the last 20 years and I do not take any meds. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waiting2BwithHim Posted October 9, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 248 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 373 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 113 Days Won: 5 Joined: 04/18/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/10/1963 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Here is a link from the Mayo clinic that talks about everything that has to do with bipolar. Anxiety can be part of the mania in bipolar. Like I said before please do what feels right for you and try to search the subject out and see what best describes you best. The wrong diagnosis can lead you into worse trouble. If you seek doctors on this research them out to the best of your ability. If you have questions throughout this never be afraid to question. It is you that you are trying to help. It's not what others say that will let you know what is best. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bipolar-disorder/DS00356 Here is also a link about bipolar in general from a Google search. http://www.search-results.com/web?qsrc=2352&o=100000052&l=dis&dm=&q=bipolar%20disorder&atb=sysid%3D406%3Auid%3D20867bc38e3845b2%3Auc%3D1317158842%3Asrc%3Dhmp%3Ao%3D100000052%3Aq%3Ddefinition%2520of%2520bipolar A thought that just entered my mind is that do you know anyone else that may be bipolar that you can to comfortably? I have come across more people that don't have it and try to tell you that you're just crazy or they try to tell you that you're just imagining these things because they don't know what to say or how to react . You're not crazy, or a freak of nature, or anything else a person may say if they do. You are a human being with feelings like anyone else. You are unique in your own way and loved for sure especially by our Lord. If you can find someone that you can talk to about this I'll bet you're already heading in the right direction. And one last note that I was thinking about is that you mentioned being angry..to release the anger try one of the following if you have one like i said in my last post get one of the rubber hand grip balls and squeeze out the tension or maybe you can go to your room and just swing your arms as hard as you can until you can't anymore as if you were hitting someone. (just don't hit anyone for real ) You will find that by the time you can't anymore that you tired yourself out and exerted a lot of pent up extra energy. I would like to offer you that if you would like to talk about it with me if I am of any help to you please PM and I will see what I can do. When I was first diagnosed in 2004 I was scared to death because I knew something wasn't right. I never even heard of bipolar before that. If I wasn't diagnosed when I was I would have landed myself in jail. This is one way I know more then ever the Lord exists. I'm so sorry every time I think about or share this with anyone because it is not something I am proud of at all.. but I didn't know I had bipolar at the time either and when I was married I literally almost killed my now ex-husband twice. Bipolar IS NOT and I repeat the importance IS NOT anything to mess around with depending on the degree of what you may have. I praise my Lord for being with me those 2 days and thank him for giving me the chance to hopefully help someone else that may have this by sharing my story. So that is my part of the rage that i had. Please get some kind of help and remember that if you would like to write please do so. Let us here at Worthy know how you are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoofly08 Posted October 10, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1988 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 First let me start off by saying I know what you're feeling because at this moment I am going through the same thing. I know it feels like it is crippling you when you feel helpless as to what to do. Some people that are like this handle it differently and what works for one may or may not work for another. My first advice is be careful in the advice you choose to take because the advice you take has to suit what you are comfortable with. If you aren't careful you may end up worse. Second advice is that if you end up being put on any medication ALWAYS start at the lowest dosage and for a trial period of no more then a month or 2 to see how you feel. I especially know this one because the doctor I had literally almost killed me off. I started out with 1 500mg tablet per day of Depakote. It started working fine. I saw her for the course of a year. Within that year she felt it was necessary to keep upping my dosage and how often. I was telling her NO i didn't want to do it. I had to take matters into my own hands with this because this medicine was making me hallucinate BIG time. This medicine on 2 different occasions almost had me hit by a car twice when I was going to the pharmacy. The Lord watched over me and spared my life. I knew I had to do something and I didn't see her anymore, I weened myself off of the Depakote, I also found another doctor. Just because they are the doctor they believe they always have the correct answer of you and know what's best. You need to listen to YOU. I learned that when you listen to yourself you are in trust. I am also a private person and I don't trust easily. I can't handle failure easily either. But i learned also with what I know is from God and knowing he is with me (as he has proven with the 2 car incidents) you are a child of his that his loved. He made you for a reason that if you don't know why he certainly does. Your answer is there but you may not know what it is at this time. When you are feeling the way that you do now if it were me and it is in a way right now... Go in a room all by yourself for however long it takes, try to relax your mind while squeezing something that is hard in your hand(s). You should if it works for you get rid of a lot of tension and built pressure you are feeling. Talk to God also while doing this and let him know that you would like his guidance in this. Do this with sincerity because he knows your struggle and what you are going through. He just may be waiting to see if you will talk with him. I hope this helps and remember do what is good for you. Please let us know if this helps. PS. I'm not seeing any kind of doctor for this because I have been led to many times the wrong way. I seem to be handling things fine or at least better for now. The only thing I will be doing is maybe to see a counselor (therapist) so that I may talk and get some of whatever is pent up inside out. Good Luck and God Bless You I'll pray for you. My family doctor and psychiatrist are working with me to find a working combo of meds. I have tried many that do nothing and some that made everything much much worse. What I'm on at the moments may actually be helping a bit. I'm on a very low dose to start because I needed a break from all the side effects of the last med. I'm not very good at confontations or objecting so if my doctor or psychiatrist are not listening to me-which sometimes happens- I bring my Mom who makes sure they are listening to me. And ultimately what meds I take and my therapy are up to me though I make sure to run everything through my parents to make sure it makes sense. I'm sorry for all the side effects youve been through over the years. I know from experience the side effects can be worse than the condition itself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoofly08 Posted October 10, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1988 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 Well, I am not bi-polar but some of your symptoms definately sound like an anxiety disorder...are you really sure about that diagnosis?? The inability to handle stress...difficulty in comprehension at times...issues with rage...that can all be attributed to anxiety... I am a Pastor and a Counselor....in my experience Bi-Polar Manic Deprepressive Disorder in a "yo yo" type thing and there does not need to be an agent / aggravation in order to trigger bi-polar responses. Typically a person is very "up" or very "down", there is never an even settled sensation of emotion...meaning there is never peace, also a part of bi-polar is paranoia, an attitude that "people are trying to hurt me"...whearas in anxiety the feeling is more " I feel uncomfortable or people are looking at me" kind of sensation. Both my son and myself had issues with "rage" when we were young, if we didn't learn something quickly OR if we experienced physical pain....rage would ensue. I learned to harness that rage monster by going to a quiet room. I taught my son the same thing and he was successful at harnessing it as well. We are both A.D.D. with Mild Autism... For us, a quiet place, no noise or loud music helped a lot. Also, having our living space in "order" helped us feel like we were in control not the "chaos". I might suggest finding your quiet spot, getting rid of any "clutter" in your living space and if you live with other people, have them keep the sound down. The calmer your space is, the calmer you will be. Then when something happens that triggers anger or rage, take a deep breath and repeat a comfort statement over and over again, mine was "Jesus has Control" and I would keep saying it out loud or in my head until the rage subsided. The good news is that I have only had about two anger / rage episodes in the last 20 years and I do not take any meds. Blessings Interesting insight. Im diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. my rage tends to exist only inside me-ie I dont express it in any outward ways. I have found that getting away from the dorm and batting some baseballs helps get my mind off and takes away some of the stress, tensed muscles etc...Just finding someplace to get away from everything seems to help the best. I have found a prayer room on the 2nd floor of our dorm nobody uses is a nice peaceful spot for me-nothing cluttered or homeswork to distract. I have also found doing assignments at one of the private library study stalls helps a lot. Thanks for all the advice!! I'm glad you and your son were able to find constructive ways to deal with the rage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoofly08 Posted October 10, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1988 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 Mental illness is no new thing to my family. anxiety and depression are extremely common. My aunt is bipolar and panic attack prone. My uncle prob was too but he was never diagnosed-he lives in the streets on vancouver...I'm not seeing my counsellor anymore. I dont have issues I need to work through. my bipolar moods are not caused by anything I do or think though i realize there are things I can do to help trigger episodes. My anxiety is also something i dont need to analyze but find practical ways of lowering and limiting its affect on my life. I go to a faith based support group for mood disorders-anxiety, depression, and bipolar. It's called Living Room. I find it amazing how comfortable I feel there, everyone understands what I'm going through without me having to explain. Thanks for all the links and encouragement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoofly08 Posted October 10, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1988 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 Well i had about 3 weeks that were relatively enjoyable with a stable mood at school which is the longest I've enjoyed myself in 3 years. Not being able to go home on Thanksgiving has been hard on me-homesick and frusterated. i had one really bad night. luckily Ive always been able to talk myself done from panic and from doing anything really stupid. Thanks to God anyways. I have to try very hard not to make rash decisions because of my ever changing emotions. If i still feel like I need to go home by Monday then I'll make arrangements. With bigger assignments, teaching Sunday School, and midterms coming up my anxiety disorder has sure flared up some. mostly just feel overwhelmed all the time. I have a paper I have to write so wish me luck. I'm going to the prayer room where there is no stuff or distractions. It has helped me in the past. I also need to spend 1-3 hours in silence for my Spiritual Formation class. that should be intersting. I used to spend so many hours doing just that but now 1 minute sitting still is a struggle. I hate yoga and breathing exercises and progressive relaxation but they sure do help. Anyways, anyone else suffering from anxiety feel free to comment or rant below. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodLover86 Posted October 18, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 21 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 8 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/16/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted October 18, 2011 My counselor doesn't seem to know much about bipolar disorder. Last semester I only attended because my parents want me to and I was only able to drag myself to the appointments each week. This semester I have been able to tear down the remaining walls and be completely honest and vulnerable with those around me. So when I go to counseling now, I have questions that need answering. I actually want to get something out of it this semester but so far she hasn't helped. Maybe next week will be better. I know there are a lot of people here with bipolar who have had it way longer that I have. The question I kept asking her about at our first appointment was about my extreme irritation. i am a completely private person though I have been gettting better over the years. My family calls me a conservative bipolar because I go through the whole range of emotions and yet no one will notice. I keep it all inside, or at least used to. When the extreme agitation or irritation is at its worst, I don't know what to do. I want to yell and scream and swear at people around me for no reason. I want to throw things and make the outside world just as chaotic as the chaos inside of me. I don't. I used to channel this irritaion/frustration/anger at myself. Which would lead to major depression. It was not healthy. I don't do that anymore but I do not know how to release it. I'm stuck with all these emotions inside me. My skin is on fire, my body hurts, I feel like I'm going to explode. I've tried running, wearing myself out playing soccer but it only leaves me physically exhausted and stilll too irritated with everything to cope. I've tried punching walls which gives me come relief. Luckily I'm pretty wimpy so I don't break fingers or anything. I kinda wish there was a punching bag at the school. I'm hoping my parents might set one up i could use over the summer. Anyways, my question of the week is, what do I do with all the pent up aggression and irritation??? There has to be some kind of non-destructive or even constructive outlet for it. Help please!!! I need answers and advice from people who have experienced this same thing!!! I have to say that your Bi polar behavior is completely normal in my opinion. I am also Bi polar. Some of things you are describing are bi polar but I also think you could have a great deal of anxiety going on too. For a while I had to take Bi polar med along with Anxiety med to get anything to level its self out. With being bi polar, our emotions are always up and down and we can never explain why or what sets them off and that can be really difficult. I use to calm my nerves by reading or doing different art projects and just being alone (away from other people) for up to 24 hours because anything would set me off. I know from experience that praying can often have a calming effect. I will be praying for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoofly08 Posted October 19, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1988 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I have to say that your Bi polar behavior is completely normal in my opinion. I am also Bi polar. Some of things you are describing are bi polar but I also think you could have a great deal of anxiety going on too. For a while I had to take Bi polar med along with Anxiety med to get anything to level its self out. With being bi polar, our emotions are always up and down and we can never explain why or what sets them off and that can be really difficult. I use to calm my nerves by reading or doing different art projects and just being alone (away from other people) for up to 24 hours because anything would set me off. I know from experience that praying can often have a calming effect. I will be praying for you Thanks. I hope and pray you are having a good week as well. I do suffer from anxiety, I see my psychiatrist on Halloween and am going to ask about anti-anxiety drugs. Thanks for the advice! =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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