Guest Brother Steel Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Hi, I like and need some help and advice. It concerns some of my friends. I don't know what do, nor how to act nor respond. What options are opened for me??? The problem is this: Some of my friends just seem to say just 'hi' or 'hey' or even 'whats up??' to me a lot. Yet, I open up and we just start talking. What bothers me is that they say or do this alot with me and then they go up to others and just simply say 'hi' and just initiate talking and sharing with other friends. Yet....with me, they just say 'hi' or 'hey' a lot....like its a conversation opener. Is it me??? Or is them??? Or is it us both??? Sometimes I sense and feel they do this to get my attention or have me to start the talking. True, a lot of times I'm very open,fun-loving, and talkative. Other times I'm kinda deep,introverted,quiet and also like to listen with others too. Like a cross between a Sanguine and a Melacholic(the temperaments). So what do I do???...how to I act\respond??? when this sorta thing happens??? I have asked some of these friends about how I feel and also if they are mad or even uncomfortable with me??? My friend Omar, for example, says 'no, but I'm a straightforward kind of guy and if I'm mad or uncomfortable with you....then, I will let you know'. if this thing happens again: (a) ignore them.....when more than 2 'hi ya' or 'heys' occur. (b) acknowledge them...and even wave to them...then move on. © ask them whats up with this continual saying 'hi' or 'hey' to me while just simply going up to other friends and others and talking with them. (d) tell them 'hi'...and then, that I will talk with them later. (e) open up and just start to talk with them. Yet, I don't want a one-way sided friendship with Omar, Melissa, Tony, and others. Where I do a lot of the initiating. (f) other options, things. Thank you new user name--> Jonah Big Fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusisGod2 Posted October 2, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,065 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/29/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/03/1958 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Hello Brother, Its really kinda tough giving any advice on this, especially with only limited knowledge but I will give it a shot. It sounds to me as if you are a little self conscience on this and reading too much into it. I know this because it reminds me of myself when I was younger and in fact still suffer a little from, (it can get to be depressing) where we talk ourselves into something that really isnt even happening. Perhaps your friends intentions were that they had origionally had something to say to the person that they end up talking to and in order not to be rude they acknowledge you as well with a Hi, hello , or was up! I dont personnally think they mean anything by this, from what I understand of what you have written. So acknowledge there hello and move on. If they in fact are being rude and for no reason, then pray for them, as a matter of fact pray for them in either case, God will bless you and strengthen you. Ask God why this is happening and what He is trying to tell you by what you percieve. You see God has given us all special gifts and until we learn from Him how to hone and use this gift to His glory, we can become very confused by it. Perhaps God has given you a gift of perception, not for the purpose of passing judgement but for the purpose of displaying His glory and to know what to pray for. Perhaps your gift is exortation, it seems that those who have this gift are able to see people differently than others and able see others faults more clearly than some, again not for the purpose of passing judgement but for the purpose of restoration. You are sensitive to others spirit and I would suggest you get before God and ask Him in prayer, in study, in seeking Godly council, that would help you understand better. It doesnt sound as if these friends are intentionally trying to cause any friction. I hope this helps and look forward to your response. Maybe we can help each other on this issue, as I too suffer from self conscienceness, and perhaps we can help each other understand the gifts and callings that are from God. And by the way Welcome to the Worthy Boards! We look forward to your fellowship! In Jesus, Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Brother Steel Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Thank you, Kevin by the way, my name is close to Kevin. Its Kent or Ken. I like to go by the name Doctor Williams..... well, cause of 2 reasons: I always liked to be a doctor of some kind of profession. Secondly, I had a real cool and funny physics professor by the name of Doctor Williams. And he was from Scotland too. I have asked our Lord about whats going on???? I don't really know why some of my friends are acting like this with me......where at times it seems I do a lot of the 'initiating' and talking in these friendships and some of them seem like they are relying on me or even expecting me to do this. While, they talk and share and do the initiating with others....but with me, they tend to rely on me or expect me to do it a lot. Some of the things that the Lord has shared with me are these: (1) to rely and focus on Him first....to be and continue to be my first,closest and ultimate friend. (2) not place anybody on the pedestal as the be-all, end-all of all my friendships....whether family, good friends, other friends, and others. (3) that I have my family and friends...and also loved ones in heaven too. Yet, though I have this need for family and friends.....that there will be times to place this need on hold or not for this need to get a hold of me. Inorder to love and like my family and friends and I can be myself and allow the Lord to shape and mold me more like His Son. And also especially if I'm having problems with them and to hopefully resolve these problems with them. (4) growing pains, disagreements, even arguments among family and friends. Yet with a lot of patience,longsuffering, kindness, and forgiveness too. I wish and hope our Lord will tell me how to act\respond with the above questions I had. Maybe He wants me to learn by doing and experience.....and as well as rely and trust in Him more. That my confidence(full trust and confidence) is in Him....whether in good times, bad times, in-between times and even the blah times too. I'm being weaned off this acting and viewing of family,friends,others as all that matters to me. That, they are people like me and not on the pedestal and just love and like them and in and with Christ. Problems, bad times, disagreements as well as good times will come and go with them as we live in an imperfect world...and with imperfect people. Brother Steel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusisGod2 Posted October 3, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,065 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/29/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/03/1958 Share Posted October 3, 2004 Amen Brother, It sounds like the hand of God is leading you and it is good that you have questions. Keep in prayer and keep your focus on Him, He will continue to guide and teach you. You are from Scottland, huh? I listen to a Scottish preacher every morning who is really annointed by the name of Alistair Begg, ever hear of him? Here is the link in case you are interested. I have been blessed by his ministry. He pulls no punches when it comes to preaching Gods word and adds a little humor as well. God bless you brother and keep the faith! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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