Marriage outside of a christian church?

[Fr Chuck]

First, there were not during Jesus time, a "Christian" wedding, as a matter of fact, a wedding was not done at the temple, but nomally in the home.

But the entire thing was different, at the time they were enganged, then the legal requirements took place. Normally the goom would wait a year while he build and made ready a place for him and his bride to live.

Then he would come with his friends to get the bride and take her to his home.

The actual "contract" was between the family of the man and women to arrange the marriage.

What is a sin, is to live togehter without being married. It does not matter if it is a civil marriage or a church wedding.

A wedding by its nature is civil, the pastor is merely the one who is allowed to sign off on the legal agreement.

Now, if a couple are Christian, they should want the marriage blessed by God, why would they not??? So a Chriistian couple would want the marriage performed by a minister, But often these are done outside, in a park or about anywhere you can image.

[apothanein kerdos]

As long as there is a gathering of believers, or it is in front of Christ, then it is a valid marriage.

Civil marriages would not count? I know some Christians who are remarried following divorce and keep talking about how it is civil marriage, not in church. I dont see how that would be different in God's eyes.

FYI, I am not saying anything for or against those of you who are divorced or remarried. I am not a judge of that situation at all. Please do not take my words like that. I am merely curious about what people think. I was married in a church, by our pastor. But I had a strong urge to elope 3 weeks before the wedding...parents etc, you know. Planning a wedding and doing an internship....stress level was high. To me, civil or in church, it doesnt matter in God's eyes, it is still a marriage.

Oh absolutely. I was just working under this paradigm. I mean, really, a ceremony isn't needed to be married in God's eyes....the ceremony is more traditional.

[Kabowd]

Oi..to clarify what I was saying..yes...the "church" is really the body of believers, so I wasn't meaning in a "church building" perse. I meant surrounded by family and friends who would celebrate the moment with you. I agree that if it's "legal" (unlike Britney's..lol, and the papers are actually signed and filed)...then I believe you are certainly married in God's eyes. What I was emphasizing, though, is that personally I wouldn't want to do a "drive-thru" type wedding. In my opinion, the binding of two ppl together for a lifetime is a covenant worthy of a grand ceremony and celebration. I also tend to think that when the going gets tough in a marriage, it might help remembering all those ppl you made your vows in front of...and realizing that they were witnesses to your committment to eachother. Kind of an accountability thing I guess.

This makes me think of this ceremony-thing that several of my brother's male friends and himself participate in. Whenever one of their sons or brother's are around the age of entering adulthood, they will have kind of a manhood ceremony for him. It's a big deal. Only men who are close to the boy (or his father) are invited and each man is asked to speak a certain word over the boy. Then they meet in some special place, focus all of their attention on the boy, speak their words of encouragement and challenge him in certain areas like purity, love, leadership, etc and present him with symbolic-type gifts. From what I hear...it's a really powerful event for all involved. Anywho....particularly with the area of purity, they challenge him greatly in this area and vow to hold him accountable for remaining pure. Every single guy that I've known who has taken part in one of these (which, if I remember right is 6) are still virgins or remained a virgin until they were married, and all of them attribute it back to the impact that this little "ceremony" had on their life. Whenever they are in the heat of temptation, they remember the faces of those men in that room and the disappointment they would feel if he were to give in. I'm really not big on "traditions", but to me...this just shows an example of how a ceremony can enhance a committment.