1peterlight Posted March 6, 2013 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 28 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 116 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted March 6, 2013 Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joi Posted March 6, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 506 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 1,922 Content Per Day: 0.41 Reputation: 173 Days Won: 4 Joined: 06/12/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted March 6, 2013 lostandconfused2, now that you have some input from us, what are your thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandconfused2 Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/01/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Two questions: How old are your children? Is your husband a believer? They are grown up now, thankfully. Yes my husband is a believer, He knows alot about the bible. I have no family that can help me through any of it, I'm always the one that helps and supports everyone else but alone in my own endeavors, the truth is they all say leave him and stay gone and ask me how do I let him continue to treat me that way , even the kids say he has no love in him, I don't even have to tell anyone what is going on, they see his interaction or lack there of when were together. It was like this before anything ever happened, it is no different now, other then now he can justify his behaviors. as for me, through all of this I've changed, the walls are down that I had built up to survive and adapt and I'm more vulnerable then ever, I have tried to apply what I have learned through counseling to no affect . I know I hurt my husband and can never undo that, I know I will never do that again I would rather die, I hate what it has done to me and my family and my self worth. I even hate going anywhere that I may know people, because all I can imagine is them thinking there is the "cheater" I'll never be able to hold my head up again. I also am aware thats the demons trying to keep me from believing in Gods grace. I continually try to keep in mind on how my husband must feel, yet at the same time i'm being beaten down by the lack of affection and communication that builds a relationship up. I'm trying to live by faith, the emotional pain gets so heavy at times I just want God to take this burden from me because I do believe most days I'm not strong enough to bare it. Have you ever gotten so beat down feel so alone and vulnerable that if a someone came up and hugged you , you would just break down because you went without that human touch/interaction for so long that your body just screams for it? Thats how I lived each day before the affair years ago, and thats how I live today. I want to believe this is all going to work out, God has a plan, the only thing I beg for is God to give me comfort and the strength to bare this on a daily basis. I have told God I could not bare it then and because of that I failed, now I'm having to endure it all over again. I thank each of your for your input, I'm grateful for each and every word, I want to grow stronger in my faith and learn from my mistakes, sometimes we cant see what were doing and constructive criticism and input can sometimes hopefully more often the not get us turned in the right direction. Right now I have to work on believing God does love me , he has a plan . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted March 7, 2013 Right now I have to work on believing God does love me , he has a plan . Some more questions... Lostandconfused2 have you heard of narcissism? Is it possible that your husband has severe issues such as this? You say your husband is not a nice person at times. Do you mean he is abusive? Some encouragement from God's Word: Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Hebrews 2:18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. Praying sister for strength and wisdom from God for you today. God bless, GE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandconfused2 Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/01/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'm going to work on not owning that sin no longer and letting it consume me, Psalms 103 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. there is a song that has this in it that just brings me to tears, I often need reminded because I beat myself up all the time over things In your shoes I think I would tell God that I do not trust my husband and what he does, so I am going to trust You [God] for him and his behavior. Then act as if everything is in the hands of God because it is - you just put it there. As long as you grovel at your husbands feet begging for forgiveness is just how long he will hold that power over you. Let it go. God has forgiven you, now your husband must make a decision as to his actions I think I need to do exactly that, Let it go , if my husband can't forgive me, I will need to find away to let that go also, if he chooses to justify his lack of commitment and desire to make this marriage work, I need to let that go also and just give it to God and make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and following God. I know I will have days i'm weak on this so bare with me if I have a meltdown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandconfused2 Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/01/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 my husband is emotionally/mentally abusive, in the past it was sometimes physical, now just mentally/emotional, to be honest I would rather be beat up then hear the things he says, wounds heal, words replay over and over in my head. and Thankyou for the scripture, I think I'm going to make it a picture and make it my background screen on my pc for the time being, it was very comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted March 7, 2013 my husband is emotionally/mentally abusive, in the past it was sometimes physical, now just mentally/emotional, to be honest I would rather be beat up then hear the things he says, wounds heal, words replay over and over in my head. and Thankyou for the scripture, I think I'm going to make it a picture and make it my background screen on my pc for the time being, it was very comforting. Courage Sister! Deut. 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Josh. 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Comfort… 2 Cor. 1:3-7 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. 2 Thess. 2:16-17 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word. God bless you! Praying. GE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1peterlight Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 28 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 116 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted March 7, 2013 If I were close I would surely give you a hug ((( ))) You're husband may know the bible but I find it hard to believe he is a believer if he is as cold as you describe. Knowing the word and absorbing it are different. I really do suggest you find another pastor or minister to discuss with. Or even a godly woman you can trust at your church. Maybe the pastors wife. I say this because if you start pouring your heart out to a man and especially your relationship, your husband might take issue with this. I pray for you. Is there anything else you can do that you haven't done already? Keep looking at it all as a test of faith, and keep strength in the Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandconfused2 Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/01/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 I don't think my husband wants to be cold I think he has his own demons he battles, maybe from the way he was raised. I do know he isn't willing to learn new ways, and until he is willing there isn't much hope other then to hang tight. right? thanks for the virtual hug , I'm glad I shared, I was scared to because I wasn't sure I could handle the input I might get, I do talk to a christian lady and she keeps telling me God is character building with me to hang tight. I do talk to the Pastor occasionally and he knows both sides and is at a loss why this continues other then my husband heart is hardened to the point he can't receive the lesson God is trying to teach both of us. and we will continue the cycle til the light bulb goes on. someone want to flip that switch for us? apparently we can't see in the dark to well to find it ourselves. (just kidding, well maybe not) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joi Posted March 7, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 506 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 1,922 Content Per Day: 0.41 Reputation: 173 Days Won: 4 Joined: 06/12/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted March 7, 2013 It sounds to me that you are getting a grip on some of what has been said here and that is good. If you husband was abused in his past that may well play a part in what he has become in his life. Should this be the case he needs to embrace forgiveness to those who hurt him and let it go. Our Father, who loves you beyond belief sees and knows all the woes between the two of you. Many men find it difficult to expose the hurts they have endured because often it leads to them breaking down and crying and they see that as a weakness. It is not weak, it is the beginning of a life of relief and freedom in Him, if they will allow God to work in them. I pray that your husband will seek the help he needs whether from our Father directly or through counseling. God loves each of us enough to give His Son as a sacrifice for us. That love is huge. While I was typing I saw a notice that another post had been logged, so we were posting at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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