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Worn down and don't feel like I can try anymore


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I've been through so many difficult things in my life and my most recent difficulties have me feeling like giving up and just not trying to do anything but survive anymore. I've been dissapointed and hurt so many times. This sounds terrible I know, but this is my third marriage - my previous two husbands were verbally and emotionally abusive and one was an alcoholic. My second husband passed away when my daughter was 3. I've raised 3 of my children mostly by myself. My sons Won't have much to do with him for good reason. I'm 2 years into a new marriage with a Christian man and we have a one year old together. I thought because he was a Christian and because we both prayed about Wherher we should even get involved with each other it was finally a good relationship but at first he was verbally abusive and we separated and I had our baby on my own and have taken care of him mostly alone. We are back together and he is better and changed a lot but it has been nothing but problems and heartache for the entire time we have been married. What in the world do I do now? I'm so dissapointed with my life and feel so hopeless. I'm having some trouble with my 15 year old son too - and no help with him from anyone. It's all so overwhelming.

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I meant my sons won't have much to do with their dad, my first husband - left out a few words. Sorry.

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Sorry to keep adding but I'm also afraid my husband is going to just leave. He has threatened to at times.

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Shann...When it gets overwhelming for me, I take it one minute at a time...then it's not so hard...at least I try to remember to do that...I've lived in a relationship, before I asked God into my life, that was all about drinking and partying...He was very very verbally abusive...all I wanted to do was love him and tell him the truth (it's like I confessed my whole life to him which I found out in 20/20 hindsight wasn't such a smart thing to do-he wasn't a Christian at all period) he ended up using everything I had told him about my life against me, over and over again...Eventually God led me to AA...and I even told someone that I knew casually, about Al-Anon-she started going to meetings and she said it saved her life...eventually from AA, the seed was planted...and it is really where I started service...Didn't know why I was doing it-but I was picking people up to go to the meetings...I was fixing the coffee...I was setting up the meeting room... I found The One True God...only after I hit total bottom (I was 10 months dry) and there was no way but up...I've been to that place of utter hopelessness...and almost took my own life without God...He saved me that day-only after I cried out to Him for Help!!! He is Able!!! 

 

Only after being born again...was I changed by God...and it's His Word that renews our minds...There are 3 parts of us trying to line up with God!!! Our spirit, our mind and our body...

I have found The Only Hope I Can Rely On and Trust In-Is In God!!! But it's so hard to see at first...this is a journey and we can't give up...ever!!! Not ever!!! We want to...there are times even now I go through great battles...and I've been at this a while now...the enemy is doing double time...my mind is doing double time too-if I don't keep it in check...but Who Is Greater? Greater is He Who Is IN ME...(IN ME!!!) Than he Who Is In The World...Getting my eyes on Jesus!!! Reading His Word That Tells me What Is In me!!! He saves my life over and over again!!!

 

Glad you are here and there is HOPE!!!

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Thank you for sharing that!! God has given me new hope today and I can now see past the darkness. I have no idea what my husband is going to do, but I know I can trust the Lord and whatever happens I will be alright. I'm going to place all my energy and focus on Him and, remember he is my source, not my husband or anyone else. Thanks for listening and responding when I felt so defeated!

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Hi Shannk , I sure will keep you in prayer , I know how hard it can be not to see that things will turn around , ,but the Lord said he will work it all out for our good . 

 

Romans 8:28 28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
 
We don't see thing's the way that God doe's,and when we don't understand it's easy to let doubt creep in there , just know that God love's you and hear's you , he know's your struggles and for what ever reason , don't give up , keep praying , stay in his word and look ahead ,  :mgcheerful:
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