ShannK

Thank you for all your advice! It helps so much to hear different opinions. I think I accidentally left out an important bit of information, though. On the weekends he stays at his parents house an hour and a half away to see his kids who live near there. Our families haven't blended well but that could be a post in itself. there are a lot of things wrong. Kwik, you said something interesting. Only I can decide if he is the one God has for me - or something like that. Do you believe it's ok to end a marriage if you believe it was a mistake and God didn't really put you together but you put yourselves together? Or, like my husband says, according to God's Word there's no excuse for not sticking it out except infidelity? We talked last night and we have decided we are either going to end our marriage and try to remain friends or try to stay married but live separately. He can't seem to handle a busy household and I have problems with some of his attitudes etc... But if we didn't have to live together maybe things would eventually work out? My real problem right now I think is trying to figure out if he is really that bad of a communicator - he often says I misunderstood him - and just immature - or if he's purposely misleading me. if its the former I feel like there's hope as God works in our lives. Thank you for praying for me! I really need wisdom and discernment. I am very confused. I know you can only offer opinions based on what I've told you but it really helps to talk this out.

Thank you Rusty, I am going to be doing a lot of praying and seeking God. I know thats the right thing to do even though I'm so unsure about everything else right now and have been questioning everything I thought I believed. Im so tired of it all. I can't even think straight after talking to him sometimes. He has a way of turning things around and then I am just tired and confused and want the conversation to end. - he does have a good side but it just doesn't last.

I did not have to confront him after all. He decided to go to his mom's instead of coming home to try to talk. He didn't like that I was busy with kids - mine and ones I babysit when he wanted to talk.

Thank you Fez! I will do that.

Bopeep, That's one place where I have been so confused. I don't understand how or why he does what he does. Or how he can be a christian and not walk in love. Hes often critical and negative about people. Sometimes it's really like he's two different people. He can be positive and sweet and things can be great but then the next week he may be negative withdrawn and hateful and not a thing has changed to cause it. - I am and have been praying.

Thank you bopeep and man for your replies. Probably just what I need to hear. I do feel like I need to put a stop to this. Confrontation is hard for me - please pray for me? I have to face him about this this evening. Yes, booeep, I am a Christian and he is a Christian. We did marriage counseling when we first married but the counselor focused on communication and not other issues. She did suggest he attend individual counseling once but he didn't like that idea and then we quit going altogether. I insisted on counseling when he moved in last time but we only went once. Thank you again! I needed reassurance/confirmation that what I've been thinking I should do is right. And support so I don't give in.

This is a long story but I will try to keep it short. I have been married almost 2 years but the longest we've lived together is 6 months. I have done everything I can do but he is never happy and has been verbally emotionally abusive at times. Mostly at the beginning of our marriage. He says he's sorry, makes promises, but it always comes back to the same thing - he's not happy and can't live with me and our son and my kids from previous marriage. He has been unhappy without me, wants to move back in together then within a couple weeks moves out again. This has happened twice since our original separation when I was almost 9 months pregnant. He won't do counseling and doesn't follow through on things. Blames me for things as well that arent my fault and questions my motives and beliefs. Sometimes makes demeaning remarks. My dad says he's very immature and I need to say enough is enough. Ever since we got married I have found myself confused and questioning everything I believe and who I am. He is getting ready to move out again after only 2 weeks and hasn't even been here on the weekends and wants us to still see each other and be together. Any advice on what I should tell him? I'm really worn down from all of his back and forth and unhappiness. He has frequent pity parties and keeps me up really late sometimes explaining the details of his feelings and what he thinks is wrong etc... I can't continue to live like this. (Sorry if I've rambled.) Any advice as to what I should say to him?

My husband has been struggling with depression. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help him?

All the verses shared here have been very encouraging and good reminders of what I forget sometimes. I have been going through many trials the last two years. My husband often thinks he is going through trials because he has done something wrong and he's not a good person or not as good as he ought to be. What would you say to that?

Great explanation Kwik! I like this answer too

Oops! Sorry about posting twice!

I think this makes sense but at the same time, like some of you already said, I'm not sure if it would work with all kids. If you tried it and it didn't work with your child, would it confuse them to then use more traditional discipline such as a spanking or losing a privilege?

I think this makes sense but at the same time, like some of you already said, I'm not sure if it would work with all kids. If you tried it and it didn't work with your child, would it confuse them to then use more traditional discipline such as a spanking or losing a privilege?

Thank you for sharing that!! God has given me new hope today and I can now see past the darkness. I have no idea what my husband is going to do, but I know I can trust the Lord and whatever happens I will be alright. I'm going to place all my energy and focus on Him and, remember he is my source, not my husband or anyone else. Thanks for listening and responding when I felt so defeated!

Sorry to keep adding but I'm also afraid my husband is going to just leave. He has threatened to at times.

I meant my sons won't have much to do with their dad, my first husband - left out a few words. Sorry.

I've been through so many difficult things in my life and my most recent difficulties have me feeling like giving up and just not trying to do anything but survive anymore. I've been dissapointed and hurt so many times. This sounds terrible I know, but this is my third marriage - my previous two husbands were verbally and emotionally abusive and one was an alcoholic. My second husband passed away when my daughter was 3. I've raised 3 of my children mostly by myself. My sons Won't have much to do with him for good reason. I'm 2 years into a new marriage with a Christian man and we have a one year old together. I thought because he was a Christian and because we both prayed about Wherher we should even get involved with each other it was finally a good relationship but at first he was verbally abusive and we separated and I had our baby on my own and have taken care of him mostly alone. We are back together and he is better and changed a lot but it has been nothing but problems and heartache for the entire time we have been married. What in the world do I do now? I'm so dissapointed with my life and feel so hopeless. I'm having some trouble with my 15 year old son too - and no help with him from anyone. It's all so overwhelming.

I don't know the details of your situation but I have been in unhealthy relationships myself. I actually went from one to another and what I have learned is you are much better to get out of the situation as soon as you can. Things tend to get worse, not better - Unless the Holy Spirit is at work in both of you. Also, remember God says not to be unequally yoked. May God bless you and give you clear direction in your situation. I am praying for you.

Thanks Angels! I so needed to be reminded of that. I have been feeling so overwhelmed by life that I lost that perspective for a while. Praise and thanks to God for beginning to pull me out of this defeated place I've been.

I like that - no matter how bad things get it is just an illusion- and that when we think things are going well and we are doing ok - that can be an illusion too if we think we do not need Christ or need Him as much. I too, tend to depend less on Him in good times - maybe why I'm going through what seems to be so much bad right now? To bring me back where I need to be? Relying totally on Him. Thanks, I really needed to hear that today!

Thank you! Just what I needed to be reminded of!

Anybody have any advice on how to protect my daughter from this? She is 7 and in public school. What are some practical things I can do now that will have a lasting impact as she grows up?

I enjoyed reading this and wish I'd seen it a year ago when I was dealing with a lot of false humility within a relationship. It would have helped clarify things for me

I also want to say what else really concerns me about the evil we see today is the lack of concern about it. For the most part, People, even the christians i know, just seem to accept it as the way things are even if they don't agree with it. Or maybe they just don't know what to do about it. What do you think?

I have also felt pretty much the same. It seems overwhelming what our children are growing up in and what a big job it is to teach our children what's right despite what the rest of the world is doing and saying. I find myself not knowing how to respond when a relative behaves in an ungodly way in front of my children. Especially when the relative sees nothing wrong with their language or behavior. Even my husband can be harsh and use words that are less than encouraging and loving. He is a Christian but does not yet understand the importance and power of our words.