Guest carebear Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 I need help. I have dated a guy since I was sixteen years old. I am now 23. He broke up with me a month ago, but didnt give me a real reason. I found out he is hanging with a bad group. He also has developed an alcohol problem. He has been drinking at work and driving home! I love him so much, but he has been treating me really badly the past few weeks. All of my friends tell me to leave him alone and he will realize how much he needs me. We basically grew up together. He has done some rotten things to me, but I don't want to let go. He said we may have a future together, but right now he just wants to have fun. Can anybody help me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Constant Posted March 20, 2005 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 128 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,946 Content Per Day: 0.28 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/06/1979 Share Posted March 20, 2005 He needs the Lord and you can help bring him to realize that. I am sorry for what you are going through. The Lord helps in many ways. I will pray for you and for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest carebear Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Thank you. I need as many prayers for him as possible. I dont know what has come over him. I am terrified that something terrible is going to happen to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding God (angel) Posted March 20, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 31 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 372 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/20/1990 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Pray for him.Tell him how you feel rather he likes it or not.He may know you care but he may not know how much.Does his drinking scare you?If it does tell him it scares you.I am going to pray and if the Lord tells me something about this situation I will let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest carebear Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Thank you so much! I tried to find a website where I can gather prayers for him around the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad Ernie Posted March 20, 2005 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,802 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/29/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/01/1945 Share Posted March 20, 2005 I need help. I have dated a guy since I was sixteen years old. I am now 23. He broke up with me a month ago, but didnt give me a real reason. I found out he is hanging with a bad group. He also has developed an alcohol problem. He has been drinking at work and driving home! I love him so much, but he has been treating me really badly the past few weeks. All of my friends tell me to leave him alone and he will realize how much he needs me. We basically grew up together. He has done some rotten things to me, but I don't want to let go. He said we may have a future together, but right now he just wants to have fun. Can anybody help me? Greetings CareBear, You haven't told us anything about yourself. I presume you are a Christian and following the Lord? What is the extent of your relationship? Were you just "dating" or were you more familiar with him? How much do you love Jesus? Do you love Jesus more than your boy friend? Having been around all those twists and turns in my youth, I can look back and just cry that I didn't have a relationship with my Savior at that time. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and foolish mistakes. I think you personally need to get hold of Him and let Him comfort you and direct you. Blessings, Dad Ernie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted March 20, 2005 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 733 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,017 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/09/1966 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Carebear, I know your pain. Your story screams with familiarity. I dated someone who developed an alcohol problem and treated me badly. We are not together anymore. It got to the point that I had to end things. She was bringing me down with her... fast. (My friends were scared for me because I was blind to everything going on around me. I loved her so much!) I'm not saying this is what you should do, but I am saying that its of the utmost importance that you cling to God and seek Him in this. Ask God what you should do, and, just as importantly, what you should not do. You asked for our very best advice and I'm giving you mine from first-hand experience. First, I want to tell you that I'm so very sorry for the pain you are in. I know how much it hurts. It can get unbearable! I hurt so badly that I felt it physically. The thoughts that you could help him if he would just let you. If you could just get him to see that if he stopped hanging around those people, he would see how much you mean to him. I know those thoughts because I thought them until they drove me crazy. But we can't fix everything. I am just Keith, a man, not the Holy Ghost, Jr. So, my advice? Back-off for awhile. I'm asking what seems impossible, I know. If you don't give him space right now, you'll smother him and he will come to resent you. He needs this space to find out a few things for himself. Things like what his lifestyle is doing to him, who his friends really are, what you really mean to him, and, hopefully, where he stands with God. He needs to learn that he is responsible for his choices as well as the consequences that go with them. As far as your relationship goes, you need to take this time to strengthen your's with God. In turn God will strengthen you to walk through this. PUT GOD FIRST! If you put your boyfriend first, he becomes an idol in your life. Love your boyfriend enough to do this for him and you. Pray for him earnestly. Let God fill the void you're feeling. Only He can anyway. Tell Him exactly how you feel. No need to mince words because He knows it all already. Just give it all to Him and trust Him to put the pieces back together. Trust His decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgolvach Posted March 21, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 110 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,254 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted March 21, 2005 Indeed pray for him! Protect yourself. My mother married an alcoholic. Your 23. She suffered his antics until she was 63 when he (my father) died. Her children suffered too. It takes more than love to make a happy marriage. My mother loved him. Shes now 77 and has never known a relationship that wasn't abusive. Pray for him but don't allow yourself to be mistreated. Your discription of his treatment of you seems like a red flag. Stay in the company of good Christian friends. Perhaps he might change. I will pray for you both. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 2r1 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Carebear I do indeed feel and know your pain. Please, never stop loving him but you must release him. First give him to God and let go. Next, contact someone from AA. They are in the phonebook. These are God fearing people and will know the right words to say to him. I pray to God for your strength in letting go of someone you care so much about. Unfortunately, he has to find his bottom. May God bless and keep you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 2r1 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Carebear I do indeed feel and know your pain. Please, never stop loving him but you must release him. First give him to God and let go. Next, contact someone from AA. They are in the phonebook. These are God fearing people and will know the right words to say to him. I pray to God for your strength in letting go of someone you care so much about. Unfortunately, he has to find his bottom. May God bless and keep you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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