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How do I stay married but seperate financial lives?


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My husband and I share extremely different values for making money. Even our writing styles as writers are very different. He writes about children being murdered in serial novels, and I write Christian Children's stories. His son is an aspiring rap artist and he is devoted to anything his son creates. I could not be on board with songs about weed, sex, etc. I don't know how we can have peace, and proceed as a couple, except that we draw a line in the sand and separate financially. I've heard of prenups, but we don't even have money yet, in large amounts. I really don't want to wait until we cross that bridge, because it already looks like we have a problem with this area. Is it possible to legally establish financial individuality once you've already gotten married?

The conflict is that we have just registered a DBA, and paid for a EIN, to use for marketing his works as a writer, and labeling his works. He has been very much in the background in doing everything, but the actual writing, so when the representative asked us who's social security number should the EIN be attached to, I said it should be me. This was a quick decision, based on how he always pushes me to the forefront to handle business calls, and research. Now, I am concerned because we have such a conflict in values, concerning money and creativity, that when the topic comes up, it is a very big issue. I don't want to be intertwined in his business ventures, profitable or not, based on his values. I need help. I need good advice.

Another thing, is that I tithe and he is random on that. I just want us to be individuals in this area from the beginning. But how?

(Thanks Willa. )

 

Edited by newlife2017
trying to answer willa and dont see a reply button
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Is your husband a genuine Christian?  You spoke of "his" son.   Does his son profess Christ?   Are you his second wife?.  If you are, it can be very touchy.  Some people do not want a second spouse interfering in the way they raise "their" child and it can cause a lot of problems in a marriage.  If you have a second income, I suggest that you tithe from that.  As for the rest of your objections, you need to sit down with him and discuss the fact that you are very uncomfortable to be financially supporting things that violate your conscience, ask for his advice, and ask him to pray for you about it all..   I am not a lawyer and cannot give any kind of legal advice concerning splitting your finances.   What I can give you are Bible verses that have helped me to become a better wife to my husband.

1Pe 3:1  Amplified Version:  IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, 1Pe 3:2  When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

1Pe 3:3  Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; 1Pe 3:4  But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.

1Pe 3:5  For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].  1Pe 3:6  It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].

Eph 4:21  Assuming that you have really heard Him and been taught by Him, as [all] Truth is in Jesus [embodied and personified in Him],  Eph 4:22  Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion;  Eph 4:23  And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],  Eph 4:24  And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. {Do this by reading your Bible daily, especially the New Testament}

Eph 4:25  Therefore, rejecting all falsity and being done now with it, let everyone express the truth with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one body and members one of another. [Zec 8:16]  

Eph 4:26  When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.  Eph 4:27  Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].

Eph 4:28  Let the thief steal no more, but rather let him be industrious, making an honest living with his own hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need.

Eph 4:29  Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.

Eph 4:30  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).

Eph 4:31  Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

Eph 4:32  And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Praying that God heal your marriage and that you both build it upon Christ.

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