How do I cope with an alcoholic husband?

[Guest moe]

I have been married to my husband for 6 years. I knew he had a problem with alcohol, but I married him anyway thinking my dedicated life as a Christian would influence him to change. I was an immature Christian who should have known better, and probably did deep down. Anyway, I would like to believe that I have matured some in 6 years, but it is too late to change the decision I made. I love my husband very much and he is great in every other way than spiritually, which I know is the most important. He is never abusive when he drinks and he does hold down a full time job with no problems. However, I have 2 small children, and I worry about the affects alcoholism will have on them spiritually. I once heard a sermon on the punishment of sins of the father being passed on to the children, and I fear that my influence and teaching may not be enough. My husband claims to have accepted Jesus as his Savior, but I don't know. Only God does I guess. I'm also struggling with the feelings I have towards my husband. Although deep down I love him, I find it hard to respect him. I struggle with resentment as I feel he should be my spiritual leader, especially since he claims to be a Christian. Sometimes when he drinks too much he disgusts me so much that I go to bed just to get away from him. I have little desire for him sexually. I pray, pray,and pray! Anyone out there have any other suggestions on what to do?

[Leonard]

I really have no suggestions, but I assure you, my beloved Sister, YOUR PRAYERS ARE EFFICACIOUS! From now on, we will mention your husband in our morning and evening prayers EVERY DAY.

A husband who is a good provider, and good to the children is himself a TREASURE. Don't let this failing overshadow in your mind, his good qualities. All of us have our 'besetting sins.'

Speak with him frankly (not rudely), AND PRIVATELY about your concerns of the effect seeing him drunk could have on the children. Ask him to consider only drinking away from the children, say, after they are in bed, or in a separate "Do Not Disturb Dad" room. This could be an important first step.

Every blessing, my Sister. Please feel free to PM me any time.

[WayneB]

Bless you moe.

I am the son of an alcoholic and the grandson of an alcoholic. I do not drink for that very reason. Your concerns regarding your children are very real but being honest with them as they grow older will open their eyes to the horrible effects of alcoholism. I remember going with my mother to pick up my father's truck so he wouldn't drive home drunk...and I was only 13 years old.

Your dedicated life as a Christian will influence him but you and I both know the only One who can change him. Your husband is in a trap...an addiction. The only thing that will free him from his addiction is a personal encounter with the Holy Spirit.

I am sure that you have but have you told your husband what his drinking is doing to you and your concerns for the effect it is having on your children? Does he understand that he cannot easily undo the damage that his drinking is causing? Mostly though? Continue to lift him up in prayer! Don't just pray for his drinking to stop but rather pray for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

As with any cronic sin condition, it is important to put first things first. He needs to be filled with the Holy Spirit and the "casting out of unclean spirits" will be automatic. Otherwise, we risk ...

Matthew 12

43 "Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it.

44 "Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came'; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order.

45 "Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and (B)the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation."

I am so convicted that we must put First Things first.

So pray for his salvation. Pray for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

[Guest strike]

Hi Moe,

I'm sorry but I'm new here and having a problem posting and so this will be short.If itworks then I will post a longer version. First you look in the phone book for an AA Alcoholics Anonomis listing and call and ask for a codependency meeting or a meeting for spouses of alcoholics and GO TO IT. You are a good woman and your husband is a good man and he has a disease and can only be treated if he wants to be.

Lets see if this works moe and I'll tell you more it it does.

Via con Dios

'strike

[Guest strike]

OK Moe that worked and so a littel about me.

I am an alcoholic and drug addict, Lawyer and a Christian. Yes you can be a christiane and be an alcholic. How you say? Well can you have cancer and be a christian? Yes will this is a disease also and it is of the mind and body. Both have to be treated. What your husband is going through is what i did for most of my adult life and it lasted until I crashed the final time and hit bottom. I lost my wfe and almost my home and kids. I hurt them all so bad and it was all my fault. I can not go back and so I had to let it go. I'm fine now but always in danger of a relapse if i take that one drink or one pill. My problem was mostly presciption medication but it was big. You can get as messed up on it as on Heroin etc. I me and lived with the Street people. The poor and homeless this last time out. I had to go and see where I was going and infact it was just right there. I kept my home and my wife and get tolerated each other the kids are fine but have issues with me still but most of all I'm me and dealing with things for the first time in decades with a clear head. It takes about 4 months to get it all out of your system before you can start to see what you have done. I went through 3 rehabs before this last one and right out them I went to a doctor and got more drugs. I wasted about 3/4 of a million dollars on drugs and doctors I would say.

Go to your meeting that I told you about above and they will explain more to you than I can here buy go. I know your hurt I see it in my wife's eyes. He will come around but he needs AA and GOD and they are not mutually exclusive as I learned. Doctors have this disease,Priests Rabbi's Ministers kids white black yellow men and wome all have this disease. It does not discriminate I think You have my email address with this note but just in case it is john_thompsonjr@yahoo.com. Email me and let me know how you are doing and if you found a meeting and if not I will help you. You will find others like you and lean on each other and your husband may end up checking this out and stop drinking. Stay by him as he needs you more than you both know at this moment. Do not take anything he says to heart as it is the booze talking. Protect the kids as much as you can and pray and god will help. You can pick up an AA book at the meeting and leave it in the open for him to stumble on. Do not leave it in an obvious place but someplace where he will be accident see it and pick it up and read. Some people just need that and he will be seeking help with you.

Let me know Moe as I care. I blew my marriage but perhaps can help save yours

Via con Dios

Strike

[Sadiebug101]

I think u need to talk to him..........