Rosanne Posted November 21, 2002 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 62 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/13/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted November 21, 2002 Dear People on this forum I need your advice and quickly too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtahfarr4 Posted November 22, 2002 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 108 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/21/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted November 22, 2002 Dear People on this forum I need your advice and quickly too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsth Posted November 22, 2002 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 297 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 5,586 Content Per Day: 0.69 Reputation: 193 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/09/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted November 22, 2002 I agree with the above advice, only to add: Have you considered counseling from your pastor? Â For both of you? Â If your husband is serious about his love for you, I think he would be willing to go with you for counseling. In His Love, Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Levi Posted November 22, 2002 Share Posted November 22, 2002 Well Rosanne, most of your post had to do with a theological disagreement and you haven't provided too many other details. Does the whole thing center around this man and his beliefs??? If so then it would seem that, yes, you are jealous of this man and that jealousy is ruining your marriage. Jealousy can really make a personal irrational as it really puts you on the wrong channel. What are those heresies you speak of??? Maybe you are wrong about that. Tell me, do you accept your husband the way he is or do you try to mold him into what you think he should be? That'll do in a marriage for sure. It is not necessarily wrong for your husband to disagree with you. If you want him to agree with you so bad that you are willing to divorce him if he doesn't, then that's a problem don't you think??? Maybe you are being a little too dogmatic? Sorry Rosanne but to really judge the matter it really is necessary to know a whole lot more and also to hear your husband's side of things. You could very well be just as wrong as you think him to be. It takes two to make a disagreement and both sides have their view. Are there children involved??? I pray you can make the right humble and loving choice as God speaks to your heart about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
For Him Alone Posted November 22, 2002 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 38 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 396 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 17 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/04/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/26/1961 Share Posted November 22, 2002 Roseanne, I remember what hell this man has put you through from your posts over the past months. I was there, and i escaped with my sanity. Do not go back until healing has taken place. I have a theory, I call it The Spoiled Milk Theory. You have this milk, see, and it's really GOOD! You love this milk and drink of it often. One day, though, the milk has a little film on top of it. you shake it up and drink anyway. A few days later, you open the milk and it STINKS. Really a stench. You know if you partake you will be sick. But it used to be so good! You can't bring yourself to get rid of it! ill you stick it back in the "fridge for a few months and ignore it, hoping that it will become good again after a little time? Of course not. You understand that it cannot become good again. Such is true of marriages, too, with the exception that if over time, some true digging and healing and change takes place, the marriage CAN be healed. But he has not changed, Roseanne. he's just realizing he's lost his punching bag, and he doesn't feel like a man unless he has you to kick around. Insist on counseling. Lots of it. Pray. DO NOT go back because "you love him". He needs to learn how to love. If he can, If it is God's will, you will know. If you see repentance and a Godly attitude from this man, try to repair the marriage. if you do NOT--he is unworthy of you and is not a man of Christ. I'll be praying for you. Don't be his doormat, Roseanne. You deserve real love. :inlove: Â You deserve to be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Levi Posted November 23, 2002 Share Posted November 23, 2002 Roseanne, I remember what hell this man has put you through from your posts over the past months. I was there, and i escaped with my sanity. Do not go back until healing has taken place. I have a theory, I call it The Spoiled Milk Theory. You have this milk, see, and it's really GOOD! You love this milk and drink of it often. One day, though, the milk has a little film on top of it. you shake it up and drink anyway. A few days later, you open the milk and it STINKS. Really a stench. You know if you partake you will be sick. But it used to be so good! You can't bring yourself to get rid of it! ill you stick it back in the "fridge for a few months and ignore it, hoping that it will become good again after a little time? Of course not. You understand that it cannot become good again. Such is true of marriages, too, with the exception that if over time, some true digging and healing and change takes place, the marriage CAN be healed. But he has not changed, Roseanne. he's just realizing he's lost his punching bag, and he doesn't feel like a man unless he has you to kick around. Insist on counseling. Lots of it. Pray. DO NOT go back because "you love him". He needs to learn how to love. If he can, If it is God's will, you will know. If you see repentance and a Godly attitude from this man, try to repair the marriage. if you do NOT--he is unworthy of you and is not a man of Christ. I'll be praying for you. Don't be his doormat, Roseanne. You deserve real love. :inlove: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest leejosepho Posted November 23, 2002 Share Posted November 23, 2002 Rosanne: Peace to you! Levi has a point that should be considered, although it does appear there are others here who already know the details of your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
For Him Alone Posted November 23, 2002 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 38 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 396 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 17 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/04/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/26/1961 Share Posted November 23, 2002 Don't scold me, Levi. This woman has been severely mentally abused by this man. I know from whence I speak, and she DID ask for advice, which i gave as best I could with adequate knowledge of the situation. I stand completely by what I advised. Her guilt and feelings of second-class citizenship because of this man could cause her to make a bad decision that could ruin the rest of her life. If he refuses counseling, she must get on with her life. Without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Levi Posted November 24, 2002 Share Posted November 24, 2002 Sorry, I don't mean to scold you FHA, it's just that I know from experience that from two people in a relationship, you get two different views of things. Have you heard the husband's side of the story??? For all I know he may feel that she is the one abusing him. I just am personally convicted that unless you know the whole story from both sides, you should not be advocating one side over the other let alone a marriage break up. A forum like this is a good place to present your view and get people to side with you, because all they know is your side. If she is really serious about reconciling the marriage, she will seek counsel from a fair and unbiased qualified person, someone who can point things out not only about the marriage relationship and the sins of her husband, but her faults as well, which I'm sure she has just like the rest of us. Maybe you are right, but I'm not gonna make that call when I have only heard a one sided argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosanne Posted November 25, 2002 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 62 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/13/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted November 25, 2002 Thanks people as I am seeking the Lord's will in the matter as I want to do what He wants me to do as He knows best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts