Reconciliation....

[Constant]

This is a good question, let's narrow it even more so.

After 10+ years of marriage, you find out that your spouse has cheated on you, when confronted about it, s/he admits it, displays true regret and remorse, and earnestly seeks your forgiveness, as well as the Lords.

Now, do you forgive him/her?

Do you divorce?

Or do you forgive, and stick it out?

Tough one, especially if you picture your significant other in the arms of someone else. But to forgive them, and yet still seek a divorce... does that truly show God-like forgiveness? Despite human philosophy, to forgive IS to forget. Jesus doesn't keep tabs on our past sins, nor does He trust us any less with His sacrafice.

Also keep in mind, if you go ahead with the divorce, then you are only sending the unfaithful spouse down a road that will lead to further sin, shame, and guilt.

As difficult as it is, if my wife were to cheat, then seek true repentance (which means not only earnest forgiveness for her mistakes, but also the complete 180 degree turn from sin) then I would forgive her, and try and help her heal from her sins.

My concerns would be for the sinning women I love, rather than my own broken heart, my tears will be wiped away when I enter the kingdom for all eternity, but her sins will cost her her soul.

JMHO. Have fun!

(P.S. My wife would never cheat!! LOL!)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am living proof that forgiveness in a situation such as a cheating spouse is the right way to go. If, the spouse is deeply sorry and repents, then why shouldn't one forgive? GOd forgives us for much worse things.

Some people make worse mistakes than others. It is what you learn from them that counts.

[Sisterchick]

You may still get the ticket even though you're sorry, but you're not drug out of the car, and told to walk, and to go somewhere other than home.

You can't just whip out your wallet and pay for the fine right there, either. Most states make you go before a judge and do traffic school AND it affects your insurance premiums.

But by the path you seem to be choosing, you would not be loving your enemy. We're not commanded to "stand against the enemy" but rather pray for them, and love them.

Who said that I would quit loving them and praying for them? And, besides the "enemy" I am referring to is Satan, not my spouse. I repeat... Satan is the enemy and he comes to steal, kill and destroy. With infidelity, something is stolen, killed AND destroyed.

Paul teaches that the unbelieving spouse is purified by the believer. If your spouse was tripped up in sin, making them leave could only drown them in regrets and sorrows, which when not handled carefully can lead to more sin, and poor choices.

So, what about Jim Baker or Jerry Falwell? Were they unbelievers?

But I wouldn't make it a long separation, maybe a week, after that they can sleep on the couch, the floor, or in the basement until further steps are taken to heal. I wouldn't want my kids thinking that I was a hypocrite, forgiving their mother, but not letting her come home to make things better.

A week? I'd still be crying after a week! --- Are you a cheater? Because, surely you can't be serious? I think you might be confusing tolerance with forgiveness. I'm not Hilary Clinton.

[Guest turtle04]

Would becoming involved with someone else after a break up be a betrayal of trust? Is there more than one way to look at that?

Thanks for the advice!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Edited August 26, 2005 by turtle04

[Guest turtle04]

Would becoming involved with someone else after a break up be a betrayal of trust? Is there more than one way to look at that?

Thanks for the advice!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just a bump. Any thoughts on this?

[Guest Working4Christ]

You may still get the ticket even though you're sorry, but you're not drug out of the car, and told to walk, and to go somewhere other than home.

You can't just whip out your wallet and pay for the fine right there, either. Most states make you go before a judge and do traffic school AND it affects your insurance premiums. .

And the unfaithful spouse will sit before the judge one day too, and they will either go to jail for eternity, or enter the kingdom of God. I for one want to help them reach the latter. The cop isn't the judge of the speeder, just as we aren't the judges of sin, God shall be.

But by the path you seem to be choosing, you would not be loving your enemy. We're not commanded to "stand against the enemy" but rather pray for them, and love them

Who said that I would quit loving them and praying for them? And, besides the "enemy" I am referring to is Satan, not my spouse. I repeat... Satan is the enemy and he comes to steal, kill and destroy. With infidelity, something is stolen, killed AND destroyed. .

But the enemy is attacking your spouse, do you let Satan win, and clinch your spouse and drag them into the pits of hell? No! Fight Satan the evil one, by drowning him in the Love of Christ!!

But I wouldn't make it a long separation, maybe a week, after that they can sleep on the couch, the floor, or in the basement until further steps are taken to heal. I wouldn't want my kids thinking that I was a hypocrite, forgiving their mother, but not letting her come home to make things better.

A week? I'd still be crying after a week! --- Are you a cheater? Because, surely you can't be serious? I think you might be confusing tolerance with forgiveness. I'm not Hilary Clinton.

[Joy in the Journey]

My concerns would be for the sinning women I love, rather than my own broken heart, my tears will be wiped away when I enter the kingdom for all eternity, but her sins will cost her her soul.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How do you figure ? That's not Biblical [ him/her being lost forever for their sin ] if he/she has repented before God

Don't follow your line of thinking,

Tim

[Constant]

Just another thing I want to add:

If your spouse came to you and told you of her infidelity, that is one thing. But if you find it out from another source, what is that saying about your spouse? If your spouse truly is sorry and has repented and etc... she/he will come to you first and tell you. Guilt sucks big time!

[Guest Working4Christ]

My concerns would be for the sinning women I love, rather than my own broken heart, my tears will be wiped away when I enter the kingdom for all eternity, but her sins will cost her her soul.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How do you figure ? That's not Biblical [ him/her being lost forever for their sin ] if he/she has repented before God

Don't follow your line of thinking,

Tim

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tim, read the entire thread, and then you will understand the context of my post. Of course I am refering to the unrepentant heart.

[Guest Working4Christ]

Just another thing I want to add:

If your spouse came to you and told you of her infidelity, that is one thing.  But if you find it out from another source, what is that saying about your spouse?  If your spouse truly is sorry and has repented and etc... she/he will come to you first and tell you.  Guilt sucks big time!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have you ever did something, and felt it was better to keep it to yourself rather than tell someone for fear of hurting them?

You can be sorry and still not come clean on your own.

I had a nephew that tried smoking, and felt really bad about doing it, but he didn't tell his parents for the fear of hurting and disappointing them. Did they still feel remorse? Of course.

Thanks!

[Constant]

Just another thing I want to add:

If your spouse came to you and told you of her infidelity, that is one thing.