Reconciliation....

[Guest turtle04]

Hey guys! I wasn't only asking about infidelity in marriage, although I have read some good advice. What if you are in a relationship for a couple of years, you break it off, become involved with someone else,...is that a betrayal of trust for the one you broke it off with?

[Constant]

Hey guys! I wasn't only asking about infidelity in marriage, although I have read some good advice. What if you are in a relationship for a couple of years, you break it off, become involved with someone else,...is that a betrayal of trust for the one you broke it off with?

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I don't think that it is. What would be the reason for the break?

[Guest turtle04]

Hey guys! I wasn't only asking about infidelity in marriage, although I have read some good advice. What if you are in a relationship for a couple of years, you break it off, become involved with someone else,...is that a betrayal of trust for the one you broke it off with?

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I don't think that it is. What would be the reason for the break?

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Thanks for replying Constant! The reason for the break up was because of his treatment to me during our relationship, basically he was very judgemental and verbally cruel to me. And also the last 6 months we were together I was really wanting to talk about marriage and the possibility of having a baby together one day, which he said would never happen, it wasn't even open for discussion later (I begged to please not close the door on the possibility), but he was very adamant and even told me that I needed to find someone else. After the break up, he did come to me and apologize for his treatment of me and said he had changed. I didn't believe him, and I became involved with someone else. (Mistake). I really do think he has changed and I love him so much, he says he loves me and will love me forever, but because I became involved with someone else, we cannot be together. That is why I asked the ? about betrayal.

[Constant]

You didn't betray him. You left him because he wasn't wanting to committ ever. He came too late to you with his change of heart. It is wonderful that he has changed but, you couldn't wait around for it. This is why people date. To find our mate in life.

[Guest Working4Christ]

Hey guys! I wasn't only asking about infidelity in marriage, although I have read some good advice. What if you are in a relationship for a couple of years, you break it off, become involved with someone else,...is that a betrayal of trust for the one you broke it off with?

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I don't think that it is. What would be the reason for the break?

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Thanks for replying Constant! The reason for the break up was because of his treatment to me during our relationship, basically he was very judgemental and verbally cruel to me. And also the last 6 months we were together I was really wanting to talk about marriage and the possibility of having a baby together one day, which he said would never happen, it wasn't even open for discussion later (I begged to please not close the door on the possibility), but he was very adamant and even told me that I needed to find someone else. After the break up, he did come to me and apologize for his treatment of me and said he had changed. I didn't believe him, and I became involved with someone else. (Mistake). I really do think he has changed and I love him so much, he says he loves me and will love me forever, but because I became involved with someone else, we cannot be together. That is why I asked the ? about betrayal.

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Turtle, you did the right thing, there's no reason to stay with someone and never know whether they will be ready to commit or not. I am sorry it hurts. You didn't do anything wrong either, you were not bound by the laws of marriage.

Seek Christ first, and then just let the rest of life come with the breeze. Like I have said before, this life comes and goes with the wind, but eternity lasts forever, do things that are pleasing to God, and your eternal life will be amazing!

HTH.

[Imamom]

Since there was no commitment on his part when you broke up there was nothing wrong with you seeing someone else. No you did not betray him. If it has not been to long since this all happened maybe more time is needed. If you and your original partner are truly meant to be together I'm sure God will make it happen.

[Iryssa]

Thanks for replying Constant! The reason for the break up was because of his treatment to me during our relationship, basically he was very judgemental and verbally cruel to me. And also the last 6 months we were together I was really wanting to talk about marriage and the possibility of having a baby together one day, which he said would never happen, it wasn't even open for discussion later (I begged to please not close the door on the possibility), but he was very adamant and even told me that I needed to find someone else. After the break up, he did come to me and apologize for his treatment of me and said he had changed. I didn't believe him, and I became involved with someone else. (Mistake). I really do think he has changed and I love him so much, he says he loves me and will love me forever, but because I became involved with someone else, we cannot be together. That is why I asked the ? about betrayal.

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Wow...sounds like him and my ex could've been pals.

Look, if he has an issue with you going out with someone else AFTER you broke up with him, it's him that has the problems, NOT you.

My ex even got his older sister, his little sister, his mom, and his dad to try to convince me to go back to him. They were trying to be subtle *laughs incredulously* telling me that he was changed, and how he kept saying he couldn't imagine marrying anyone but me. *rolls eyes* And yet every time I talked to his brother (the one person I could trust to be honest with me), he told me how my ex kept saying I betrayed him. I concluded that if he honestly loved me, he would not have been unjustly accusing me of such a thing.

Anyway, the whole relationship was not worth saving. I'm glad I didn't go back to him, because God brought me the most incredible man...seriously. He doesn't care about what went on in my past relationships, even though he knew what all went on physically. (He was my most trusted friend first, and one night, while I was still with my ex, I felt so horribly guilty and I had to confess the things I'd done...no details or anything, but I told him with words that left no doubt in his mind. "I gave up my honor...gave him too much of me." *sigh* Anyway.) He loves me for all of who I am, and he wants to marry me!

I pray that God will give you strength in this situation, sister. That man is not worthy of your hand. I pray that your love-life will be yielded up to God (truly one of the most difficult things for us to let go of), and that He will bless you with someone like I found.

[Sisterchick]

Please, I only offered my opinion to strike conversation, no need to get personal about it and sling mud.

Slinging mud, huh? So, everything is okay as long as you add IMO/JMHO?

I'm sorry, I have just seen too much infidelity in my life. Satan doesn't attack, he seduces. I have never seen a success story. I have seen my brother-in-law beg for forgiveness on his knees, crying, swearing before God that he would never do it, again. But, again came over and over. His son followed in his father's footsteps. Ya, know? I'll stop with that.

You have a big heart. May God richly bless you.

[HisWordIsSufficient]

Well, as Christ forgave, and still forgives, so must we.

But that doesnt mean ur stuck with them. Forgiving and consistantly putting up with nonsense are two different things. Love though, in Corinthians, is long-suffering.. so i guess this kind of thing, you can only answer for yourself. confusing huh??

Ask the Lord, he will not give you the wrong answer. Ever.

[Sisterchick]

Well, as Christ forgave, and still forgives, so must we.

But that doesnt mean ur stuck with them. Forgiving and consistantly putting up with nonsense are two different things. Love though, in Corinthians, is long-suffering.. so i guess this kind of thing, you can only answer for yourself. confusing huh??

Ask the Lord, he will not give you the wrong answer. Ever.

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[/quote

Right! I totally agree. I think alot of women AND men answer for themselves, instead of seeking God's counsel. They want to stay with that person or keep them in their life and THAT is the wrong testimony to live in front of your children. I have a co-worker whose spouse cheated on her, sexually abused her and belittled her in front of her children, but she still has such guilt with being a divorced woman and would take him back in a heartbeat, if he asked.

As far as other relationships, turtle04? I could forgive and forget, but if that relationship causes me to sin or brings heartache, then I would have to distance myself. Gossip, for example. Gossip is dangerous and something that I continually have to fight, against at work. It is best for me to JUST do my job.