Need Advice....Where To Begin

[Guest SSSunshine2003]

Ok, this might be a long one. I need to get everything out(that i can think of at the moment).

First, a little of my background that might contribute to my issues: I grew up in a place where there were few people my age; no girls my age so I hung with the guys. My family was unstable; my mother was verbally abusive, and my father was verbally, physically, and emotionally abusive to me. I left home when I was 16 as a result, and went from friends to friends until my senior year when I went to a boarding school, and now I'm in college.

Issue 2: I don't have many friends. I get anxious about going to social places for fear that people will think badly of me, and I have a stuttering problem which makes me anxious in speaking situations. So I don't get out much, even though I want to. I have low self esteem and I don't know what to talk about with other girls my age. I feel inferior to other women and always feel like they are making fun of me, looking down on me, or they don't like me.

Issue 2: This may be the main issue. I don't like myself. This is where everything lies I believe. I'm overweight even though I eat healthy and workout regularly. I'm not happy with how I look, and I feel that no one will like me unless I look better.

Issue 3: My boyfriend. (these issues all fun together). I am always afraid that he will leave me for a girl who is more beautiful than I am. This results in my being jealous if he communicates with other women, watches TV programs with women, etc.

Truthfully, I don't know what is going on. I get crazy emotions and feelings and these feelings make me feel aweful. If I see a TV show with women who are in good shape I feel inferior and really upset. And I always think that my bf must be watching them, wherever he is. Even though my bf says that he loves me for who I am...I get upset when he looks at other women. I know men are men...and they can't always help it...but I can't go to the beach with him because I feel so bad...I can't watch certain shows, if we are in a place where there are other women I am misreable bc I feel like he is watching them, wanting them.

I know this is all silly. He has been with me for almost 2 years. He has never given me any reason to mistrust him. I know that these feelings are from my past: fear of rejection, feelings of inferiority, low self esteem, etc. I just would like to know how to deal with these emotions...I ask God for help...but what can I do besides that? How do I keep myself calm when I am raging inside because I see a women that makes me feel threatened like on TV, in public. I need to control this so that I can do things with my bf without accusing him of stuff...of me getting upset. How do I block out or deal with emotions?

Edited September 27, 2005 by SSSunshine2003

[Leonard]

My dear little sister:

You've got a pretty rough row to hoe!

The main thing you have to do, is FILL YOUR MIND WITH THE RIGHT KIND OF THOUGHTS. This is accomplished by meditating on the Scripture. In the Hebrew, the word usually translated 'meditate' means 'mumble aloud.' This is commonly called 'confessing the Scripture' and is a most salubrious habit to get into.

If you would care to PM me with an address, I will send you a packet of Scripture/Confession cards from some Ministers who I really think the world of.

My wife and I will adopt your emotional needs in our prayer time too.

Every blessing,

Fr. Onesimus

[yomotalking]

Most teenagers face those things.....I face some of them.

[refugepsa91]

Remember it is not the outside appearance that counts. It is that inside spark that attracts people to you. Your boyfriend sees it too. Do not let those that look good on the outside affect you at all. I know you've probably heard this before, but you must solidify this in your heart and mind.

Body image is a real problem, but it can be moved past. When we are God's children we are the most beautiful person in his eyes.

Leonard gave you some good advice, when these thoughts come, you must push them away and pray for them to stay away.

Love and Blessings,

Angel

[HisWordIsSufficient]

You beautiful girl! Dont worry about what the world thinks of you! The only one that matters is Jesus. And he loves you so so so so much he DIED for you! He was whipped, beaten, mocked, spat on, crucified, and only he knows what else just for you! His love is unconditional. It wont pass away, he wont ever leave you or forsake you, he will never hurt or tease you, you will never have to look different, or worry about how you look, he will never ever lie to you or say negative poisonous things to you. He is all you need in this life.

Look to Jesus like never before. Pour your heart out to him in prayer. He can only start working out your life for you if you invite him to. Remember with him your free of these things your experiencing. He did not give his life for you so that you may be hurt and self concious, no! He died so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. Until you get into God's word and find those promises which he has in there for you, your only scraping the surface of your Christianity. Its like Jesus has given you a huge present and youve just taken off the bow. The rest is still unrevealed. unseen and in being that way, of no good use! Build your faith, read how much you as a precious induvidual, mean to him!

Pray, read your bible, request confidence and love. Tell your boyfriend that you are insecure. Be honest. But dont blame him. Let him know you know your insecure and it would be great if he could help you in any way you can think of that would help. Maybe write down what you love about each other, a whole list, and swap. Then keep yours somewhere safe and whenever you feel yucky about your relationship because of your insecurity, look at that page. Also remember, whatever is on there? Take them and add at least another thousand things and know that Jesus loves you that much.

I dont even know you and i love you Sunshine! Because your a sister in Jesus Christ and that my dear, makes you a hero in my eyes. A boldness to believe is something nobody can take from you. Jesus is someone nobody can take or replace. You lean on the Lord. You see yourself as Jesus sees you! Beautiful.

[Guest RJD Servant]

Hi SSSSunshine

Love your user name because it seams like how you should be. Sun Shine or Son Shine!

Let me tell you that the Lord Jesus Loves you just like you are and that means you are unique in the sight of God to be Born and here upon this earth to live for him.

Blessed that you are alive and well and doing great in the sight of God.

Doubt comes from our insides and it changes how we see ourselves in the Eyes of God.

Love is God and God is Love so where can we go wrong if we lean a little bit more upon the heart and Love of God to mend and heal ALL the hurts of our lives from the Inside out and make us Happy and Joyful in Christ Jesus to go forward and not look back behind us to mess up the plowing we have to do before us on our path of Life.

Choose to Love the Lord your God with ALL your Heart and Soul and Mind and Love your Neighbor in this case your Boyfriend.

Fill yourself and your thoughts with the Love of God which will cover a multiuded of sins with our own lives it will distroy the Fear for Perfect love casts out ALL Fear! scripture.

You can not change into what you think you should be, some times we can not change our size or shape because of emotional and unstable ways in our lives, sometimes do to our eating habits, nerves, etc.....

I was 90 lb when I married my husband but when I had a 12 lb baby girl after 3 others my shape was not good to me but my husband loves me and I had another little girl after that. My shape is not bad but it is not ever going to be 90 lb ever again. It took me awhile to except myself like this and I do strive to eat right and do some excersize but weight is weight. But I am loved and that is all that matters to me and God.

Jesus first loved me before I ever chose him and I will not let the weights of this life dictate to me who I am.

Love Jesus Love your Boyfriend with the love of God and Never become Jealious, Look nice for yourself then for him. Never resent who you are make who you are a better person with in and he will love you for who you are.

You have to choose to change the manner in how you think and how you choose to change your life and make at turning point today to do so.

Praying that you will find the Love of God to remove the rejection, inadiquicies, or selfconscenceness around others. God you give her your acceptance and let her bask in the love of the Lord and learn to let go of the world around her that is negitive and bring about the beauty that you behold on the inside that can leap out to others around her on the outside. AMEN!!

I was a abused virbally and Physically growing up But I allowed God not to keep me in the rejection and I would not let those people control my life through pain and heart ache all my life I learned to move on with a great voice of God and Live in the LOVE of JESUS so that I could brake the bonds and holds the sin of others done to me had in my life. I raised LOVING Children who are friends one to another and I have 9 grandchildren whom I love. NO regets Just Forgiveness and Forgiven.

RJD Servant