Should I keep giving money to a friend in need who I suspect may be using me or lying to me?

[believeinHim]

On 2/4/2024 at 12:08 PM, FJK said:

A great way to handle it, when she shows up saying she needs food, offer to take her shopping.

I would actually love this. I am living on a special lectin free diet, and it is expensive and above my means. I am doing so now finally with the help of my mom, we are now both doing it. I complain a lot, but as soon as my mom gets on board with something I have been researching,

It's like everything comes in to better perspective. She is really smart. A bit too smart and extraverted in comparison to me, but very, very smart!

We are now both the trying this special lectin free diet. She has gerd, and acid reflux, and I had to have an upper endoscopy for a narrowed esophagus, ew this sounds and embarrassing typing it,

But, that's what happened to me last year, or a year or two ago now, and I don't want it to happen again.

They found a lot of acid in my stomach,a nd I have not had any problems since then, but I know I do still eat a lot of bad foods, and acidic foods, and I have just had enough.

I am also on Disability income, and I have a chronic Serious Mental Illness, and am on several medications, as well.

I don't like eating in front of people, and one of the main things I have when I like someone, is not wanting to eat in front of them.

But, I would love it if a friend, or a romantic interest would come shopping with me at the end to the beginning of the month when my finances are running low, not only would it bring me such relief for loneliness aspect,

But, it would also aid in financial help, as well.

I would be forever in debted, happily, and gratefully. <3. <3.

I also have this weird thing where it is embarrassing for me to push the carts, so that would also be a relief to me! 

My relationship with my mom is good. She does not align herself with the baptist religion. I am not a baptist. She is not, either.

I hold a lot of longing, and moonlighting with the fundamentalist, and orthodox leaning churches. This is not who my immediate family is.

It saddens me,a nd frustrates me, that part about it,

But, my relationship with my mom is good. If I want to live the fundamentalist life, it is up to me on my own to figure out a way to get there, and without having transportation, and moving somewhere smaller potentially,

It is just basically still up to me on my own if that is what i want to do.

With my illness, and the medications, and the timing involved in that, it makes it so much more difficult to accomplish by myself, without my own transportation.

But, it's still up to me regardless.

Aside from the differing I'm doctrine, my relationship with my mom is good. We just have a differing in the type of church we would want to go to, and my mom keeps up with politics every day now,

And that is mostly because of me. She keeps up with tv, and politics, mostly because of me.

She does enjoy it, and my dad is busy with work,

But, she started getting really involved with it because of me. And my illness. She keeps up with it because of me.

So, overall, I have it good here. When I am in an episode, or having some bad days out of the months, I have a hard time remembering this, and I am just caught up in the moment of my episode, and my feelings, and my crying, and whatever is going on on my social media, and etc, Worthy, and etc,

And it just explodes in to an uncontrollable post fest where I am not even explaining things clearly, or think that I am, and people get confused, and I get confused, and the post gets taken down, and everyone is miscommunicating and etc, and now we are all confused.

But, my relationship with my mom is good. I would just love it if someone else other than my parents would come shopping with me,

Either with groceries, or fun stuff, or whatever. I love to shop, and it is lonely just me and my parents sometimes.

I won't accept just anyone, and I already have a few others in mind. Which only gets me in to more trouble online. 

Edited February 16 by believeinHim

[The_Patriot21]

If she's truly hungry, offer to buy her groceries. Perhaps try and sit down and get her to go to church before helping her out further.

Or more effective, take her out to dinner and tell her about Jesus. She gets fed and gets to hear about Jesus. But stop giving her money she's just using you, and your just enabling her.

[furrychristian]

That's rough. If she's lying to you, I'd cut her off. I've had to cut people off before who wouldn't stop asking me for money..... once in a while? Sure. Every single day? No. I had to actually drop a friend entirely cuz she wouldn't stop asking for money and it was getting suspicious. 

It is hard though. I've been on both sides of this equation. At one point I had a spending addiction and had to keep borrowing money because I'd have spent my entire paycheck on fast food two days after payday. Understandably, people got tired of my begging and stopped helping me. Honestly, that was the best thing for me.... I needed to hit rock bottom in order to get motivated to defeat the addiction.

[furrychristian]

I will also add -

If you help someone and they misuse that help, that's entirely on their conscience for taking advantage of your kindness.