Times Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 27 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 157 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/23/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/13/1946 Share Posted May 18, 2006 If you happened to come upon a friends wife in the act of committing adultry would you tell your friend? This is not a hypothetical question. This happened to someone. He actually happened upon these two people. He knows both of them. The woman's husband and him are friends. The man and his wife are aquiantances. He asked me what to do. I would like to get some feedback from this forum. My personal opionion and advice was to tell the friend. My pastor added he should take someone with him. Which I agree. Again I want to emphasize this is not a hypothetical question. I consider this a very serious problem. This can affect the lives of at least 4 people, not to mention children involved. Thanks for your input, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jckduboise Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I pesonally would have a difficult time with someone sharing this information with me. If this person is seeking counsel on his activities that is one thing, but if he is just talking out of school I would tell him I was not interested in hearing it and find another subject. I would probably pray about this in private and ask for the Lord's guidance from there. I do not believe you will help either of these people for you to go and inform the wife nor will it help you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Times Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 27 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 157 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/23/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/13/1946 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 I pesonally would have a difficult time with someone sharing this information with me. If this person is seeking counsel on his activities that is one thing, but if he is just talking out of school I would tell him I was not interested in hearing it and find another subject. I would probably pray about this in private and ask for the Lord's guidance from there. I do not believe you will help either of these people for you to go and inform the wife nor will it help you I believe the person that shared this information with me has a sincere desire to do the right thing. He is concerned for all involved. Is it right to ignore this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jckduboise Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I pesonally would have a difficult time with someone sharing this information with me. If this person is seeking counsel on his activities that is one thing, but if he is just talking out of school I would tell him I was not interested in hearing it and find another subject. I would probably pray about this in private and ask for the Lord's guidance from there. I do not believe you will help either of these people for you to go and inform the wife nor will it help you I believe the person that shared this information with me has a sincere desire to do the right thing. He is concerned for all involved. Is it right to ignore this? No it is not if he was asking you to help him. And to tell his wife yourself will NOT help. This one friend is something that the only one who can answer is the Counselor Himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakota190 Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 97 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 640 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/14/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted May 18, 2006 believe this, YOU, will be the bad guy in all of this. not the one commiting adultery. the chances are the one being cheated on already knows or suspects it. this is a disasterous occurance and i would want to help reconcile them to God and each other, also, but i would take this to God in prayer and perhaps talk to the pastor about it, he might be able to either handle the situation or counsel you on what to do. God bless you for the love of your friend and the heart to help. seek the Lord first, in all things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daave Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. The reason being it is simply a "He Said.....She Said" situation. So abslolutely not! All talking and discussing should be done with the parties that were caught; and that only by the person that caught them. There are not two whitness, there is no way to bring a God sense of guiltyness except with the disscussion being with the guilty parties. God may be able to work with their hearts and solve the infidelity with out the involvment of the spouse and the marrage continue with out suspision at every turn. Again, No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. If they discover it on their own, that is the proper way for them to find out. Daave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daave Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. The reason being it is simply a "He Said.....She Said" situation. So abslolutely not! All talking and discussing should be done with the parties that were caught; and that only by the person that caught them. There are not two whitness, there is no way to bring a God sense of guiltyness except with the disscussion being with the guilty parties. God may be able to work with their hearts and solve the infidelity with out the involvment of the spouse and the marrage continue with out suspision at every turn. Again, No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. If they discover it on their own, that is the proper way for them to find out. Daave 19. Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; 20. Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
His Ambassador Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 295 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 60 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/19/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/26/1932 Share Posted May 18, 2006 The person that saw this should not attempt to do anything about it on his own. He should take a couple of women with him and first confront the wife giving her a set period of time to tell her husband (a week or so). If she does not then take the women with you and approach her husband. We all sin. From the info you have given it's not known if this is a one time "mistake" or an on-going sin. But it is a sin no worse than any other sin (in spite of the fact that many Christians rank it right "up there" with murder) so it should not color our attitude toward, or opinion of, the woman. We have a responsibility to rebuke the woman (I'm assuming she's a sister in the Lord) and to help the couple heal the marriage. But whatever is done do it Biblically and not in an emotional, worldly manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike2 Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 258 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/06/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted May 18, 2006 No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. The reason being it is simply a "He Said.....She Said" situation. So abslolutely not! All talking and discussing should be done with the parties that were caught; and that only by the person that caught them. There are not two whitness, there is no way to bring a God sense of guiltyness except with the disscussion being with the guilty parties. God may be able to work with their hearts and solve the infidelity with out the involvment of the spouse and the marrage continue with out suspision at every turn. Again, No! Do not tell the spouses of the guilty parties. If they discover it on their own, that is the proper way for them to find out. Daave Im with Daave on this one. Talk to the two guilty parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Times Posted May 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 27 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 157 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/23/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/13/1946 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 Here is the persons solution. I do not agree with this at all. What so you think? He is going to a third party, which is a relative of the man involved, and tell him. This way, he says, "No one will know I told on them. No one will be upset with me." Is this a viable solution? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts