Should I Go Alone or Wait?

[Rachel72]

Dearest Leonard---

It is not that she wants things to be her way, it is that she is feeling that God is calling her, and feels, if I may assume, like she has a rock tied to her leg.

If God calls us to do something, and puts a passion in our heart, for His Glory, should we not heed His calling? I think this is all that she is doing, and she has some road blocks in the way, and that is why she came for prayer. So let us pray.

Rachel72

[Rachel72]

Yahs Girl---We are praying, and kind of arguing over you. I apologize.

Just pray, and we will pray with you. Keep letting us know how things are going.

I will pray for renewed passion in your husband's heart.

Rachel72

[Yah'sGirl]

To all who have commented you have really lifted my heart. Just knowing that you are praying and have offered such words of support and wisdom have given me great anticipation of Yah's deliverance. However, Leonard, I do thank you for your posts, it shows you took the time to care, but I wonder about you. It is important for you to know that the letter killeth, but the spirit maketh alive. InternalFlame, I hear your heart and your words have touched mine. I have spoken quite candidly to my husband and he agrees that he has not been as passionate or supportive as he could be about our ministry. However, he offered no explaination other than he would change it, because he really see us in ministry together, yet when he is provided an oppotunity to support he continues to discourage. For instance, I told him I found a Hebrew roots based chat room and was sharing and responding to doctrinal questions along with other believers, he scoffed and turned and walked away obviously annoyed. I asked him later why he seemed annoyed that I was sharing and he acted like he did not know what I was talking about. He realized what he had done and later returned and asked if I enjoyed myself among the believers online. It does not change his first reaction which came from his heart. What is this? Is it a test? I am profoundly perplexed.

Rachel72, you have perceived well. I do not know if I should go, without him as he seems to want to go, but as you have rightly stated, it is like having your leg chained to a rock which will not move. He says he wants to, but his actions are contradictory. I will share this, a few months ago (about 4-5 months) a prophet called us up together and spoke to us about ministry and said that we must be careful that we do not allow jealousy to come in among us. My husband scoffed at the prophets words, but they were confirmed in my heart. When I tried to talk to him about the jealousy issue that the prophet addressed he dismissed the conversation and moved to another subject.

I knew it was a real issue as I had not forgotten that many years ago, I have been asked to teach and he was in the audience. After the session, he came up to me and the first thing he said almost clearing his conscious, was that he actually felt a little jealousy as I stood and taught, but he shook it off. My husband is a very accomplished man. He is very well educated and has multiple college degrees. He makes an exceptional salary and has obtained many copyrights and patons for engineering design. I on the other hand am educated as well, and have run a business for 9 years which I hope to get out of soon, but he told me many years ago that in his heart he really did not want the business to succeed. Talk about oneness out the window, I was shocked, but did not show it. It kind of explained why the business had been such a struggle for me so long, and he would never offer advise to steer me in the right direction then either. I hope this sheds more light for the wise. I welcome your comments.

Edited June 27, 2006 by Yah'sGirl

[Leonard]

Indeed "The Letter Killeth." Walking in resurrection of course, is only possible after death. Each of us must DIE TO SELF, so we can live to Him. Whenever we find ourselves REALLY wanting to disobey the Scriptures, so that we can obey what 'the Spirit,' has spoken to us, we must know this is a friction point for our flesh.

Remember, the New Testament teaches much on 'mortification'. Not a popular idea in the age of 'SELF' magazine, and the instant fulfillment of MacDonald's! "'Mortification'? Oh, that's a horrible old idea! Has something to do with 'putting to death' I think..............."

I have told you the truth, but you are a big girl.

[LadyRaven]

My husband is a gifted teacher of the scriptures, but he does not seem to have the same passion for ministry that I do though it is clear he would like to have this passion. We were interested in starting a radio broadcast in our area, and he asked me to get the information together. I did and even got a tremendous rate for the broadcast, when I presented it to him. He tried to act excited, but he really was not. He kept putting off signing the deal until it became a non-issue. We wanted to start a home Bible Study and when we got people who would attend the study he found a way to back out. I wanted to go to seminary to study the Hebrew Roots of the Christian faith. He was upset and thought I could get the same teaching from Hebrew roots teaching tapes. He suggested that I go to Law school instead. He is a great husband and is an excellent Christian and has the highest integrity, but he seems to purposely steer me from my ministry. I am also a gifted Bible teacher. We recently visited a ministry, where the pastor made disparaging remarks about women and that he likes them to keep silent, not approach him, etc., etc. My husband knows that I am passionate about ministry, and I told him I was uncomfortable with this ministry as I felt I would not be allowed to go forward in ministry, but my husband just ignored the Pastor's remarks and said God had answered our prayers to find a church that teaches the truth. The Lord led me to Deutronomy 13 chapter.

Deuteronomy 13: 1

[LadyRaven]

Oh my gosh, Leonard. You come right out with it, don't you,

But, what if her husband is holding her back from what God is calling her to do?

What does she do then. I see where you are coming from, with waiting for her husband, but what if he never changes. Then someone who has obviously been gifted with the gift of ministry and a passion to reach the lost will never get a chance to do her part. What if God is calling her to do this? If anything, it will come to happen, I believe, with your husband coming to renewed strength and belief, if this is what God really wants for your life.

Praying my hardest, for this difficult situation...

Rachel72

If what she wishes to do is biblical and her husband is holding her back, then HE is the one who must answer for that before God. She cannot disobey scripture in order to minister. Any ministry founded on rebellion will fail. There are other problems going on here besides her not being able to minister (and I am assuming that she is rightly gifted, called and it is a minsitry she is biblically sanctioned to do here..) and until they get solved she does not have the right to the platform. It really stinks, but that is the way it is.

And it sounds, from her description, that her husband has problems of his own and won't be willing to support her until they are dealt with. THAT is where she should be concentrating her efforts.

[LadyRaven]

Dearest Leonard---

It is not that she wants things to be her way, it is that she is feeling that God is calling her, and feels, if I may assume, like she has a rock tied to her leg.

If God calls us to do something, and puts a passion in our heart, for His Glory, should we not heed His calling? I think this is all that she is doing, and she has some road blocks in the way, and that is why she came for prayer. So let us pray.

Rachel72

Look in scripture what God requires of his ministers. In any position available within the church, if she is called and gifted and it is a position she can fill biblically, after the duty to obey God is to have a stable homelife. Obedience to God means obedience to scripture. HE will not call someone to do something and then expect them to do it in an unbiblical way.

Think about it. Would God expect that people called to missions rob a bank if no church or parachurch organisation will support them? OF COURSE NOT! If they lied on their taxes to fund their trip would they be blessed?

Everything God has given man to do, he expects to be done within the guidelines of scripture. Scripture says to submit to the husband. Scripture also teaches that those in leadership in the church should have a home which conforms to biblical guidelines and which is working well. If she goes off half cocked into ministry of any kind without the support of her husband she's disobeying scriptural teaching in two areas (at least) and it will fail. It will be another black eye for the church. And I know that anyone truly called of God to any sort of ministry does not WANT that.

[Yah'sGirl]

Thank you Lady Raven, you words will be taken to the heart as they bear witness with my spirit and the Word.

To Leonard, I will not regard your comments as your tree is bearing fruit that seems to have some issues. It is not that I disagree with you, as I do not have an opinion, but I am seeking "GODLY" counsel, not brutish words that I perceive bear no love whatsoever. As I am a new member, I will watch diligently for believers of your sort to avoid them. You can offer counsel in love that is firm and scriptural; consider the counsel of Lady Raven for example. She agrees with you and she supports her concerns scripturally and in love and I will consider her words deeply. Leonard, consider what I say to you, this is not an attack. When new members join this board it is because they have an immediate need and "no one", absolutely "no one" to hear them or support them. I have "noone", but Yah and it is my hope that HE would speak through his people. Support can be strong medicine and I am prepared for that. I am a dedicated believer and live a life that is above reproach before Yah, myself and even man. So, as you said I am a "Big Girl", and I can handle strong criticism when need, but it is not needed here. People are desperate for a word from Yah, and they can't get it from the pulpit. (see the post "FAMINE IN THE LAND" by Butero) because they want to do the right thing, and they need love not condemnation or accusations of carnal intentions or rebellion.

To the forum, Quite frankly we have a great, happy home life, with happy kids that excel naturally and spiritually. There is no tension or arguing or any of that madness. No perversions like porography, masterbation, etc. Many have considered us the marriage to pattern after, and it is not pretense. To answer Lady Raven's question, we are Hebrew Roots, Torah observant "Christian" Bible teachers, not Pastors. However, we are sent to Pastors and other Church Leaders to teach them the Hebrew Roots of the Christian Faith, and about Shabbat and the other moadims of Yah. Lady Raven your words bore witness with my spirit. I do not believe my husband is ready and he knows that he will be the one out front, as he is the man, and he may not be biblically ready for that. If I take oppotunities to learn more about my Hebrew Roots by going to seminary, it would put him further behind. He will not admit this, but as I read your message it bears witness. He wants me to learn at his pace, so we are together in knowledge. He is an exceptional Hebrew Roots teachers and I excel in Torah, and have a keen biblical understanding of the law of Moses and the restoration of the Two Houses Judah and Ephraim. Getting him to admit this would be like getting President Bush to admit that he has a financial interest and benefit from the high price of gas. I will wait and not go, as he needs to be delivered from this "thing" and it runs deep if you read my last post. It is important that Yah approve us, so we can be successful, and if it means waiting for Yah to deliver him for us to be successful in ministry them I will.

Leonard and others, please read the scripture in Deut 13 that I posted in my orginal message. This is quite significant in my mind, as it warns that if anyone, even those close to you who purposefully steer you away from the things of Yah to something idolatrous, do not regard them even if they seem to have signs and wonders flowing from their life. It also says that Yah will take care of that person, if they continue to do so.

If there was a hole behind me and I was backing up into it, my husband would probably say you need to look out; but he would never grab me, tell me there was a hole behind me and save me from falling in. Honestly, we would quietly let me fall in, and walk away. He would walk by me in that hole for weeks until I asked him why did you not warn me of the hole before I fell in, and he would be annoyed at me for falling in and for asking his help to get out, and then he would say I could have told you the hole was there as he pulled me out weeks later. This is who he is and has been all of our marriage, though he is all of those other wonderful things, and though we have a good marriage and no "real" problems. This is a problem. I know it sounds strange, but it is so. I am not a rebellious person by any means and my husband can vouch for that. Lady Raven, I beleive he has an issue in his heart, that only Yah can address. Continue to pray for him and us.

Edited June 27, 2006 by Yah'sGirl

[Rachel72]

Yah's Girl---

Just wanted to let you know, that I was surprised at Leonard's replies, like you were, but he does have a true heart for God, and loving other people. In his defense, I just wanted you to know this, as you are new. Leonard has prayed for every post I have asked prayer for, and he has even sent me some Biblical verses, to help when I am struggling spiritually, by snail mail. If I knew he were to take offense to my reaction of his post, I would not have written it. To me, he really is a true servant of the Lord, a strict one, maybe, but a true one. I just want you to know this, in love, that Leonard is a good guy.

Ladyraven, I see what you are saying. Totally, I do get it. I have no scripture to back up what I have said, I just thought of all the people Yah's Girl could not reach if she did not go forward. How many will suffer because she was held back by her husband? And, when is it okay to go, that is really the answer. Is not the most important thing for us to do as Christians is to reach people who are not saved?

We could go on and on, arguing with each other, but I respect everyone's opinion. When it all comes down to it, we just need to pray for Yah's Girl. Pray hard.

I am thinking of you my dear friend, Yah. I wish I had a gift of ministry like you do. Is there a way you can use your gift of ministry right where you are, in agreement with your husband? You said you live exceptionally well, could you manage working your business part time, and someone fill in for you? Just some thoughts...

Blessings,

Rachel

[Yah'sGirl]

Hi Rachel72,

Now that is love. I thank you so much for standing for Leonard. I thank you for your heartfelt report of his Christ like conduct. That really makes a difference to me. Thanks. Your words were also very inspiring for me about my situation. It is good to know that someone understands my extreme passion for ministry. Yes, those are good questions; How long do I wait, and is not it more important to do what Yah (God) says? With your prayers and the prayers of the others who checked in, I am positive that Yah will confirm the time and help my husband. I think that while I wait I could offer some assistance right here at Worthy, by chiming in on questions, doctrinal issues and other matters to assist as the Holy Spirit give me what to share. I actually feel so much better. I was so low regarding this matter, and there are yet issues to address with my husband, but I am confident that Yah has spoken through you all. I love you my brethren. I have never had anyone be there for me, as all of you have. It is so moving.

As far as the business goes, it has seen better days, should the tide turn and Yah agree, I could stay. The business is a software development business and takes up so much of my time and life, it would be hard to do it part-time, as a lot of the work is keeping up with new technologies, learning them and deploying them. The competition is grevious and the economy is just plain bad for this type of business, because there are so many competitors in the bid process, and offshore resources are beginning to dominate, as they can do alot of the work for less than in the States. I have placed the business in Yah's hands. Thank you and Yah's blessing to you all. My prayer for you all is that for your kindness to me that Yah honor you with your heart's desire. I love Worthy Boards and expect to be a long time member.