kmarie Posted June 30, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1989 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I would really like some advice on what to do in my relationship. I am a christian and my boyfriend is not. I have tried to take him to church but he doesnt seem interested, and when i try talking to him about his beliefs he says he doesnt really want to talk about it because he doesnt want to get into a fight. I know that I probably should have not started going out with him in the first place because he is not a christian and I know that God wants believers to be together, because for one thing it causes problems. But I really like him and we have been going out for 7 months. Now I dont know what to do because I want to be able to have a boyfriend that can pray with me and have a relationship with God like I do, but I dont want to hurt him and I know breaking up with him will be extremely tough because I still really like him. I dont know how to bring up the issue to him and I dont know what I would say. Please help me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted June 30, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I would really like some advice on what to do in my relationship. I am a christian and my boyfriend is not. I have tried to take him to church but he doesnt seem interested, and when i try talking to him about his beliefs he says he doesnt really want to talk about it because he doesnt want to get into a fight. I know that I probably should have not started going out with him in the first place because he is not a christian and I know that God wants believers to be together, because for one thing it causes problems. But I really like him and we have been going out for 7 months. Now I dont know what to do because I want to be able to have a boyfriend that can pray with me and have a relationship with God like I do, but I dont want to hurt him and I know breaking up with him will be extremely tough because I still really like him. I dont know how to bring up the issue to him and I dont know what I would say. Please help me! Scripture is clear as to what you should do. Be not unequally yoked. Missionary dating is dangerous and silly. Which is more important, your relationship with God, your obedience to scripture...or your feelings for your bf. If you choose your bf, you are setting a precedent for the rest of your life. You always choose God first and his principles and let the rest take care of itself. Of course I'm telling you to do something that will hurt him (you knew he wasn't a believer when you started dating him) and which will hurt your feelings too. Sometimes that is what happens when you commit yourself to live for Christ. It hurts, I know. But...I didn't listen to scripture, I married an unbeliever. He pretended to make a commitment to shut me up, but spent our lives in rebellion against God and generally making our family miserable. Eventually he left for someone else and I had to endure a divorce after having two children and devoting almost 11 years to that mess. Better to hurt your own feelings NOW then run the risk of falling in love enough to marry this person and living in misery for the rest of your life. God has His reasons and He knows what is best for all of us. We mess things up most spectacularly when we ignore what God says. As to what to tell him, you owe him the truth. Tell him that you really like him but went against your own beliefs in order to be with him. That it's nothing against him as a person, but you can't disobey God anymore. If he's one of those who would try to keep you by manipulating you or having a "quick conversion" runnnnn. He is selfish. If he is one who would respect your convictions but be upset...continue to pray for him after you leave, he has potential as a mate...if only... praying you make the right choice now, Raven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmarie Posted June 30, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1989 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 I would really like some advice on what to do in my relationship. I am a christian and my boyfriend is not. I have tried to take him to church but he doesnt seem interested, and when i try talking to him about his beliefs he says he doesnt really want to talk about it because he doesnt want to get into a fight. I know that I probably should have not started going out with him in the first place because he is not a christian and I know that God wants believers to be together, because for one thing it causes problems. But I really like him and we have been going out for 7 months. Now I dont know what to do because I want to be able to have a boyfriend that can pray with me and have a relationship with God like I do, but I dont want to hurt him and I know breaking up with him will be extremely tough because I still really like him. I dont know how to bring up the issue to him and I dont know what I would say. Please help me! Scripture is clear as to what you should do. Be not unequally yoked. Missionary dating is dangerous and silly. Which is more important, your relationship with God, your obedience to scripture...or your feelings for your bf. If you choose your bf, you are setting a precedent for the rest of your life. You always choose God first and his principles and let the rest take care of itself. Of course I'm telling you to do something that will hurt him (you knew he wasn't a believer when you started dating him) and which will hurt your feelings too. Sometimes that is what happens when you commit yourself to live for Christ. It hurts, I know. But...I didn't listen to scripture, I married an unbeliever. He pretended to make a commitment to shut me up, but spent our lives in rebellion against God and generally making our family miserable. Eventually he left for someone else and I had to endure a divorce after having two children and devoting almost 11 years to that mess. Better to hurt your own feelings NOW then run the risk of falling in love enough to marry this person and living in misery for the rest of your life. God has His reasons and He knows what is best for all of us. We mess things up most spectacularly when we ignore what God says. As to what to tell him, you owe him the truth. Tell him that you really like him but went against your own beliefs in order to be with him. That it's nothing against him as a person, but you can't disobey God anymore. If he's one of those who would try to keep you by manipulating you or having a "quick conversion" runnnnn. He is selfish. If he is one who would respect your convictions but be upset...continue to pray for him after you leave, he has potential as a mate...if only... praying you make the right choice now, Raven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmarie Posted June 30, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1989 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 Raven, thank you so much for the advice. You have made it clear on what to say and what God tells me to do in this situation. Thanks for praying for me too, it always helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted June 30, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Raven, thank you so much for the advice. You have made it clear on what to say and what God tells me to do in this situation. Thanks for praying for me too, it always helps! Praying for someone is easy hun. What you have to do is not. I wish I could make it easier for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmarie Posted July 1, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1989 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 Well I broke up with my boyfriend. I feel terrible but I know its what God wanted so I was willing to do it. Please pray that this terrible feeling goes away soon, cause I cant stop crying. God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevella123 Posted July 1, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 75 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/20/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/27/1977 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Hi kmarie I'm glad LadyRaven was able to help you. There are so many wise and helpful people on this site! I just turned 29 and have always dated non-christian guys (not by choice, just that all the christian guys my age at my church are married. and so I ended up dating guys from school or from work). Anyways, I finally broke up with my last boyfriend back in April. We had gone out for 2 yrs. He, like the others (well, except for one. I forgot that my 1st ever boyfriend WAS Christian) was non-christian. When we first started to date, he told me that he went to church as a child (with his grandparents) and now didn't know what he believed. He believed in a higher power, but wasn't sure what it was. So I guess that would have made him agnostic? Anyways, it's true that being with a non-christian is VERY hard. I am very involved in my church (I run children's weekly clubs, run the VBS daycamp in the summer, teach sunday school, etc, etc). I always sort of envied other young couples at the church, because they were both christians and able to come to church together and sing to God, study His word, etc. I really want a boyfriend/husband who will attend church with me (because HE wants to) and will help me to grow in my christian walk (instead of being an obstacle). Even if your non-christian boyfriend doesn't try to stop you from believing or going to church, the fact that he doesn't believe the same and go with you, is harmful. I am 29 and only now realizing this. Better late than never. I've never been married. Anyways, this time I broke up with my boyfriend (in the past I've always been so needy and felt like I needed a man, so I'd wait until the guy broke up with me). But this time I did it. I knew we had no future. Not only because of religion, but he wasn't moving forward in life (no goals, etc). Whereas I am starting a new exciting career as a teacher. He also never cared much about helping others (whereas I'd always give of my time and volunteer). I cried and cried (even though I was the one who ended things). It's never easy. But, just as I thought (and knew deep down), I'm MUCH happier now. And I will never again "settle" for a non-christian guy. Take care, sister!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmarie Posted July 1, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1989 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 Thanks Nevella, it sounds like I am not the only one who has this sorta problem. Reading about people who have had the same experience really helps. Everyone on here is so supportive and I think that is awesome. I know that God will provide someone that he feels is right for me someday and I know I will be much happier. Thanks again!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepherdsgrace Posted July 1, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 880 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/28/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted July 1, 2006 May God bless all you young women who are living to please Him rather than yourselves! I know that you will be so glad as time goes by and life works out to prove Our Lord right and just in all He commands. I believe that God will in His providence send to you men of his choice and pleasing to you.......I really do. He provides all of our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. The right husband is a need. He will provide not according to who is in your sphere today but according to His riches in Christ Jesus. Consider yourselves provided for! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevella123 Posted July 1, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 75 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/20/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/27/1977 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Thanks shepherdsgrace What great and encouraging words. Kmarie, please keep us posted as to how you are doing. I hope you, like me, come back to Worthboards regularly (as a "newbie"). I joined on June 19th and have been back every day. I have yet to go to Worthy Chat, but I hear that's amazing too!!! Send me a PM sometime. I think you have to wait until you have made 10 posts before that feature is enabled. God bless, sister! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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