Nero's Fiddle Posted July 21, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 328 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/25/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted July 21, 2006 What do you do if you marriage partner tells you they are no longer interested in having sex with you again? According to the Bible, this would be sin on the part of the spouse who said that. If that spouse is a Christian, then this should not happen. "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." If the spouse is an unbeliever, I think this would probably constitute the unbeliever looking for a divorce, yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inusia Posted July 21, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted July 21, 2006 to alien: I can see your point. It's my luck that I have never been cheated by beloved. Mostly I can go along with your statement. But I used to think that God doesn't want us to be unhappy and we don't have to suffer that much for the lifetime. We're born to devote our lives to Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner_46 Posted July 22, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/06/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted July 22, 2006 Does God give us permission? The rules or laws are given, there will be consequences. I believe that alien is right in showing unconditional love with waiting. God is always waiting for us to repent, return to Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smalcald Posted July 22, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5,258 Content Per Day: 0.76 Reputation: 42 Days Won: 3 Joined: 06/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/22/1960 Share Posted July 22, 2006 What do you do if you marriage partner tells you they are no longer interested in having sex with you again? According to the Bible, this would be sin on the part of the spouse who said that. If that spouse is a Christian, then this should not happen. "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." If the spouse is an unbeliever, I think this would probably constitute the unbeliever looking for a divorce, yes? I don't think so. In the two cases I mentioned the women were both Christians. But this sin of the spouse still does not give the husband the right for divorce. If sin of our spouses gave us the right to divorce none of us would be married. Perhaps one of the reasons (besides vow breaking) that God allows for the divorce from a cheating spouse is health. I know that if my husband ever cheated, I could forgive him, but I would never let him touch me again because there is no telling what type of diseases he might have caught. If a woman thinks so little of herself that she would be with a married man, then how many other men may she have been with? Good point. You also bring up another thorny issue. What do you do if you marriage partner tells you they are no longer interested in having sex with you again? As a Christian we are called to lifelong fidelity, so what we are talking about in this case would be in affect a vow of lifetime celibacy, or close to it. I have spoken to two such friends in the past year that are in this situation. It is hard because as Protestants we really don't have supportive institutions to help people live lives of healthy chastity and celibacy. I pointed them to the basic biblical versus on the topic, but also cautioned them that it is doubtful that their wives would change their minds, sexual attraction is very hard to control or to change. It is possible the Holy Spirit could change the situation, it is also possible the answer will be no. One of them did speak to a Catholic Monk and it helped him greatly to speak to another male who was leading a life of celibacy and it encouraged him that he could complete the journey. Whats so thorny? We tell r children to b celibate from time theyd unnerstand till theyre married , this could b 10 + yrs . How do u treat the spouse thats acting in this manner? Same way you would anyone else , u love them in God's perfect love n wait n pray , u let them see the love ur talking about & living out , a patient love , not demanding its own way, u let them see God & His love in u, mebbe the only Him they will ever see before they die , which could b 50 yrs , or tomorow , would u hold that love of God back from them? The HS will allways change the situation , if u give God this situation , he will change ur attitude & mebbe in time , the mates attitude, in fact , it may b their only chance at getting to know God & only chance at eternal life. But it IS hard. To deny that sets people up into thinking that living a Christian life is easy. I think we need to understand how hard lifetime celibacy is for someone who has a sex drive. How many of our kids actually make it until marriage without having sex? We should do a poll on this board and see how many really did? I pray that they all do, but the fact is less then 10% actually do in the US. To help them we must not just talk about the need to not sin, but also recognize that they will have to really struggle and that it will not be easy, but that it is worth it. So it does no good in simply pretending this is not an issue or that it is not thorny or difficult. But yes we are called to chastity, and we are called to not leave our marriages or stray into the sin of adultery even if our spouse is not interested in sex and probably never will be. My point is that it is hard and will take a lifelong commitment to leading a celibate life in this case. The Holy Spirit sometimes heals, and sometimes does not. This is a hard thing, but God calls us to hard things, and the bible does indeed give great encouragement for living celibately and chastely when we are called to do so, and many people are called or are given that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inusia Posted July 24, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2006 to alien: Thank you 4 your suggestion - I'll find this book. You are a wise man (I assume you are 30 or older cause I have definitely read the lines written by a mature person).But people differ - 'cause everyone has own nature depending of the life exsperience. That's great that you can refute our right to divorce, but it was given to us legally by God(!) even though he said "for the hardness of your heart"(which doesn't mean that cruel is one who asks for divorce but who cheated on his second half)... I have known one faithful women who struggled for her marriage over 20 years. Her husbund was a catholic and though he seemed to be a very religious man he has bitten her and their son, he was under control when someone tried to dispute with him. He quoted Bible, 'cause it says that husband owns the life of his wife and she must do everithing he says; and if she doesn't - she is bad wife and deserves for punishment. He lost his job. She has been working day and night to pay the bills. She told that she wanted to keep their marriage because of their little son. But time passed and at the age of 16(!) their son bought a gun to kill his father as he hated him for his terror and for all evil he did to his mom. Fortunately this boy didn't manage to do it. 6 month ago she separated from his husband.Nobody judges her for this.And what do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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