Guest krista_aus Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 HI there, Recently my fiance and I left our local church because we found that the people who attended were hypocrites, rightous and judgemental - they really believed (and preached) that they were better then other people (because they were christians) and turned people away from the church when they questioned things that were said in sermans etc. They were gossipy and spoke about members behind thier backs. We could not handle that they banned people from church! We have visited a couple of other churches and have found that some of behaviour is common to quite a few - and we are thinking now that we don't want to attend church at all... What can we do? Does anyone have any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krista_aus Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 come on guys....surely someone has been in this situation before or can offer some support!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Posted September 30, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 115 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 8,281 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 03/03/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/30/1955 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Well, frankly, you guys sound 'judgmental and gossipy.' Take the beam from your own eye................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 come on guys....surely someone has been in this situation before or can offer some support!! I get slammed every time I bring this up, but you asked. I myself do not attend church. The bible tells us we are all to be of the same mind. That's impossible to do if you become a member of one of the 30,000 different denominations out there. I tried it...it didn't work. I take my walk with God very serious. There are too many outside influences in the church, I just don't feel comfortable there. I don't know...if you want me to go deeper into this, I can, but the end result will be the same. I don't attend church. And I know that God does not hold that against me. He has answered too many of my prayer's for me to think otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krista_aus Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 thanks for that Leonard ... great way to support someone in spiritual struggle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krista_aus Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Thanks Man. I think what your saying is true...we haven't strayed for our walk with God (too much!) by not going to church but miss things about church - like live worship and stuff. Will take your thoughts on board - God will guide us if we let him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted September 30, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted September 30, 2006 HI there, Recently my fiance and I left our local church because we found that the people who attended were hypocrites, rightous and judgemental - they really believed (and preached) that they were better then other people (because they were christians) and turned people away from the church when they questioned things that were said in sermans etc. They were gossipy and spoke about members behind thier backs. We could not handle that they banned people from church! We have visited a couple of other churches and have found that some of behaviour is common to quite a few - and we are thinking now that we don't want to attend church at all... What can we do? Does anyone have any suggestions? Focus on the doctrine, not on the people. All believers are hypocrites because we hold each other to God's standards which are holy and right and we, alas, always fall short. And gossip is so much a part of our culture that half the people who do it don't even realise what it is they are doing. I'd rather have all those hypocrites in the church than outside of it where they aren't learning anything. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face. Pick a body and commit to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naziyr Posted September 30, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 113 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/15/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/30/1984 Share Posted September 30, 2006 I myself left the Christian Churches, but I attend the youth services at the request of the Youth Director (cause I speak up about Hebrew customs and tradition which interests some of the youth on some subjects). But I leave after the praise and worship usually... cause I don't like the eyes eyeballing the only guy in the house with a Kippah and Tallit. Plus the pastor dislikes me, but I enjoy worshipping to live music... so I don't alienate myself completely. I would suggest for you and your fiance... to have your own church service together =). I've seen a few couples do this, and it strengthens their bond spiritually. When fellow family members are invited and friends who are like minded about church, it helps to bond and grow deeper relationships. But I wouldn't give up on allllll churches totally... cause there's something you get from communal worship that you can't get in private worship. Plus psychologically, it helps at times to see people who believe in the same belief system as you.. so there's lots of benefits. If you're worried about the hypocrites, you shouldn't be. Not gonna tell you to take the beam out of your eye, cause obviously you're seeing clearly their actions, and acting accordingly. Which isn't bad. IF I saw people in the churches I visit acting unG-dly... I'd distance myself from them. Cause the people you walk with, rub off on ya. Ya know? So in summary... keep being a part of at least the worship and sermon parts of the service... but if you have to, don't be afraid to have a church service alone with your future spouse whom will need to be spiritual in sync with you, and mutually supportive of growing in the knowledge and wisdom of Christ. Shalom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 my pastor said something last sunday that struck me as being comical... not because it was meant to be funny, but because of how much truth there was in it. he said so many people quit going to church because it's full of hypocrites, and they're right... so they should come right on to church and fit right in with the rest of the hypocrites, because we're ALL guilty. i didn't go to church for years for the same reason. too many hypocrites. but eventually i followed the recommendation of kittyjo on these boards to attend a particular church in our city... one she used to attend, and happens to be across the street from where i live. i'm glad i did. not a single one of them is perfect, or tries to pretend to be. almost everyone in that church is recovering from an addiction, or are married to a recovering addict. as a result, nobody pretends to be better than anyone else. instead, there is a tremendous amount of support. the congregation is more close-knit than any church i've ever attended in my life. so, the moral of this story is, if you quit going to your own church because of the hypocrisy, then keep looking til you find a church where you feel the people are more 'real'. try a small church. smaller churches tend to be warmer. but don't sit back judging from your perch at home saying they're all hypocrites, because one of the fruits of being a child of God is having love enough for your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to keep fellowship with them. and if you are a Christian who is passing judgement and refraining from fellowship with other believers because you don't find them to be good enough to associate with every sunday, then you're really no different from them at all. please don't take that as a personal attack. just look inward and re-evaluate your decision to not attend church... and pray that God will lead you to one where you can feel comfortable. clearly the one you were at is not where you needed to be... but you'll find one where you can be spiritually fed if you seek God's will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjrose Posted September 30, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,580 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/13/1960 Share Posted September 30, 2006 come on guys....surely someone has been in this situation before or can offer some support!! I get slammed every time I bring this up, but you asked. I myself do not attend church. The bible tells us we are all to be of the same mind. That's impossible to do if you become a member of one of the 30,000 different denominations out there. I tried it...it didn't work. I take my walk with God very serious. There are too many outside influences in the church, I just don't feel comfortable there. I don't know...if you want me to go deeper into this, I can, but the end result will be the same. I don't attend church. And I know that God does not hold that against me. He has answered too many of my prayer's for me to think otherwise. man you are right on. I thought that my not wanting to go to church because of what you mentioned above that I am somehow putting distance between God and myself but I know that not to be true because my church is right here and my walk with the Lord I also take very seriously. Yes, lately He has answered many of my prayers, has humbled me, taught me valuable lessons and has filled me with the Holy Spirit that I have peace and what were my concerns or struggles seem so insignificant and arrogant of me. Thank you for this post. For all your posts. Bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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