Divorce And The Bible.

[anti-hillbilly]

Note: I said "according to the bible and .....legalistically."

Note: I've also said, "I don't believe every word is divine".

Here's what we were told to do by two separate fundamentalist ministers many years ago (my husband was the fundamentalist): Divorce each other and break up our family. Find our exs and attempt to reconcile if they weren't married to other people; if they were, then stay celibate. I can't write here what I told those preachers but they told me that if we chose to stay in this marriage that we were choosing each other over God and we'd burn in hell. Each said they were sorry but it was their duty to tell us the truth and that the bible was clear.

We went home and my husband looked up every verse in the bible pertaining to divorce and wrote it down and I read them. Those ministers were correct in what they said was and wasn't in the bible so I couldn't really be mad at them....even though I was. I started thinking a lot about this and I realized a few things. I realized I do love my husband and my kids more than the invisible God I believe in and if the bible is true in regards to the verses on divorce then I'm toast cause I'm not obeying it. I realized on an intellectual level that I didn't believe those verses were true, and that I am not a bible literalist or legalist, I don't think I ever was since I was raised in a more liberal church. My husband however was miserable for a long time about this because he was raised in a very conservative church in the south, no leeway there, a lot of fear of burning alive forever.

After that I started reading the bible more and with a little more rationality and with a more open mind; I read all of it and not just the "good parts" we stuck to in church. There's a lot of things in the bible that I don't believe and many things that I do. When the gay thing started to become a big issue I started to feel a lot of empathy for them because I think they get a heaping dose of what I got because of what the bible says on the subject. Where divorce used to be the "popular sin" to beat up on it's now "homosexuality" and "smoking". I refuse to hop on either bandwagon and as I said in an earlier post everytime the "divorce" issue comes up I immediately start thinking about the gay issue because for me the two are similiar; both are sexual issues and both are talked about in the bible. Both groups have been maligned due to bible verses on the subject.

Also after this experience I stopped saying what you guys say (what all Christians say without thinking about it imo), I stopped automatically saying, "I believe the entire bible from start to finish is the inerrant word of God". Just on this one issue I realized that I did not believe that, so I just stopped saying that I did and I feel no guilt about that what-so-ever.

In the end, despite this bad experience, I think it was a beneficial learning experience for me. Since that happened I think twice before beating somebody else over the head with a bible and telling em if they don't straighen up they're going to hell because I know there's at least two old preachers out there somewhere who think I'm going to hell. They don't know where I'm going and I don't know where someone else is going and it's not my place to speculate.

[Guest Jude 1:3]

And some people are such legalists that they miss the message of grace.

it was God who said that the ONLY unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. if you really think that divorce = blasphemy of the HS, then maybe you should go explain to God why He needs a better dictionary.

So what you're saying is, because we're saved by Grace, we can do whatever we please?

Sorry, the Bible says otherwise:

Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Remember, there is such a thing as legal separation. I simply do not believe a divorced person should remarry until their ex-spouse is dead. And the Bible agrees with me.

[anti-hillbilly]

Those two ministers gave you some very bad advice, and what it was based on, I can't even begin to speculate. The initial divorce was sin, so you are supposed to get divorced again and then re-marry the original people you were married to? That sounds like "two wrongs don't make a right, but three do." Your sinning again when you divorce the second time, and the bible says if you do divorce, you are not to re-marry the person a second time. That aside, what if the first people you were married to don't want to reconcile? Their advice was human, it was not based on the word of God.

The bible is the divinely inspired word of God. All of it. You have to accept that, and put God first, above everything else. The hierarchy of biblical devotion and service is very clear. God first, family second, yourself third. IMO, you can't do your best for your husband and children until you are doing your best for God and living your life according to what He wants for you. Please understand that I am not saying these things to be be preaching, or placing myself in some sort of superior position. I'm am saying it out of love for a christian sister, in the sincere desire that you will find a closer relationship with the Lord that will vastly improve and enrich your life, and the life of your family.

When I was growing up and even into my 20's, I believed that parts of the bible were 'missing.' That stuff had gotten lost down through the ages and we only had part of the picture. A few years ago, I suddenly realized that if I truly believed in an all-powerful God that created the universe and controls it, that it was quite easily within His power to make sure that the instruction book He gave us, out of love and mercy, to guide our christian lives, i.e. the bible was exactly what He wanted us to have. Nothing missing, nothing false. He is that powerful, and He is that loving. What I read is exactly what He wants me to have. It took me a long time to grasp the truth and the beauty of that. That is my wish for you.

That's very sweet Cobalt. I agree those preachers gave bad advice and I said the same thing....that two wrongs don't make a right. Your first paragraph above brings up a number of questions that demonstrate what a tangeled web a person can weave when legalism comes into play. My husband was very hurt by those two and unfortunately that was the "general" consesus of most people, at that time, where he came from. I think that has changed somewhat due to the gradual acceptance of divorce and remarriage in our culture. Fortunately for me, as I've already mentioned, I have always been more liberal so it didn't affect me the same way that it did him.

I disagree that the bible is complete; I do think some things were left out. There's even a verse in there that says that Jesus did and said so many wonderful things that volumes of books couldn't contain it all. I also believe that the bible was written by humans [men] who were fallible even if they were inspired by God. I have wondered why Jesus wasn't asked (according to the bible) about things like spousal abuse (both male and female) and other serious factors that often lead to divorce and I thought that maybe he was asked and it didn't get written down. After all, the bible isn't a dictation, it was written many years after the fact from people's memories and usually people zero in on the things that were important to them.

I think God is so much bigger than any book, including the bible; I also think that you are a very nice person.

Now, I'm gonna have to cut this place a break so I can get some work done around here.

[Guest Jude 1:3]

Well said sister, always a pleasure to read your posts

Yes, because it tickles your ears.

[Guest Jude 1:3]

The only instance in which a person can remarry is the death of their partner. If they are divorced, they would have to wait until the ex-husband/ex-wife dies until they can remarry. Anything else is an abomination in the sight of God.

You might as well go to everyone on the board that has been divorced and just give them a punch in the mouth. Some people climb on a hobby horse and ride it into the ground. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but why are there still people out there who isolate this one topic and think they are giving the rest of us the word from the mountaintop?

You are taking my words out of context. Read again: If they are divorced, they would have to wait until the ex-husband/ex-wife dies until they can remarry. And I don't care who I punched in the mouth, I am not here to earn points. Remarriage, unless the ex-spouse has passed on, is an abomination. I refuse to water down the truth in the name of "political correctness."

[billie]

Yes, because it tickles your ears.

Can we please discuss the topic, not the posters? Thank you.

[Guest LadyC]

And some people are such legalists that they miss the message of grace.

it was God who said that the ONLY unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. if you really think that divorce = blasphemy of the HS, then maybe you should go explain to God why He needs a better dictionary.

So what you're saying is, because we're saved by Grace, we can do whatever we please?

Sorry, the Bible says otherwise:

Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Remember, there is such a thing as legal separation. I simply do not believe a divorced person should remarry until their ex-spouse is dead. And the Bible agrees with me.

jude, i'd appreciate it if you don't twist my words. i never even implied that grace gave us a license to sin. grace means that once we have repented of our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive that sin, and we no longer have to live in shame. we are made a new creature in Christ, pure and unblemished in the sight of God. the slate is wiped clean. but we still don't have license to sin, and if we are dedicating our lives to His service, we're not willfully repeating the same sins over and over. are we perfect? no. we still screw up. and we still ask forgiveness. and each time we ask forgiveness, if we are truly repentant (God sees the intent of the heart, He knows if you're sincere or are just going thru the motions to get away with something), He is faithful to forgive again.

[Pizzaguy]

Divorce is a spiritual example of our relationship with Jesus Christ. Paul said so in Ephesians.

Actually, not always true! It may be an indication of our SPOUSE'S relationship with Him, more than ours.

It takes two to get married, and both must agree. But if your spouse wants a divorce, you simply go along for the ride.

And THAT makes it hard to trust again.

[Guest Jude 1:3]

You are taking my words out of context. Read again: If they are divorced, they would have to wait until the ex-husband/ex-wife dies until they can remarry. And I don't care who I punched in the mouth, I am not here to earn points. Remarriage, unless the ex-spouse has passed on, is an abomination. I refuse to water down the truth in the name of "political correctness."

You think the Word of God is funny? The Word says, But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32) The Word also says, "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18) So you see, not only does the person who initiated the divorce commit adultery in remarriage; also their partner commits adultery in remarriage. Can the Word be any more clear?

Edited October 18, 2006 by Jude 1:3

[Guest Jude 1:3]

And some people are such legalists that they miss the message of grace.

it was God who said that the ONLY unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. if you really think that divorce = blasphemy of the HS, then maybe you should go explain to God why He needs a better dictionary.

So what you're saying is, because we're saved by Grace, we can do whatever we please?

Sorry, the Bible says otherwise:

Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Remember, there is such a thing as legal separation. I simply do not believe a divorced person should remarry until their ex-spouse is dead. And the Bible agrees with me.

jude, i'd appreciate it if you don't twist my words. i never even implied that grace gave us a license to sin. grace means that once we have repented of our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive that sin, and we no longer have to live in shame. we are made a new creature in Christ, pure and unblemished in the sight of God. the slate is wiped clean. but we still don't have license to sin, and if we are dedicating our lives to His service, we're not willfully repeating the same sins over and over. are we perfect? no. we still screw up. and we still ask forgiveness. and each time we ask forgiveness, if we are truly repentant (God sees the intent of the heart, He knows if you're sincere or are just going thru the motions to get away with something), He is faithful to forgive again.

It appears you suggested it is OK to remarry, despite the commandment otherwise, because God will forgive us anyway. In what way did I misunderstand?

I am not arguing with the fact that God does forgive us. I am arguing with the suggestion that believing the Word of God makes me a "legalist."

Edited October 18, 2006 by Jude 1:3