Northern lass Posted March 22, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 106 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,072 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/27/1948 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am sure a lot of parents can relate, me included!! Trouble is we have our children when sometimes we are still growing up emotionally and spiritually ourselves. I agree with what has already been said - give the past and all mistakes to God and trust Him to make all things new! And once you have given it to Him with all your mistakes, LEAVE it there and don't beat yourself up with guilt. His grace is sufficient! He has also promised to restore the years the locusts have eaten so claim this for the years you feel were lost. And, as has already been said, pray for your children and bless them. I use the Numbers 6: 24-26 blessing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
None Posted March 22, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 39 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/01/1908 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Thank you very much! Yes, I am still growing emotionally/spiritually and this is where some of my comfort lies, in matters of guilt. We, like trees, never stop growing until we die. We are held accountable, to some degrees, when we guide our children poorly but God takes into consideration the knowledge we've recieved and have been taught by our leaders/teachers/parents etc. I don't believe in calling circumstancial context "excuses" because I believe God views all of this when He judges us and, we all get judged. As several of you have said, I can only pray. I've already apologized to her and I'm now waiting on God. The only thing is, I feel as if I'm being selfish whenever I'm tempted to feel "at ease" or at peace in my heart because I feel this should not be until I know she has accepted Jesus into her life. That's really the issue I'm struggling with here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern lass Posted March 24, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 106 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,072 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/27/1948 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I recommend the book by Rob Parsons "Bringing Home the Prodigals" - I was just looking at it and reading this passage made me think of you: "And what if we could have been the perfect parents? The creation story brings a fascinating dimension to this. Adam and Eve had the perfect father and lived in the perfect environment but they chose a way their father didn't want them to go. In fact much of the Bible shows God, the perfect parent, saying to his children,'Why are you turning your back on all that I have taught you?' There are no guarantees with our children. I know there is that verse in Proverbs, 'Bring up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it,' but that's not a guarantee, it's a general principle. If you follow it, you will give your children a wonderful foundation in life but they will still make choices. It's time to lay that guilt down. You have carried it long enough. By all means ask forgiveness for thos things you know you've done wrong as a parent, but then join the rest of us who have loved and guided our children as much as we could, but who, in the end, have to watch as they make their own decisions" Hope you find this helpful. If you ever just want to talk, feel free to PM me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
None Posted March 24, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 39 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/01/1908 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 I recommend the book by Rob Parsons "Bringing Home the Prodigals" - I was just looking at it and reading this passage made me think of you: "And what if we could have been the perfect parents? The creation story brings a fascinating dimension to this. Adam and Eve had the perfect father and lived in the perfect environment but they chose a way their father didn't want them to go. In fact much of the Bible shows God, the perfect parent, saying to his children,'Why are you turning your back on all that I have taught you?' There are no guarantees with our children. I know there is that verse in Proverbs, 'Bring up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it,' but that's not a guarantee, it's a general principle. If you follow it, you will give your children a wonderful foundation in life but they will still make choices. It's time to lay that guilt down. You have carried it long enough. By all means ask forgiveness for thos things you know you've done wrong as a parent, but then join the rest of us who have loved and guided our children as much as we could, but who, in the end, have to watch as they make their own decisions" Hope you find this helpful. If you ever just want to talk, feel free to PM me! Thank you. I found it very comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabowd Posted March 24, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,489 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted March 24, 2007 What do you do when you know you could have been a better Christian influence on your child, who is now a teen, but due to issues(we all have issues), you may have lost her to unbelief? While I am not a parent, I often feel the weight of guilt over various things too and understand the pain of it. One thing you have to keep in mind, is that Christ bore your guilt on the cross, He didn't intend for you to carry it. To continue to worry and fret over things we cannot control (and things He's already taken care of) is evidence of lack of trust. I would encourage you to try to place your trust in God and know that He is sufficiently capable of bringing your child to Himself and that His grace is sufficient for covering all the areas of your own imperfections. Remember, He loves your children even more than you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
None Posted March 24, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 39 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/01/1908 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 To continue to worry and fret over things we cannot control (and things He's already taken care of) is evidence of lack of trust. He has given me peace, however, as I stated here: The only thing is, I feel as if I'm being selfish whenever I'm tempted to feel "at ease" or at peace in my heart because I feel this should not be until I know she has accepted Jesus into her life. That's really the issue I'm struggling with here. It's like a rich lady eating cake in front of a starving, poor girl, who's watching her from very far away, and feeling fine about it. She knows she might die of hunger. She has no way of giving her this cake now, it's too late. Should she toss her guilt and move on to the fridge? If we're just supposed to forget, wouldn't that make us a bunch of coldhearted animals? That's not how I define "trust" in Jesus. "Remember from whence thou art fallen"...God likes to remind us of things when we need these reminders. I have children here who need me to remember my mistakes and not repeat them. All I can do now is pray and hope, and so I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted March 24, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,879 Content Per Day: 5.04 Reputation: 23,599 Days Won: 229 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Online Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted March 24, 2007 This has been a great thread for a lot of us reading it but in the end each child will make his/her own choice ....My two sisters and I were brought up in a non church going home ...we were given bibles when we were children but were expected to keep them clean and tidy in their box not actually read them and although my father claims to reject any idea of God , my mother keeps her council to herself ( but we are still praying for her with great hope in our hearts ) all three of us are born again ..in fact my younger sister has spent her entire life in mission I have 4 children ...all have been brought up in EXACTLY the same way ...the oldest and youngest are saved and the middle two are not ( as far as I know since that is not mine to know but between them and God ) ..so do I feel guilty that I am not good enough as a mum or happy that 50% of my children are saved ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
None Posted March 25, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 39 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/05/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/01/1908 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 This has been a great thread for a lot of us reading it but in the end each child will make his/her own choice ....My two sisters and I were brought up in a non church going home ...we were given bibles when we were children but were expected to keep them clean and tidy in their box not actually read them and although my father claims to reject any idea of God , my mother keeps her council to herself ( but we are still praying for her with great hope in our hearts ) all three of us are born again ..in fact my younger sister has spent her entire life in mission I have 4 children ...all have been brought up in EXACTLY the same way ...the oldest and youngest are saved and the middle two are not ( as far as I know since that is not mine to know but between them and God ) ..so do I feel guilty that I am not good enough as a mum or happy that 50% of my children are saved ? We, as Christians, are never to keep our counsel to ourselves. We are supposed to tell people who do not know or it becomes our fault one day when God judges us. This whole "silent" nonsense being preached everywhere is a lie straight from the devil himself. Jack Chick explained it better. It's a good read, if you like comics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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