Alcohol

[Datan]

Yesterday, my mother and I went to visit my sister; she lives about one-hundred miles away, so it took about an hour and a half. My sister was rather happy because we hadn't seen her house since she remodeled it a bit -- about a year, I guess. So anyway, we leave about eleven in the morning, get stuck in traffic, and get there around one-ish.

My sister, her husband, my mother, and I decided to get some lunch and then go shopping at the Hershey outlets -- you know, to save me some money for back-to-school clothes. We ate, and then went to this really nice furniture store, and the got their stuff and decided to take it back to their house before going on to the outlets.

-sigh-

This is where things get bad.

Arriving back a their house, we got out of the car; my mother's cell phone rings as soon as we're out. I had stuff in my arms, so I brought it in the house for them and waited for my mother to get off the phone. She was out there for a while, actually. At least fifteen minutes.

I chatted with the sister and the brother-in-law while we waited for her, and when she did come in -- finally -- I asked her what took so long.

There was something not quite right about her, and that worried me, but she finally answered. She said, "That was your father, Manda {real name}, and he said that Cole {neighbor's dog} had gotten out and snapped Domino's {my puppy} kneecap."

I froze. Cole is a dalmatian and Domino is a shih tzu; you can see why I'd worry. It's like the Statue of Liberty against a squirrel, you know?

She went on to explain that my father was walking our dog, and he had passed our next-door neighbor's side gate, which was along the alley way. In my father's version of the story, Cole had gotten out and when my father picked Domino up, Cole had seized Domino's leg into his mouth and pulled the tendons and bone. [i apologize for the graphicness; maybe it's not as bad as I think but it makes me queazy.] And our dog has had problems in the past with his legs. He had surgery not too long ago to fix a different kneecap, actually, so that's why we were all so nervous.

Now after relaying all of that onto my sister, my brother-in-law, and myself, my sister and her husband talked amongst themselves, while I just sort of sat there, ready to cry. Domino is my little buddy, although he makes me crazy sometimes -- I still love him. And to think he was hurt -- it just killed me.

My sister finally said to my mom, "Are you sure he's not exaggerating?" My sister is well aware of my dad's drinking problems, and he does exaggerate when he drinks.

My mom couldn't very well answer. She knew he was drinking by the way that he was talking on the phone, and she decided that would should leave, for the dog's sake. After all, if he was really hurt, she couldn't let the poor thing suffer. And we had the car (we only have one that works). No one else would be able to drive my dad to the animal clinic.

So we left.

We felt badly enough for only staying about three hours, but then my dad called my mom's cell phone again, and I picked up. I just wanted to see if my mom was right about his tone and attitude. And she was.

The first thing he said to me was, "What's the code for the movie channel?" Nothing about my doggy. So I gave him the code and hung up.

I was beginning to doubt a lot about his story.

You see, Cole is a very gentle dog. He's big but a baby. I really couldn't imagine him attacking my dog. Yes, they do like to the bark at each other, but they would never get physical.

Anyway, after a very uncomfortable car ride home, we get into our driveway -- if one were to look out the passenger side windows, one could see the window that looks into the computer room. And in there, under the window, is a chair from which the dog looks out the window with.

Guess what? He was right there. Looking out the window, barking -- normal. Absolutely normal.

My mom and I get into the house, and Domino runs toward us and is all excited. And he's just fine.

Above my kitchen [where we entered] is the bathroom. We could hear the rusty pipes creaking and water flowing through them. My dad was washing his mouth out with mouth-wash; he was trying to conceal the smell of whiskey on his breath.

When he finally got down there, he was acting all sweet and caring. But we're smart enough not to buy that load. I just didn't talk to him, and my mother wouldn't either.

Now here's where things get very, very bad. This is a Christian forum, so out of respect for that, I won't repeat what was said, but give a summery instead.

They started to fight after my dad tried to retell the story. But he changed it. First he had said that no one was out there when it happened, but when we got back he tried to say that Travis {Cole's owner} was out there, washing his truck; and he saw everything, yet said nothing. My dad also tried to say that he yelled at Rina {the wife} for leaving the gate opened, but he had said before that no one was there and didn't yell at all. He also tried to get my mother to march over there and cause a whole war over this thing, when, in fact, the dog was perfectly fine.

My mom is not stupid; she said no. She was not going to alienate her friend, for she and Rina are good friends, when the dog was absolutely fine and she couldn't be sure that anything had happened now.

This just made him explode. Like I said, I won't repeat the things he said, however, he did get right in my mom's face with his fist, and threaten her.

When my dad yells -- yelling at the top of his lungs -- the whole neighborhood can hear him. Literally. And I can prove that later on in the story.

So between my mom and I, we were able to convince that the cops were coming for him. The chicken hid upstairs, but only after my mom had found his two whiskey bottles. One was empty; the other was almost gone. Eventually he passed out in his room.

He had been yelling for a while. I think it was at least two hours. It was terrible.

I'm sad to say that it goes on.

While I was at driving school earlier this morning, my mom had run into Rina while she was walking Domino. Poor Rina. Before I even go there, I just have to say how embarrassed I am for my father. I really felt like crying -- and still do -- when my mom told me what occurred.

Apparently a neighbor kid had come over to swim with Rina and Travis' kids, and he didn't close the gate. Well, when my dad and Domino were walking past it, Rina had said hello to my dad, and Cole must have heard that and he ran towards them. But my dad had pushed Domino behind him and that's when the poor dog yelped. My dad hurt him. Keep this in mind for later. And Rina had grabbed Cole by the collar, so there was never ANY contact between the two animals ... at all.

My dad must have walked right up to Rina, and he got in her face -- just as with my mother -- and raised his hand to her, screaming all sorts of terrible things. And she was just stunned. She, her husband, and my parents had been pretty good friends. I babysit for their kids, and they're always inviting me over to use their pool whenever I want -- and they're really nice people.

After all that was said, Rina asked my mom if she could he honest with her, and my said yes, of course. Turns out that Rina and Travis could hear all of that screaming he was doing last night -- all the threatening and all the cussing and everything. Oh, just everything.

It's just terrible.

In the end, she won't ever talk to him again. Although she really does still care for my mother and I, but I just feel so bad. Him yelling all of that at her, and doing what he did, that freaking makes me sicker than what he did to my mother. Not that any of that is new to her nor to me, but she's a friend -- she doesn't need it.

My mom told me we're getting our own apartment. She told she's giving him some money to get out.

I'm torn.

And I wish I could say that I feel sad or angry or disgust, but I don't. I don't feel anything. I'm just numbed to it.

I can't cry. I can't just focus on a feeling.

I don't know what to do.

Please help me.

[EricH]

Moved from the General Discussion Forum to the Have a Problem? Looking for Advise? Forum. It will get more and better attention here.

[Datan]

Moved from the General Discussion Forum to the Have a Problem? Looking for Advise? Forum. It will get more and better attention here.

Okay.

Thanks.

[Iryssa]

Oh sweetie.... I'm so sorry to hear this is going on...

I really think your mom is right to get you two away from your dad. He needs a wakeup call. I know how being with an alcoholic is, how it changes a man's personality, how hard it is to accept that he's not the man he could be...I left one like that a long time ago. It took me breaking off our engagement and him getting into a DUI car accident for him to realize just how bad he'd gotten. Maybe this will shock him into straightening up, I don't know...but I think that's something worth praying for.

[Carol R]

Hi,

Its not a nice situation to be in. I will pray for you all.

God Bless you.

Carol R

[Datan]

Oh sweetie.... I'm so sorry to hear this is going on...

I really think your mom is right to get you two away from your dad. He needs a wakeup call. I know how being with an alcoholic is, how it changes a man's personality, how hard it is to accept that he's not the man he could be...I left one like that a long time ago. It took me breaking off our engagement and him getting into a DUI car accident for him to realize just how bad he'd gotten. Maybe this will shock him into straightening up, I don't know...but I think that's something worth praying for.

You're right, Iryssa. You really are. And I know that you know it isn't as easy as that; it just doesn't change what has to be done.

I always pray for him, but it seesm to do no good at all. It's like ... God is ignoring that one prayer I say every night. Or maybe this has to happen to have my dad get better. I really don't know.

Anyway. You're a doll for sharing that with me, and I really hope everything is better now for the both you.

Thanks a lot. :]

[Datan]

Hi,

Its not a nice situation to be in. I will pray for you all.

God Bless you.

Carol R

Thanks, Carol. You're very kind, and very right; this is a terrible situation to be in. But with prayers from all of you, I'm sure we'll weather this storm too.

[Scarletprayers]

Honey

I think your Mom's doing the right thing, for her and for you. I'll be praying!

[Iryssa]

Oh sweetie.... I'm so sorry to hear this is going on...

I really think your mom is right to get you two away from your dad. He needs a wakeup call. I know how being with an alcoholic is, how it changes a man's personality, how hard it is to accept that he's not the man he could be...I left one like that a long time ago. It took me breaking off our engagement and him getting into a DUI car accident for him to realize just how bad he'd gotten. Maybe this will shock him into straightening up, I don't know...but I think that's something worth praying for.

You're right, Iryssa. You really are. And I know that you know it isn't as easy as that; it just doesn't change what has to be done.

I always pray for him, but it seesm to do no good at all. It's like ... God is ignoring that one prayer I say every night. Or maybe this has to happen to have my dad get better. I really don't know.

Anyway. You're a doll for sharing that with me, and I really hope everything is better now for the both you.

Thanks a lot. :]

Well, I didn't get back together with him...turns out God had someone else for me ...but he did get help for his drinking, I've heard, and I'm happy about that, for his family's sake (especially his little sister's...I really was so attached to her).

[Guest]