Need a little input from ya'll

[Guest ReflectionsofHim]

First I have to say that I've long since forgiven the person I'm about to speak about and I've been in counseling about it in the past and have spent a lot of time in God's Word in regards to forgiveness so I want to first say that this is not a lack of forgiveness issue anymore. Even my Christian psychologist says that some of what I'm experiencing will always be normal, but I'd like to bounce it off a few of you that are compassionate to my issue.

Long story short, my mother drank and used drugs when she was pregnant with me over 43 years ago. I have a lot of health problems and many of them are due to that drinking and drug abuse. Having spent time with my mama before she died a recovered alcoholic and Christian, we made our peace with one another and I've long since forgiven her.

Here is the problem...I guess a problem is what it is. My gut feeling tells me it is Satan coming at me to lie to me so here goes and it's short.

When I am in a period of sickness and that is fairly often I get angry at her for having been an alcoholic while she was pregnant with me and leaving me with all this to deal with (some of it is my own fault but the doctors have pinned down the health problems caused during invitro). I don't want to be angry and I rebuke it. Many tell me that this is normal especially when we are actually in the middle of being sick because we just don't feel good for starters. As I said my Pastor and psychologist said this would always be a bit normal.

I need a little input on this and I definitely want some prayer on this on an ongoing basis for any of you that feel led to do that. I want to just deal with the "cross" I have to bear without any negativity and anger.

Thanks for listening and adding anything anyone may add.

Love through our Jesus,

Ref

:hug:

[cymba22]

Praying for you...and quite honestly i too believe your feelings as normal...you did not ask to be born ill through anothers substance misuse and when your sick because of it then it makes it all the worse....there is such a thing as justifiable anger even in a christian and its not from satan...so long as its upset over how you came to be ill and not the person involved...but for anyone even a christian to say well you should be thankfull this that and the other is rediculas...we all have moments when we're not the ideal christian(believe me i'm the worse culprit in not being the ideal christian)

dont be so hard on yourself :hug:

praying that God takes control of this in you , to use it for his glory

[Guest ReflectionsofHim]

so long as its upset over how you came to be ill and not the person involved

I should have added this...sometimes I do get angry with her as well as how I came to be ill. And I think, she's up there in Heaven and I'm stuck down here with the health mess she left me with. Does that sorta shed a bit more light on it? I didn't sleep much last night so kinda duh huh today...o.k. everyday but that's beside the point.

Thank you, Sweetie!

Love to you through Jesus!

Ref

:hug:

[traveller]

I know exactly where you're coming from Ref! We feel like we've been robbed of something, and rightfully so. For satan comes to steal, kill and destroy the wonderful creations that God made.

I think it's okay to be angry, because you are going through an adjustment period that will or may last a lifetime. We are always "adjusting" to our circumstance and health conditions, even without the background that you have. But sis, take heart!

One of the most amazing passages in the bible is when David returned home with his army only to find that the enemy had invaded while he was away and kidnapped every wife son and daughter. AND, they had burned all the homes. David and his men had lost everything. Everything. And they lost heart. It said they cried until they had no more power to cry. And then what happened? David called upon the Lord.

1Sa 30:8 And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake [them], and without fail recover [all].

See that? God said to pursue, overtake and RECOVER ALL. And David did just that and they got back all that the enemy had stolen.

See, just because our circumstances are like they are right now, doesn't mean that they will always be that way. However it turns out, our Father is there with you, shaping the very path you walk on. What an adventure this life is! What possibilities.

You will be in my prayers! :il:

[WayneB]

Paul encouraged us in his letter to the Romans when he wrote:

Romans 8

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Awesome...in ALL things God works for the good of His children! Praise God!

Bless you sister,

Wayne