Hi Zoe
There was one thing in particular that I noticed you said in your post, in which i may have a little insight.
I noticed when you were talking about reading your devotionals (very good by the way), that you've gone through all the verses on depression, anorexia, etc. You are now well versed in these areas (again, good).
The one thing that we can't do though sweetie, is arm ourselves with an attitude of "if i do this, i will get better", or "I read everything and it didn't really help me". When we do this, we are taking on our problems with our own agenda in fixing it.
I love the expression of "Let Go and Let God". We need to give it all to Him, who is the great Physician. There is nothing we can do about our situations in and of ourselves. God wants us to surrender to Him, all our problems, our fears, our joys, our thoughts, .....everything.
Sometimes we (me included) read the bible for a solution, and while it is the means to a solution, we sometimes look to it for knowledge, rather than seeking God's heart. Our number one priority when reading the bible should be to see God's heart. The rest will follow. Healing, obedience, light, fruits of spirit, etc.
While you are in your depression though Zoe, do not think of it as all bad. Right here, where you are....is when our Great God will teach you things. Embrace that part of your pain and suffering. Look for the lesson He is trying to help you grow with. This makes me think of James 1 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
In our trials, we know that God is transforming us to be more Christ like and is preparing us for life in eternity with him, where there is no more pain or weeping.
Love Quizzy