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layhoma

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  1. Even in today's standard in churches when physical abuses are reported in marriages they would intervene by recommending the victim to separate in hopes that restoration may take place to mend the relationship. But never suggest the possibility of a divorce. Divorce seems like a taboo unless it involves unfaithfulness or the death of a spouse. Anything beyond is like uncharted territory for us Christians. Long story short, it involves the testimony of a female friend. She got involved back less than 2 years ago with a man she met in her night classes in College. He was a divorcee. Because he knew she was a Christian and he wasn't, he showed his resolve by voluntarily taking up Bible classes and later to become a born again Christian. When the time was ripe, he proposed. She accepted. I'm sure you have already spotted a few red flags. Just a few weeks ago, she left him with a few boxes of her belongings, rented a beat up room and is filing for a divorce. She was hiding a lot of shame until she told me all about it recently. I will have to take her words, not only because I've known her for 25 years, but because she is a genuine God fearing woman. So whatever she confesses it sticks, in my book. Based from her testimony, her husband is not what she thought would be by breaking promises upon promises he made before marriage. There's no point in getting into the nitty gritty details, but based from 4 undeniable facts, this marriage is a sham, for lack of a better word. 1. He is driving a wedge between her friends and even her parents. He hates her visiting or contacting her parents by phone. He rejects the idea of helping them out by financial means even though he has high earnings. So much for honouring mom and dad. 2. He is a miser. Even when she requires medical help when she has depression, he refuses to pay for her medical bill. His reason is it's all in her head. So much for loving your wife. 3. He uses the analogy of having made a bad investment in this marriage. Always juxtaposing their marriage as a bad investment (yes in monetary value). Whatever that means.. 4. He publicly and privately demeans and disparage his wife with unfathomable languages in short of physically striking her. He knows not how to build, but quick to accuse. I can't judge this man because I don't know him. More importantly, I can't because I don't want the Lord to judge me. BUT what I have is spiritual discernment. I can tell by the fruits of a person by his deeds, that much I can tell you. So back to the initial topic, what would you do if you were in her shoes? She is being emotionally traumatized in the past 18 months. Their counselor (Pastor) has reached the conclusion that the husband has his heart so hardened that he finds no fault and unwilling to compromise. In fact, he has made several attempts to threaten her for a divorce just to incite terror and exert control over her. There is no end in sight. In such an abusive relationship what would you do? Better yet, what would Jesus do?
  2. I Just checked the online store for The Thompson Chain Reference Bible and they are all available only in NKJV. As English is my second language, I can only comprehend NIV. Is the NKJV close to the NIV ? Is it an easy read ? Thanks again for the heads up. In Chirst
  3. Hi, I don't even know where to start. I need a book that will help me not as much as to answer life perplexing questions biblically, but more importantly to direct me to the exact verses in the Bible to where such questions may be addressed or answered. I have many questions but don't know where to search in the Bible for answers. I want to buy just that book at Christianbook.com but not sure what the category or title should be. Can anyone suggest? Thanks in advance In Christ
  4. I have been attending this Church for several years. I believed it's an Anglican based church. 99% of the praise & worship services I felt comfortable with except for the 1%. I tried to disregard this incident that happened about 3-4 times but I felt a great sense of unease on my last service. The preacher had a long sermon about praying to St Andrew ....etc Natually my mind was blocked. Suffice to say I'm a bible following Christian. I hope I don't offend any bros or sis who are catholic but I choose to believe that the only prayers I'm allowed to make are those directed to the Triune God. Trinity. It is extremely challenging for me to accept the concept of praying to a Saint so he could more effectively relay our prayers to the Almighty. That is the concept no ? I need your sharing and opinion on this subject. You don't have to reveal your denomination, it's irrelevant. This isn't a debate. I'm just here to seek enlightenment and whether my reaction is justified. Thanks
  5. Thanks everyone. I think I can now distinguish the difference in two words. Hope and Forgiveness. Blessings
  6. Karma is something out from the new age movement and has roots in some Pagan religion. Since being a Christian, I refuse to use it, but instead I would quote "you reap what you sow". Opt out to be politically correct, both serve the same meaning. Anyone would like to elaborate?
  7. Bearing fruits are a process of true Christians. But the meter is often misleading. Some who have met Christ over a long period would bear much fruit. But someone who has just met Christ, still being milk fed, most likely that person would still struggle with earthly sins and bad habits which takes time to clean. So here is my take. Instead of putting someone on the 10 commandment list, which no one would ever measure up; I would see how the person is transformed over a period of time. There are those that became Christians for only a few short years that exhibit more Christlike behaviors more than those of a lifetime believer.
  8. Very True! You have struck a cord. Most sincere followers of Christ are usually quite subtle. They don't go around like a salesman. Meekness and Humbleness are hard to counterfeit.
  9. Surely I have learned to pick up the cross daily and there will be pain and persecution for the sake of Jesus. But Never thought the enemies would be so close to us. I hate to call them enemies although all factors point to the fact but I fear judging blatantly for we were taught not to. So deep down I wish they were back slide Christians. But if my friend is used as their collateral damage then its better to jettison as far as possible. Enough of hypocrisy, for the lack of a better word
  10. Oh I address her as my Ex because we had shared a decade of trust and love together. I would say she is my best friend. But that is an understatement. It's platonic thingy. Next best thing to a marriage.
  11. My Ex and I would usually prance around in jubilation whenever we meet Christians from all walks of life. After two years of her testimony in 2 different jobs, she now cringes at the thought of meeting self proclaimed Christians, particularly in workplaces. Long story short: my friend is the victim of Christian prosecution. She is a very simple girl, heart of gold and always thinks of the positive sides of people instead of negative. I see her as a diamond in the rough, things she does I could never do and I always see her very blessed, with having a strong image of Christ. That said, the following 3 people that changed her view, and mine too, forever, toward Self-professed Christians. Job A: 7 months she was constantly harassed through verbal abuses and slandering from a person (co-worker) who timidly claimed to have been baptized. This lady is a very manipulative and controlling person. Full of jealousy and constantly gangs to form an alliance to rid of her. One time my friend almost called the police because she felt her life was threatened. The employer was a high profile figure in the community so my Ex only option is to resign and let it slide. Job B: (1). A Lady literally claps her hands and screamed in joy after learning that my Ex is a Christian the first day on her new job because she too is a sister in Christ, so she said. They worked closely together and it didn't take long to discover the Lady is a showman. She always asks my Ex to help her quote scriptures and uses them at the end of business letters just to tell the world how spirit filled she is. In other words, this lady will use the name of Christ to further her career because her boss (My Ex also) is a high profile Christian who does a lot of charity fund raising. She says what people want to hear but not what she believe in. She doesn't practice what she preaches. Period. She is always on the receiving end and seldom reciprocate. She does things illegal just to get on the boss's good side without having fear of God. She too often causes discord among the peers through gossip. Job B (2). The boss, the CEO of this company my Ex works directly under her. She is a high profile fund raiser and spend much time releasing her testimony in front pages of magazines. After two weeks when their honeymoon period is over, her boss showed her true colors. She often loses her temper and go ballistic. She screams and blast at my Ex most days of the week over trivial things. Her voice could be heard reverberating across the hallway and seems like people who have worked there are very used to her troubled mental state of chaos. One time she stood up and literally threw her hair against the wall and my Ex was petrified with fear. In the west, such abuses are criminal but here in Asia, people in high places are virtually untouchable. Again broken hearted, she left. Bear in mind I have no right to judge others less I'd be judge but I have all the given right fed by the words of God from the bible that I must have the wisdom to discern if people are truly disciples by their fruits. Everything I have written so far are observations that my Ex has shared with me and I have no doubt her every word is true without exaggeration. That's what hurts. The findings are very disappointing. Having my Ex share her ongoing ordeals in the past 2 years been betrayed by members of the body of Christ is the worst kind of betrayal a follower could ever endure. I guess we both are still naive. There is little hiding in work places because there are many political agendas and conflict of interests that bring out the worst in a person. The need to climb the corporate ladder, the want to get a pay raise by stepping down others or the ambition to have power corrupt the hearts. These may be the very same people whom we may shake hands in churches while saying "may peace be with you". I guess we are very near end time. Matthew 24:12 And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.
  12. Through prayers, after having her last 3 jobs with very abusive employers, she has now landed in a job with a high position that serves under a Chairman of a Listed Company whose nature is Financial Investments. Very soon she found out that part of the company invests in casino businesses locally and internationally. Perplexed she has hit an impasse. A decent job nowadays is hard to find at this difficult time. This job is almost like a needle in a haystack. Is it providence of God or a ruse of the enemy ? The business is legit and the casinos investments are licensed by local government. Her job nature is to assist her boss in paper work and research but not directly running the gambling part but still there's something that she is unease about and I guess the reason is obvious. Before anyone of you would jump into any judgements, could it be possible that she was put there for a reason ? That she has something to learn and perhaps she has a mission behind the enemy's line (if there is one)? Her boss treats her very kind and fair whereas her last 3 jobs she was constantly being abused by previous employers. For once she felt like a human being with some dignity attached. Put yourself in her shoes, what would you be thinking? What would you do? Your sharing would be much appreciated.
  13. I guess that person has made his point blatantly. I thought the Shepard is supposed to set an example and lead the sheep. But again, he is just human after all. I wonder if Jesus would pause whenever a person enters the crowd of 5000
  14. Yes indeed. God appoints a delegation to take care of the church as well as His sheep which reminds me of this verse: 1 Corinthians 1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.… Thus the motive of having the doors shut when service begins......is it out of love ??
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