chrysanthemum

Thank you for your advice. I know it's a bad situation, but I also know the core of my husband's heart. He really does have such a good heart. He's been hurt a lot by many who have used him. I'm praying he'll see the truth, but I know when he does, it'll hurt him. Thank you so much for your prayers and your wisdom!

1. Yes she does claim to be a Christian, but I know her well enough to say that she has very questionable morals. 2. Yes, he has said that. 3. Yes he knows I saw the messages. 4. I know they haven't had a physical relationship because I keep very close tabs on him, I always know where he his due to this situation. When I was friends with her, they were never really alone together, there was always someone around. I do however, know that she has kissed him on a couple occasions, and has sent him racy, provocative photos of herself to him. Basically just enough to keep him drawn to her. I know she would never be with him because I've heard her say that she finds repulsive and disgusting. She's told others that as well. I know it could've been a lie, but I feel deep down that one of the few truths she's told. She likes having him around to boost her ego and to help her feel good about herself.

I've read messages between them. She does nothing to stop him from talking to her that way, no lines drawn, no boundaries, and she's married as well. Instead, she eggs it on, and she eats it up. She loves that he talks to her that way. Telling her how beautiful she is, that there is no woman more beautiful than her, he's never loved anyone as much as he loves her, he'd do anything to be with her, etc. That's barely scratching the surface.

He hasn't had any physical relations for her, but he lusts over her, and wants her so badly. he hasn't talked to me the way he talks to her in years...

Yes, we're both Christians. I'm very devout, pray all the time, go to church regularly, surround myself with trusted Christian friends. My husband, sadly, has fallen out of fellowship with the Lord.

A former friend of mine has a Jezebel spirit in her. It's so bad that she has my husband "hypnotized", and thinking more highly of her than he does me. It's been going on for quite a long time now. It was behind my back for a while, but I had suspicions. After a couple years, some things came to light, I didn't want to assume the worst, and wanted to trust my husband, but it kept going on in secret. I never knew it was a demonic spirit until a few weeks ago. I've tried to help my husband see the truth, but it only makes him angry, and he accuses me of hating her and wishing harm on her, when I don't. How should I handle a situation like this? How can I break the stronghold this woman and spirit within her has on my husband? I'm so worried for his soul.

Thanks LadyC. Everything you said just confirms all the things I've been saying and thinking. He wonders why I get so upset when I find out he's been speaking with her, and you worded it perfectly. I've been so scared to seek counsel out of fear of being judged because I feel like I brought most of this on myself. I don't know maybe it's time to get over that fear and just go. It'd probably do me a world of good, even if I went by myself. As for my husband going, I don't think he would go, he's not big on couneling and therapy, especially when he thnks there's no reason for it. I love my husband to the moon and back, I've had his back on just about everything, but certainly not this...

I'm seeking biblical and Godly advice on a very tough situation that I've been dealing with for years now. I'll try to make it as short as I can. I was best friends with a girl for roughly 8 years, I'll call her Jane here. Jane and I were really close, she seemed very sweet, and just a really great person to be around. We did everything together, and I poured my heart out to her over all those years. We seemed to have more ups than downs, but things weren't exactly what they seemed. After Jane had an affair, she abandoned our friendship because I disapproved of her cheating on her husband. We went from talking everyday, seeing eachother several times a week, to only talking once every three weeks, and seeing eachother roughly every six weeks or so. I realized my importance to her, or lack there of, at that point. When she called, she only called because she wanted/needed some thing from me. We would have idle chit chat for a few minutes, then she'd cut to the chase. It was always money for this or that, or watching her children, or a ride somewhere. As a very giving and caring person, I went out on a limb numerous times to help Jane, not expecting a thing in return, while also hoping that helping her would repair our friendship. After several months of doing this, I finally tested her. I stopped calling and texting just to see if she would make any effort in our friendship. I eventually didn't hear from her at all. I was kind of relieved, because it was quite a burden worrying about her, and wanting so desparately to have our old friendship back to the way it was, yet I was angry because I felt abandoned and alone. After a few months of no contact with her, God opened my eyes to how our friendship was all along. Just how toxic and one sided the friendship was the whole time. I couldn't believe I had let myself be so blind. I cried for weeks because I felt so broken. She used me up until I was completely dry, and had nothing left to give. She manipulated me in so many ways. She lead me to believe that she loved me and cared for me while she spoke terrible things about my family and me behind our backs, and spread awful lies about us. I realized that she made many attepts to ruin my good name, and make me look bad. I felt all alone because she got extremely jealous if I tried to have other friends and not include her, so I eventually had no friends at all. She completely alienated me from all of my old friends, and even attempted to alienate me from my family by speaking ill words about me to them. The list goes on and on, I could write a long novel about it. All these things were being revealed to me in sudden waves over time. I felt so angry towards her, confused, broken, alone, empty, dry, dead inside, and even angry at myself for allowing it all to happen. I guess that's what a "loyal to a fault" person, such as myself, gets. On the other hand, I was very grateful and thankful that God opened my eyes to see what others around me were seeing. It was my way of knowing that God has my back, and He's looking out for me. It has been over 8 months since I last spoke with her. I'm finding it so hard to cope after such a toxic friendship. I feel so dead inside, still, even these days. I feel like I have nothing to give, and I'm so burnt out and so scared to make an effort in most of my friendships, and even my realtionship with my husband because I'm afraid It'll all happen again. I spent most of my adult life being controlled, pushed around, and trampled on by her that I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to live my life. Gosh, seeing that in writing makes it seem so pathetic and ridiculous. Now, let me get to the, I guess the hardest part of the situation. I'm trying hard to move on with my life, and be happy, yet Jane's just around every corner keeping tabs on me like I'm a child. When we first stopped speaking, she moved just around the corner from me. Then, a while back, my husband and I moved to another town, one that she said she'd never live in. Yet, low and behold, she moved to the same town, exactly one month later... You see, Jane is a beautiful girl, and she knows it. She loves knowing that men find her attractive. Before my husband and I even started dating, she wrapped him so tightly around her little finger, even to this day, she has him wrapped. My husband continues texting secretly with Jane on a somewhat consistent basis. I have explained to him why she and I are no longer friends, and I have prayed and prayed that God would open my husband's eyes and heart just as He did mine. My husband doesn't understand at all, and anytime we talk about it, it ends up in a fight. I am sick of feeling like I have to compete with some one who's so narcassistic and manipulative. I literally have a headache and am sick to my stomach as I write this. I'm not the type of woman to dress up everyday, do my hair and make up real nice everyday. I'm more of a natural look, with ponytail, and jeans and tee shirt kind of woman, while Jane the opposite of me. I know deep in my heart that my husband isn't cheating on me, he's not like at all. He's just severely blind to it all. I wish I knew what to do. Since my husband and I can't seem to agree on this situation, and I cannot talk to Jane about all this. I tried once, and it all blew up in my face. I so desperately want to move on, and be happy. I don't want an enemy out of her, I don't want to be her enemy, but I surely do not want to be friends. I just want us to be nothing to eachother, and for her to leave my husband alone, and for him to leave her alone. I'm sorry this is so long. Does anyone have any advice to give? Thanks in adavance! God Bless P.S. If you ever notice any warning signs of a toxic friendship, please get out while you can. Please don't let it consume your life and your being! <3