CAB59

Thanks everyone for your input and your encouraging words. I am am trying and fighting my hardest. Have read what everyone has posted, have been reading and studying the Bible and praying every chance I get even when I get in the vehicle to drive. Am praying for strength, wisdom and guidance and yes have used the word "I" a lot in my post. Even though I know he is there and keep praying to him things just keep getting worse everyday and feel like Im about to have a nervous breakdown. Time is running out on a few things that is going on in my life right now and the pressure that is being put upon me is just more than I can handle right now. Dont know what to do. With a snap of the fingers I know he can change anything and make miracles happen, but I just cannot get out of this depression that I am going through right now. Every phone call every minute that goes by and every negative thing that is happening throughout the day is just tearing me more and more apart. Im just tired.

I agree with what you have said and I want nothing more than to be filled with the Joy of the Lord. I want to praise him and worship all day long, What I am facing right now is that I continue to feel empty and broken. Every time something good happens and I say thank you to God it is within a very short time that things start heading back down hill and all seems to start crashing down on me. This seems to be happening daily now and joy comes and then turns around and get sucker punched with something bad. I will start reading and studying and start feeling really good and say thank you to God and then boom out of no where get hit again. Trying to make it through each day but it honestly feels like I am loosing more and more of my self everyday. I know that life is going to have its challenges and will get knocked down and that everything here on earth will not be a bed of roses, but I am just trying to find out what I need to do because it is getting harder and harder and I just get worse everyday. Everything that is going on is taking it all out of me and bringing me down lower and lower everyday, and somedays dont even have the strength to get out of bed. The last couple of years have been really rough on me and I just feel like I cannot do it anymore. I cant take no more and just want to through it in and give up. Not to the point where I would ever do anything dumb just want to stay in bed and not move anymore. I came here for help not for pity, and really want to get through this and be able to come out the other side. Couple of months ago I was reading and studying and got a vision of what I should be doing in my life by serving others and the part that I just cannot grasp is that if this vision is giving to me then why do I seem to be going down hill and feeling more and more empty inside? Why do is the feeling of hurting so bad each and everyday keep happening? I am just so confused and cannot make sense of it.

Hello all and hope you are doing well today. I found this site while in the search of trying to find others to talk with about what was going on my life. I have been a Christian for many years and did stray away for some time but found my way back about 6 years ago. Have experienced many ups and downs over the years which is normal. But lately things have been so hard and I am going through the hardest time ever in my life. I pray and pray, study and read but nothing is getting better. I do believe that I can do all things through him that gives me strength and that he is always there, even closer when you are going through times of trouble. But times are so hard right now and praying for strength and guidance, but seems like my world is falling apart piece by piece. Every time something good happens it is withing just a few hours that something bad happens and it is not just one thing it is many. Whenever one good thing happens it is like three bad things happen and it is tearing me down. I feel so broken, so empty inside like life is just crushing me. I have spoken to my pastor (who is now on mission trip for next two weeks) and felt better after leaving just to wake up the next morning to crushing news. I just dont know what to do, or say and came here trying to find others to talk too. Sorry for going on but it feels like im out of options and just dont know what to do. Open to any input and hope you have a good day.