Quasar93

A pharmacist walked into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall."What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant.

"He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives.""

You idiot" said the chemist, "You can't treat a cough with laxatives."

"Of course you can" the assistant replied, "Look at him......he dosn't dare cough now!!"


Quasar93

On 3/15/2018 at 10:14 AM, Last Daze said:

Yes, and I agree with that pattern.  Seven, and seven within the seventh.

When do you see Zechariah 9:14 taking place?

Reference to the last trumpet, by Paul, in 1 Cor.15:52, is sounded by God, as recorded in Zech.9:14, at Jesus seconf coming as well as in 1 Thess.4:16, when He comes form His Church.

Reference in Rev.11:15 to the seventh angel sounding his trumpet, has nothing at all to do with the last trump of God.

Quasar92

On 3/20/2018 at 12:24 PM, Still Alive said:

I don't think the bible says there wasn't a world of life before Adam. I think people just infer that. And reality does not support that inference.

The Bible does not teach us that the earth revolves around the sun, or that it contains coal and oil in it either.  As well as countless other things about it.  Because it is specifically intended to teach us about God and His plan of how He reconciles man to Himself through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.  Open your mind to things the Bible does not teach nor was it intended to do so.

Quasar93 

On 3/23/2018 at 11:33 AM, Mary8 said:

A little story.   Once a local professor went to Europe for a summer vacation and asked me to drive his Porche for a few weeks.   I did so, found I could work the shifting, and when I would drive through downtown campus corner, I found that college kids all stopped in their tracks to try to see who was driving, and I think my sunglasses added to the mystery.   I must have been past 50 then.

Glad to have you back posting.

Greetings Mary,

I once owned a Porche back in '56-'58.  It was a real experience in driving.  I had to sell it because of an operation on my right arm to repair torn muscles.  So I had to opt for a car with an automatic trans

Quasar93.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage.

If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.

This is a recorded announcement.”


Quasar93

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."


And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted."

From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

"Last one off the plane must clean it."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!"

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.

Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."


Quasar93

1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

3) Evening massage - 6 p.m.

4) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

5) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

6) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

7) Ushers will eat latecomers.

8) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

9) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

11) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

12) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

13) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

14) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued
until further notice.


Quasar93 

SR-71 Blackbird: Fastest and highest flying aircraft in the world. Now retired.

Records

The SR-71 remained the world's fastest and highest-flying operational manned aircraft throughout its career. From an altitude of 80,000 ft (24 km), it could survey 100,000 square miles per hour (72 square kilometers per second) of the Earth's surface. In addition, it was accurate enough to take a picture of a car's license plate from this altitude.

On 28 July 1976, an SR-71 broke the world record for its class: an absolute speed record of 2,193.1669 mph (3,529.56 km/h), and a US "absolute altitude record" of 85,068.997 feet (25,929 m). Several planes exceeded this altitude in zoom climbs but not in sustained flight.

When the SR-71 was retired in 1990, one was flown from its birthplace at United States Air Force Plant 42 in Palmdale, California to go on exhibit at what is now the Smithsonian Institution's Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center (an annex of the National Air & Space Museum) in Chantilly, Virginia.

The Blackbird, piloted by Colonel Ed Yielding and Lt. Col. J.T. Vida, set a coast-to-coast speed record at an average 2,124 mph (3,418 km/h). The entire trip was reported as 68 minutes and 17 seconds. Three additional records were set within segments of the flight, including a new absolute top speed of 2,242 mph measured between the radar gates set up in St. Louis and Cincinnati. These were accepted by the National Aeronautic Association (NAA), the recognized body for aviation records in the United States.

Waych the video:

Quasar93

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 of the 10 questions correct,” asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the Department manager.

“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the rejected applicant inquired.

“Simple,” said the Department manager, “Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, "Neither do I."

Quasar93


 

An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven. He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.

A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there. “That old fool,” she chuckled. “I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!”

Quasar93 
 

44 minutes ago, Retrobyter said:

Shalom, Quasar93, and may God bless you in SPITE of the poor teaching you've received.

Don't you find it rather odd and disingenuous for "scientific researchers" to come up with dating methods that test in the millions of years when there's no evidence that such millions of years ever existed?

As I said to HAZARD just now, "When someone goes LOOKING for a particular answer, he will ALWAYS find it 'right where he thought it was!'"

If one is already convinced that the earth has to be millions and billions of years old, he going to find the "evidence" "just as he knew he would!" I've SEEN stalactites growing from old air conditioner window units three and four inches long, like rockhard icicles! Obviously, they couldn't have been older than the AC units themselves, and certainly not older than air conditioning units have been invented! Yet, we are told in almost every cave tour I've taken, "Limestone stalactites form extremely slowly – usually less than 10cm every thousand years." How can they possibly know that if they've not been around for at least a thousand years? Let's see: 10 cm x 1 in / 2.54 cm = 10/2.54 in = 3.937 in. So tell me, how can those stalactites, dripping off limestone rocks above onto the AC window unit and dripping off the bottom of the machine's casing forming these 3-4 in "icicles" possibly be a THOUSAND YEARS OLD?! Obviously not, right? So, there must be some "extenuating circumstances" that change the expected outcome! (Oh, and btw, these stalactites also had button stalagmites growing below them about a third of the stalactite's length.)

Evolutionism is a much a matter of FAITH as is Creationism.

And may God Bless you, Retrobyterm in spite of your refusal to accept the overwhelming evidence for an old earth.  Whether ew or old does NOT ALTER the fact God created it  See more evidence from the California Calistoga Petrified Forest in the following article.

http://www.californiabeat.org/2009/03/13/an-eye-opening-collection-of-petrified-trees-at-famed-calistoga-forest

How the age f the earth and universe was calculated:

https://biologos.org/common-questions/scientific-evidence/ages-of-the-earth-and-universe/

Quasar93

Deep in the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.

" Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world."Whoa there" said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby."No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?

Quasar93

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing. If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage.

If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.

This is a recorded announcement.”

Quasar93
  

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

Quasar93

 

Oops!  Church notice bulletins:

1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be 
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. 

3) Evening massage - 6 p.m. 

4) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. 

5) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. 

6) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door. 

7) Ushers will eat latecomers. 

8) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. 

9) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 

10) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. 

11) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." 

12) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. 

13) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience." 

14) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.


Quasar93

2 hours ago, Retrobyter said:

Shalom, Quasar93.

And, they're all WRONG!

Sorry, but this is NOT a democratic vote! I really don't care how many "countless others" there are who suggest a very old earth. You said it before:

"This matter is of importance not only to evolutionists, but to theistic evolutionists, creationists, and other 'old-Earth creationists.' While a young Earth presents no problem whatsoever for a creationist, it is the death knell to each and every variety of the evolutionary scenario."

"First, theistic evolution and progressive creation are impossible if the Earth is young."

Well, I hate to break it to you, but the Bible claims "the Earth is young." These are POSITIVE statements not negative! (Actually, I don't "hate" it at all; I RELISH the truth!)

Ironically, you quoted Proverbs 8 which is about the origin of WISDOM. God "created" Wisdom before He did anything else in Creation. However, again, there are a few verses that are NOT about the original Creation but the re-making of the environment after the Flood!

All the links to different makings and creations within this chapter of Proverbs are about the comparison between that making or creation and that of Wisdom. They are NOT compared to each other!

Proverbs 8:25-31 (KJV)

25 Before the mountains were settled, before the hills was I brought forth:
26 While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world.
27 When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth:
28 When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep:
29 When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth:
30 Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him;
31 Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.

The highlighted portions are references to the RE-MAKING of the earth and skies AFTER the Flood, probably borrowed from Psalm 104, which may have been one of David's songs!

The following is my rebuttal to your above extensive contribution. It covers far more than a response to your post, but much too lengthy to post here.  It is a long read, in proof of an old earth age so be forewarned.  Regardless of whether a young or old earth age, God created it through the pre-incarnate Jesus Christ, as recorded in Heb.1:1-2. 

Evidence against a young earth age

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Evidence_against_a_recent_creation

God Bless.

Quasar93

Dr. Eben Alexander is a second generation neurosurgeon who has taught at Harvard Medical School. He didn't believe in the phenomenon of near-death experiences until he experienced one himself. Now he's proclaiming that heaven is indeed real.

In a Newsweek cover story, Alexander describes himself as a faithful Christian - but "more in name than in actual belief." As a scientist, he could not believe certain things, he said, such as Jesus being anything more than a good man.

But after seven days in a coma a few years ago, his views changed.

It was in 2008 when his entire cortex shut down. It was determined that he contracted a very rare bacterial meningitis that mostly attacks newborns. In other words, E. coli bacteria were eating his brain.

With his chances of survival being very slim, he went into a coma and for seven days his brain functions were "totally offline."

Then it happened on the seventh day.
Follow us

"There is no scientific explanation for the fact that while my body lay in coma, my mind – my conscious, inner self – was alive and well. While the neurons of my cortex were stunned to complete inactivity by the bacteria that had attacked them, my brain-free consciousness journeyed to another, larger dimension of the universe: a dimension I'd never dreamed existed and which the old, pre-coma me would have been more than happy to explain was a simple impossibility," he states in the Newsweek story.

The neurosurgeon now confidently believes that another "dimension" exists. He describes it as "a world where we are much more than our brains and bodies, and where death is not the end of consciousness but rather a chapter in a vast, and incalculably positive, journey."

It was a place of "big, puffy, pink-white" clouds and high above were "flocks of transparent, shimmering beings arced across the sky, leaving long, streamerlike lines behind them."

He also heard a booming sound "like a glorious chant" from above which he later concluded came out of uncontainable joy from these creatures.

"It seemed that you could not look at or listen to anything in this world without becoming a part of it –without joining with it in some mysterious way," he says.

Interestingly, a young woman with deep-blue eyes was with his for most of his journey. Together they rode on the wing of a butterfly and were surrounded by millions of butterflies.

The woman spoke to him but without using any words, he recalls. She said (if translated to earthly language), "You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever. You have nothing to fear. There is nothing you can do wrong."

"The message went through me like a wind, and I instantly understood that it was true. I knew so in the same way that I knew that the world around us was real – was not some fantasy, passing and insubstantial," he states.

Alexander knows how his story will come off to skeptics and other doctors. He's already seen "looks of polite disbelief, especially among my medical friends." But he's firmly convinced that what he experienced is real and has co-founded Eternea to advance research on the physics of consciousness and enhance the understanding of spiritually transformative experiences.

"According to current medical understanding of the brain and mind, there is absolutely no way that I could have experienced even a dim and limited consciousness during my time in the coma, much less the hyper-vivid and completely coherent odyssey I underwent," he wrote.

"Had someone – even a doctor – told me a story like this in the old days, I would have been quite certain that they were under the spell of some delusion. But what happened to me was, far from being delusional, as real or more real than any event in my life. That includes my wedding day and the birth of my two sons."

He adds, "Modern physics tells us that the universe is a unity – that it is undivided ... Before my experience these ideas were abstractions. Today they are realities. Not only is the universe defined by unity, it is also – I now know – defined by love."

After his experience, Alexander went back to church which he hardly attended before.

"I'm still a doctor, and still a man of science every bit as much as I was before I had my experience. But on a deep level I'm very different from the person I was before, because I've caught a glimpse of this emerging picture of reality."

Though many today believe that science, not faith, is "the road to truth," Alexander now understands that "such a view is far too simple."

"The plain fact is that the materialist picture of the body and brain as the producers, rather than the vehicles, of human consciousness is doomed. In its place a new view of mind and body will emerge, and in fact is emerging already. This view is scientific and spiritual in equal measure and will value what the greatest scientists of history themselves always valued above all: truth."

By Audrey Barrick, Christian Post Reporter

Source:http://www.christianpost.com/news/neuro ... eal-82984/


Quasar92

11 hours ago, Retrobyter said:

Shalom, Quasar93.

We don't HAVE "close, evolutionary cousins." What we DO have are "animals" that have similar designs because we have a common Creator!

Tell me, since the "Neanderthal Man" has been found to be an old man with rickets, could you consider that this "new find" might be of the same caliber?

And, what method was used to DATE this find? A cave with "cool temperature and HIGH HUMIDITY" would NOT be conducive to Carbon-14 Dating!

On the other hand:

Age of the earth and universe methods:

https://www.livescience.com/32321-how-is-earths-age-calculated.html

The Pre-Adamic Age and origin if Satan:

http://www.kjvbible.org/satan.html

Review also: Proverbs 8:22-36

Reference is made to earth, before there was any oceans, like we read in Rev.21:1, the New Eternal earth will be.

Quasar92

39 minutes ago, other one said:

I think you are going to find that problem in most places and most subjects.....  People tend not to want to spend the time to understand  complex things that take time to gather all the information to understand one's stand on things.   It's not that people are not intelligent enough to understand, but they just won't take the time to get all the information to do so.

39 minutes ago, other one said:

I think you are going to find that problem in most places and most subjects.....  People tend not to want to spend the time to understand  complex things that take time to gather all the information to understand one's stand on things.   It's not that people are not intelligent enough to understand, but they just won't take the time to get all the information to do so.

Greetings Other One,

Thanks for your input.  Having spent the better part of 20 years on Christian discussion forum sites, I find your views to be prettu much the same with any subject selected, with minor exception.

God Bless!

Quasar93

There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he’d see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory. His friend said, “Sure.”

So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend:“I’ll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down.”

With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about the fellow on the bike and took to drag racing the Corvette.

A little further down the road sat Officer John in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars before his radar flashed 105 mph.

He called into headquarters on his radio: “Hey, you guys aren’t going to believe this, but there’s a Corvette and a Mustang racing out here on Highway 3, and there’s a guy on a bike ringing his bell and waving his arms trying to pass them!”

Quasar93 

Why not check out your own knowledge of the Bible?  Give it a try, just for the fun of it.

http://www.godandscience.org/cgi-bin/quiztest.cgi?basicchristiantheologyquiz

Quasar93