I am a 23 year old female. I've been struggling with my gender and sexuality since I was around 13 years old. I "came out" as gay in highschool. I "came out" as "transgender" a few years after that. I started dressing like a male around that time. I cut my hair short. I wore really baggy male clothes to hide my feminine figure. I even bound my chest.
Everyone in my family knows me as a transgender. They know I like male stuff (Like video games, sci-fi, and fantasy stuff). They started calling me my "preferred name" a few months ago.
I don't want to be known as a transgender or lesbian anymore. I want to be a woman. A godly woman. A woman who wears women's clothes, and covers her head like women are told to in the Bible. I believe pants were made for men. And, 99% of women's pants are too tight and not modest at all.
I want to be a modest woman. I want to start wearing skirts and dresses. I want to grow my hair out. I dont want to sin like this anymore. Is there anyone here who has been suffering the same as me? I really need help right now. I feel so lost.
I prayed to God for help, but, so far, nothing's happened. Well, I don't think anything's happened. I've been watching people's testimonies on YouTube, of ex-transgenders and ex-homosexuals. I think that is God's way of telling me that what I am doing is a sin. Is it? Do you think so?
I've never acted on my homosexual thoughts, but I have watched porn before, and I feel really ashamed, guilty, and disgusted at myself for doing so. I believe masturbation and pornography is a sin, but I can't stop. I'm addicted to it.
Please, anyone, help. Any ex-transgenders or ex-homosexuals, preferably women, on here? I would really like some advice on what to do about this situation. Thanks in advance, God bless, and sorry that this post is so long! ♡
