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About mrsct

  • Birthday 11/05/1974

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  1. When I was sponsoring a group of women, I was trying to help them, but also was a bit of controlling. This caused me to be a bit prideful.
  2. Pride is defined: An inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable feeling of superiority as to one's talents, beauty, wealth, rank, and so forth; disdainful behavior or treatment; insolence or arrogance of demeanor; haughty bearing. We all have pride of some sort. Think about some of the things you are prideful of. What is the few things you have pride about that is being an hindrance?
  3. In our 12 Steps and Biblical Comparison lesson titled "Powerless" We sort of discussed "Only Ifs". We are going to discuss it some more in this weeks lesson. Growing up the abuse I went through, I often heard myself saying things like "Only if I was a better child, my parents would love me." The truth of the matter is no matter what I said or did, it would have never been "good enough" for them. They always found something negative about whatever I had said or done. The abuse I went through would have never stopped. Questions for discussion: 1. What in your past and present have you doing your "Only Ifs"? 2. What are your "Only Ifs"? 3. How are you using it to rationalize what your hurts, habits, and hang-ups?
  4. I will post the questions for discussion in this topic later. We have a lot to discuss before going into the questions.
  5. Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. "For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Romans 7:18 Think About It When we accept the first recovery principle and take that first step out of our denial and into reality, we see there are very few things that we really have control over. Once we admit that by ourselves, we are powerless we can stop living with the following "serenity robbers", we spelled out in the acrostic POWERLESS. Pride Ignorance+power+pride = a deadly mixture! "Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor." Proverbs 29:23 Only if's Our "only ifs" in life keep us trapped in the fantasyland of rationalization! "Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight." Luke 12:2-3, GNT Worry Worrying is a form of not trusting God enough! So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." Matthew 6:34 TLB Escape By living in denial we may have escaped into a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. "For light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is even possible for light to turn it shines upon into light also. Ephesians 5:13-14 PH Resentments Resentments act like an emotional cancer if they are allowed to fester and grow. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 Loneliness Loneliness is a choice. In recovery and in Christ, you never have to walk alone. "Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don't forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" Hebrews 13: 1-2 TLB Emptiness You know that empty feeling deep inside. The cold wind of hopelessness blows right through it. Jesus said, "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness." John 10:10 TLB Selfishness We often pray: "Our Father which art in heaven: give me, give me, give me." Whoever clings t his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it. Luke 17:33 TLB Separation Some people talk about finding God - as if He could ever get lost! "For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God's love away... Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us." Romans 8:38-39 TLB Congratulations! In your admission of your powerlessness you have begun the journey of recovery that will allow you to accept the true and only Higher Power's - Jesus Christ's - healing, love, and forgiveness. At this stage in your recovery, you need to stop doing two things: 1. Stop Denying the Pain You are ready to take your first step in recovery when your pain is greater than your fear. "Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom." Psalm 6:2-3 TLB 2. Stop Playing God You are unable to do for yourself what you need God to do for you. You are either going to serve God or yourself. You can't serve both. "You cannot be a slave of two masters; you will hate one and love the other; you will be loyal to one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24 GNT In addition to stopping certain behaviors, you need to start doing two things: 1. Start Admitting Your Powerlessness As you work the first principle, you will see that by yourself you do not have the power to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits. "Jesus... said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 2. Start Admitting That Your Life Has Become Unmanageable You can finally start admitting that some or all areas of your life are out of control to change. "Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up" Psalm 40:12
  6. Let's introduce ourselves here.... Hello. My name is mrsct (Christine). I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I am in recovery for co-dependency.
  7. Let's look at Hebrews 12:1 (TLB): Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us. There are two things I would like to point out in this verse. First, God has a particular race, a unique plan, for each of us. A plan for good, not a life full of dependencies, addictions, and obsessions. The second thing is that we need to be willing to get rid of all the unnecessary baggage, the past failures, in our lives that keep us stuck. Again, it says "Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up." For many of us, our past hurts, hang-ups, and habits hold us back, trip us up! Many of us are stuck in bitterness over what someone has done to us. We continue to hold on to the hurt and we refuse to forgive the ones who had hurt us. This group is set up for us to discuss our hurts, habits, and hang ups safely. No judgement will be passed. As we work this program, you will see changes that God will make in your life. We are only tools to assist you with the changes you will see. These changes are going to be for the better. Sometimes, they will be painful in the beginning, but will be well worth it in the long run. REMEMBER YOU CAN BE IN RECOVERY FROM YOUR HURTS HABITS AND HANG-UPS WITH GODS HELP.
  8. In my early 20's I was involved with an atheist. In fact we were engaged for a while. It isn't that he didn't believe in nothing. He had beliefs in other things. He just didn't believe in God. To him, he couldn't understand that there was a living God that truly loves him.
  9. Denial has been defined as "a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality" and "a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth." As kids we all learned various coping skills. They came in handy when we didn't get the attention we wanted from our parents and others or to block our pain and fears. For a time these coping systems worked. But as the years progressed they confused and clouded our view of the truth of our lives. As we grew, our perception of ourselves and our expectations of all those around us also grew. But because we retained our childish methods of coping, our perceptions of reality became increasingly more unrealistic and distorted. Our coping skills grew into denial, and most of our relationships ended up broken or less fulfilling than they could have been. Did you ever deny that your parents had problems? Did you ever deny that you had problems? The truth is, we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. But, for some of us, that denial turned to shame and guilt. Denial is the "pink elephant" sitting in the middle of the living room. No one in the family talks about it or acknowledges it in any way. Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you? * "Can't we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse." * "Billy, if we don't talk about it, it will go away." * "Honey, let's pretend that it didn't really happen." * "If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I'm afraid she will leave me." * "He really doesn't drink that much." * "It really doesn't hurt when he does that; I'm fine!" * "Paul drinks more than I do." * "Joan has been married three times; I've only been married twice." * I eat because you make me so mad!" * "If you didn't nag me all the time, I wouldn't...." * "Look honey, I have a tough job; I work hard. I need a few drinks to relax. It doesn't mean that I have a problem." Folks, that's DENIAL.
  10. Write About It 1. What areas of your life do you have power (control) over? Be specific. 2. What areas of your life are out of control, unmanageable? Be specific. 3. How do you think taking this first step will help you? 4. As a child, what coping skills did you use to get attention or to protect yourself? 5. In your family of origin, what was the family secret that everyone was trying to protect? 6. How do you handle pain and disappointment? 7. How can you begin to address your denial? 8. In what areas of your life are you now beginning to face reality and break the effects of denial? 9 Are you starting to develop a support team? List the first name of your support team.
  11. Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor. Matthew 5:3 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. Think About It Before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God tells us< You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" (Jeremiah 6:14 TLB) The acrostic for Denial spells out what can happen if we do not face our denial. Disables our feelings By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits - for we are slaves of anything that has conquered us. 2 Peter 2:19, GNT Energy lost A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading the future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can occur. He frees the prisoners..., he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads (Psalm 146:7-8 TLB) Negates growth We are as sick as our secrets. We cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth. They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains. (Pslam 107:13-14 TLB) Isolates us from God God's light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark. God is lifth; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7) Alienates us from our relationships Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no on knows - but they do? What is the answer? Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves. (Ephesians 4:25 TLB) Lengthens the pain We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt. God's promise: I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds." Jeremiah 30:17 TLB Accept the first principle of recovery. Step out of your denial! Step into your Higher Power's - Jesus Christ's - unconditional love and grace! In the comments are questions to answer. Please post the comments and or questions you have regarding the lesson itself.
  12. Johannatan, I am so sorry it took a while to respond. I have not been online much after work as I am doing a lot of things such as planning a vow renewal ceremony. This includes the crocheting I have to do. I as well deal with a chemical imbalance and understand your struggles. I hope to be able to post more in the future. I hope you had a great week.
  13. I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING VERY TIMELY ON THINGS. CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE IN CERTAIN AREAS OF MINE AND MY HUSBANDS LIFE AND PLANNING A WEDDING. WELL MORE LIKE A VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY. WORK AND THAT ALONE IS TAKING A LOT OF MY TIME. My partnership with Pastor Rick After Celebrate Recovery had been going for a year, Pastor Rick Warren, my senior pastor saw how Celebrate Recovery was helping people in our church family find God's healing from their hurts, hang-ups, and habits. He decided to take the entire church family through a sermon serious called the "Road to Recovery." I want to thank Pastor Rick for allowing me to use his "Road to Recovery" serious as the foundation of this book. Pastor Rick's R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y acrostic identifies 8 principles. As you read the 8 principles and the corresponding beatitudes, you'll begin to understand the choices before you.
  14. I do apologize, I couldn't finish this tonight. I will post the rest of it tomorrow in another post.
  15. One Sunday afternoon a father was trying to take a nap, but his little boy kept bugging him with "Daddy, I'm bored." So, trying to occupy him with a game, the dad found a picture of the world in the newspaper. He cut it up in about fifty pieces and said, "Son, see if you can put this puzzle back together." The dad lay back down to finish his nap, thinking the map would keep his son busy for at least an hour or so. But in about fifteen minutes the little guy woke him up: "Daddy, I've got it finished. It's all together." "Your kidding." He knew his son didn't know all the positions of the nations, so he asked him, "How did you do it?" "It was easy. There was a picture of the person on the back of the map, so when I got my person put together, the world looked just fine." How is your "person" doing? Are you all put together? The fact is that many of us are a mess. We're scattered all over the living-room floor with no one to put us together and no idea where to begin the process of healing. Each of our lives is tangled up with hurts that haunt our hearts, hang-ups that cause us pain, and habits that mess up our lives. Hurts, hang-ups, and habits. There's not a person in the world who doesn't deal with at least one of these on some level-and many of us struggle with all three. The truth is, life is tough. We live in an imperfect world. We've been hurt by other people, we've hurt ourselves, and we've hurt other people. The Bible says it plainly: "All have sinned." That means none of us is perfect: we've all blown it: we've all made mistakes. We hurt, and we hurt others. It's amazing how much better the world looks when our person is put together. And that's what we're going to do in this book. With God's help in making eight healing choices, you are going to be able to put the pieces of your world back together. We'll start with a promise straight from God. There are five ways He promises to help us find freedom from our hurts, hang-ups, and habits. "I have seen how they acted, but I will heal them. I will lead them and help them, and I will comfort those who mourn. I offer peace to all, both near and far! I will heal my people." Notice the five promises God extends: 1. If you are hurt, God says, "I will heal you." 2. If you're confused, God says, "I will lead you." 3. If you feel helpless, God says, "I will help you." 4. If you feel alone, God says, "I will comfort you." 5. If you feel anxious and afraid, God says, "I will offer peace to you." Trusting in His promises, we find hope for a better future-a life of freedom, peace, and happiness. HAPPINESS IS POSSIBLE-BUT YOU'VE GOT TO CHOOSE IT Since the beginning of time, men and women have searched for happiness-usually in all the wrong places, trying all the wrong things. But there's only one place where we can find tested-and-proven, absolutely-gonna-work principles that will lead to healing and happiness. These principles come in the form of eight statements from the truest of all books-the Bible-and from the most revered Teacher of all time-Jesus Christ. Jesus laid out these principles for happiness in the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5. Today we call them "the Beatitudes." Happiness, Jesus says, can be ours, but the pathway to happiness may not be exactly what we're expecting. From a conventional viewpoint, most of the following eight statements don't make sense. At first they even sound like contradictions. But when you fully understand what Jesus is saying, you'll realize these eight statements are God's pathway to wholeness, growth, and spiritual maturity. "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." "Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." "Happy are the meek." "Happy are the pure in heart." "Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires." "Happy are those who are merciful." "Happy are those who work for peace." "Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires." MY OWN PERSONAL CHOICE I know that the eight healing choices work. Why? Because they worked in my life. I have not always been a pastor. Prior to being called into the ministry, I was a successful businessman. I was also a "functional alcoholic." I struggled with my sin addiction to alcohol for nineteen years. Eventually I cam to a point where I was losing everything. I cried out to God for help, and He led me to Alcoholics Anonymous. Even then I knew that my higher power had a name-Jesus Christ!-and I started attending Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. After a year of sobriety, I answered God's call to start a Christ-centered recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. Since 1991, hundreds of thousands of courageous individuals have found the same freedom from their life's hurts, hand-ups, and habits that I did. If these eight choices worked for someone like me. I promise they can work for you too!
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