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About mrsct

  • Birthday 11/05/1974

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  1. I apologize I have not been in here for a while. A lot has taken place. My father in law was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away a week later. During this time, we had to move into another apartment complex. I had to then begin working on getting our apartment unpacked and set up the apartment the way I liked it as well as work. I hope by next month, I will be able to get back into the groove of things in here.
  2. 3. Our Attempts To Play God. We play God by denying our humanity and by trying to control everything for our own selfish reasons. We attempt to be the center of our own universe. We play God by trying to control our image, other people, our problems, and our pain. We Try to Control Our Image We care so much about what other people think of us. We don't want them to know what we're really like. We play games; we wear masks, we pretend; we fake it. We want people to see certain sides of us while we hide others. We deny our weaknesses, and we deny our feelings. "I'm not angry." "I'm not worried." "I'm not afraid." We don't want people to see the real us. Why are we afraid to tell people who we are! The answer is, "If I tell you who I really am and you don't like me, I'm in trouble - because then I'm all I've got." We Try to Control Other People Parents try to control kids; kids try to control parents. Wives try to control husbands; husbands try to control wives. Coworkers vie for office control. People try to control other people. And along the way we develop a lot of tools to manipulate each other. Everyone has his or her preferred methods: Some use guilt and shame; some use praise and affirmation. Others use anger, fear, or an old favorite - the silent treatment. All in efforts to gain control. We Try to Control Our Problems "I can handle it," we say. "It's not really a problem." "I'm okay, really. I'm fine." Those are the words of somebody trying to play God. When we try to control our problems, we say, I don't need any help, and I certainly don't need counseling or recovery." "I can quite anytime. I'll work it out on my own power." When a TV repairman was asked about the worst kind of damage he'd ever seen to a television set, he said, "The kind that results from people trying to fix their TVs on their own." The more we try to fix our problems by ourselves, the worse our problems get. We Try to Control Our Pain Have you ever thought about how much time and effort you spend running from pain? Trying to avoid it, deny it, escape it, reduce it, or postpone it? Some of us try to avoid pain by eating or not eating. Others try to postpone it by getting drunk, smoking, taking drugs, or abusing prescription medications. Some try to escape through sports, traveling, or jumping in and out of relationships. Others withdraw into a hole and build a protective wall of depression around themselves. Still others become angry, abusive, critical, and judgmental. We'll try almost anything to control our pain. But the real pain comes when we realize, in our quieter moments, that no matter how hard we try, we're not in control. That realization can be very scary. You may remember on Saturday Night Live when Chevy Chase would come on and say, "Hi, I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not." Can you imagine God saying "Hi, I'm God, and you're not"? Agreeing with God that He's God and we're not leads us into our first healing choice: REALIZE I'M NOT GOD. I ADMIT THAT I AM POWERLESS TO CONTROL MY TENDENCY TO DO THE WRONG THING AND THAT MY LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE. The first step is always the hardest, and this first choice is no exception. Until you are willing to admit your need and recognize that you are not God, you will continue to suffer the consequences of your poor choices. As the beatitude says, "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Admitting your need is what being "spiritually poor" is all about.
  3. mrsct

    My Testimony

    We talked online for a while before we both decided to meet in person. I have found myself in several sticky situations while being on dating websites. I'm only talking out of experience to be careful.
  4. mrsct

    My Testimony

    I apologize it took so long to reply. I met my husband online. We met on singlesnet.com. I do recommend that you be careful on the online dating world.
  5. I apologize but I will not be able to post anything this week as I and my husband have been busy apartment hunting. I will be able to post next week.
  6. So after church I asked my hubby what we were doing for lunch. We went to Sonic as usual. Here is the conversation we had: Hubby: What do you want? Me: a 6 foot chili cheese dog and tator tots. Yeah, I must have been tired to make that huge blunder.
  7. Hi. Welcome to Worthy.
  8. mrsct

    My Testimony

    Recently my dad and I were able to connect. It is going to be a long hard road to build a relationship and trust. It will be well worth the hard work ahead of us.
  9. mrsct

    My Testimony

    Hello. My name is Christine and I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I’m in recovery for Co-Dependency. I was born in Long Beach, CA in November of 1974. I lived in Burbank and Riverside till I was about thirteen. My parent’s divorced when I was three years old. This left me feeling quite confused, and often questioned what I had done to cause my parents to divorce. Though I remember hearing multiple times, I had nothing to do with the divorce, I often wanted to call my parents and others around me liars as it was clear to me I had something to do with it. I wasn’t good enough for my parents to love each other and even myself. I am not sure when my dad moved to Texas, but I do remember I was quite young. When I was about thirteen, problems between my mom and I were difficult. We didn’t get along well, and I knew ultimately I was going to end up running away. As soon as those thoughts started creeping in, I then thought it would be best to live with my dad in Texas. I then told my mom I wanted to move to Texas, and really, I didn’t see that she had much of a choice. My dad came, packed me up, and moved me to Texas. I began attending a Seventh-Day Adventist church and ultimately was baptized. As a teen, I was extremely active in the church. I was a Junior Deaconess, in the Pathfinders club, helped in the Community Service department, I thought I kept the Sabbath holy, and much more. Doing all these things, I thought I was saved. When I was about fourteen, my dad married his third wife, Linda. Though I think that Linda tried her best with me, part of me thinks that really, she only wanted her daughter (Barbara) as she was the favorite between the two of us. Home life was difficult for me to handle. There was quite a bit of physical and emotional abuse from my dad on many levels. I was always making D’s and F’s in school no matter how hard I tried. Every time report cards came around I would have the same severe “discipline” from my dad. At the end of the school year, I would have the same grades, and I would go through the same punishment. I remember my dad would make comments to me like “Do you have anything from here to here (pointing from ear to ear)? If so use it!” Referring to not having a brain, and that is why I wasn’t making good grades. That always crushed me, more than the beatings I would get from the belt. Before moving to Texas, I was a liar. For the most part, it was to get attention. After moving to Texas, I didn’t know why I continued, but I later realized it was a way to protect myself. Due to the severe “discipline” I would receive, I thought it would be wise to lie even more. After all, I wouldn’t get in trouble right away. Maybe, I can keep going and my parents wouldn’t know. The lies always caught up with me, and I would get in trouble. I remember a time when I accidentally broke my parents built in hamper. I looked at my sister and asked “What do I do? I can’t lie about this.” She suggested that I tell dad and to do it now. I thought she was right so I started to go outside where he was to tell him. I was scared to death to do this, as I was sure that I would get in trouble. I started to remember his words though. “If you only told the truth in the beginning the punishment wouldn’t be so hard.” That gave me the courage to tell him. He lied to me. The discipline was worse than what I would get if I had lied. As a result of this punishment, it taught me that my dad could not handle the truth. Numbers 32:23 says “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out. Growing up, I didn’t think this applied to me, but I now see how my sins have always found me out then and today. When I was about 16 on Christmas Day, I got a phone call from my mom. She proceeded to tell me that my grandpa was sick with lung cancer and a brain tumor. She also told me that it was my fault and that he was going to die in about six months. Of course, this was another huge blow to me as grandpa and I were close. When he died, I was given the option to go to the funeral or stay home. I thought it was best to stay home, as I would not be able to handle the funeral. When he died, I died too. My best friend was no longer with me, and I couldn’t share with him how I felt. I remember a time, when I forged Linda’s name on my detention slips. I thought, no one would find out as I would be done with the detentions before my dad would pick me up from school. I didn’t count on the fact that my principal and my dad were good friends. He found out, and the Sunday morning that my dad was taking me to work, he didn’t react to what I had done well. I was scared beyond belief. About the age of 17, I was working at McDonalds. There was a time when a co-worker asked me what I would do if he were to rob the place. I thought he was joking. I of course laughed and told him it would not be wise to do so as the punishment was severe. Later that night, we were held up. I remember I was pacing back and forth up front and no one saw me. I also did a little giggle, as I thought it was a joke. At the end of the store being held up, it dawned on me this was no joke. The next day at school I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was extremely jumpy over anything and everything. I didn’t see my co-worker after that. Looking back, I see God’s hand on me, as the robbers could have shot me if they saw me pacing and giggling. Due to the abuse, my sister and I both received at home, it did bring the worst out of both of us growing up. I don’t recall much of the abuse I did to her, but she does recall everything she did to me. I forgave her long time ago, so the things she remembers, I don’t necessarily remember. What I do remember is because of our pain growing up it affected us so badly that we had to cut off ties with each other as we were both toxic to each other when we were young adults. When I was about 18, I met this wonderful man (well I thought he was wonderful). His name is Jeremy. He and I never really married, but were common-law married. We have two wonderful children who are young adults. When Jeremy helped me move out of my parent’s home, I decided it was wise hurt my dad emotionally. I told him that if God was anything like him, I wanted nothing to do with God. At the time I meant it. I decided to withdraw my membership from the church. By doing that, it meant I was going to go to hell as I walked away from God. I didn’t care as the church taught that we would be burned up till there is nothing there, so it didn’t matter to me. While I was pregnant with Natalie (in 1995), I was coming home from the doctor’s appointment, and the car we drove (1978 Ford Fairmont) began breaking down in the mix master from downtown Dallas to I-30 somewhere. During this time, I kept praying please get me home safely God. The car died for the last time on I-30. I remember the car stopping behind a 18-wheeler, and I was screaming. I heard a voice saying “It’s ok. Wind down your window.” So I did. The gentleman said that he knew I was having car problems, and he can take me somewhere to call for help. After he took me to a Goodwill store, he helped me out of his truck. As I turned around to thank him, he and his truck were gone. To this day, I believe that was an angel to help me. Both of my kids were born prematurely, however, Natalie struggled with her life from the time she was an infant to her toddler years. After I was able to take Natalie home from the hospital, she developed the RSV pneumonia. I had to rush her to Children’s hospital. She ended up having a 2-hour cardiac arrest followed by a 5-minute seizure. I remember the nurse coming into the waiting room, waking me up saying that there was a problem with Natalie. I jumped up and darted for the ICU area. She had to stop me, to tell me what was going on with her. After she told me the details, I told her I needed to see her. She told me to wait a few minutes while she went to see if I could go in. They allowed me in, and my baby girl was white as a ghost and the doctors were doing CPR on her. I remember praying and crying. When I finished praying I told the doctor’s not to give up on her. Thank goodness they didn’t. Today she is a bright young woman. Jeremy had been extremely abusive. We were together for seven years of course during this time I thought I could change him. I ultimately packed up the kids and moved to Dallas, where there was a program for battered women with small children. Immediately after mine and Jeremy’s divorce, I became involved with another Mr. Wonderful. His name was David. I met him at a half-way place that also did AA groups. They served some awesome food. Though I was not attending this group, a friend of mine was and she introduced me to him. He was in recovery for drug use and alcohol use. I thought good, I didn’t have to fix anyone. Boy was I wrong. He started using again, and this time I thought I had to fix him. During my last custody battle, I had lost a lot in that week. The kids were ordered to live with Jeremy and I lost my housing due to breaking some huge rules like having a man inside my apartment. I was now on the street with nowhere to go. I decided to prostitute myself, so I could have a motel room. I never saw the money as the guys paid for the night for me. This lasted for two weeks, as my guilt became overwhelming at this time. I never looked back to this time of my life. David and I broke up sometime later. Looking back this was my rock bottom and didn’t realize it at the time. Sometime after David, I met another so-called Mr. Wonderful. This time it was a man in Corpus Christi area. His name was Greg. I moved down to Corpus area to be with Mr. Wonderful. I knew that he smoked pot, cigarettes, and drank beer. I had no problems with it. I mean after all I can fix him right. Wrong! He was smoking pot and drinking at least one 6 pack of beer every night. I remember every day when he came home from work, he would have a 6 pack in his hand. He was never physically abusive, but the emotional abuse was there. I ultimately left Greg, and moved to Corpus Christi (just north of Bishop where we lived). While I was in Corpus, I returned to the Seventh-Day Adventist church, and became active all over again. I really didn’t know why I should return to the church, as my heart was still somewhat cold towards God, but I thought I was obeying. This time, I was the church secretary for two months, then moved back to the metroplex as the kid’s grades were dropping. Sometime after my relationship with Greg, my sister and I reconnected and began rebuilding our relationship. Praise God, He could reconnect us, and allow us to get past our hurts. It took some work for us to rebuild our relationship, but we were able to do so and have built a strong one. We enjoy our time together when we have our “sister time” Before I met Pat, I attended a Seventh-day Adventist church in Fort Worth, and was very active. Here I helped in the Pathfinders, and I was a Church Clerk as well. Again, I thought I was saved because I was re-baptized and I was in the “Only True Church”. A few years later, I met my current husband, Pat. He is truly Mr. Wonderful. He has never done anything to me, nor does he abuse alcohol or drugs. I don’t have to fix him, as he in my eyes is already perfect. Yes, we have our ups and downs, but I love him more and more every day. It wasn’t till after Pat and I became engaged that I started looking things up on my own on the church. Actually, I was encouraged by Pat to do so. (We had some heated discussions about the Seventh-day Adventist church.) After some research, I decided I needed to leave the church again, but this time I went straight into worshipping at a Baptist Church with Pat. I decided after joining Travis Ave Baptist Church I needed to be baptized as I felt that my baptism in the Seventh-day Adventist church was one into a cult church. Thus, I wasn’t saved, and felt the need to do so in obedience to God. Even though I struggle from time to time with the work based mindset, God is working with me and will probably have to remind me from time to time I’m saved through faith, not by works. Ephesians 2:8 reminds me: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Now, I can for certain say I know without a shadow of a doubt where I am going when God calls me Home. I will be in heaven where I belong. Looking back, I don’t see how I actually gave up on God. I just gave up on church at the time as I was let down by people. God had to work hard in my life and is still working. Praise God He has not given up on me and refuses to give up on me! After some time, I started to get paranoid (somewhat) with my health, so my primary care thought I would benefit from an outpatient program through Hughley Mental Health program. My last day there we were talking about Co-Dependency. This is when I realized there was a good possibility I might have it. After doing much study on this topic, I came to realize I do have Co-Dependency. I began researching programs for Co-Dependency. A friend of mine told me about Celebrate Recovery, and I thought they only handled drugs and alcohol. After talking to my friend and looking it up, I contacted Mike. He informed me that Celebrate Recovery is for all forms of hurts, habits, and hang-ups. I started going to Celebrate Recovery here at Travis Avenue Baptist Church, and loved it from the beginning. Shortly after starting Celebrate Recovery, I got a sponsor and began working the twelve steps. This is where the real work began for me. Man was it hard, but well worth it. Working through the steps, have provided me with tools to help me through my hurts, habits, and hang ups. I still have my ups and downs. When I do, I need to remember Jesus Christ’s cross and the meaning of it. His love is so grand because if it only cost Him his life because of me and me only, He would go to the cross to save me. Since completing the step study, I have become more patient with others and sometimes with myself. I still struggle from time to time with patience. When I find myself struggling, I tend to ask for God to reteach me patience. They say be careful of what you ask, you may not like the results. God always seem to place the most difficult people in my life during a time. Sometimes, I wonder if He enjoys watching me pull my hair out. At the end, I tend to have more patience then I thought I had. I now am a sponsor. I have a lot to learn but am taking it one day at a time. I try to mimic the love and support I received from my sponsor when I sponsor others. I will from time to time ask for guidance when I believe I have no clue what I am doing or even if I am doing something right and well. I have yet to hear I am not doing something right which makes me feel good about the choices I am making as a sponsor. I continually do the steps. Especially with the women I work with. I tell them all, please do not think you are the only people doing this. I am doing the steps with them. I even tell them that when it comes to the 4th Step, I am doing them but with my sponsor. When I do the steps myself, I learn about myself more and more. More importantly, I learn more and more how to be the woman of God I strive to be. I also lead the women’s small group and loving it. I have big shoes to fill from the last person who led the group. I am constantly looking for ways to improve and make it enjoyable. The ladies in my group are all wonderful in their own way. I have found myself touched more than I think I touch them. When things go south for me, I don’t always freak out. There are times, when I do. However, looking back, I am by far not the person I was when I first came to the group. Philippians 1:3-6 says I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. He has shown to me that He has begun His work in me and is still working in my life. Though I cannot rebuild my relationships with my abusers including my parents. I have forgiven them and wish them well in life. I recently had decided to write a forgiveness letter to my dad. Though he is not ready to receive it, I read it to my sponsor and feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from me. After much hard work and diligence of searching for the job God wants me at, He provided me with the job I love. It provides with excellent benefits and encourages me to grow in the company. I love Pier 1 Imports! They are indeed my extended family. Thank you for allowing me to share.
  10. Let's look at it this way: Should you be disowned for your sins in your life? Just because God hates sin doesn't mean He hates us. He loves us so much that he sent His Son to die on the cross for you and for your friend. He does not nor did He ever disowned her for the abortion she had. So your question if you are wrong for disowning her because of the abortion.... YES YOU ARE WRONG! Definitely not Christlike.
  11. I crochet. When I was 12 I got tired of watching my grandma crochet so I decided my curiosity was so great, I would ask her to teach me. The hardest part was learning how to hold the hook. My mom told me that I took to it like white on rice. Currently I am crocheting everything for mine and my husband's vow renewal ceremony. I will even be crocheting my gown.
  12. mrsct


    Take cover and stay safe.
  13. 2. Our Desire To Be God Why do we continue making poor choices? Why do we repeat the same mistakes? At the root of our human tendency to do wrong is our desire to be in control. We want to decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong. We want to make our own choices, call our own shots, make our own rules. We don't want anybody telling us what to do. In essence, we want to be God. But this is nothing new. Trying to be God is humankind's oldest problem. In Genesis 3, even Adam and Eve tried to be in control. God put them in Paradise, and they tried to control Paradise. God told them, "You can do anything you want in Paradise except one thing: Don't eat from this one tree." What did they do? You got it; they made a beeline for the forbidden tree - the only thing in Paradise God said was off-limits. Satan said, "If you eat this fruit, you will be like God." And they wanted to be God. That's been our problem from the very start of humanity. today, we still want to be God.
  14. 1. Our Tendency to Do Wrong We will always have the sin nature - this tendency to do the wrong thing. In fact, we will wrestle with it as long as we are on this earth. Even if you have already asked Christ into your life, even after you become a Christian, you still have desires that pull you in the wrong direction. We find in the Bible that Paul understood this, for he struggled with his sin nature just as we do: "I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong... but I can't help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things." Do Paul's words sound vaguely familiar to you? Sure they do. We end up doing what we don't want to do and not doing what we do want to do. For years I thought I could control my drinking. I believed the lie that I could stop whenever I wanted. It really wasn't that bad. My choices were not hurting anybody. I was deep into my denial. As the pain of my sin addiction got worse, I would try to stop on my own power. I was able to stop for a day, a week, or even a few months, but I would always start drinking again. I wanted to do what was right, but on my own I was powerless to change. I WILL CONTINUE TO POST ON THIS TOPIC.
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