mrsct

I apologize I have not been in here for a while. A lot has taken place. My father in law was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away a week later. During this time, we had to move into another apartment complex. I had to then begin working on getting our apartment unpacked and set up the apartment the way I liked it as well as work. I hope by next month, I will be able to get back into the groove of things in here.

3. Our Attempts To Play God. We play God by denying our humanity and by trying to control everything for our own selfish reasons. We attempt to be the center of our own universe. We play God by trying to control our image, other people, our problems, and our pain. We Try to Control Our Image We care so much about what other people think of us. We don't want them to know what we're really like. We play games; we wear masks, we pretend; we fake it. We want people to see certain sides of us while we hide others. We deny our weaknesses, and we deny our feelings. "I'm not angry." "I'm not worried." "I'm not afraid." We don't want people to see the real us. Why are we afraid to tell people who we are! The answer is, "If I tell you who I really am and you don't like me, I'm in trouble - because then I'm all I've got." We Try to Control Other People Parents try to control kids; kids try to control parents. Wives try to control husbands; husbands try to control wives. Coworkers vie for office control. People try to control other people. And along the way we develop a lot of tools to manipulate each other. Everyone has his or her preferred methods: Some use guilt and shame; some use praise and affirmation. Others use anger, fear, or an old favorite - the silent treatment. All in efforts to gain control. We Try to Control Our Problems "I can handle it," we say. "It's not really a problem." "I'm okay, really. I'm fine." Those are the words of somebody trying to play God. When we try to control our problems, we say, I don't need any help, and I certainly don't need counseling or recovery." "I can quite anytime. I'll work it out on my own power." When a TV repairman was asked about the worst kind of damage he'd ever seen to a television set, he said, "The kind that results from people trying to fix their TVs on their own." The more we try to fix our problems by ourselves, the worse our problems get. We Try to Control Our Pain Have you ever thought about how much time and effort you spend running from pain? Trying to avoid it, deny it, escape it, reduce it, or postpone it? Some of us try to avoid pain by eating or not eating. Others try to postpone it by getting drunk, smoking, taking drugs, or abusing prescription medications. Some try to escape through sports, traveling, or jumping in and out of relationships. Others withdraw into a hole and build a protective wall of depression around themselves. Still others become angry, abusive, critical, and judgmental. We'll try almost anything to control our pain. But the real pain comes when we realize, in our quieter moments, that no matter how hard we try, we're not in control. That realization can be very scary. You may remember on Saturday Night Live when Chevy Chase would come on and say, "Hi, I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not." Can you imagine God saying "Hi, I'm God, and you're not"? Agreeing with God that He's God and we're not leads us into our first healing choice: REALIZE I'M NOT GOD. I ADMIT THAT I AM POWERLESS TO CONTROL MY TENDENCY TO DO THE WRONG THING AND THAT MY LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE. The first step is always the hardest, and this first choice is no exception. Until you are willing to admit your need and recognize that you are not God, you will continue to suffer the consequences of your poor choices. As the beatitude says, "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Admitting your need is what being "spiritually poor" is all about.

I apologize but I will not be able to post anything this week as I and my husband have been busy apartment hunting. I will be able to post next week.

Let's look at it this way: Should you be disowned for your sins in your life? Just because God hates sin doesn't mean He hates us. He loves us so much that he sent His Son to die on the cross for you and for your friend. He does not nor did He ever disowned her for the abortion she had. So your question if you are wrong for disowning her because of the abortion.... YES YOU ARE WRONG! Definitely not Christlike.

2. Our Desire To Be God Why do we continue making poor choices? Why do we repeat the same mistakes? At the root of our human tendency to do wrong is our desire to be in control. We want to decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong. We want to make our own choices, call our own shots, make our own rules. We don't want anybody telling us what to do. In essence, we want to be God. But this is nothing new. Trying to be God is humankind's oldest problem. In Genesis 3, even Adam and Eve tried to be in control. God put them in Paradise, and they tried to control Paradise. God told them, "You can do anything you want in Paradise except one thing: Don't eat from this one tree." What did they do? You got it; they made a beeline for the forbidden tree - the only thing in Paradise God said was off-limits. Satan said, "If you eat this fruit, you will be like God." And they wanted to be God. That's been our problem from the very start of humanity. today, we still want to be God.

1. Our Tendency to Do Wrong We will always have the sin nature - this tendency to do the wrong thing. In fact, we will wrestle with it as long as we are on this earth. Even if you have already asked Christ into your life, even after you become a Christian, you still have desires that pull you in the wrong direction. We find in the Bible that Paul understood this, for he struggled with his sin nature just as we do: "I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong... but I can't help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things." Do Paul's words sound vaguely familiar to you? Sure they do. We end up doing what we don't want to do and not doing what we do want to do. For years I thought I could control my drinking. I believed the lie that I could stop whenever I wanted. It really wasn't that bad. My choices were not hurting anybody. I was deep into my denial. As the pain of my sin addiction got worse, I would try to stop on my own power. I was able to stop for a day, a week, or even a few months, but I would always start drinking again. I wanted to do what was right, but on my own I was powerless to change. I WILL CONTINUE TO POST ON THIS TOPIC.

The cause of our problems is our nature! No, not the trees, rocks, and lakes kind of nature, but our human nature - that is, our sin nature. The Bible tells us that this sin nature gets us into all kinds of problems. The Bible tells us that this sin nature gets us into all kinds of problems. We choose to do things that aren't good for us, even when we know better. We respond in hurtful ways when we are hurt. we try to fix problems, and often in our attempts to fix them, we only make them worse. The Bible says it this way: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." This verse lets us know we can't trust our human nature to lead us out of our problems. Left on its own, our sin nature will tend to do wrong, desire to be God, and try to play God. I WILL CONTINUE TO POST JUST PLEASE BE PATIENT.

For a while, I will be posting from Life's Healing Choices before we continue to proceed to the next choice. Choice 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. Part of our human nature is to refuse change until our pain exceeds our fear - fear of change, that is. We simply deny the pain until it gets so bad that we are crushed and finally realize we need some help. Why don't we save ourselves a bit of misery and admit now what we're inevitably going to have to admit later? We are not God, and we desperately need God because our lives are unmanageable without Him. We'll be forced to learn that lesson someday. We may as well admit it now. If you answer yes to any of the questions below, you'll know without a doubt that you are a citizen of the human race. * Do you ever stay up late when you know you need sleep? * Do you ever eat or drink more calories than your body needs? * Do you ever feel you ought to exercise but don't? *Do you ever know the right thing to do but don't do it? * do you ever know something is wrong but do it anyway? * Have you ever known you should be unselfish but were selfish instead? * Have you ever tried to control somebody or something and found them or it uncontrollable? As fellow members of the human race, we all deal with life's hurts, hang-ups, and habits. In the next pages, we'll look at the cause of these hurts, hang-ups, and habits, their consequences, and their care. As we look at the causes and consequences of our pain, our spiritual poverty will become obvious. How can we be happy about being spiritually poor, as the beatitude for this chapter tells us we will be? Admitting the truth that we are spiritually poor - or powerless to control our tendency to do wrong - leads us to this happiness and to the cure we so desperately need.

Although I will post the 12 Steps and Biblical Comparisons, I will not be posting the questions. The reason is because these are to be done with a sponsor. A sponsor is someone you trust who is of the same sex as you. This is to be protect you in every way possible.

Currently I am worried about our finances as my husband has changed jobs. I am uncertain how we are going to pay rent this month as well as all of our bills as we are still on one persons income. Currently I have a mason jar where I posts my prayer requests and my answered prayers. When I place my prayer requests in the jar, I am turning it over to God and allowing Him to provide the answers.

Often times when we worry about something, we are not trusting that God is able to provide for our needs. While we are worrying about an issue, we are preventing Him from providing for our needs. We don't need to go into details, but what are some of the things you are worrying about? List them in the comments. Are you willing to hand over those worried issues to God? How do you think you can hand it over to Him? List those as well in the comments.

When I was sponsoring a group of women, I was trying to help them, but also was a bit of controlling. This caused me to be a bit prideful.

Pride is defined: An inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable feeling of superiority as to one's talents, beauty, wealth, rank, and so forth; disdainful behavior or treatment; insolence or arrogance of demeanor; haughty bearing. We all have pride of some sort. Think about some of the things you are prideful of. What is the few things you have pride about that is being an hindrance?

In our 12 Steps and Biblical Comparison lesson titled "Powerless" We sort of discussed "Only Ifs". We are going to discuss it some more in this weeks lesson. Growing up the abuse I went through, I often heard myself saying things like "Only if I was a better child, my parents would love me." The truth of the matter is no matter what I said or did, it would have never been "good enough" for them. They always found something negative about whatever I had said or done. The abuse I went through would have never stopped. Questions for discussion: 1. What in your past and present have you doing your "Only Ifs"? 2. What are your "Only Ifs"? 3. How are you using it to rationalize what your hurts, habits, and hang-ups?

I will post the questions for discussion in this topic later. We have a lot to discuss before going into the questions.

Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. "For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Romans 7:18 Think About It When we accept the first recovery principle and take that first step out of our denial and into reality, we see there are very few things that we really have control over. Once we admit that by ourselves, we are powerless we can stop living with the following "serenity robbers", we spelled out in the acrostic POWERLESS. Pride Ignorance+power+pride = a deadly mixture! "Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor." Proverbs 29:23 Only if's Our "only ifs" in life keep us trapped in the fantasyland of rationalization! "Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight." Luke 12:2-3, GNT Worry Worrying is a form of not trusting God enough! So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." Matthew 6:34 TLB Escape By living in denial we may have escaped into a world of fantasy and unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. "For light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is even possible for light to turn it shines upon into light also. Ephesians 5:13-14 PH Resentments Resentments act like an emotional cancer if they are allowed to fester and grow. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 Loneliness Loneliness is a choice. In recovery and in Christ, you never have to walk alone. "Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don't forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" Hebrews 13: 1-2 TLB Emptiness You know that empty feeling deep inside. The cold wind of hopelessness blows right through it. Jesus said, "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness." John 10:10 TLB Selfishness We often pray: "Our Father which art in heaven: give me, give me, give me." Whoever clings t his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it. Luke 17:33 TLB Separation Some people talk about finding God - as if He could ever get lost! "For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God's love away... Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us." Romans 8:38-39 TLB Congratulations! In your admission of your powerlessness you have begun the journey of recovery that will allow you to accept the true and only Higher Power's - Jesus Christ's - healing, love, and forgiveness. At this stage in your recovery, you need to stop doing two things: 1. Stop Denying the Pain You are ready to take your first step in recovery when your pain is greater than your fear. "Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom." Psalm 6:2-3 TLB 2. Stop Playing God You are unable to do for yourself what you need God to do for you. You are either going to serve God or yourself. You can't serve both. "You cannot be a slave of two masters; you will hate one and love the other; you will be loyal to one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24 GNT In addition to stopping certain behaviors, you need to start doing two things: 1. Start Admitting Your Powerlessness As you work the first principle, you will see that by yourself you do not have the power to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits. "Jesus... said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 2. Start Admitting That Your Life Has Become Unmanageable You can finally start admitting that some or all areas of your life are out of control to change. "Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up" Psalm 40:12

Let's introduce ourselves here.... Hello. My name is mrsct (Christine). I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I am in recovery for co-dependency.

Let's look at Hebrews 12:1 (TLB): Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us. There are two things I would like to point out in this verse. First, God has a particular race, a unique plan, for each of us. A plan for good, not a life full of dependencies, addictions, and obsessions. The second thing is that we need to be willing to get rid of all the unnecessary baggage, the past failures, in our lives that keep us stuck. Again, it says "Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up." For many of us, our past hurts, hang-ups, and habits hold us back, trip us up! Many of us are stuck in bitterness over what someone has done to us. We continue to hold on to the hurt and we refuse to forgive the ones who had hurt us. This group is set up for us to discuss our hurts, habits, and hang ups safely. No judgement will be passed. As we work this program, you will see changes that God will make in your life. We are only tools to assist you with the changes you will see. These changes are going to be for the better. Sometimes, they will be painful in the beginning, but will be well worth it in the long run. REMEMBER YOU CAN BE IN RECOVERY FROM YOUR HURTS HABITS AND HANG-UPS WITH GODS HELP.

In my early 20's I was involved with an atheist. In fact we were engaged for a while. It isn't that he didn't believe in nothing. He had beliefs in other things. He just didn't believe in God. To him, he couldn't understand that there was a living God that truly loves him.

Denial has been defined as "a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality" and "a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth." As kids we all learned various coping skills. They came in handy when we didn't get the attention we wanted from our parents and others or to block our pain and fears. For a time these coping systems worked. But as the years progressed they confused and clouded our view of the truth of our lives. As we grew, our perception of ourselves and our expectations of all those around us also grew. But because we retained our childish methods of coping, our perceptions of reality became increasingly more unrealistic and distorted. Our coping skills grew into denial, and most of our relationships ended up broken or less fulfilling than they could have been. Did you ever deny that your parents had problems? Did you ever deny that you had problems? The truth is, we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. But, for some of us, that denial turned to shame and guilt. Denial is the "pink elephant" sitting in the middle of the living room. No one in the family talks about it or acknowledges it in any way. Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you? * "Can't we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse." * "Billy, if we don't talk about it, it will go away." * "Honey, let's pretend that it didn't really happen." * "If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I'm afraid she will leave me." * "He really doesn't drink that much." * "It really doesn't hurt when he does that; I'm fine!" * "Paul drinks more than I do." * "Joan has been married three times; I've only been married twice." * I eat because you make me so mad!" * "If you didn't nag me all the time, I wouldn't...." * "Look honey, I have a tough job; I work hard. I need a few drinks to relax. It doesn't mean that I have a problem." Folks, that's DENIAL.

Write About It 1. What areas of your life do you have power (control) over? Be specific. 2. What areas of your life are out of control, unmanageable? Be specific. 3. How do you think taking this first step will help you? 4. As a child, what coping skills did you use to get attention or to protect yourself? 5. In your family of origin, what was the family secret that everyone was trying to protect? 6. How do you handle pain and disappointment? 7. How can you begin to address your denial? 8. In what areas of your life are you now beginning to face reality and break the effects of denial? 9 Are you starting to develop a support team? List the first name of your support team.

Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor. Matthew 5:3 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. Think About It Before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God tells us< You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" (Jeremiah 6:14 TLB) The acrostic for Denial spells out what can happen if we do not face our denial. Disables our feelings By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits - for we are slaves of anything that has conquered us. 2 Peter 2:19, GNT Energy lost A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading the future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can occur. He frees the prisoners..., he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads (Psalm 146:7-8 TLB) Negates growth We are as sick as our secrets. We cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth. They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains. (Pslam 107:13-14 TLB) Isolates us from God God's light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark. God is lifth; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7) Alienates us from our relationships Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no on knows - but they do? What is the answer? Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves. (Ephesians 4:25 TLB) Lengthens the pain We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt. God's promise: I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds." Jeremiah 30:17 TLB Accept the first principle of recovery. Step out of your denial! Step into your Higher Power's - Jesus Christ's - unconditional love and grace! In the comments are questions to answer. Please post the comments and or questions you have regarding the lesson itself.

Johannatan, I am so sorry it took a while to respond. I have not been online much after work as I am doing a lot of things such as planning a vow renewal ceremony. This includes the crocheting I have to do. I as well deal with a chemical imbalance and understand your struggles. I hope to be able to post more in the future. I hope you had a great week.

I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING VERY TIMELY ON THINGS. CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE IN CERTAIN AREAS OF MINE AND MY HUSBANDS LIFE AND PLANNING A WEDDING. WELL MORE LIKE A VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY. WORK AND THAT ALONE IS TAKING A LOT OF MY TIME. My partnership with Pastor Rick After Celebrate Recovery had been going for a year, Pastor Rick Warren, my senior pastor saw how Celebrate Recovery was helping people in our church family find God's healing from their hurts, hang-ups, and habits. He decided to take the entire church family through a sermon serious called the "Road to Recovery." I want to thank Pastor Rick for allowing me to use his "Road to Recovery" serious as the foundation of this book. Pastor Rick's R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y acrostic identifies 8 principles. As you read the 8 principles and the corresponding beatitudes, you'll begin to understand the choices before you.

I do apologize, I couldn't finish this tonight. I will post the rest of it tomorrow in another post.