HOWEVER I'VE TRIED FIXING ME FOR YRS NOTHING OR NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME RISE ABOVE GOING BACK TO A HORRIBLE LIFE THAT I YEARN FOR SO BAD, YET CONTINUE TO SLIP BACK IN TO SATANS SNEAR! I'M SICK OF IT. HE'S A LIAR AND HAS HURT ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN WHICH HAS LEAD TO THE MOST PRECIOUS THINGS TO ME IN THE WORLD GETTING HURT! I NOW FACE COURT THIS FRIDAY! THEY ARE WANTING TO TERMINATE MY RIGHTS. WHICH TO ME IS A VERY DISTRUCTIVE OUTCOME. I'VE GONE DOWN A WRONG PATH THEN WAS STUCK IN GUILT AFTER LETTING MY PRECIOUS DOWN, TRIED TO DO IT ALONE ,TO ALONEY SLIP DOWN AGAIN LATER.DUE TO ONLY GETTING TO SEE HIM SOMETIMES I GUESS DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND NOW HOW IVE GOTTEN THIS FAR INTO THIS DISTRUCTIVE PATTERN. I KNOW I WAS MEANT FOR MUCH MORE. (MORE) THAN THAT I KNOW THAT (THEY) (MY PRECIOUS) DESERVE MUCH MORE. AND THEY DERSERVE IT FROM ME AND THEIR FATHERS. I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND HAVE ATTEMPPTED OR MADE ATTEMPTS TO DO. SOME HOW WHICH COMING FROM A MOTHER (IF YOU CAN CALL ME THAT) DONT KNOW HOW IT COULD HAVE EVEN BEEN A THOUGHT TO DO ANYTHING BUT BE INRICHED IN (MY PRECIOUS)'S LIFE COME TO PASS EVEN IF HE WASN'T AT A HOME WITH HIM. HOWEVER I WAS STILL AND AM STILL BROKEN. (BUT WILLING) TO DO THE ONLY RIGHT THING WHICH IS TO REACH OUT TRY TO WIPE MY SELF OFF AND PRAY I CAN BE WHAT GOD CALLED ME TO BE OFCOURSE FOR ME BUT TO (MY PRECIOUS) AND GOD! (MY LORD) OUR LORD! I NEVER WANT TO FALL SHORT ANY DAY! MY INNER MOST WANT OUTTA LIFE IS TO BE WHO IM SUPPOSED TO OR MEANT TO BE FOR THEM TO REACH FOR CHRIST. NOT ONLY REACH HIM BUT HELP OTHERS ON THEIR PATH. ITS THEIR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE WITH ME AND THEIR DADS, AND YES IVE FALLEN AND SCARED TO DEATH IF IVE FALLEN SO MANY TIMES WHAT MAY BE DIFFERENT NOW. BUT I ALSO KNOW IF I CANT OR DONT GET TO BE MOMMY. I DONT KNOW IF I WILL MAKE ANOTHER DAY. THEY WILL MAKE IT IM SURE BUT ITS JUST NOT FAIR TO THEM. THEY ALREADY KNOW ME AS MOMMY AND WILL BE JUST AS BROKEN AS I.
I GUESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM ASKING OUT OF THE SITE IN GENERAL I JUST KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRIST WHICH AT TIMES WAS SO ENCOMPASSING AND AND FULLFILLING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER THAN US THAT HAS ALL POWER AND IS A GOD OF COMPLETION WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE AND STAY THERE SO IM ASKING FOR IDK MAYBE LADIES THAT KNOW AND SERVE THAT GOD TO PRAY MAYBE AND TEXT ME MAYBE AT A FURTHER MESSAGE THAT HAS INFO. AND GUIDE ME TO HEALING.
