Thewhitedove

No I'm not. Our church dissolved after covid. It was the only doctrinally sound English speaking church where I live and it is no more. I'm was in a Bible study but can't go to it any more. I'm slipping more and more into apathy. I got saved few years after I got married. My husband wanted to bring me to see a psychiatrist as he thought I'd lost my mind!

Thank you. I feel like the enemy has been whispering a lot of lies in my ear and I have been listening to these and getting led astray by worldly influences from feminists on a parenting forum I'm on. I've been repenting of all of this. You are so right about prayer. I've been praying this morning. I don't know who to DM on here. Any ladies who would be happy to chat in private about wifely matters?

You're right. Totally right and no, he doesn't know. I feel like I'm so ill equipped to a) be a Christian wife and b)the wife of an unbeliever that I don't know where to turn. You're right though. I've a lot to think about.

I said to him 'I think your partying days are finished. You are in your 40s with 3 children who need you to be alive. I don't need to tell you how vulnerable you were last night'. He agreed and we left it at that.

My husband is now awake and rather than being brought to his knees, thinks that what happened last night is funny. May God have mercy on him, and me, because I'm so annoyed that I can hardly look at him.

LadyPear I'm sorry that your daughter is facing similar. Thankfully my husband has cut his drinking down to special occasions but he used to be like your son in law. So did I, actually. Thank you for your advice. I'll refrain from speaking in anger and just pray for him. I'm praying that this will bring him to his knees before God.

My husband is a non believer, as you know. Last night he joined some friends for a 'boys night' to a city about a 3 hour train journey from where we live. A huge European capital city that isn't very safe, where they just went drinking. My husband told me he would be bunking in with his friends in a hotel. It's the morning where I am, and my husband came home earlier than expected, no bag, looking dishevelled. Turns out he had booked his own apartment and couldn't get in. I'm assuming he was too drunk and tried getting into the wrong apartment but basically he was homeless last night. He went to a City Centre Mc Donalds where he slept and waited for the train station to open. I am obviously relieved he is OK. I prayed for him last night, and God protected him. However, anything could have happened to him. We have 3 young kids and my husband is in his 40s; not a silly teenager. All his belongings are still in the apartment, including a very expensive designer bag I bought him for his 40th birthday. The bag doesn't matter obviously but I'm just annoyed that he seems to have such an immature approach to all of the blessings in his life. From a selfish point of view, it wasn't much fun for me stuck on my own with 3 young kids just for him to get so drunk that he could have been killed. He is sleeping now. He says he is a bit traumatised as the city centre was so rough. It really is a place that you would not want to be stuck in the early hours of the morning: think serious gangs. I don't know how to handle this without seeming like his mother. I'm sorry, I think it was completely idiotic that he ended up in that position.

Thank you everyone. You are all so faithful. I really needed to step away from this forum and come back to reread all of these messages. I feel so weary at times, like there is a blockage inside of me, and am longing for the rest. Thanks for the refreshment. You are all so good and never let me down when I need support.

Wow. I related to so much of this. I go through these exact acts of mental flagellation, all the time. It feels like I'm in constant debt, always in the red, never having spiritual credit. I'm always deficient. I guess that's the whole point though. What you said really resonated with me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. It has helped a lot.

I've gradually stopped reading scripture. I live abroad and the only English speaking church with sound doctrine dissolved after Covid. I feel spiritually empty. I have in the past searched for God from the bottom of my heart and not got much back. This has happened so many times. My husband is a non believer, none of my family is saved, most of my friends are non believers...its lonely, so, so lonely. I'm a terrible evangelist and every time I do manage to share the Gospel, it goes right over the other person's head. I am the minority in a world of woke, left wing, tolerant people and everything seems like psychological warfare as I try to navigate my way. In the past I have experienced extreme spiritual burnout several times and am now at a point where I feel very little. The only positive thing is that I can still pray. I am struggling with scripture, can't face listening to sermons or worship music. I am still able to talk to God but can't hear Him. I want Him in my life but am just so, so tired of the sense of emptiness I get in response to all of my trying. I feel my faith and spirit slowly dying. None of it makes any sense anymore. Its just a hard, tough slog. Our pastor once said if you can't feel close to God it's because you haven't tried hard enough, it's 'on you'. What if you have searched and searched in the past and felt like you have got nowhere? I feel like my entire faith walk has all been a figment of my imagination. My atheist husband never had any spiritual conflict, happily accepts all kinds of issues, and generally has an easier internal life than me. I'm supposed to be a light in the world and honestly feel that since I became a Christian, the only difference is that I feel like I am in constant bondage. I have asked God to reveal Himself to me l, the true God who sets the captives free, and I get nothing. Just anxiety, fear, worry, abandonment, and sometimes a sense of rejection. Sometimes it feels like a sick joke, like a riddle that you spend so long working out and by the time you think you have an answer, the riddle has changed. Sometimes it feels like mental abuse. If someone in real life led me on in the way I feel God has done, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. I feel like I'm constantly digging so deep while also putting on a front of the perfect Christian. I tell people how Christ has changed my life and how I've so much joy and peace now, but it's a lie!!! I don't drink since I became a Christian and this has solved most of my problems, but not drinking isn't exclusive to Christians. I hardly read the Bible to my kids anymore and don't have the strength to argue with husband when he puts Harry Potter on for them. I'm so tired.

Help. I really do need it. In struggling with a food addiction and I feel completely powerless against it. I always loved food as a child and as a teen I was a little overweight. This crept up until my 20s when I finally went on a low calorie diet and lost 40lbs. I think I had a borderline eating disorder as I existed on coffee and cigarettes. 8 don't smoke anymore. I kept the weight off for 10 years and had 2 kids. I lost the baby weight each time by the baby's 1st birthday. Last February I had baby number 3. I didn't gain a lot, about 26lbs. I have about 14 left to go but I am a complete slave to food, especially sugar. I'm breastfeeding and my baby sleeps terribly at night. I am so sleep deprived that I gorge on sweets and can't stop. I feel so disgusted with myself and feel like this is spiritual! I just feel so weak about this. I don't know how to give this to God. I can't do it in my own power. Please help me to do this in God. I can't help myself. I feel out of control. I'm not big, but it's my mental state and the compulsiveness that I struggle with.

Me too, that's my main issue with it. It's gruesome.

This is actually a brilliant point.

No. There is absolutely nothing about Halloween that can be redeemed. For me it is a period of spiritual darkness and depravity. If my husband wasn't a nonbeliever who thought it was just a bit of fun, my kids would have zero to do with it. Zero. As it stands, I have had to compomise. I told my husband if he wants the kids to celebrate it, I will not partake. My children had to dress up for school last week and my son went as a soccer player and my daughter went as a princess, and even that felt heavy for me to do. No Christian should partake of anything to do with Halloween. On the contrary, we should spend this time in deeper prayer and fasting, praying against the principalities. Halloween is the tine of year when Satanic Ritual Abuse is at its highest. How anyone can have a light-hearted attitude towards this period knowing the evil that will be done to innocent people, especially children, is beyond me. Halloween should be spent in solemn prayer against the forces of wickedness. No Christian should be dining at the table of demons.

Not of this World, no we leave far from family. Im feeling more rested today though.

Thanks so much Marylin. You are completely right. I have repented over this many, many times but its a stronghold. I've been talking to a Christian friend about these feelings and I know that this resentment is very wrong. I am constantly praying for husband's salvation and really feel that the enemy put these thoughts into my head to derail my concern about my husband's salvation. I need to work harder to fight the attacks and bring my husband and our marriage to Christ every time I feel like this. He is such a good husband compared to most that I know. Even my Dad is amazed at how present he is with our children. God is revealing a lot to me. About my own insecurities, and how my mother constantly criticised my father to me all the time. He could do no right in her eyes, and it was clear she had no respect for him. In trying to undo that messaging that husbands are useless and don't care. Thanks for letting me vent here, everyone. God has blessed me with a really great husband and I keep falling into this trap of being silently angry with him for everything. I find fault with everything (inwardly) and can't seem to stop. I just have an irrational fear of being abandoned and some part of me is always on the lookout for anything to confirm these fears. I'm bringing it all to God, and He is working on me. The advice here has been great for helping me to see how much I need to keep repenting.

I'm sorry your son is law isn't helpful! That's terrible! And thanks for the advice.

Also, I want to add that I would happily take on more if I felt what I did was valued. I know it matters what God thinks more than my husband but its so demotivating to feel like another burden. What often also burns my husband out is also his late night drinking sessions, concerts, soccer matches, quick trips to the bar with his friends after work etc. I'm definitely not innocent though: I just cannot muster the energy to keep my home to as high a standard as he would wish.

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate these replies! Yes I am on maternity leave so am off work until my baby is a bit older. Baby breastfeeds quite a lot and is crawling now so it's difficult to get much done. My husband actually feels like he is burning out from how much housework he does. His main jobs are putting clothes in the washing machine, bringing trash to the recycling centre in the basement and doing the qeekly grocery shop. He basically told me off for not pulling my weight. He gets up in the morning and goes to work. I get the older kids ready for school and bring them to the schoolbus stop. By the time my husband comes home, the place is generally tidy and clean. There are piles of clean laundry to be sorted, kitchen and living room are tidy and school uniforms all sorted and ironed for the next day. Its a lived-in home, a bit cluttered but fine. When the older kids come home, I do their homework, reading, sort whatever materials they need for piano lessons, ballet (in school). I do all the liaising with school, manage doctors appointments etc etc etc. Then I'm also looking after the baby, feeding her (real food and breast), playing with her, sorting out nap schedules. I am up with her many times a night, sometimes once every hour. I start my day exhausted and muddle through. If I start trying to do laundry, the baby wakes up from her nap. She had started crawling and I can't turn my back on her for a second. Sometimes I put her in her pushchair in front of the TV to get things done, or give her something to eat in her highchair while I clean the kitchen but I can't keep strapping her in so I can get on with housework. I feel like I'm trying my best as someone who gets very poor quality sleep. When my husband comes home he plays with the baby while I make delicious (if I say so myself!), homecooked, healthy food from scratch. He cleans most of the kitchen but never does the floors or cleans the cooker surface etc. My husband has been complaining that he does too much and I need to do more. I told him that I don't feel valued at all and that if I went away, nobody would miss me or even notice. His response was 'oh right'. Today he told me that he doesn't want to spend all weekend catching up in housework and that I need to do more laundry, and take the trash out myself from now on. I asked him again if he thinks I don't contribute much to the family. His answer was quite lukewarm, certainly not the response of someone who highly values their wife and really wants her to know it. I told him that i am doing my best and that I started every day with a drained battery. So, when I tried to communicate, his response was so underwhelming it was a little heartbreaking. For Father's Day, I made such a fuss of him and told him how much we appreciate everything he does for us. He immediately snapped back 'well someone has to being the trash down'. I know I need to handle this biblically and that the enemy is trying to get into our marriage. I am more than happy to take a long hard look at myself, and I am inviting you all to see where I can start. I am lazy, in that I have a naturally very slow pace and always find the most inefficient way to do things. I get very overwhelmed and seem to have sensory issues when I'm trying to get something done. Husband is definitely more hands on than a lot of men I know, my own father included. I think I have some very deep insecurities and God is showing me that these need to be dealt with. Thanks if you read all this!

I have prayed that if He wants me to be a martyr, He will prepare me and that the Holy Spirit will strengthen me. I don't think I could ever do it in my own strength. I'm a total coward and have no inner strength of my own. I will only be able to die for Christ through Christ. To willingly die for Christ is an act of grace from God, I think.

Back story: I got saved 3 years ago, husband still non believer. Have 2 young kids and a baby. Up until I went on maternity leave at the start of the year, I worked full time in the same profession as husband. We have always had an issue with rest, in that my husband needs a huge amount of rest. I'm OK at getting up early but he isn't. Generally I can cope with lack of sleep but over time it gets to me and will suddenly hit me like a truck. When I was working I told my husband that we both needed to take turns getting up with kids at the weekend. I didn't care which, but I needed one weekend day to stay in bed for an extra hour. We used to be good at communicating but since I got saved I mistakingly believed that I should stop expressing my feelings about anything and basically let everything slide and never complain about anything. I now find it difficult to bring anything up and he is resistant and defensive in a way he wasn't before. I was also raised to never express any feelings of dissatisfaction. For context, he works hard and definitely does his fair share with the older kids and housework. However, nights are all on me, which is OK. I'm breastfeeding and the baby wakes many, many, many times during the night. My husband sleeps in another room so the baby doesn't disturb him, which I think is only fair as he has to do a full day in work. We get up at the same time every morning to get the kids ready for school. He has a full, undisturbed nights sleep every single night and is still always exhausted! He has several hobbies and a healthy social life too. No matter how much I try to allow him opportunities to rest/unwind he is always moaning about being tired! He went out on Friday night so I got up with the kids on Saturday morning. Then he wouldn't get up on Sunday morning either. I go around and around in my head whether I'm being silly, am overreacting, being unfair, ungracious, ungodly, but at the same time get so filled up ith resentment. Yesterday I wrote on the calendar that next Sunday I will not be getting up, which is so passive aggressive. I've not slept a full night in 9 months and sometimes the cracks start to show. How can I approach this like a good wife? I'm not asking for him to get up with the baby at night but that I just have one hour a week in bed to catch up on a little sleep. He does give me breaks at the weekend but it's ONLY after he has factored his rest in first. Help me fellow Christians. I feel so worldly and resentful. This sounds so petty but I feel like the enemy is trying to use this to get into my marriage and its a constant source of resentment.

A third possibility

Either you have a mental illness or they are demons. There are no other explanations. Rebuke them in Jesus' name. They are going to lead you down a dark path, so ask Jesus to reveal to you who they really are and to block them from coming back. Don't fall for it.

You need to look up Doreen Virtue. She was at one point, the top selling new age author in the world. She wrote books about angels and designed divination cards to help people communicate with the. She gave talks to huge crowds. She was a millionaire living in a ranch in Hawaii. Then She got saved. She realised those angels who She had been communicating with since childhood were demons. She lost everything. Her publisher fired her. She stopped endorsing her old products. She lost her home in Hawaii. She now has a ministry warning people about communicating with angels. If an angel is speaking to you, its a demon. Lorna Byrne is communicating with demons too. You know its a demon when they don't tell you to repent of your sins and put your faith in Jesus Christ as the only way to get to heaven. Rebuke them in the name of Christ!

Ask them to reveal who they really are in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Ask them what they think of Jesus.