Wynona

Thank you, everyone. This issue has been resolved. The compromise is that I wear stuff differently when just around him than when I'm in public. Im glad that I expressed that I was uncomfortable dressing certain ways in public. It was a tough argument at first but we got through it. Thanks again.

Everyone, thank you for your honest opinions. Ill give an update. Today, I sort of caved to pressure and bought a couple outfits to please my husband. Or more like we went shopping together and he sort of steered toward what he liked. I vetoed a couple things untill we settled on two outfits with fitted jeans. One pair is ripped. I even bought a crop top. I got two pairs of boots I liked as well. Maybe I shouldve held my ground. I was fine with what I was wearing before. But I just wanted him to be happy. I used to balk at the idea of changing aspects of yourself for a man. But now Im that woman. Sometimes the pressure is just overwhelming. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Ive gone through many changes for him. I wanted to be someone better after what he's put up from me. Sometimes I feel like Im losing myself in the marriage. But I also don't know what is normal in a relationship. Don't all long term relationships have some level of aggravation to them?

My husband and I went to an Apostolic Church. I spoke in tongues and was baptized there. Was married there as well. We don't have an official denomination now but the teachings still influence us to a certain degree.

I was influenced by Apostolic Pentecostals before my husband and I left. My convictions led me to stop wearing pants and wearing skirts and dresses. (I don't think women wearing pants is unbiblical but I find it easier to be modest wearing skirts and dresses). My husband told me I dress too frumpy and while I wasn't at the worst level, he wanted me to wear things like jeans, show a little cleavage, and wear denim fitted shorts again. I am morally conflicted about the denim shorts and cleavage. I think they're immodest. I define modesty as an intention of my heart when I put on clothes that Im wearing what's appropriate and Godly. My question is, should I lower my modesty standards to please my husband? Am I wrong to question his desire to "show my body off"? I told him I could dress better and not always shop at thrift stores but would need some time to think about dropping certain standards.

If you'd like someone to talk to, I'm here. Send me a message, if you'd like.

Hi Figure of Eighty I was in a similar boat two years ago. I had ten years as a Christian but no fruit. I was even depressed as well. It wasn't until I seriously read the Bible for myself and stopped depending on the "experts", that I turned around. People have a lot of opinions on how to draw near to God. Go with God's Word. We weren't meant to be in bondage to sin. Jesus told the woman at the well, Go and sin no more. The book of James says we have not resisted to the point of shedding blood (Like Jesus did). There is no magical faith formula that will make you feel closer to God. Instead, being determined to seek Him through His Word and having the attitude of getting rid of all known sin in your life, were keys to me breaking through and getting the spiritual fruit of Galations 5. There is no fruit without crucifying the flesh, you can read about that also in Galatians. There's no silver bullet for getting rid of sin in your life. You must bring your thoughts into subjection. If you can control your thoughts, you can avoid lust, coveting, and worry, to begin with. The trap I fell into was thinking son was unavoidable and had to be repented of every moment but you could still be expected to be in that' sin tomorrow. But I believe the Bible supports that repentance is actually a full turnaround from sin altogether. Die to sin and live unto righteousness. I'm here to say, through faith in Christ and seeking the Lord, it's more than possible. And you have the Holy Spirit, so you can glean understanding from the Word of God yourself. It doesn't require you to have a seminary degree. Always go with the Bible even if it contradicts what everyone else thinks. You have what it takes to be close to God. He desires to dwell with You in righteousness. Take your sin out of the way. Jesus gives us the victory. We don't have to be slaves to sin anymore. That is where the fruit comes from.