Kili

I asked God to help me with my bone disease and he didnt help me but allowed things to desperately deteriorate. Now I am on the verge of asking for assisted suicide because I Cannot stand the pain anymore. It was when I trusted and hoped for help the most and prayed, when I had Turned toward the study of Christianity, that I got punished the most mercilessly. At this point I lay in Bed with a bone disease and Tinnitus, half crippled at 30 years old, mistreated and misguidrd, punished for my trust and faith, crying out in anguish most of the day. It was at this time that I was at my most unlucky andvthat I made the worst possibly deadly decisions. And yet I keep hoping there may be a God. It is almost pure despair. Because I saw He didnt help me. But dying with a sense of nihilism would be too much for me. And so I desperately CLing to hope. Any words of encouragement or biblical guidance or explanation would be welcome

Thank you!

Thank you! Nice!

Thank you, really nice quotation!

Thank you for sharing your change of heart and the two verses. They really are comforting!

And what do you love about them?

I am afraid of my OCD intrusive thoughts. They stem from a condition that has terrible images and thoughts pop up in your head. They're not volitional. But Buddhist tradition emphasizes that your thoughts matter with regard to reincarnation. So I am terrified by them. What would Christians say how best to deal with these intrusive thoughts?

I was hit by the deterioration of a terrible bone disease that was made worse by ingesting certain foods and medication. This happened after I'd already gone through many terrible trials in my life. I had turned toward studying Christianity and thought that maybe there was some guidance from a certain place. And then my health situation both mentally and physically collapsed so brutally. This time it felt like it shattered my trust in a God. Because it felt so arbitrary and cold and mechanical. I had just turned toward Christianity when this happened. I also cried and shouted that Jesus may help me but I felt no response. How do you maintain your trust given these seemingly horrible arbitrary sequences of events happen to some of us? It just seemed to me that a loving God would have helped me up and guided me in that situation but instead there was just blind cold forces of physics. How could I regain some trust and faith ; how do you succeed at that?