FieryFury

It’s hard for me to describe as people often times tell me that this isn’t how God works. I have gone through many different phases after I got saved, none were easy but, yes, I always had some type of a feeling 24/7 for 17 years. 2015 was the first year I had a 1 week test where the ‘feeling’ I had left and what began as I called them a series of changes within me and I felt each distinctly. At the end of that week, I was left with another feeling, which was a very strong ‘lift’ type of a feeling. Now, I had that for 3 yrs. In 2018, even with that feeling, I drifted away for 3 months in which God took that lift away and I had another 1 week test and he gave me a lighter lift in return. I had 1 other test and at the end of that, I had 0 feelings to go by and struggled immensely to stay faithful bc I didn’t understand how to stay faithful w/o feeling anything. I drifted away quite a bit. Fast forward 6 months, and I felt God starting another test. And within these tests, he ‘uses’ my feelings as it’s something I’ve gotten accustomed to over the years. Every night as I get in bed, God fills me with peace though so to me, that’s God telling me he has his hand on this situation even though I still feel extremely lost and confused through it. For 3 yrs I’ve prayed for understanding and for me to grasp the concept and to learn how to stay faithful w/o feeling anything but I can tell you, I’m not there yet. Over the last almost 2 yrs, God has really been stretching my faith and it’s been excruciating difficult. I’ve often felt discouraged, depressed, wanting to run away bc nothing is making sense, but, I strive and continue to push forward. The last 2 weeks have been the hardest. Back when I was in college, I went to a Christian college, I had spoken to this professor and this was 1 year after I got saved, I had been feeling these changes within me at that time too while also feeling something else. Anyways, I asked her for prayer explaining to her what was going on. She had told me that I’m very in tune with the Holy Spirit & although all Christians go thru changes, they usually can’t feel them but I can & 1 day God will reveal the reason to me. Also, she said that as I mature in Christ, I will receive even harder tests then what I was experiencing then and those tests will really test my strength and faith (it sure is). We all need to trust God. Except for myself and I’ve brought this before God multiple times stating I struggle with trusting him bc for nearly 20 yrs, my relationship with him was emotionally based, nothing else. And it took me years to start to get into the Bible. It’s still hard for me to do that. Tonight I’ve been on edge & haven’t slept at all. Last night as I was walking my dog, I prayed for about 35 min. I laid all my thoughts/struggles out, asking again for understanding and assurance and to make it easier. After getting home, I realized just the opposite happened. I don’t understand how to separate the feelings from the truth since the feelings is 1 of the tools God has continued to use to stretch and/or strengthen my faith. But, tonight as I lay in bed, I just am feeling lost even though I feel at peace. I’m afraid of when this test stops. Will I be able to stay faithful this time around w/o having any feelings to back it up and my current answer is I don’t know. So what has the last 1 yr 10 months signified? It signified that God is working in me and stretching me greatly even though it has been difficult

I’ve been thru a number of different spiritual tests over the years, but, the 1 I’m going thru now tops them all. I recently spoke with a pastor at my church, snd he shared a phrase with me, ‘I plead the blood of Jesus over my life’. I told him that it was very difficult to say those words and he stated that the devil doesn’t want me to say them. I’m really having a hard time with this spiritual test. It’s going on almost 2 yrs now. I don’t feel like I’m going to succeed bc there’s so much that I don’t understand. Including faithfulness. How do you push your own wants/desires away and stay faithful? Remember.. this is all brand news to me as prior to 2018, I had some type of a feeling 24/7 and that was what I had that helped me stay faithful. I guess part of me doesn’t trust God bc it’s so hard trying to decipher what’s going on. And I don’t trust myself either. I haven’t watched any tv/movies or played video games in 3 yrs due to spiritual issues. idk what I’m asking really but been extremely depressed over the last week looking for someone to talk to and encouragement.

I’ve been a Christian for 20 years but I’ve had a very unusual journey. I’ve been going thru a spiritual test for almost the last 2 yrs. For me, I’m mainly used to God speaking to me a couple different ways for 17 yrs, and now for the last 3, I feel he’s gone silent. He used to speak to me thru both audible and an inaudible voice, through peace and confirmations. Now, I’m struggling everyday to figure out what it is he’s trying to show and/or tell me. I know he’s trying to get me to a spot of a new level in faith and that this test I’m going thru is trying to get me to that spot but it’s so hard. How can I zone into God’s voice? I try to do devotions but they don’t always help. I do receive peace which does help.

I’ve been trying to do devotionals more often but I still find it difficult and I’m still going thru this spiritual test or growing pains or God’s just refining me. Did you ever feel like you just can’t stay faithful though? How do you fight against the fleshly desires or how do you continue on the right path when your mind/body wants to do things your way and not God’s way?

I do my best to do devotions but it’s extremely difficult. I’ve been dealing with a lot of internal strife and can often feel the Holy Spirit working. When I read though, not only is it difficult to read, I often feel I don’t get much from it.

Hi, I have spoken to several people. 1 of my pastors believes me. Not 11 years. Only 1 1/2 yrs. I’ve already experienced 6 other tests similar to this 1 since 2014. This is the 7th test but it’s the longest one. This test started on Nov 1, 2019. The longest test prior to this one was in March of 2019 and it lasted 3 weeks. I invite you to read my testimony which I posted yesterday on the intro group. It’s not a complete testimony but part of it. Yesterday I found a great website called Spiritual Growing Pains and it explains much of what I’ve been experiencing. I’ll see if I can post the link. I found several different websites talking about this. I just haven’t found anyone that has experienced what I’ve been experiencing. Believe me, often times people look at me like I’m nuts. But I know what I’ve experienced over the last 20 years. check out this link: https://www.ptm.org/spiritual-growing-pains-brad-jersak

Hi Peter, Who else would be answering my prayers? I’ll be honest. I haven’t memorized any Scripture and I’m not sure I have seen any scripture yet that verifies what I’m experiencing Last summer as I was walking my dog, I started praying and asked God if he wanted me to start reading the Bible and if so, where should I start? I heard a whisper of Jeremiah so I made a stop in the woods and started reading Jeremiah. I’ve more recently started doing devotions at night and although I can’t think of any verses that go along with what I’m experiencing or ‘hearing’, sometimes the devotionals themselves are speaking to me and what I’m going through. Since I’m not sure how to post a picture onto here, I’ll just repeat a quote of something I read. “God can lead a believer one-way using one using one Method of guidance And then to lead and another believer in another totally different way because of his sovereignty. God specializes in individualized instruction.He knows what to do to get each of his children on track.No matter what guiding method God uses to instruct and lead you,Be ready willing and Receptive to get on board with his plan”. So I believe what I’m going through is just this. This is how God is reaching/leading me. Yesterday I posted part of my testimony in the intro page. It explains part of this. https://www.ptm.org/spiritual-growing-pains-brad-jersak

Have any of you experienced Christian growing pains and if so, what has it been like for you? I’ve been going through a spiritual test for the last 1 1/2 years and I’ve experienced similar tests to this in the past. I’ve been on the hunt trying to find someone who has gone through something similar but... haven’t. I’ve been a Christian for 20 years and through those 20 years, God has used feelings/emotions to reach/speak to me. I had gone through 1 period of time, back in April 2019-Nov 2019, where I didn’t feel anything and I failed miserably and kept drifting away, but, every 3-5 days, Jesus nudged me and he did that for those months up until Nov 1, 2019 when I began experiencing another test and I’m still going through that test I don’t want to go into too much of what I’m experiencing right now, but, I’ve prayed a lot about it and the only ‘answer’ God is giving me is ‘Just Wait’. I also know God is allowing this test bc I experience deep peace every night while in bed and it’s a comfort bc getting through the days is often excruciatingly difficult. I’ve been experiencing these types of ‘changes’ through the day. It has nothing to do with my mood. Many days are so hard that I feel like I won’t be able to hold on and stay faithful. I started to feel these changes back in 2002 but back then, they only lasted for a few days at a time. In December of 2018 into March of 2019, I experienced 3 of these tests, all with a different end result. There’s a lot more to my story and what I’m experiencing but I’ll end there for now as I want to hear from some of you Please don’t judge me for what I’m sharing. I really haven’t found anyone that understands this or who could relate/help me with it. I share to see what others have experienced and to try to find someone who’s experienced similar https://www.ptm.org/spiritual-growing-pains-brad-jersak