cutiepie1497

sounds like me....only this happens always in history, thats usually it, unless its like a benchmark but its still usually only history. I get bright red (arms, hands, face, neck, etc) start sweating, my heart races, I get nauesous and dizzy and like just sit there looking at my desk staring at it....its horrible, and I dont know why it happens, but its always when I see a question that it is something I havent seen before.....or if the wording is totally off, my brain shuts down totally and the panic/anxiety attack hits me head on....I hate doing that, in fact, I was made fun of for it today, nice.

I posted this at PW but they are a bunch of jerks about it.....so, i knew to post it here.... My teachers all know that I am NOT a test taker. And I knew the history material like I know the back of my hand this morning, studied from 7-10 and from 3:30-5:30 am and from 7:15-8:00 (in mrs. snowdens room)....and KNEW it! The state made the benchmark over the summer, and what they made it reach, none of the teachers have even got there yet so mrs. snowden "taught to the test"....and thats fine, we got the notes and stuff. BUT we knew maybe 1/2 or 2/3 of what was on it, the rest we had never heard of. So, everyone finished the 60 questions test in like 30 minutes. I "dumped" on the paper, like you couldnt see anything but my handwriting throughout the entire exam...... Well, I saw the questions I never heard of and my brain like shut down completely. So they all left and I was in there taking the dang test until the beginning of 3rd period (i have history first). Mrs. Snowden tried taalking me through it, and I got through about 3 before I hit another road block and from that point on, I had no use of my brain....and I am serious. She tried relaxing me by just chatting with me.....that didnt work.....I was bright red and I was shaking really bad and my heart was racing and I was holding my head in my hand....it scared me that bad. Anyways, long story short..... how the heck do I get past this?! Public speaking is one thing, but test anxiety?! dang....I excell in homework and classwork whch keeps my grades up, and projects... quizzes, pop quizzes, tests not my thing. I hate that this happens with the nicest teacher....she told me that was fine and I could stay in there for 3 hours if needed (hah, felt like 3 hours today) and she is really sweet about it, but ugh......its like totally embarressing. I found out if I cant talk outloud if i just write all over the exam about everything it helps some, but talking outloud helps me the most, but it would disturb the rest of the class.....I may just sit in the floor at the back of the classroom so I can talk aloud (Mrs. Snowden said to sit back by her because she doesnt mind hearing me talk at all...I just dont want to take anyones seat)

hey, i have been raised in a public school system all of my life, and am a junior in high school. I had biology last year, and yes it went against what I believe but I debated until I was blue and my teacher loved this, I was the only one who voiced my opinion. It was fun, we did it nicely, and accepted each others side, even though we didnt believe in them.....i think hes a christian, he just cant say in school, he never uttered a bad word against creation either. So if you have guts you can handle evolution, the big bang, etc. I handled it and loved every minute of biology regardless and will now major in Biology getting certified to teach high school biology, thats how much his class impacted me as a person. stop bad mouthing public schools until you have visited and attended every single one.......christian and private schools arent all cracked up to be what yall make them out to seem.

My history teacher told us the first week of school that not all people were test takers, thus she gives nig projects to balance that out........she said "You know, some of the worlds geniuses were not test takers, they were beyond smart and simply could not do well on tests" I believe she named Albert Einstein........lol...........but that is so true.

Yes, I go to public school and love it with all of my heart, have the best teachers I could ask for... You know what I just realized....when I take other tests I talk to myself, like quietly and people always look at me really weird lol....and I haven't done that in her class since its so quiet and its history.... hah, sorry... I have always excelled in reading, in kindergarten and first grade I tested at 11th grade reading levels.....I think part of my problem is I have never been awesome in history, always getting A's or B's but not really "getting it" and its boring, what can I say? But I really want to do well, and am not doing so well right now obviously....and I am totally beyond bummed about it, because this isn't me....I am the girl in class who knows everything, always gets good grades, etc.....and right now I feel totally stupid. And I'n pretty sure she feels that I am too. I mean, why wouldn't she?

okay so i talked with Mrs. Snowden friday before school.....walked in and said "Hi. how were the tests?" and she said "you know, i am not happy with them ,at all....and it isnt just you guys, its that the history department did it together and 90% is crap......." and I started crying and I said "I studied Mrs. Snowden, for a long time I studied and knew the material, until I got the test and knew none of it" and she said "I know that look, come here hun" so I went to lay my stuff down and she thought I was leaving lol.....so I went over to her side of the desk and she said she plans on talking to the history teachers (pickett and booth) and the front office about the exam. She said "pull up a desk, lets see where we went wrong here" so I grabbed a desk and we did the whole test over....and I got every one of them right but like 2 or 3. Of course she was asking a question about the question, making each question true/false....and I knew almost every question....so she said "Bethany, you know this girl. I'll tell ya what, next test we take in here pull up a desk to my desk and you are going to sit here, read each question out loud softly and work through it like we just did" so....she said she wouldnt give her kids these grades because the test was crappy...... she called me after class and said "Bethany, I wanted to thank you for being honest with me this morning. I got a students perspective while working through the test and I just wanted to say thanks for doing that." You know she thinks I am completely stupid if I can fail the exam, and then get an A when she works through it with me. But, I must say they are worded very odd....like there could be 2 correct answers and you were forced to choose one, etc.... And I don't think its fair that I do that on the next test, however no one there takes her seriously, they dont talk with her, dont care about their grades, etc

ha, you do that....I skipped dinner.I think i had 2 potato chips and a sip of tea.....ah well, i ate too much today anyways.

we tried figuring out my problem in counseling (just christina and I) and she gave up on me after like 8 sessions, so yeah, i have no clue as to the root of this, except now its just addictive. Kmom, I cannot have 1 more thing on my plate....tonight for instance I have chemistry homework, algebra 2 homework, a test to study for in lit tomorrow, and a test in chemistry, a quiz in algebra 2, I have to finish my philosophy, find an article about education and write a paper..........and my parents are making me watch destany clogg at 6.....yeah, im bringing my bookbag, my grades come before any crap like that. I cannot squeeze anything else into my schedule.

oh dude, i havent been since a week before valentines day, got depressed and stopped going lol......doubt i will go back.....i mean, theres no point in it really, not this year with evrything happening, i will keep foing what i do and stay this way......unless i go on friday night and saturday or something.

thanks everyone, it seems to be easing off......but thats usually right when it comes back stronger than before.....we will see what happens, hopefully nothing...maybe I can get things back under control before bad comes to worse.

like i said.....the bulimia balanced off weight loss so i went frm 91 to 81 but once i ate "normally" again i came back up to 89 and now am back at 90.......so, it wasnt permanent unfortunately. Nah, the YMCA keeps a close eye on people...mom made them aware of it when the fat thing was done....my goal weight was 87..they crossed that pput quick lol....no your fine at 90 lol.......anyways...yeah, during fights and stuff its always "YOU FAKED EATING DISORDERS" and that type of stuff.........if only i could lose so much weight and prove it to them.....

Kmom, I dont tell people.....heck, if my parents never believe me, my youth pastor and wife, or my counselor, well I was sure most people would do the whole "your faking it" or "you just want attention" like my parents

by stupid i mean irrational like not eating or throwing up.

ugh, I totally over ate today........oh well, there is always tomorrow. this is really getting on my last nerve, I wish it would all just go away and leave me alone for a year.......thats all I ask, a year off....without dealing with this......tis is harder then I thought it would be. nothing stupid has happened yet though, so thats good, I guess.

what I wouldnt give to be a 0 or 00 at the end of the school year. ugh, my mind is shot at the moment, forgive me....not one of my good days.....