thereaperman

yesterday i nearly had a car crash, which spookd me becuase the night before i had been talking with my friend saying that i could die in a car crash 2morrow. latley ive been filled with the fear of god, everything is broken, myself included, it seems to me that theres nothing i can do to control any of my situations and im only damaging the people i love unintentionally. it feels like im failing to do anything good at all. yesterday instead of enjoying the trees and sunshine and birds singing i broke down and called to the sky to help me, i know god hears our prayers and answers them in unexcpected ways, but i just have no clue what to do to get back on level terms with him, and stop me feeling like im loosing my mind. another self indulgent post, but im lost.....does anyone else feel like this from time to time?

i know jesus doesnt care about race or money or anything else this world divides us by. i know how god speaks to me through jesus, and its often not the same way oneone here hears him which is why most of my honest posts get deleated. what else i dotn understand is, if god set us all free through jesus, why are we constricted by the law, by repenting and praising all day everyday and only having one way to heaven?

post anything i like? id like to say i think god speaks to everyone in thier own way, i think muslims hear god a differant way to christians, same with hindus and buhdists. i dont think god is narrow minded in the sence there is only one way to him, and thats through being a right wing white middle class christian.

if god gave us freewill to go where we want and do what we want, is there such a thing as being in the wrong place at the wrong time or vice versa. i thought god has us exactly where were needed, so does this mean we dont really have free will and are just living out his plans. also is there a differance for a christian and a non-christian in the sence of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and vice versa?

when was being honest the same as being boastful? living in the light, isnt that an idolatrous idea though? which in itsself is a sin, which means god wont come near me and i have no hope of being "rightgeous" becuase there is no such thing, becase every little thing is a sin which i cant stop. its not a case of not wanting to, i dont want to walk around with this buring pain in my soul if it was as easy to just stop sin 100% id have done it by now. we clearly interperate a differnat perspecitve of what is written in the bible, which was written by man. i do want to be saved hence acctually not being able to sleep last nite for fear of the evil spirits in my room and litterally crying out to god to take it all away, i believe and i call but i know were all differant ppl on differant paths in life and simply telling me to be really sorry and live a model life just isnt something like reality to me at the moment, i will read and study the scriptures youve posted and will pray (for what its worth) on the matter and i hope i become a differant person to the one i was when i posted my original message here.

how exactly is that suppose to help? i follow his word as much as i understand it and can apply it during these slightly crippling situations, i see were all still loving and upholding each other like christ taught

last nite i downed 20 units of alcohol and smoked 4 joints with some friends. i do thi about 3/4 times a week. i am kinda seeing someone who i sleep with and who doesnt think theres a god. i dont belong to a church or have any friends who are christians. i dont really know what my personal sins are or how to stop them, or where im at with gods plan for my life. ive also been feeling dark spirits or something similar near my bedroom door. sufice to say i have a feeling litterally EVERYTHING i do is a sin and its effecting the people i love and care about and maybe god is punishing them for my sin. i pray loads and follow his word, but sometimes i just dont know why he cares about me

about the music, i did alot of research for a college piece about music, basically the industry is ripping people off left right and centre, suddenly people find they dont have to put up with it they start suing thier own customers...if it was all illegal why make the crd/dvdr burners in the first place, and put a funciton on nero asking if you want to copy copyrighted material. i dont think filesharing is a sin, i think the big 5 music companies need to stop over charging ppl and untill they do there will be alot more "theft" from thier artists. what was becoming apparent to me was that putting time and energy into videogames or copying music could be seen as idolatrous, which is a bad thing im guessing, and then not wanting to follow the material world, that idea in itself becomes idolatrous. i dont think ive ever been this awear of how much sin is ingrained into every single person on the planet. im all up for sinning less and getting closer to god, but sometimes it just seems like its gonna get me sooner or later one way or the other so why fight it all, all the time?

i was thinking the other day is downloading music a sin? for instance video games that envolve gambling to develope the game, is that a sin? does every "little" thing that might promote sin in things like video games, music, tv, films ect all count towards the things that will be given to us when we reach heaven?

i was 10 and at a christian camp, the one single most happy weekend of my life. im getting on better with god now, i pray first thing when i wake up, last thing at nite and all the points in between when i get a moment

when we die, do we go to heaven, or do we stay "dead" till the resurection when we come back to life to walk on the new earth? plus what happens when im cremated and dont have a body to rise up from the ground?

the other night i awoke at about 4am and am not entirely sure if i saw someone standing in my room, they were quite tall and were wearing a trench coat with a hat and then winked at me and dissapeared. i was pretty freaked out so i prayed to god to prtoect me if i was an evil spirit. then when i went to sleep again i remember someone telling me it was st christopher in my room. ive also been getting the feeling that when i walk around my house at nite, someone is just waiting to stab me, pretty odd i know, maybe the otherside is seeping into my house? anyone have any opinions?

hey there cats im sorry to hear your feeling low, listen to music helps me through, not hyms, but songs from my fav bands, because i feel god is talking to me through this medium and he knows how i feel. simple man- lenard skynard sunscreen- baz lurhman fake plastic trees- radiohead time of your life- greenday tears in heaven- eric clapton the wall (both discs)- pink flyod wish you were here- pink flyod the final cut/not now jhon- pink flyod let it be/all you need it love- the beatles gone away- the offspring i break down to every one of these songs if i listen hard enough and feel in the mood, but i know god is there with me as the tears run, when im at my weakest.youve been a great help to me ever since ive known you, i pray god delivers you through this time of sadness like i know he will god bless you

sometimes all it feels like i do is sin. everyt thought, action, word, intention is just wrong and compleatly out of line with what god wants me to do. and i cant hear what it is god wants me to do, and if i can i feel im ignoring it. i feel so useless and guilty just by living in my house, driving my car and eating food on my plate when1/3 of the world is starving and 30,000 people a day die from starvation. i want to help people, i want to make a huge differance on this planet while ive still got time. i feel im letting myself and everyone else down by not being the best person i can be, and i dont know how i can be that person and help and save people in the state im in, or how i can get out of this frame of mind..... does anyone else feel this way sometimes?

it was just a general term, im not a new age believer, im a christian, even if i do offer differant opinions to that of a more steryotypical christian, i dont mean to offend anyone by that statement, as i didnt by saying "mother earth" its just ive been reading a lot about global warming and stuff, and wondered waht the bible had to say on the issue that was all love paul