paperflower

THANKS to all who replied....There were a few comments that made me smile...others...who wrote that I didn't want to hear GODLY COUNSEL...look again....I ASKED JUST FOR THAT. I thought that reaping coals was intended in this way...WHEN YOU ARE BEING KIND TO THE PERSON WHO HURTS YOU...you are actually putting coals on their head. BEING KIND TO SOMEONE WHO HURT YOU IS A GOOD THING. Have not heard from him....and that has become ok....why? VENGENCE IS MINE SAYS THE LORD. I had to deal with the hurt to get to this point. When I wrote the post I was just not there yet.

SHORT AND TO THE POINT. A GUY I DATED FOR FOUR MONTHS OWES ME MONEY FOR AN IPOD I PURCHASED FOR HIM. HE CONTINUES TO TELL ME THAT HE IS GOING TO MAIL ME THE CHECK. WE LIVE IN DIFFERENT CITIES....THAT WAS A WEEK AGO. AND THE SECOND CHECK SHOULD HAVE BEEN MAILED BY NOW. I CALL AND LEAVE VERY POLITE MESSAGES....REAPING OF COALS ON HIS HEAD....I REFUSE TO SHOW MY ANGER. THE TOTAL AMOUNT IS $275.OO. WHEN I CALLED AND REACHED HIM I SPOKE FOR JUST A FEW MINTUES. SO HE CAN SEE MY NUMBER ON THE PHONE. I SENT EMAILS AND HE RESPONDED IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE BY NOW. AT THIS POINT I AM VERY ANGRY. YES I KNOW THAT IS ALLOWING THE SITUATION TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE. JUST SKIP ALL THE YOU DONT GIVE A MAN MONEY AND ALL THAT...I WANT GODLY COUNSEL. NOT WORLDY VIEWS.

I have a sunray (sunshine) on my ankle....simply because I am called sunshine by so many people. They think I bring life/sunshine into the day. I am told I am a nice person, I dont get mad easily ( guess I wait till I get home to do that, lol) and folks come to me daily for advice. I tell them all the time I was going to start a business and charge for all this free advice. Now I want to honor my mom and get one reminding me of her. The only reason I do not have it is because of 1)the line in the Cayman Islands was so long and I had to get back to the ship and his price was EXCELLENT 2)The tattoo shops here are nasty or they want to charge me WHAT FOR THE TATTOO??? You must be crazy to think I will pay that for something so small and SIMPLE. There I am no less of a Christian for having a sunray on my ankle. I would have about two more if they didnt cost so much. Once I get back to the Cayman's I am GETTING ANOTHER ONE.

I am a member of this church...and the pastor himself was not the one who made the decesion...it was another female pastor...(hey wait...don't go there in this post if you are AGAINST female ministers). Now the pastor himself has gone through WORSE than this...when your church grows rumors fill up more space than the pews....so that is why I said I have a headache over this...and for the record I am a personal friend of the pastor, knew him through my sisters before I joined. I didn't get a chance to talk to the coworker today...very busy day at work...I want to follow up with this case. And I guess it doesn't matter that the person asking was wheel chair bound. ....but as to the part of asking, this church is one of the largest and is known to help out. Wise words, Axey! If the woman is not a member of the church it would be rather strange for her to come asking for money. It's never a good idea to formulate an opinion by one side of the story. I heard once; there are three sides to every story, her side, his side and the truth. In many cases this is very accurate. Gossip is, telling someone something that is not part of the problem or solution. You were neither. Paperflower, I feel badly for you to be put in the middle of this situation and to have to listen to gossip. Next time this woman comes to you, it might be a good idea to tell her that you do not want to hear gossip from her.

Yes God will take you into his fold and you only have to believe he loves you and your past is your past. God doesn't hold that against you.....I only want to ask one thing...and no one had touched upon this....what about this new guy, is he a Christian? Does he accept your life with Christ? There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't have God in their life.

Today at work a coworker comes up to me and says she needs to tell me about UPBC ( a local church) and then starts talking...."THERE WAS A LADY WHO WENT TO UPBC YESTERDAY TO ASK FOR HELP IN TURNING HER GAS BACK ON. SHE HAD BEEN WITHOUT IT FOR A FEW DAYS AND HAD SOMEONE TURN IT ON FOR TWO DAYS. NOW SHE NEEDED THE EXTRA $345 TO GET IT TURNED ON. SHE HAS THE OTHER PART OF THE MONEY BUT SHE STILL NEEDS $345. THE MINISTER AT THE CHURCH TOLD HER 'NO WE CANNOT HELP YOU BECAUSE YOU TURNED YOUR GAS ON FOR TWO DAYS ILLEGALLY'. NOW THE LADY WAS GIVEN A LISTING OF OTHER CHURCHES WHO MAY HELP BUT WAS TOLD DONT COUNT ON IT BECAUSE THEY PROABLY WONT HELP YOU EITHER BECAUSE YOU TURNDED THE GAS ON ILLEGALLY. Now if you were told this at work what would have been your reaction?

First of all allow him some time....if you have never been involved with military life or don't have family in the military,it is a little hard to get you to understand....allow some space for him to work through his thoughts and the readjustment....listen when he wants to talk...allow him to sort out his emotions...this takes time....

Hey, give us a break....it hasn't been THAT long since she posted Everyone has feelings of insecurity, some more than others, but everyone has them nonetheless. Audrey Hepburn spent her life not liking her face, not ever believing how beautiful everyone said she was...to this day she is one of the most celebrated beauties to hit Hollywood. *sigh* I wish I had a magic pill to give you to make you not feel like that...I wish I had one for every woman out there. The truth is, though, it won't heal overnight. It's not because you're too vain...don't accuse yourself of that... One thing I can assure you is that people AREN'T looking at you and thinking that you're hideous...I know you say you know that, but sometimes head knowledge just doesn't become heart knowledge right away...so here are two reasons you can use to convince your heart: 1. You're not hideous. You're BEAUTIFUL. I've seen your profile pic. 2. They're all too worried about how THEY look to think about a pimple on someone else's face, or some "imperfection" that no one actually sees but you (we all think we have those, by the way) Anyway...I may have something more helpful to say later...right now, though, I need to make sure it's actually something I practice or plan on practicing *rueful grin* I've struggled with this myself...

Let me have the podium for a sec...my church went from having two services to four. We moved to a larger building and it went back to two again..we are now back up to four services on each Sunday. Make that five if it is the first Sunday. Now I have a schedule that I work on Sunday mornings. I do my bible study over the internet because when I am in church they speak to those who have made the "cut". What is the cut, darn if I know. I went from being one who people spoke to, shared things with and I know from being in or at our women's conferences some very personal things. Things I would never repeat. So how did I get outest??? I will remember being at a baby shower some years ago. I spoke to a member who I did Bible study with every Monday night, at the shower she asked me how we knew each other. I even called her by her FIRST name. So from my experiences and the way they don't speak in church or IN public....oh please let me not forget to put this one on here. One Sunday morning before praise and worship I gave a note to a lady I had spent quite a few hours talking to and getting to know well in Bible study. It was about a personal situation that I wanted to talk to her about. Now don't go and say maybe she didn't want to be involved. If she sat and told us some very personal things in our study she (I hope) should feel free to talk to me. (one thing about my church it was a place to come and be able to share and get things off your chest. we had some of the most awsome Bible classes and teachers) I gave her my number and all. Now there is one other lady who will come to me on my job asking for work but she will not ask me about church. Umm maybe she is not there herself???? Any how..back to what I was saying...the lady never called or followed up with me. I saw her one other time and said hello but left the subject alone. When I give out my heart I don't like it stepped on so I keep it protected. Well that is just my view on this....maybe with the growth of some churches they have LOST THE MEANING OF WHAT GOD INTENED FOR US TO DO.

I know that the tons of viewers who have no left no messages is not helping you either. So I will start. Has someone told you that you are this way or is it from simply looking at yourself and then some television show or model? Where did you first get the idea you were unattractive? In order for this guy to find you attractive he must see something beautful to his eyes. Men find things about a person that is attractive to them and them only, so you have something he likes. Do you sit and talk to him or just simply say you don't have time for him? Try sitting and talking and find how that feels to you. Do a game date. You bring a game you like, he brings a game he likes. Have fun laughing and playing. From there see how things go. You may just need to explore being around people who UPLIFT YOU.

Be his SISTER and just ask HEY DID YOU KNOW YOU BLEED ON YOUR SHEETS? You need some band aids? That starts a conversation. If you don't start one you can't have one. Ask questions. After all you will find out if he wants someone to talk to. If not you did do something now which could lead to more later. TALKING that is.

I understand your not being able to say but if you have kept up with the CBS EVENING NEWS you have seen my soldier's unit all over it.....sooooo when your husband's unit does leave I will add him to my prayers. Sorry for seeming peeved but I am not new to this, and since the devil is right now trying to bring my joy down.....my soldier just got off the phone making me laugh until I felt my stomach tighten guess you can say he is going to make me laugh until we cannot contact each other. I have found my own little support group right at work...former Army female coworker and younger lady who is soon to be in the same boat. So thanks again all who read and prayed for us. God is who I am turning to the most now.....I still need you guys don't worry

He pulls out this weekend. And the time we got to spend before he leaves was a blessing from God. I don't know when I laughed so hard. I think he enjoyed MAKING me laugh more than I did laughing. I know for the both of us it makes things easier so we only have pleasant memories. PRAISE GOD FOR THE GIFT OF HUMOR. He gave me so many things to just recall memories. The cologne....not going to open that up for awhile...just smelling it the day he gave it to me made tears fall. I hurried up and put that away. We went back to smiling the moment I said NOOOO CAN'T DO THAT. Laughing all over again. So if anyone reading this has someone leaving any time this year....CREATE GOOD MEMORIES starting the moment you finish reading this post. God will see you through the rest.

Things are so far so good. We are still laughing and talking giving God all the praise He deserves. I know that this time will allow us grow closer to God because He will be the glue that holds me and my soldier together while he is away. We both are talking about how skinny we will be when we see each other. Me in the gym and him not eating all those great meals he can COOK.

Let me have this one....LET ME HAVE THIS ONE....!!!! Ok I have tons of experience of ONLINE DATING....let me tell how, just how much SAFER it is...you get to tell them upfront and NONPERSONAL that you will not sleep with them. That you are not going to have phone s++. Do I need to keep going in the direction you are seeing???? It is the safe way to find out all the things you just don't want to sit through. You get to feel them before sitting and having to find out. Plus you get to talk and never give out your phone number. Now yes I have heard stories of marrying the man you met online....so don't knock online until you have sat behind your keyboard for hours losing sleep. Good luck to all who try it!!!!!

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. The man God has sent to me and he is TRULY a blessing from God is on his way to Iraq. God has His own purpose and timing for our meeting. Perhaps in my case it is to ready myself for my soldier. To be the good wife that God would have me to be. There are many areas I could polish up while he is gone. So during his abscense I will be working on my relationship with God and on myself. DO NOT GIVE UP GOD HEARD YOUR CRY AND KNOWS YOUR HEART. He will provide the man for you if that is His plan for your life.

Thanks for the prayer. Today was rough at times but with God's help I got through it. I hope that my soldier had a good day also. Tomorrow he should travel back to the base. I pray for his safety and his sister's health. I feel loved with the words that have come my way. Now I will go and live for God and allow him to lead me daily, knowing that each step I take he had it all planned out for me. IT'S FUNNY HOW AT THE TIME WE DON'T SEE THAT, BUT IF YOU LOOK BACK OVER YOUR LIFE....IT WAS ALL GOD'S PLAN.

Thanks to all. This is my first day back at work after spending time with him and I feel it may be hard. As you say your prayers today and at church tomorrow please remember us. I am feeling sad. The bad thing is that the military men I know here who are no longer active are not being supportive. Not once have they said pray or even mentioned God so I think that should be a sign all by itself. Two close friends are supportive however. I just don't want to overwhelm them . So until I get to where I need to be I will load up the boards. I was so strong up until his sister had to go into the hospital. Since that moment I have picked up his emotions. Remember this is not my first soldier. With the other there was no last mintue emergency so we left with all hope and smiles. With this one he is leaving all worried about his sister's health. Pray for whatever the doctor's tell her which I think will not be all that bad, but like I said I am picking up his emotions and the fact that she is all he has. I guess now would be a time to add that his ex will not let him see his daughters before he leaves and that is a problem too. Think about how that must feel. I hope soon that my emotions return to being stable. I felt so good during our time until the call came for him to leave for her state and see how she is doing. He feels bad that he had to leave and thinks I will rethink our relationship. He said the devil messed things up for us. (HIS OWN WORDS) So now tell me what you think.

LOL..I have left text messages, email, IMs and the tons of phone calls telling him I am supportive. I took his face in my hands and made him look at me as I said I will be here. I am not anyone from his past who was not there during his first and second tours. He suffered heartache and disappointment when he returned. When we first met he said he felt God had answered his prayers for a good Christian woman to come into his life before he left. Now I am here and he seems scared.

We do not share a household and his sister is the emergency contact. The situation with that is that she just got admitted to the hospital. Plus we never got to meet before any of this happened and she lives three states away from me. So he is leaving with a lot on his plate. As far as the unit I didn't think they would accept me. I will talk to him about this. I am trying to give him a little space to take care of this emergency with his sister. I know he is somewhat stressed and said he needs to deal with the family matter and deployment. So with the impeeding hanging of Sadam I have been more worried he may leave sooner. It is hard to explain if you don't know how stressed it can be having a man leave at any moment. Plus when you have things taking place just as you leave it can be very hard to say goodbye to loved ones. Will you guys step into the gap for me and just pray. I have shed tear after tear and just a little exhausted right now. So I need my circle of protection from the devil trying to give me thoughts. Plus he is now afraid I will not be here when he returns. If you know or have heard of the many things that happen to them while gone you have heard a horror story or two. That is where the devil is coming against him and what he thinks I will do. Age doesn't matter even when you are 37. Men still have doubts. Eighteen years of service don't matter either. Men are human even the most devout Christians.

Hello all, I am in need of finding support for me. My boyfriend leaves for Iraq in a few weeks. I have been a former military wife so this is not new to me. But when you are not married you don't have the same channels as those who are married. So I am looking for CHRISTIANS to talk to and find support. I ask that if you don't have supportive words to please not comment. This tour is hard for both of us. He has enough on his plate and I just need to talk about my concerns. There will be times I will not hear from him and that is an issue all of it's own. If you have "been there, done that and got a t-shirt to proove it" please share with me. Like I said girlfriends don't get the same channels as others, so until find my own group I am coming to you guys.

No he is in the same city as me!!! Wow what made you ask that question?

Constant..I have 38 years of experience with this ....my mom, my aunt, my grandfather, and two cousins...all from the same blood line.....i just found out the guy i am dating is bipolar...what can I help you with? I would like to just add please consider taking your meds again.....until then. Waiting to hear from you.

What is a car boot sale?

Hmmmmm, well let me see.... I will be honest and tell you all that I am surrounded by ungrateful folks at work so it is hard to vision me giving things I work hard for to folks like I work with. Call it what you want but I am going to be real with everyone I come in contact with. So that would leave me giving to folks who already take my helping them for granted. YOU SAID HAVE A PARTY AND GIVE TO FOLKS. That would mean giving to people I know I just cleaned out a closet of things asked my neighbor if she wanted them to only have her put them in a closet and therefore they are right back to where they were with me....cluttering up her house. So unless you guys trust total strangers coming in your home....that is not the answer for me....