Hey FC,
I read your question, letter and some of the responses. Sometimes your brothers and sisters in Christ do not act the way they should, why else would Paul have written so many letters? When the Church was a baby, believers where operating in the gifts of the spirit after having received the baptism in the Holy Spirit. But yet they were still acting unbecoming of followers of Christ. Paul had to tell them to stop gossiping and being busy bodies. He had to tell them that love was the most important thing, not how well they prophesied or ministered healing or did good works. They were literally like new born babies running around with new pacifiers and teething rings. And because they had these abilities or were operating in that authority Christ gave them, they thought they were beyon reproach. Paul had to remind them that they still needed to avoid sin and live each and every day for Christ. They were not given a license to do what ever they wanted. They not only had to obey the laws of the land but they also had to keep the greatest command and that was to love God with all their heart, mind and soul. And the second was to love their neighbor as they loved themselves. I often tell people that they can't love their neighbor if they don't love themselves.
Yes, what they did was wrong. Forgive them completely. Ask God what He wants you to do. In the meantime have bible study with your wife and children right there at home. Make sure it is fun and enjoyable to all. Focus your life on living the fullest for God. He has great plans for you as there is a purpose for your life. You were not born to merely exist. You can sing, you were on the worship team. I believe your heart longs to fellowship with other believers. For a period of time the Lord had me visiting various denominations. You know, not one of them was perfect. Every one had a flaw or two. People are not perfect and will never be while we are here on earth. Remember you are not following people, you are following God. Don't give up on Him because of people. As God leads you and you start to visit Churches again, be mindful that the one you choose will have flaws you can live with. Don't be so hard on yourself, forgive yourself and move on. Remember Paul said we must run the race and do so to win! Not just barely make it through, run to win the prize. One last thing, have you ever noticed when runners are running, they never look around. They don't look at their opponents, they don't look up at the benches, their eyes and total focus is on the finish line. They want to win, they pace themselves to last to the end and have enough strength to give it one last push at the end. Your already in the race, run to win.
Tomi